TOTALLY relate to this topic!!! We have been married over 50 years...........so, this topic (as well as many other topics) has obviously (for the most part) "sorted itself out" for us. But, there was definitely a learning curve :)
In our early travel years (then car trips), we would be getting ready to pull out, and my husband would say something like, "ooops, I forgot the (such and such)." Item retrieved, then repeat, repeat. This became more challenging when we HAD to make a plane departure.
..........so fast forward a few years later, and I appointed myself the "packer" or the "suitcase Nazi." Problem solved!
Weeks (sometimes even a month or more for more challenging destinations) before a trip, I will mention certain activities (like swimming or hikes) to discuss the "does your old swimsuit still work?" or "what shoes would you want to wear for xyz?" If we would need nicer clothing, what jacket/tie would you prefer (always a tie that can "hide" spills). That morphs into travel pants/shirts/hats (most of which, at this stage, are all in good shape, etc.)....some new items might be needed, and we then start the shopping process....but I start a pile of what would work (with the opportunity for him to have input). Ditto for toiletries (and I will usually shop for travel-size of whatever he uses, as well as making sure we have sunscreen, etc....that would be a separate little pile.
To avoid the "morning of" Hell, for BOTH OF US, I have the last-minute checklist, and I cross-off items on the list, as they go into the luggage or the carry-on bags.........toothbrush, Rxs, over-the-counters, extra glasses, etc. I have little reminders like: "change your money clip"...his favorite one has a tiny little knife thing, and he would not want that donated to the TSA pile. We do the "neck wallet packing" the night prior with passports and the such.
We also have similar lists for prepping the house/yard, etc. as well as mail/newspaper/emergency contacts, etc.
It just works.
That said, my husband is the tech guy: Gets all the phones, chargers, cameras, etc. ready. And, bless his heart, he proactively carries anything that is heavy and also puts everything into the overhead bin on planes. He is generally an easy traveler, but I do all I can to make sure he will be comfortable...which seats on the plane, extra pillows at hotels, non-smoking rooms, etc. I also deep-dive into hotels, activities, weather, etc. Have airport curb-side luggage check tip, taxi money pre-sorted. I handle all the bookings, etc. after running choices/preferences by him.
The under-the-seat tote bags, that becomes my department.......he's "not allowed" SAID GENTLY to dig thru those. If he needs something, he tells me, and I will magically retrieve it or I will say, it is "it is in the pink zipper bag (within the tote)" or the lime green one, etc...........and then I am the one who puts the item back where it belongs. We use large Orvis totes, and use little zip bags within those. Itinerary and papers we might need are in a folder in chronological order...then receipts are added along the way.
To some that may say it sounds controlling............it's not.............IT WORKS. And, also, I do not mess with the camera, phone or computer equipment, cords, etc.
On the plane traveling home, he will download (on to a netbook type device) all the photos and begin sorting.
I also know he absolutely "has to have" a map of each location, and he will follow along on his map when we are traveling (even if on a bus tour). The man "just has to know where he is" at any point in time. Then when we we return, he marks up a small map of where we have been. I will remember the names of all the cities/sites, but he needs the written prompts for some of it.
Opposites do attract. It's a matter of figuring out how to work with and around strengths and weaknesses...........and it is always a work in progress.
