Mom wants to go too!

From my experiences, slow your trip WAY down. You can always pick up the pace when you want to, but things like the number of nights in a given location, the number and length of train transfers, reliance on metro systems (stairs), and the general pace of each day need a lot of careful attention. Plus, travel is very hard on the traveler, and her ability to recover each day will not be the same as yours. Everything is exagerated and accelerated when you travel, as you've probably experienced..."Travel is accelerated living" I believe goes the Rick Steves' quote. Especially if your mother hasn't traveled in a while, her stamina level may be surprisingly curtailed. When possible, look into apartments. You'll have a more comfortable 'home' to come home to. You can cook some and eat (or not) when you want on YOUR schedule. If your mother wants to go back to the apt and rest, she can. You can then hustle around at your faster pace and do the things she may not have a strong interest in. Make sure she eats enough and stays hydrated. Lots of cafe breaks. This is certainly not to say an older person is some pathetic, frail thing!!! Far from it, in many cases. So, no flaming ;-) Carefully coordinate your likes and dislikes into a plan that works for BOTH of you. Be flexible, and you've already realized that there will be more trips; that helps keep at bay those franticky-panicky feelings of must-do-it-all-on-this-trip that would make it a disaster for both of you. Have fun planning, and I envy you two! This sounds like a great opportunity for both of you!

(Not yet your mother's age but getting there) I agree with a previous post, cut down on long train journeys (dont eliminate them), spend more than one night in each place, and stay somewhere where you (or your Mom, depending on who tires first) can go back to hotel or apartment on your own while the other continues sightseeing. Also a trick my wife and i have learned, you dont both have to go and see the same things in each town, you can split up and do what pleases you. I would endorse your Mom's wanting to see the Loire chateaus while in France. it needs at least two days (one night) as there is such a variety and you do a lot of walking. And on the way between loire and paris, i always suggest Chartres- a jewel. Otherwise your general plan should still be doable. I would also suggest train travel as being less tiring than intra Europe plane, or long distance bus/coach. Also hotels are less tiring than apartments.

Elizabeth: lots of excellent advice here. I especially endorse the idea put forward by a couple of posters that the itinerary will have to be shaped by your mother's condition above all. Given that, however, I thought I would suggest an itinerary for a 24 day trip...it may not be useful or doable for you at all, but it may stimulate your thinking. Day 1 arrive Paris. Spend days 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 in Paris. Include in that time a day trip to Versailles (use the tourist tram to get around the gardens) and a daytrip to the Loire (as Rick explains in his France book) using the TGV plus the Acco-Dispo minivan guided tour, which coordinates with the TGV arrival at Tours. Day 7, take the train to Amsterdam (about 5 hours). Days 7, 8, 9 in Amsterdam, perhaps with a daytrip to Haarlem. Day 10 Train Amsterdam to Munich. This would be a long train ride. Now train rides are far more comfortable and relaxing than flying, but it might be better to break the 6-8 hour train ride in Cologne. Days 11 through 14 in Munich with day trips Day 15 Use one of the several discount airlines (Air Berlin, Austrian Air, etc) to get a cheap direct flight to Rome. Days 15-16-17 in Rome Day 18 Train to Florence (a fairly short ride). Days 18 through 22 in Florence, with some rental car day trips into Tuscany. Day 23. Train to Venice. Night in Venice Day 24 fly home from Venice
As I say, this may be not at all what you had in mind, but it may give you some ideas. Have a great trip!

Each person is different, but I'll share my experience. I traveled with my mom when she was 70. We visited the British Isles for three weeks. She walks well and had no problem getting up early with me. Each day we ate an early breakfast and started out in time to get to attractions early. We would usually hit a major attraction for the morning, eat lunch and then do another major attraction in the afternoon. I found she did really well every day, until she hit a wall about 5 pm. At that point, I needed to get her in a taxi, have dinner and let her get ready for bed. I would usually do something alone in the evening (historical walk, trad session at a pub, show, or just write in my journal). I think the key thing is managing your energy. I don't have the energy my kids have and my mom doesn't have the energy I have. Managing your energy means ration your walking and standing times (make sure it's directly related to something you want to experience), keep snacks and water handy to recharge, and sit down for meals (rather than my normal eat on the fly). Pack light is another big one. My mom doesn't pack light but she's trying to learn. She recently had shoulder surgery as a result of trying to handle her heavy suitcases (not from the trip with me).

I don't think the idea of "meet in the middle" is useful here. If the scope or pace of the trip exceeds her physical abilities it will be a disaster. You have to stay within those limits, not find a compromise that exceeds them. If there is a compromise maybe Mom yields to you on destinations while you yield to her on pace and scope.

I know from experience that traveling with your mother can be more tiring for you. You may have to go up and down metro stairs to make sure you're going the right way before she goes up and down the stairs. You may have to leave her perched somewhere while you hunt down a taxi. You may have to take her back to the hotel when you normally wouldn't. Trying to keep smiling and being pleasant can be the most exhausting! However, go ahead and take mom. Treat it as her last trip, although you don't need to put that in words. Go to Paris, and maybe just pick two of your other wishes. Then in the back of your mind, plan your next trip alone. (I'm going next October.)

Why not try to plan about three main destinations. You could do Rome, Paris, and Munich. Or London, Paris, &Rome... You get the drift. Try to book apartments or long stay hotel rooms with efficiency kitchens. Plan to use trains for day trips. Cheap flights would work for getting between the major destinations. You also received good advice abbot pacing. You and Mom just need to be honest with each other about when you are getting tired and be flexible. I also agree about not needing to do everything together.

When I was about 70, travelling with a 30-something person, we worked out that we needed to do most of our tourist activities separately. We shared a room and some meals, but spent most daytime activities separately. She had a lot of energy and hadn't been to Europe before. I, on the other hand, had traveled in Europe and had a different agenda for daytime travels. We spent two weeks in Europe: one in Paris and one in London. Then we flew home together. If your mom has traveled in Europe before, the two of you can easily spend time apart to suit individual tastes while sharing a room/apartment.

Take her on a European cruise. It will be much easier on her and thus everyone will enjoy it more.

Just don't wander too far each day from your hotel or B&B. That way, if she wants to quit early some days, she can go back to base and you can resume sightseeing on your own. Over 3 1/2 weeks, she'll probably want to take 2-3 days "off" from sightseeing anyway, and just stay behind at the hotel/B&B by herself. My advice would be to quit worrying & trust your spunky Mom to pace herself.

it's understandable to want to cram as much "seeing" into your trip, but the things that you will really enjoy aren't snapping a picture of what ever sight you happen to be seeing, but rather just being there. and if you are dead on your feet the whole time, you when you look back at it, all you'll remember is a blur of sights that you didn't really appreciate, anyway. i travelled in spain, and our first city was barcelona. we got off the plane that first day, and tried to hit the ground running. but all i really remember of las ramblas, casa battlo, etc is being incredibly tired and just really wanting to go to sleep. don't make your entire trip like that.

Am retired and have traveled with son several trips and then with his whole family. We travel very, very light with a rolling bag so no one has to carry it for me. How we work it out is I do all the planning as I have the time. Of course we have to agree on what we want to see. We also have free time so we can do what we separately want to see and also to give ourselves some space. Am sure since you have been to Europe before as to not do much the first day and the last day try to stay at airport if early flight. Why not Paris since you have been to London and she has been to Rome, maybe include Germany or Spain as they are close. It is funny but my son usually tires before I do, I guess I have more adrenalin. Oh, when we go off on our we usually arrange to meet up at a certain time/place later in the day. Also be sure to carry the name/address of hotel or B&B where you are staying especially when you are on your own. We have rented cars sometimes and when we do that, we have a back pack for just what we need for the night and next day so don't have to carry the whole suitcase into hotel. Just leave it in trunk. You might be very pleasantly surprised with the time you will have. I have been the child who took first my father in his 70's and then another time my mother in her 80's and I felt a lot of responsibility but we adjusted to what we could do and not do. Try to relax and enjoy the time together.

i like roe's itinerary. time at the front end to get acclimated and comfortable with the time change and different pace of life, and then at least 2 nights at pretty much everywhere else on the trip so you aren't constantly traveling (and thereby wasting valuable enjoyment time) and packing/unpacking. remember that exploring "your" neighborhood is a good chunk of the fun when you are tired of being a "tourist" and want to "live like a local" as RS puts it.

I traveled with both my parents when they were nearly 80. We went to Scotland and we did a lot. My Dad was slowed down by a sore foot, but for us a car rental worked really well. That was mostly because we were in the countryside. Dad and I planned the trip together. I am so happy that I did the trip with them. This past spring my dad died and that trip is something that I still cling too. Dad got to see my love of Scotland and I got to share that with both my parents. Now, if I can just get a new job, i can take my mom on another trip that will give the two of us new memories to enjoy. Pam

If I were an employer in Madison, I'd hire you on the spot.

You guys are wonderful. Thank you for the tips. If you have any additional ideas please don't hesitate. I'm truly considering all your suggestions at this point. Roe's schedule seems most interesting. I feel like a young bird trying to get off the ground. I've stretched my wings a little bit, but I think I need a little more help getting off the ground.
Any ideas on day tours would be helpful.

Elizabeth: It struck me after posting that you and your Mom might enjoy breaking up the Amsterdam to Munich trip with a Rhine cruise and an overnight in the Rhineland. The link below is to the K-D Rhine cruise schedule. Rick has full details on this as well as day trips from all major cities in his Best of Europe book, as well as in the specific countries books. Get his Best of Europe book at least right away...it is packed with information you can use.
http://www.k-d.com/englisch/schiffstouren/images-inhalt/timetable_rhine_2010_intern.pdf

One potential compromise could be that she comes for a portion of the trip. I've traveled with my elderly mother in law and it was definitely not the kind of vacation I'd normally take--her limitations dictated our every move. We rented a car, because she couldn't handle her own bag, much less handle her bag up and down train station stairs; we only stayed in hotels that had elevators and no front stairs; we kept walking to a minimum, etc etc. You mom sounds in better shape than that, but if I were you, I'd be sure that either: you are happy to have her along and don't mind making modifications, OR, you work out a compromise (she only comes for part of the day, or like a poster above you sightsee separately) that keeps you happy too.