If There Was an Airline Called "Rick Steves' Air"...

You could bring on your own wine and corkscrew and make friends. The seats would all would be 'second class'. There would be no cargo space because everyone has one carryon and a day pack. And, with your ticket,you would receive copies of all the
haberdashery posts!

All the flight crew would use phrases like "maximum thrills per mile" and "workaday" and "evocative" when doing the in-flight safety routine. The in-flight movie would be about something heady like art or history (and snooze worthy, because we all know Mr. Steves skips the movie and sleeps on the plane).

DUH! (smacking forehead) - Of course it's all 2nd class; God willing, the entire airplane is going the same speed...Excellent! "Maximum thrills..." Love It! Also love snoozing through the movie (hee-hee). Hey - maybe the now-vacant cargo hold can become a beer garden...Ya know, get up-close-and-personal with the locals in their 'workaday' element. I also think RSA might supply ETBD slippers - for those restroom trips 'down the hall'. And instead of a big bowl of nuts at the back of the cabin...there'd be carrots, tomatoes, cheese in servings of 100g, a tube of mustard, and of course all the orange juice you could drink!

It would only fly to a limited number of destinations. It's extremely devoted client base would only visit cities served by the airline. It would not advertise on regular television but produce TV shows about itself for PBS.

And for playing, I've sent you a copy of "Travel as a Political Act", which of course you'll find in your seatback pocket ;-) I'm guessing you haven't received the 7 other copies I've sent you...?!? Probably stuck in customs...

Before take-off, please download the safety instructions in our Podcast. No need for a live stewardess or steward. We hope you will enjoy landing at our brand new Rick Steves airport in Rothenburg, but for your next trip you might want to check out our other new airport in Cinque Terre. If flying to Paris, we now offer a shuttle bus directly from CDG to Rue Cler.

Rather than make passengers pay for their tickets, it would be funded by the taxpayers.

And just before landing, your flight attendants will come by with the cart selling tour packages, rail passes, and day packs, all duty free.

I don't know about this. The restroom lines would be twice as long because everyone would be washing their clothes in the sink. Picture all that hanging laundry spread around the plane. There'd be competition amongst passengers for the lightest packer. (Lee would win every time he flew.) Fights would break out between the roller bag faction and the backpack faction. Rumors would circulate that the guy in 5C asked where to cash travelers checks.

.....smoking a certain type of "herbal" cigarette would be permitted; even in the lavatory.

uh, and Eileen, surely Rick would be the pilot? Ouiiiiiiiii!

Rick will do appearances on local public tv pledge drives to subsidize the airline. "For the $1000 memeber I'll include a free issue of 'Mona Winks', and "Travel as a Political Act.'"

Don' forget: You walk across the tarmac with your bag in hand (or on back) and load it onto the plane yourself. Then as you board the plane, you must walk up a flight or two of steps to reach your seat.

If a choir strikes up practice while on the flight, we all have to get up to investigate. And we will all have to sign a pre-flight contract that states "We assume we will return."

Planes would only be half full so that there would be plenty of room for the passengers to spread out.

During the flight, instead of movies, you would have to share your planned (or unplanned) itenerary and have everyone critique it- all with good grace and good manners... remember you get to critique theirs, too.

Breakfast would be included but only some of the passengers would have an evening meal - half the dinners are included.

I don't know if Rick would pilot...that doesn't sound particularly 'footloose and fancy-free' to me...Besides, then there'd be no schnapps-tasting for him...Due to regulations, we 'might' have to partake in Special Brownies...;-)...washed down with MORE orange juice. And Funyuns. And Flamin' Hot Cheetos. And burritos. And Hot Pockets. And...man, I've got the MUNCHIES! I would really like to think that Riknics would bring clean clothes with them, and on the way home wouldn't care that they were dirty, but handwashing on the airplane WOULD provide a lot of desperately needed humidity into the air! And all Riknics know how to avoid bathroom lines when handwashing - just ask a local! They'll show you to the centuries-old village (or, airplane) clothes-washing basin. You can scrub elbow-to-elbow next to your temporary mom. Plastic dropcloths will be provided by RSA. (Standing in line to hand-wash in the lavatory is for those Fodorites or Lonely Planet peeps) I've figured out how to get to the SalzUrRadieschen Biergarten in the former cargo hold (BTW, each RSA airplane would have its own name for the biergarten, kinda like Southwest has different paint jobs for some of their airplanes): die Rodelbahn, and/or the salt mine slides (jumpsuit provided)!!! FUN!!! You can either hike back up, or take the funicular back to the cabin. For those who purchased knives in Toledo, perfumes in Paris, or olive oil in Sorrento there will be a baggage-storage counter onboard. Your guidebook has the details. There are just too many to point out, but how did I miss the obvious - "Planes would only be half full so that there would be plenty of room for the passengers to spread out." I love y'all!!!

Don't forget to bring good climbing shoes for walking the metal staircase rolled over to the plane because we're not using the jetway, we are coming Through The Back Door!

Rick will offer airpasses, as well as point to point tickets.

You could buy a carnet of tickets, which would always be cheaper to use and never expire!
Famously tasteless schneeballs would be tossed by those attempting to sleep and would end the language phrasebook lessons.

I just love the mental images produced by all of your contributions LOL!!!

And of course, our Civita Day bags--with a jacket rolled up inside--would be our pillows, all soft and cozy! PS: we love you Rick and ETBD!

In order to prevent a pelting of Mozart balls by the 'non-believers', the singing of "Do-Re-Mi" would be restricted to the Biergarten.

On the return flight, you will not only have to fill the customs form, but also a 3-page RS form, where you will be asked to rate the various guidebooks and audioguides, provide updates and corrections, and share your "best of" tips.

Oh... and there would be a white board (or something similar) - problably near the restroom- where you could write tips about packing light, creative extras to pack, "undiscovered backdoors" tipping tips, how to get to know the locals, etc. And the taxfree catalogue would only contain Rick Steves endorsed items (along with maybe a few "less than legal" little herb items).

And on ariving in Paris, everyone would say "merci' and "bonjour" and keep a low profile. But the totally best suggestion was: the plane would be half-ful. Loved it.

Just before each landing, the pilot would announce if it is locally appropriate to clap, or not, once the plane's wheels hit the tarmac.

LOL!

This sounds great! Where do I get a frequent flyer card? :)

Roy, it's easy: just "Like" Rick on Facebook, and you're automatically enrolled. And for every flight you take, you'll get $50 off your next flight.

The next step would be the RS Credit Card, from ChasCitiBarclay's, and for every post a mile would show up in your RS Frequent Flyer- make that RS Frequent Poster - account! Guess who would be smiling everytime you opened your wallet?!

Of course, the credit card would be 'chip and PIN'.

Each flight would have it's own embroidered patch, like the tour members get. AND temporary tattoos, for the 'temporary locals'.

Folks would whine that the flights are too high, the service is bad etc.. Honestly, why would poor Rick lend his name to this industry!

Hey, Carol - Just like his tours... No Grumps Allowed! *if you've managed to do some souvenir shopping, you can 'deep-store' your goodies at the baggage counter; I recommend the Hideaway Tote ;-)

Sounds like my kind of people... minus the whiners, of course. There's a good idea in there somewhere!

The cutlery would of course all be plastic, and fold up small to conserve space in those daypacks. My face hurts from laughing at all these great posts!