Is 16 too young to go to Europe with one friend?

There is already a thread about this topic from a few weeks back. The top left of this page there is a search box- you should be able to find it from there.

Only you can judge. But sending her off to college somewhere in the US for several years will likely present far greater temptations and dangers than sending her to Europe for a couple of weeks.

If she goes, encourage a structured trip with reservations so that there is an element of responsibility/accomplishment; get accommodations with Internet access so she can contact you easily if she needs advice, etc. Review the sort of common sense safety stuff you'd discuss with her if she were going off to study in an American city (staying together, avoiding dark alleys at 1 a.m., etc.) And let her know how happy you are that she has this opportunity, and that you're certain her trip will be safe and successful because of the terrific person she is.

The post Michael refers to is "17 too young to solo in Europe?" and was last posted to on 1/2/09. Scroll down through this section to find it (sorry, I'm not able to post the link)

Thanks for your comments, everybody. I did find the site, and just read it all! Of course, my daughter would be going with one friend, but she is a year younger, so that's my concern. If anyone has any other opinions I am open to them all. Great website, this!Also, I like the idea of structured bookings.

Many, years ago when I went to Europe as a teenager, although at 19, my dad equipped me emergency addresses. We had some family in the UK, but he wanted to find people in the countries where I planned to travel. I actually used the one in Greece. He found friends in our town who had family or friends or he searched out business colleagues. He wrote to the Europeans and asked if they would mind being a contact. I am sure that this helped with my parents peace of mind. I think that even in today's mobile phone, internet world, I would still do this. Ask around at church, her teachers, I bet you can find someone in each of the countries. Maybe the friends parents have connections you can call on. Pam

As Russ said, only YOU can judge her maturity and abilities. Age really makes no difference.

Don't let her go if you have the slightest doubts in ANY area. Travel can be dangerous and some young people have the attitude that "nothing can happen to me." Sometimes it does.

Although my wife and I frequently stay in hostels, I would NOT permit my children to stay in that environment. Too many young people. Some may be into drugs. Consider the possibility.

This is a hard one!
I read on this forum that drinking is legal in Europe for kids 17! She is a bright person, but you still should talk to her about drinking since it's legal for a 17 year old! If she does go, please buy her a money belt. Many pick pockets. I had on a neck pouch in Milan Italy, and it was bulging through my clothes, and a teen aged girl tried to get to it! The money belt is flatter and does not show. Also please warn her about kids her own age! These pick pocketers were two beautiful young girls. I was lucky they didn't take anything. I felt her hand up my shirt when I was looking at a map!! I was standing at a newspaper stand with a fair amount of people around.
After this experience, I know bad things can happen to anyone, but as an adult, I knew not to trust anyone! Personally, I would be scared to death to have a young daughter go to Europe alone, even with another bright friend! I think one adult should travel with them.
Also, a person who is book smart, may not be street smart yet!

I would say no.
She is still too young.
She is not even able to speak any languages( Japanese will not help).
She is unlikely to have all the money needed and I would not top her off.

She can wait till she is 18 like most kids do.

Exception would be if she chose to attend a langauge course or cultural exchange program, set in one place.

Would you let her travel all over the United States this summer on her own..?? Do you figure that only bad people who would take advantage of young underage girls live only in the States??

I am sorry, if she is so mature they she will understand she should wait at least one more year.

Frankly its almost funny.

When I was 16/17, I was very independent and smart. I worked, I made my own money, and I started college at 17. I also had the added advantage of speaking some French and German and being familiar with European travel- and having relatives there. I would not have been ok at that age unless I was going straight to stay with my relatives.

Here's the link to the prior discussion mentioned by Michael and Nancy:http://www.ricksteves.com/graffiti/helpline/index.cfm/rurl/topic/24716/17-too-young-to-solo-in-europe.html

Spliz,
Have you had your daughter ready all these responses as well as the link Kent put up. I'm getting nervous for your daughter as I read these responses. What if??? I'm 67 and well traveled but I still don't know if I would travel alone unless I had contacts in the cities I know or could speak the language. Jacquie Steves' is a different story as she had contacts all over Europe and probably every city she visited. She even commented in her blogs that she did come across some situations in her travels. I hope you and your daughter come to the conclusion that it would be best to wait - unless she can find an adult to travel with the two girls.

Thank you to EVERYONE who replied. ALL of the information given is being considered, by me. I've cut Spain out of consideration, and have told her that she has to find at least one more traveling mate. Dang it, parenting is hard. She is so independent, and of course is using the "I will have graduated high school, will be off to college in Sept, and I'm paying for it myself" angle. How I will try to talk her into waiting a year is beyond me. I'll be considering this for a good two weeks, and I really appreciate all the feedback. I DID travel across the states with a group of astronomers when I was 17, but they were crazy hippies AND that was ages ago. It worked out okay, but I was with a group (crazy notwithstanding). I wish she would consider a group.

My kids are well past the teenage years, but the bottom line for me would be that she is not of legal age. You are still responsible for her. Just because she will be in college doesn't make her an adult. YOU have to be the adult (and yes, sometimes it's hard).

Spliz - My daughter went with friends when she was 17 (and they were all 18). She did not have any problems leaving the U.S. or entering Europe without an adult. One thing I posted on the other thread (about the young girl who wanted to go to Europe alone) is that my daughter felt there was a definite gap between her and her friends, who were all recent high school graduates, and the rest of the hostel crowd. These people were older, not that much older age-wise, but they were years older in the sense that they had been on their own, in college or whatever for a bit. She said that she wished they had actually gone the next year when they too would have had some college/living away from home experience - they would have had more in common.

Some comments on your daughter's proposed itinerary - my daughter DID NOT like Amsterdam. She found the open drugs in hostels, and the more than open stares/comments from men when they were walking back to their hostel (yes, it was in the red-light district) pretty "creepy". Again, with a few years of college behind her now, I don't think it would bother her quite as much. Glad you've cut Spain as though it is a great place to visit (I went when I was 19), the girls would get LOTS of attention from Spanish men and they may not have the experience they need yet to know how to handle it. In France they need to realize that Paris is a "big city" and that they should not expect warm and fuzzy helpfulness from locals. No knocking France here, just my feeling that even experienced adult travelers sometimes perceive the city formality as rudeness.

Again, some of the things I've mentioned above are more easily understood or dealt with when you are a little older than fresh out of high school - not saying that she CAN'T handle it, just she needs to be prepared. Good luck with helping your daughter prepare or convincing her to postpone her trip.

I can't say thank you enough to everyone who has responded. I'm a single parent and have made many big decisions on my own over the years, and my kids have turned out very well, but this decision is one that I am turning to my friends and family for different considerations. OF course, the answers are split, and I know it all comes down to me, so I'm sorry if I sound pathetic. But, I am grateful at this point for the internet, and this site. My daughter is reading all of these responses, and the ones on the other site (is 17 too young?) My daughter's friend is already 18. My daughter also is now saying that she will learn some French between now and the summer, and although this may sound ludicrous, she is an extremely fast learner and would definitely be able to communicate basic things, and ideas. I am also going to start looking for recommended, safe families, where they could visit, or stay a few nights. She is a classical pianist, so maybe playing Debussy would help pay her way in a nice French family's home....? just brainstorming here :)Also, my passport is ready.

Let your daughter get more travel experience on short trips within the States. Then in a year or two, she will be ready for a trip to Europe with a group of friends and will enjoy it much more. I agree with the other poster about the legal issues involved. Just because she is "independent" does not make her ready to go to Europe with a friend, especially if they want to stay in hostels. You're her Mom, not her friend, and need to stand firm that the trip should be postponed until another summer.

At best, the experienced travelers who have responded to your question have lots of reservations about such a plan. It really doesn't matter that your daughter is independent or gifted - she is not experienced in travel overseas. Ideally this experience would by gained through travel with a parent. If that isn't possible, she should wait until she is older.

Its so hard having daughters isnt it? This is such a tough question, but you need to go with your gut.(as a mom we do this all the time) She probably wont be thrilled with you if you say no, but that's okay. My first trip to Europe with my best friend was when I was 20, and she 26. She had been before with a friend, and had some experience with hotels, hostels, being harassed by men etc. We still ended up in some sticky situations. If it were one of my daughters, I think I would say no. So many things can happen so far away, and there would be nothing you could do about it.

I first started traveling without my parents when I was almost 20 years old, but it was 4 of us, 2 girls and 2 boys. We were very good kids, even if we were drinking a lot at the time, but never crossed the limit in anything.
I don't have any kids, but I believe 17 y.o is to young to travel just with a girl.
However I've been aware of what's going on around me since I was very young, which I consider being very important.

I'm going to have to go with she is probably too young. One thing it consider is some hostels do not let anyboby under 18 stay there. When I was 17 I went to Europe with an organized group and had a blast, but I never could have done it alone. I believe I was mature for a 17 year old but you can only be so mature and street smart at that age. You grow up a lot during your first year in college and if she waits a year she will have a blast next summer. I am currently a women in college and you may not want to admit it but if your daughter is somewhere where she is legal to drink she probably will (Amsterdam is Europe's sin-city), no matter how old or mature she think she acts.

I wish you the best of luck in your decesion and as she is only 16/17 you are in charge even though she is going to college.

Even though your daughter may be independent I would not recommend you let her go alone. I'm in my late 20's and have been to Europe 3 times. Even though I have felt safe most places, I have always had my husband with me. If you aren't careful it's easy for people to take advantage of you...especially 2 young girls going alone. We have bumped into many agressive vendors on the street before which may be hard for 2 young girls to deal with...one in paris grabbed my husbands arm when we were walking away and I had to push him away from us.

I know it might not be the "cool" thing to do but is it possible for you to go with your daughter? I know my mom would go on some trips with my friends and I when we were young and we never minded and it made her feel better to know we were ok. You don't necessarily need to hang out with them the whole time but might be an option...especially if they're going to be traveling to so many countries and probably taking the train most places.

Let me know if you have any other questions or want me to give your daughter tips on anything if she does end up going.

Good luck with your decision...being a mom is hard sometimes!

Does this discussion remind anyone of the last discussion we had with a Mom (her name was Linda) who asked if we thought it acceptable for her to allow her 15 yo daughter the freedom to "wander around' on her own in Paris, while the family was staying there. She indicated that her daughter would have limits placed on her (such as time of day, places she could go, etc)...seems like we have all mellowed somewhat...the reaction to this posting is far less emotional...I'm going to side with the "she's too young" side on this one. I was on the other side of the discussion in the previously cited example, June 2008. I traveled all over Europe in a far safer time between the ages of 19 and 21 (mostly hitch-hiking), and I sent my 22 yo with his 20 yo brother to Europe with two open jaw tickets (into Amsterdam, out of Barcelona) with $1500 each and a map of Europe. But I wouldn't bet my 16 yo daughter's life on her judgement or luck for a trip to Europe (or even a trip to the E. Coast of the US)with only another young friend.

NO!!!! If I had a 16 year old, I would not let her travel at that age (a high school graduation trip.............???? Maybe). If anything happens, you are so far away.

Why not have her plan a trip closer to home? The first trip I planned without my parents was a roadtrip to Colorado at 18. That in itself was more than enough adventure for me at the time. Now I'm 23 and planning a month in Europe, and I'm overwhelmed with all the planning.

Not sure where you are from but how about a roadtrip (don't know if she can legally drive in your state). I guess there might be Amtrak options where you are at too. Make her pick the hotles, the activities, and the transportation all by herself. There's no point in her doing an alone trip to Europe if her mom is planning it, you might as well go along with her if you do that!

"I would not let her travel at that age (a high school graduation trip.............???? Maybe)"

Mark, this does sound like a HS graduation trip, just that she obviously skipped a grade. So do you go with years-age or school-age when thinking about when your child should be allowed to do something?

Do you know about the Natalee Holloway case? She was a very gifted girl that vanished from her graduation trip in Aruba. She was with a big group, and this horrible thing still happened.
http://www.allpointsbulletin.org/Natalee_Holloway.html

Many people think it wont happen to them, but it could! Or maybe it wont. But why take chances? 16 is still so very young, and Natalee was even 18! Natalee was drinking however, but this could happen to good girls too!

This might be a better trip to do after her first year of college is under her belt.

Is she street smart? If you don't live in a major city with public transportation chances are she is not street smart. 16 year olds in NY are very differnt that 16 yr olds from Iowa.

Is there a work study or study abroad program she could do?

When I was in my 20's I got very sick in Italy, ended up with blood poisening with a 104.7 fever being cared for by 2 doctors... very scary for an adult, independant woman. Not sure how a girl would handle it. It changed my perspective on traveling for sure!

If she were my daughter I would go along with her- make it a family trip and let her and her friend go off on their advetures during the day and return to you at night.

I just read all the posts about traveling in Europe and wondered if anyone could weigh in on this scenario? My 16 yr. old daughter would like to go to Italy in September for 9 days with her high school. There are 15 students going with 4 chaperones. They are going to the town where her Italian teacher grew up and each student will stay with a host family. We hosted a student in Sept/2008 from that same town and it was a great experience. Now that it is time to make the decision for her to go my husband is quite apprehensive about letting her go. He is concerned about saftey issues, supervision at night.etc. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Mary

Spliz,
I would not allow my daughter to go at 16 with another friend but that is my opinion and you will have to make that decision yourself. When my daughter graduated from college my wife and I took her to Belgium, France and Switzerland for her graduation present. Maybe you can suggest that she wait (I know, patience for young people is rare) and continue to save money and after graduating from college she could plan a nice long trip to Europe before getting into the working world. Maybe you could start saving to purchase her plane ticket as an incentive to wait. For a 16 year old however, I would just have too many concerns.

Mary, yours is a different situation and I certainly understand your husbands concerns. I would have the same but I would definitely give it strong consideration. Since it is with a fairly large group where there will be chaperones and the young people will be staying in the homes of local residents which I assume would be families that would be personally known to the teacher or her friends I think I would be o.k. with it. Again, it is a decision that only you and your husband can make.

This reply is to Mary, and it's from Spliz, the original poster. My reply (my opinion) to your answer is very much, "yes". That, of course, is that based on what you know of your daughter, she is intelligent and uses common sense. That many chaperones, with a school group, would be my ultimate dream, for my child. My case is different, because my daughter is unlike my other children, and most teens, and in fact I should have advanced her a couple of grades long ago, but I didn't. So, she has been suffering the extreme boredom of school for years, and to tell her to wait now to do something that she has "earned" is risky biz. She played the game and got herself through school and into college with no pregnancy, drugs, or crime. Most people from Europe say "let her go!!" Most Americans say "don't!" But in your case, I would say that that situation sounds ideal, where your child would have a memorable time, and you would feel more comfortable than if she were traveling alone. Good luck!!! in your decision :)

and p.s. thanks again to EVERYONE for your feedback and opinions!