For an older gentleman who needs the mens' room more often than the rest of us, where do you find them? Buying a coffee in a bar in order to get to use the bathroom is actually counter-productive! Any suggestions/advice?
Well, you could have the more strong-willed (strong-bladdered?) amongst you drink the coffee. ;-)
Otherwise, standard advice is to hit up every museum and church you can. In a pinch, a McDonalds will generally serve. And you can often find pay toilets at train stations. Some travelers find success by entering larger hotels and acting like they belong there as they look around for il bagno. But above all, don't pass any bathrooms by, even if you don't 'gotta go right now'.
All good answers, very like what we did in Budapest. But are there really bathrooms in churches?
Depends (just kidding).
I know when I traveled with my mom I always kept a mental note of every toilet I saw. She tended to ask for a restroom only when she really needed one so it's good to keep track of when you spot one.
Museums, McDonald's and many restaurants are good places to try for a toilet if you don't know where one is.
Dove toilet (Dough-Vay Toylette?) is enough to convey your request if you need to ask for one. Scuzi Senora or Senore is a more polite way to begin to ask.
Use toilets whenever you have a chance. My kids don't even argue anymore when we won't leave a restaurant or museum until everyone uses the toilet.
Remember to always keep a few 1/2 euro coins available for toilets. Many public toilets are pay toilets and some have a person cleaning with a little dish for coins. I think 1/2 euro is about right but I wouldn't give more than 1 euro.
"But are there really bathrooms in churches?"
Depends on the church. Santa Croce in Florence had restrooms outside of the church, but still on church grounds, near the Pazzi Chapel. This would probably be the least likely option, but it's worth it to keep your eyes open.
Liz---those were fonts.
Big fancy hotels always have really nice bathrooms. With so many people coming and going, no one will even notice. Big banks have bathrooms. Restaurants with outdoor seating always have a bathroom somewhere in the back. If they are busy, no one will pay attention if you go in. Office buidings always have bathrooms. We're never had trouble finding bathrooms.