Leaving the Tour due to annoying participants?

No.
Are you aware that Rick Steves tour participants are required to sign a No Grumps document? 😁

Oh my. Sorry if this is your current situation? Sometimes we are “placed” with the most difficult people ever on a tour or a vacation or seated with on a cruise at dinner night after night after night. We have! You cannot change others and oh how we wish we could!! Instead….can you figure out a way to re-engage them.. Ask them their story….We all have one. Find ways to see the positive….to see them differently than what you are feeling. Even love them…somehow? I am sorry! A risk we take as we travel. Travel blessings!

I suppose it could happen, but is seems pretty unlikely. My experience, and the experience reported by countless others on this forum is that the groups on Rick Steves tours are incredibly congenial and easy to get along with.

I do know that if there were a serious issue, my first step would be a private conversation with the guide expressing my concerns. I imagine that would take care of it. Just like any other social experience, If there is someone who annoys you, you simply don't spend time around them. You could choose to sit away from him/her at group meals, sit far away on the bus, generally not interact very much with that person. You choose how you spend your free time.

I simply can't imagine any issue that could not be resolved and would be so great that it would cause me to leave the tour.

If a tour member were a real problem, they should be told to leave the tour.

I wonder if guides are able to put names on a list banning them from future tours.

Please tell us more. What’s going on? Is this a general question? Or specific to a tour you are on; RS Tour or other?

We've done 9 RS tours and the vast majority of tour members have been great. However, on a Southern France tour we had a group of 8 (4 couples) traveling together. They refused to interact with the other tour members and insisted upon sitting with each other (and nobody else) at all the meals. It was very akward and even infuriated our wonderful guide.

We had one tour member who was traveling alone (not for the first time). She was very needy, got lost all the time, and bombarded the guide with really stupid questions. One evening we found her wandering the streets crying because she was lost and didn't know what to do. We tried to take her under our wings, but got tired of always worrying about her which took away from our enjoyment. Finally someone talked to the guide and found out that this was the second time she was reported for being a problem. He said that after two strikes the company probably would not take her on again as a solo (or maybe at all).

Other than that, we've generally had a great tour group, especially on a Rick Steves tour!

I've encountered a few people on non-RS tours who I was glad to say goodbye to, but I've never considered leaving a tour. Maybe I would if the whole experience were terrible -- the people, the guide, the places -- but hopefully I'd never sign up for a tour like that. In my two previous RS tours I've met some very enjoyable and interesting people, others who were less so but not difficult or "bad" in any way. In a group of 20+ people there will be a variety of personalities and interest levels, hopefully someone for everyone to enjoy. And, as noted above, you can always minimize contact with someone you just can't appreciate.

My answers to your questions are no and no.

I've been on 5 RS tours, 1 with my husband and the other 4 solo. They were all full, so that's at least 125 people. Of them, there has been only one person who was obviously rude to me personally. I don't know if she was rude to others as well. These days she might be called a "Karen." I just did my best to avoid her.

On one tour there apparently were 2 people whose behavior was not the best. I had no clue what was done or who they were. I only learned about it from someone else on the tour who mentioned it in their tour review. They said that the guide spoke to the people involved and they stopped doing whatever they were doing that was "bad."

Yes. Had the same people return late to the bus EVERY time. The tour guide politely reminded them that they were holding up the entire group, but to no avail. There are several personality types on tours: The know-it-all, the loud talker, the supposed leader, and the comedian or attention-getter. I may be missing a couple.

Me and the Hot Wife never considered leaving a RS tour as we invested too much money to consider that option, and it never became unbearable. I have a goofy sense of humor so nailing these personality types, like on Seinfeld, is fun for us.

We've been pretty lucky, but I prefer independent travelling, absent two RS tours, with a group day trip or two.

I had a similar experience as naalehuretiree with a very needy solo traveler that was constantly lost, late, confused, etc. (maybe it is the same person!). She was not the most fun to be around especially when I was matched up to share a room with her. I also had some very annoying tour mates on a trip to SE Asia, so much so the guide even couldn't help himself from rolling his eyes when they complained, primarily about his lack of control over the weather. I did have one person leave a RS tour early, a solo traveler who had recently lost her husband and was finding it too difficult to share space with other people.

That said, even the most annoying people have not caused me tour regret, and frankly it's no worse than having to deal with annoying work colleagues on a daily basis. You just do your best, and in the case of a RS tour, talk to the guide in private about things if they are getting out of hand.

Yes Big Mike…lol. I can find that humor can help with my frustration with annoying people. I first may try to find a way to like them…. somehow?…when that doesn’t work…avoidance and making a game of their behaviors. Who’s the last one on the bus today? Who has the best excuses? Who will fight over this table…who will win? The loudest…the whiner….on and on. Those group “cliques” mentioned above are just sad. Some people never get past Jr High behaviors. Rudeness a problem… People are often so defensive too. It takes a skilled and well trained tour guide to deal with all these dynamics. Maybe society togetherness even more strained these days? One has to figure a way not to let it undermine your travel experience. Leaving a tour would be devestating after all the planning and investment.

Out of 13 or 14 tours (not all RS), there have only been a couple of people who were memorable for being unpleasant, etc. If you have a large enough group, you can avoid them. On one tour, there were only 5 of us so avoidance was impossible. One of the tour members was a retired federal judge and not one to take any guff. She told the offensive person to knock it off in no uncertain terms. That worked for a while. On another tour in Africa, there was a very bigoted couple who were subsequently shunned by the rest of the group. None of these situations was bad enough that we would leave the tour.

We've had a variety of experiences on RS tours but nothing so terribly awful that we'd have considering leaving.

In 2016 we had a perfect example of why people shouldn't discuss politics. One person became a "must to avoid" and you can imagine why. It's often better not knowing where a person stands on an issue as delicate as your right to marriage. The rest of the group really gelled though.

In 2018 we noted the worst problem: a group of 8 people (business owners with employees & spouses) traveling together on the 11 day tour. They became so insular and separate but it was actually better when they functioned separately. Several of them continually boasted of their business success and chattered about everything they owned. One of the men loudly proclaimed often while walking in Florence how much he hated art. His complaints about his feet became tiresome and clearly he was only there for his employer. It was hard to understand why they chose that particular tour. There was little the tour guide could do with such a lopsided group. We did however become friends with 2 people outside that large group that shared our interests and we've kept in contact.

In 2019 we noticed that we had more than the normal count of "know-it-alls" on a 14 day tour. It became impossible to hold conversations with several of them. I have a good memory of a friendly tour member giving me an "attaboy" when he noticed that I refrained from correcting another member to avoid hurting her feelings. Another problem was a "shopper" who chronically arrived late to the tour bus. It was a situation that could never have been corrected by a tour guide in such a short time.

mrad15, no I wouldn't leave an expensive tour for that reason. But I would complain during and after to the company. Worst annoying persons I've encountered in an RS tour was a guy who would talk politics continually, and another who would hog the tour leader's attention the whole tour. But neither were annoying enough to ruin the experience. I've seen the RS tour leaders deal with late-for-the bus people, gift shop malingerers, and late night partiers, so I trust them to handle things. I wouldn't know about other companies, but I believe that this is one of the reasons that RS has the "no tips" policy - so their people don't have to worry about upsetting anyone in the group.

Not to keep shilling for RS tours, but I also think that they purposefully put a lot of the burden on the group: transportation to the starting point is on you; no grumps-policy; pack light; carry your own bags; plan your own free time; half meals on your own; walk + public transportation; sometimes no AC; etc. This seems to discourage the high-maintenance folks. Most of the people on our tours have been experienced travelers, or first-timers eager to learn.

I like Big Mike's list. It reminded me of the old saying that "there's at least one jerk in every group. If you cant figure out who it is, its probably you." I strive to maintain tour etiquette.

I like Big Mike's list. It reminded me of the old saying that "there's
at least one jerk in every group. If you cant figure out who it is,
its probably you."

On our only RS tour so far, our group was sitting around the table at dinner and a few of the RS tour vets were commenting what a good group we had. They commented that you could usually count on one every tour who was not the most pleasant. In my mind I started going around the table person by person trying to figure out who THAT person may be on this tour. I'm thinking, it's not her, not her, not him...until I got back to me, and I thought, oh oh.

Out of 4 tours, there was only one person whom I actively tried to keep a distance from, mostly during meal times. She was nice enough, but she would often use some sort of medicinal tinctures that would overwhelm the area with mint odours, especially before, during, or after a meal. It was a nuisance. I wanted to enjoy the subtle aromas of the foods; instead I was overwhelmed by mint. I felt like I was drowning in a swimming pool of mojito but without the rum. Let's just say that I wasn't the only one keeping my distance.

But was it enough to leave a tour? Not even close.

The reality is, not everyone is cut out to be a tour-group traveller. People who join tour groups have different reasons for attending. I imagine sometimes people go, not because they wanted to do it but are going along with someone who did. Travelling with a tour takes a kind of patience and tolerance (of interacting with people we didn't choose to be with) sometimes. It's something to keep in mind when deciding if having a guide and paying for the package is worth putting up with the inconveniences of tour group travel.

I've been on RS tours with annoying participants, and if you're in that situation right now: tell yourself this is only temporary/transient. You are not going to live with that person/persons forever, just for the remaining days. Focus on what you wanted to see or enjoy , and why you went on the tour. (e.g. I came to see ...., or I am here because I want to make a good memory with my loved one). You will go home at the end of the trip, and have memories both good and bad, and you will be able to tell the stories about the annoying person, as well as about the great things you saw and did. You will hopefully go on to have more trips, maybe better trips, maybe not on a tour, or on another tour, and the annoying participants won't be there and you will have new and better memories. Re: "buyers regret": look at it as a learning experience (maybe in future you choose a different style of touring).

I privately collect the stories about bad tour members. I check to make sure I'm not being an example of an annoying participant and what other people think are examples of bad behavior. And then when my trip is done, and many years later when I'm looking at photos, my family and I bring up the memories and we LAUGH at the stories about the annoying tour members. I don't forget, and I have never met them again anyways. Yes, I had regret while ON the tour , because of other participants, but I forgot about that regret feeling after I got home.

And to answer the question about blacklisting real problem tour members: yes, I am pretty sure it happens. I know that there were situations that involved alcohol, that RS tours had to ban people from touring with them again.

I have a goofy sense of humor so nailing these personality types, like on Seinfeld, is fun for us

@BigMike, you forgot the Close Talker :-) ... and I went to the same college at the same time as Seinfeld (Queens College in NY, he wore the t-shirt in a few episodes) so I probably ran across him several times ... my brush with future greatness

In 2016 we had a perfect example of why people shouldn't discuss politics

@Silas ... I have a rule ... never discuss politics, religion or sex with anyone unless you know them very well ... if not, guaranteed to start a fight, but if you like to get into heated discussions, then have at it ... but won't be with me since I would have put you on ignore and moved on

To answer the original question, we have never been on a tour (whether it be RS or some other group) so I can't answer the questions specifically but I wouldn't leave due to another ... I'm semi-antisocial and like to do my own thing so tours are not my cup of tea (especially since I tend to run a little behind and would feel bad and inconsiderate if I held up the group because I was late) ... but you see all the different personality types on display anywhere there is a group so I can imagine being 'stuck' with a particularly difficult person for a week or two or more would drive me nuts.

did any of this help you with your current situation, mrad15?

Or are you asking "just in case"?

Since this is your only post it is hard to work out what's causing the problem...

Having traveled on more than thirty tours with two different travel companies I’ve experienced from mild and subtle to extreme types of bad, naughty, and indifferent behavior (non criminal but one was costly). I can assure you that not any of this has led me to even consider abandoning a tour. After dealing with hundreds of thousands of individuals over 35+ years while working I quickly learned to allow each person (including myself) to own one’s behavior (good or bad).

While I definitely care about others well-being very much, another tour member’s actions are not my personal business but rather, if necessary, that of the tour guide(s). So, I’ll continue to enjoy the journey and follow the no grumps policy.

mrad15, when I first saw your post I thought you meant the Tour de France LOL.

The only tours I have done were treks in remote areas with fewer than 15 participants. Doing 15-20 miles a day with participants and a Sherpa crew made it easy to change up companions along the trail. And then there was the fatigue factor, no energy to waste on being disagreeable.

Rick has hinted that back when he led tours he had techniques and strategies, I'm sure he has discussed this with his tour guides.

Of course, just saying, no one on here is "one of those".

Been on 6 RS tours and 2 more scheduled this year. I appreciate that not everyone is the same and some personalities just do not gel but IMHO the worse situation is where you get a fairly large group within a tour who do not interact with the rest of the group. We usually go with another couple and we consciously try to share a meal or at least a conversation with every other person on the tour. RS tour members are the best.

I am really not that bad!

I'm not convinced that this is a 2 way conversation, but it is the OP's only post. Perhaps they haven't worked out how to answer their post.

Has anyone read Cameron Hewitt's book? There's a chapter about a tour he guided with a "busload of turds". He tells it quite humourously.

BigMike, if you've ever watched the movie "My life in ruins", you'll enjoy the guide's summation of the personality types on the tour. I love that movie. Some of the jokes don't hold up to today's sensibilities, but if you can overlook that it has lots of gorgeous Greek scenery (and a gorgeous Greek, lol).

We have only been on one tour, China. It was really regimented so there was no getting away from the one person that was driving people nuts. They even had us arranged at tables for every meal with the same people, and of course we were with her. At first I really liked her, but it went downhill. Finally I spoke to the guide and we moved tables. I waited too long and was angry by then. I should have approached the situation earlier. Lesson learned.

Now our second tour is coming up in September, RS Turkey, and I've been thinking about my own personality flaws and how to approach group travel with that in mind. I don't want to read about myself in the forums after we get back!

@ Andrea, I don't think that anybody from Peterborough, ON can be anything but nice. :-)

Sam, I assure you I have my moments!

Number 1 reason we have not taken a multi-day tour with anyone: fear of having to spend time with annoying people and no escape. Sticking with independent travel as long as possible.

Note: there is no assigned seating for RS tour dinners. Sit with who you want or don't want. Get up and leave when you're done if you want.

I was afraid of this when I took my RS tour; however, nothing could have been further from the truth. Everyone was perfectly nice.

And, with a pair of noise canceling headphones on the bus, I could have avoided anyone who annoyed me. At the time my fear was someone dominating with political rants so I was prepared to ignore them. Also, there is lots of free time and you can sit with different people at dinner. Remember, it is really just the guide’s problem should someone not gel. There is no reason to let someone ruin your trip…unless you didn’t buy the single supplement.

I also think all2alb had excellent suggestions.

Andrea, thank you. I'll check it out.

My favorite personality type is the person who thinks they're the assistant tour guide, sort of like Dwight Schrute from The Office.

My favorite personality type is the person who thinks they're the
assistant tour guide, sort of like Dwight Schrute from The Office.

Assistant TO THE tour guide.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tQG15iM1UI

Big Mike…yes…Oh how I miss The Office! Dwite Shroot….would be assistant to the tour guide. Hilarious mix of personalities. Can happen within any group. Always look for the humor!!

This thread was started by a first time poster who has never returned. I have to give him/her props for starting a thread that apparently resonates with people since we all know someone who annoys us.

I have been chuckling a bit to myself at the humor expressed on the thread, but also the obvious idea that dealing with annoying people is not a one way street. Perhaps it was because I was a high school teacher and saw the hyper emotional dramas play out day by day, but I have observed that often the people we find annoying find us annoying in return. We all know we have our patterns, habits, and ways of relating. It is entirely possible, in fact probable, that any given moment we could turn out to be the annoying person and not be aware of it.

This is another instance where giving grace and assuming good intentions makes a difference. I will do that for you, if you will do that for me. In my case, I would also want someone to say something to me privately so I could work on changing the annoying behavior.

when I was younger I was told that when I was pointing at something or somebody I didn't like, I had one finger pointing at them and 4 fingers pointing right back at me. So the problem is ... ?

My wife and I have been on 11 tours. Highlights of weird people

The close talker. I was never rude to him but tried to stay away. Everybody seemed to be happy he had attached himself to me.

Stupid question person. We were in the middle of Istanbul at a museum and and she asked what the address was. Huh?
Correcting the guide. Same person would always try to correct the guide on history. She was shutdown everytime.
Another stupid question person. We are in a winery in front of vat while the owner talks about his wine making. After saying the vats held xx liters of wine, our tour turkey asked, how many gallons is that?

Guy hitting on a woman on the tour. Final dinner in Paris and this guy's wife took sick so he came to dinner drunk and started hitting on my cousin. The whole table was uncomfortable and we all tried to shield her but the guy never stopped.

We are the smartest people on the tour. This usually happens on every tour. They start with their jobs and what they own and quickly talk about life lessons and yes, politics.

@Nigel . . . that's why I use my whole hand when pointing now.

Me, too, Stan;);)

Mostly, all the different people just make for interesting stories. One story comes from our tour in Italy with a "recovering" alcoholic. While most of us were outside watching the dog find truffles, this tour member was inside drinking the wine at his table. We entered the building earlier than others and found him trying to find a place to hide the empty bottle. Then he took a bottle from our table to replace the one he had finished off, leaving us a bottle short. Sad.

For me, the success of a tour is usually dependent on how well the guide is able to work with all the different personalities in a positive way.

I was on a tour in Turkey where one tour member who was a grump complained that I was always smiling. Had to be one of the strangest questions ever. LOL!!!

He seemed to take it personally that I was not unhappy but I never figured out why. But we didn't let his "grumpy" style effect the rest of us.

Nigel, good one.......

Steveh3011, you had me laughing at every one of your stories (or at least shaking my head at some of them)! Thanks for the comic relief.

Solo travel may prevent dealing with difficult people but independent travel is no sure defense against it, if you join up with friends. We have had experiences with one in particular, who likes to show off his knowledge to guides. An example: we were in a small town in the Basque region of Spain, taking a walking tour offered through the TI office. The guide referred to the Reconquista, to which our friend rejoined, “that’s when you regained your freedom.” The expression on the guide’s face was priceless.

Haha, Rebecca!
I think my answer would have been “ yes, everyday at 6AM and twice at night.”

On one of our RS tours a man named George had to be the first on the bus, the front of any line, the first in the best spot for taking a photo, the first on elevator s and positioned to be the first that required everyone to go around him, and so on. One male tour member confronted him after being shoved out of the way, and he was a bit better going forward. He also left the daily activity and did his own thing after being confronted.
One guy came up with a Seinfeld nickname for him, George can’t stand ya! Everyone found him extremely obnoxious.

When we were standing in line as a group to get into Westminster Abbey, this woman asked me VERY loudly, "So have you and your husband been ...

I can be quick-witted sometimes, so my (warped?) sense of humor would have replied (and in the same loud voice) ... Me too! and your wife (replacing husband with wife) was great! ...

One guy came up with a Seinfeld nickname for him, George can’t stand ya!

Mr Heyman, the high school gym teacher ... another great episode, but aren't they all?

OMG. Betcha some tour guides could write some pretty entertaining exposés!

Rosalyn, I see you encountered "The Know-It-All", one of the most annoying types of all. LOL!

Diane, good answer!
LOL! I see you discovered another type on your tour....."The Me First".
Glad to hear he finally got the message.

DQ, good one!

Kathy, yes, i think the tour guides should write a book about their experiences with tour members.....but the chapter about my tour would be rated X.

I’m not one to ignore arrogance, grumps or know it alls.

If I found a tour participant to be the know it all and/or pushing anyone so they could be first I’d loudly ask them, “Does it hurt?”

When he or she asked “Does what hurt?”

“Your delusions of adequacy.”

New Yorker cartoon I saw today.
Weary traveler dragging a roller board walks past one of those carry-on sizers at the airport. Sign reads, "Your sense of entitlement must fit inside this box."

I just finished a tour where I almost left because of the tour director. She wasn't very good. The hotels were below the usual standards.

I learned on this trip that multi-day group tours are not for me anymore. I like to be in control of what I do, where I stay, what I see, etc. I don't need 6:00 wake up calls or sometimes earlier. I will continue to take one day tours as I find them enjoyable.

I had another tour booked in the fall with the same company but I canceled.

Solo travel may prevent dealing with difficult people but independent travel is no sure defense against it

I would agree, we have seen some things in 22 years and at least as many trips. "It's a small world" seems to apply because we would run into the same people in town after town, and witness behavior from unintentionally crass, to outright rude.

The last experience? We were in Sicily recently having dinner at a small family place, only two tables outdoors, a few more inside. A group of two couples, friends, sat down, American, and one gal was clearly in charge....very loud. The wife of the owner, who waited tables, showed up, the leader exercised her best Italian, which was a few horribly pronounced Italian words, with a liberal sprinkling of French words, and English, the waiter spoke perfectly fine English of course, but the leader fearlessly soldiered on. The first thing they asked for was salt and pepper, and olive oil; drinks were a bit of an issue since leaders hubby drank only American Bourbon, the other guy was more flexible, trying to work out some mixed drink. Ordering food, Leader, explained the menu, horribly wrong, ingredients, meats, everything. Of course leader was also one of these people that have to talk to everyone, she grilled the waiter on her family, how old kids were, if they were going to have more, told everyone about her own family and grandkids (even the stupid one)....this went on for the hour or so we ate. We of course just took in the show, wandered off chuckling.

The next night it was rainy, with covid, that meant finding a place with reduced indoor tables, but we grabbed one of the last tables at a nice place, bit upscale. We were settling down to a pleasant meal...when, you guessed it, leader and her pack showed up. Much of the same as the previous night, except the wife of the other couple had left her Vaccine card at the hotel...so out in the rain to get it, returns, shows a QR code, the people at the desk shake their heads..."but they told us we needed this" was her response, I recognized it as the EUDPLF QR code, worthless, So she digs in her purse and pulls out 3 CDC cards, all laminated, explaining that she has had lots of vaccines...her husband nearby nodded his head, "she's had three"; wasn't sure if that meant three courses, or one and the booster, and not sure why three cards? The staff just looked at each other and waved her to the table. It also happened to be Leaders hubby's birthday (I won't say how many, but they looked "old" ,I'm 60 myself, but his was a good number of years less) so before he showed up, she tried to arrange some type of special dessert. Of course the whole meal, her voice just boomed in that little restaurant, the looks on other diners faces were priceless. When dessert came around, leader convinced them to bring out a dessert with a candle on it, which on arrival she started a loud round of happy birthday, a bit miffed after a line or so that the rest of the place did not join in, but gracefully finished it out herself. My wife and I took solace in an excellent meal, with a less than ideal atmosphere.

We flew to Naples the next day, and spent 4 days in Sorrento peeking around corners for fear of a repeat performance.

Rebecca, my answer would have been "how can you be so ill-mannered as to think that is any of your business?" and walk away.

Cala, good answer! I wish I had said that!!!

My favorite French term: "L'esprit de l'escalier" - the spirit of the staircase: a witty rejoinder that comes to you too late.

Not a tour, but just today I returned from Dublin on a 7 hour every seat filled daytime flight. Two guys in their 30's were sitting directly behind me. One of them who has a very distinctive voice must have talked nonstop for no less than 5 hours of flight time. Luckily the plane noise drowned out specific words (and it probably helped that one of my hearing aids wasn't working) but you couldn't miss the voice. I'm really mild-mannered but couldn't help but find it annoying. Can't imagine what it would be like touring with him!

Steve, well done, sir.

When on a tour I try to be as incognito and unnoticed as possible. That may annoy some people.

Yes, there is always the expert who likes to showcase their vast wealth of knowledge and correct the tour guide. That's probably my favorite. Close Talker my least, followed by The Bullhorn, a person with a loud voice that pierces the brain like a dagger, even in their "normal" voice. The Leader is a classic.

Paul, you should write for a living. Your post was worth the price of admission. I've got a few good "Americans in Europe" stories for another day.

We had an irritating experience with The Show-off. On out first ever cruise we went to afternoon high tea and were sat with another couple. They proceeded to regale us with their wealth (owned a ranch in Ecuador, owned a giant house, owned everything!). All we thought was if you're so wealthy why are you on a bog standard Caribbean itinerary with freaking Carnival.

And The Voice that Carries. Once you hear it you can't tune it out. We were on a flight where a Canadian guy kept telling the woman beside him how superior we are. I think she was American, and crazily I think this was his idea of hitting on her. Actually this kind of big voice is often encountered.

But you know there are the others... And maybe it's better to remember them instead of focusing on the jerks. :)

The post above reminded me of a wonderful couple we met on a Royal Olympic "budget" cruise of the Greek Islands. They were assigned to our dinner table and over time I began to realize that they were probably in a VERY different financial place then just about anyone else on the cruise. (They slipped when we were having a drink one night.. they lived in the same building as Oprah in Chicago. They didn't tell me that but I had spent a lot of time in Chicago, I knew the building :) )

They obviously picked this cruise because it was more foucsed on "sights" than "cruise" which is why I picked it. I didn't want drinks by the pool but lots of ruins! (If you cruised this line before it went out of business it was not a luxury line. But it was a GREAT way to see a lot of sights!)

I've never been on a multi-day group tour or cruise, but I just had this memory I posted on FB 3 years ago pop up:

So, so, so, so glad we opted to do a land based Galápagos visit,
instead of a cruise. Sat near two tables full of GOBs and GOGs from a
cruise tonight. They were drunk, loud, obnoxious, and
racist. So glad we could glare, ask for the cheque, and leave instead
of being trapped in close quarters with them for a week or more.

Thought we might end up doing cruises when we’re too old to travel on
our own, but that’s a big HELL NO.

I can't imagine being trapped on a tour with people like that. (My husband and I are both Indigenous (but it's not immediately obvious from looking at us--especially me) and have both worked in anti-racism education.)

My family always said “you meet the jerks first; dig deeper into the crowd…” Although there were only very nice people on my tour, as I said.

"But you know there are the others... And maybe it's better to remember them instead of focusing on the jerks."
Carol, you're so right.

All the other people on the tours I've been on have been interesting and fun, with good manners. We have fond memories of our tours, and my husband and I keep in touch with some of our former tour mates.

@Vandrabrud…well said.

I actually also wondered if the OP was collecting stories for some kind of travel article.

One post, a week ago, no response.

It was still an interesting discussion.

@Pam, I got zapped.

Just now catching up on this thread -- wow, what tales !!!!!

And yes Paul, you had me cringing wondering what was around the corner, if you were going to run into those awful people again !!!!

There was one guy on the Turkey tour who asked questions ALL the time. Nothing at all wrong with asking questions except this guy liked to dig down to the extreme depths to make sure he was understanding the guides answers. So, a question was asked at least three times in a different way. He drove us all crazy. You know, “ asked and answered”! I finally asked him if he was an attorney? Yep! Mystery solved! He wasn’t a bad guy. He grew on all of us by the end of the tour.

I’ve really enjoyed this thread. A nice diversion from worrying about Covid testing 😊

My recent travels have been solo, independent. Coming from a pack of introverts, it's not surprising. I'm going on my first 2 RS tours in a couple of weeks. This thread has been a handy (and funny and silly) guide to all the things I shouldn't do so as not to be "that person."

Perhaps I'll be the one for whom a new title is coined. I'd like it to be the "observer" or some such unobtrusive thing. My goal (and personality stretch) will be not to be coined the more extreme "loner." And my hope will be to meet some interesting and even (ahem) memorable people. Maybe, for fun and as a mechanism to handle the personality types, I will mentally tally which ones I meet on my tour.

The comment that has stuck with me the most and which I will try to remember .... "“you meet the jerks first; dig deeper into the crowd…”

On my last Rick Steves Tour I had a couple at the final dinner tell me that they thought I was a "Loner". I have been on 5 tours and never had a problem socializing even though I am an introvert. Get to know your fellow travelers before labeling them, you might be surprised how wrong you are. I am a very independent, well traveled solo woman.

Thanks, Kathleen, it's good to hear the tour perspective from an introvert. I always enjoy socializing during my independent travels and have met the most interesting and memorable (in a good way) people from around the world. In fact, they are among the most lasting memories, when sights may have faded. My high school friend with whom I'm traveling is the social extrovert and we have always done well together in groups.

Totally agree with Kathleen. On our first RS tour meet and greet, there were two couples (not together or friends) who monopolized the meeting and seemed to be total know-it-alls; we were dreading having to be on a tour with them for 2 weeks. We tended to avoid them at first, but gradually came to realize that they were both really nice couples. Once we got to know them better, half way through the tour, we actually went out of our way to eat with them at group dinners and really enjoyed their company. I like to say give people a chance, I think maybe they were just nervous about being in a group situation???? and perhaps it was the only way that they thought that they could fit in (even if they didn't realize it was a bit much!)

Forgot to say, we are going next week on another RS tour! RS Southern England, I can't wait to meet all the interesting people on our tour!!

As I was thinking about this I remembered another person on a turkey tour who may go down in my book as the most interesting man I’ve ever met. We got to a mosque and he led the call for prayer. We got on a ferry to go between point a and B and the next thing you know this man is being thrown into the air by the local soccer fans. we lost him again in Ephesus , the guide asked him where he had gone and he looked at him and said I was imagining. Everywhere we went he was an adventure. He really was the living example of Rick Steves getting out and meeting people philosophy. he never ever met a stranger. When we told his wife the soccer fans were throwing him up in the air, she just sighed and smiled as if this was a normal occurrence

I concur with the general theme here that 1) RS groups tend to be pretty good, 2) Even with the "no grumps" policy, there are bound to be a few people with whom you don't hit it off, 3) Avoid those people and, if you're rooming with them, remember that it won't be forever.

BUT, I just wanted to add--in case the OP is still lurking or somebody else has been in a similar situation: If you find yourself in a situation where you feel threatened or harassed or otherwise highly uncomfortable by a fellow tour member, DO talk to your guide. Depending on the situation, what they can do may be limited, but there's a difference between a healthy sense of "I'll roll with it, this is part of the adventure and somebody I'll tell this story and laugh" and enduring repeated inappropriate behavior.

This might all sound very "well, duh," but for younger travelers, less experienced travelers, solo travelers, etc., anyone who might feel vulnerable or not quite that experienced in advocating for themselves, I wanted to put it out there.

Caroline

I just got back from the RS Best of Istanbul and Best of Turkey tours. We had the nicest group of people on both tours. Definitely no grumps. And even a few tour members with whom I may stay in touch.

On the Turkey tour we had 5 young ladies in their 20s and very early 30s. 2 cousins, the others unrelated. They were delightful! Attentive. Showed interest in us "older folks." And very polite and respectful. All very directed and successful in their studies and fields. And of course delighted that they weren't the only young person on the tour.

We had one introvert who made me look like a social butterfly. Just once, he excused himself from group activities to recharge. And was honestly a pleasant personality in the group.

I found the mix of group activities and free time perfect for me and enjoyed getting to know all the well traveled tour members.

I imagine it contributed to the mix of the group that we were in Turkey, an unlikely tour for most novice travelers. Even the younger set had traveled previously, some at length with their families.

Never really ran into anybody like that. If we did run into those type of people, we would just stay away from them as much as possible. Tour groups by their nature are a diverse group so you got to be able to get along.

As for asking someone to leave a group, probably that is going to require either a criminal act or harassment that causes folks to fear for their well being. The fact that you might not care for someone doesn't really count.

I gotta wonder just how much power a guide has to kick someone off a tour!

@Ed Have always wondered about the legal ramifications of this "No Grumps" pledge...

We have only gone on three tours and usually travel independently.
The first night of one tour , no matter who we met, the people were bigoted, brought up religion, politics and made comments that told us we had nothing in common. They looked at us like we were from Mars when we said where we lived. A huge geographical/regional / cultural difference! We wondered how we’d make it through the tour.
We saw two women on the other side of the room who were separate from the others, went over to meet them, had a great time with them, laughed a lot and found out that the others were all together and avoided spending any time with them. A tour company should not let travelers be put in such a situation where the majority of participants are their “own group.”

"Drive-by posters", who drop in and put up a preposterous post and are never seen again, are not helpful. It is additionally suspicious when OP DBP has posted EXACTLY 1 post, which is this one.

Never mind about the OP, this has been an enjoyable thread…

"Drive-by posters", who drop in and put up a preposterous post and are never seen again, are not helpful."

I put a post on here when the thread first got started, which I stand by what I said about a couple of people on our tour.
This thread has been edited, and my post was removed.

People shouldn't bring up "hot button" topics on a tour. Politics and religion are just two of the topics that few people see exactly eye-to-eye on.
We met wonderful, interesting people on our tours, and keep in touch with several to this day.
No one should be a grump on their tour, and the "No Grumps" document you sign when you sign up for a Rick Steves tour can be enforced, I've been told by an attorney who was on our tour.

This thread may shed some light on the subject: https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/general-europe/for-rs-alumni-what-does-the-quot-no-grumps-quot-policy-on-tours-mean. Frank II’s posting in the thread are very spot on.

Day tours are a good compromise. As a teacher and coach I like making my own decisions and avoid the herd mentality.

Big Mike, I agree. Day tours and 3-day tours are good to blend into your own itinerary you make for yourself.

From the link that Ed gave, from the posting by Frank II:
"I've also had people come on my tours without having a clue where we were going. Oh, they knew the start and finish cities but as for everything else, no idea. Contrary to what RS thinks, these were the hardest passengers to deal with because they wouldn't constantly ask what there was to do. On the flip side, any passenger that had done their research and knew what they wanted to see or do on their free time was a delight. I would help to point them in the right direction and knew they'd come back with a story to tell."

I don't understand people who won't do their own research before a tour or a trip. Researching is half the fun.

We are glad to help people who come to this forum and ask "What is there to do in London?" but honestly, wouldn't you read a guidebook if you were really going to a place?
I realize for many, this IS their research for their trip, coming here to the forum and asking questions. And that's great; a great starting point. I guess I'm just amazed at how few people read guidebooks these days, or books in general.

I guess I'm just amazed at how few people read guidebooks these days,
or books in general.

DITTO! Really basic research skills seem to be lacking--and not just in young people--even though we all have computers in our pockets. The basic information of what makes a place significant and what there is to see does not really go out of date. People sometimes ask what there is to see/do in a really famous place, and I find that astounding. Of course go online for hotels, restaurants, bus/train schedules, but yes, peruse a guide book to figure out what you want to see.

I simply can't imagine any issue that could not be resolved and would be so great that it would cause me to leave the tour.

"Really basic research skills seem to be lacking--and not just in young people--even though we all have computers in our pockets. The basic information of what makes a place significant and what there is to see does not really go out of date."

Valadelphia, I agree. To me, there are few things more enjoyable than spending several hours in a comfy chair, with a hot cup of tea and a guidebook.

I realize for many, this IS their research for their trip, coming here to the forum and asking questions.

Some say "There are no stupid questions". Actually a LOT of questions are COMPLETELY IDIOTIC.

Like "Will this be on the test?" or asking the same question over and over. Or asking a very obvious question.

Really the best question is the one you ask AFTER you have done a LITTLE research. If you are going to Milan (which we are), it's really important to read thru the RS Italy book in the Milan section. Lot of good stuff there.

Good questions fill in the blanks. But asking "What is there to do in Milan?" is not a good question, because it shows a lazy traveler.

I gotta wonder just how much power a guide has to kick someone off a tour!

None. That call comes from the tour office. The "guide" reports the problem and usually, if it's serious, someone from the office will call the problem person to discuss the situation and perhaps give a warning.

Tour companies don't screen people by religious beliefs, political beliefs, or even geographical areas. It's first come, first serve. But likes usually find each other.

I recently took what I believe is my last group tour. I wasn't happy. I realized I would have preferred to make my own arrangements and include one day tours in my plans. This way I can stay where I want, eat where I want, do what I want, and on my own time line.

There is nothing wrong with group tours. They're just not for everyone.

One last note, if you are on a tour and treated badly by another passenger, make sure your "guide" knows about it. Abuse by one passenger to another should never be tolerated.

As for the "no grumps" policy, that's more off something they try to promote to keep people from complaining. It's like the carry on bag policy only. It's not really enforced but most people like to follow the rules so they follow those rules.

Can you kick an unhappy, grumpy like person off a tour? If he is not disrupting the tour, or annoying numerous passengers, then the answer is no. You can't force someone to be happy and enjoy themselves.

Frank, your post is pretty much my attitude nowadays, too. I may still do another RS group tour, but day tours seems like a preferable middle ground approach.

“The loneliest place in the world is being “alone” in the middle of a group that you just don’t mesh with.”

So very true, and well said douglas.

Was reading comments from an extreme germaphobe on another forum and it reinforced yet again while I’ll almost certainly never do a group tour. Someone who isn’t a ‘grump’ but definitely annoys everyone around with every horror story about swimming pools, hotel bathrooms or your likelihood of catching a rare disease by daring to touch the hotel remote.

Question? Is it time to end this troll's post that has morphed from a possibly valid question to an entirely different topic (Why I won't do group tours......) May be let this one RIP or start an entirely new thread to discuss the pros and cons of group tours?