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I'm dreaming of a trip... Solo?!?

Hello everyone,

I'm dreaming of a trip...

My mom, who has been my travel partner for most of my European trips, can no longer travel... She turned 89 this year & she thinks she can still travel, however, during our last trip (October 2015), it became clear that traveling is no longer a possibility for her.

So... I've been pondering with the idea of taking a trip by myself.

My DH is okay with it, (he doesn't like to travel), but my young adult children think; "it's not a good idea for mom to go alone"...
"It's crazy!"

I have been alone many a time when traveling with my elderly mom, mainly because she would be too tired by the early afternoon to keep going.

On our trips, my mom would be like an 'Energizer bunny' in the mornings, but by lunch time, she needed to get back to the hotel to rest.
Needless to say, I give my mom a lot of credit, because I don't know if I will be able to travel, when I reach my 80's!

My mom & I have enjoyed wonderful trips to the following places:

  • Spain--- Barcelona, Madrid, Toledo & Girona (1st trip); Córdoba, Sevilla, Granada & Toledo (2nd trip)
  • Italy--- Florence & Rome (1st trip) ; Rapallo, Portofino, Santa Margherita, Monterosso, Pisa & Rome (2nd trip); Verona, Padua, Venice,
    Ravenna, Varenna & Milan (3rd trip)

  • Greece--- Athens, Santorini & Mykonos.

  • I've also visited France with my daughter this June. We visited
    Edinburgh (where she studied for a semester) then flew to Geneva, and
    we visited the French Alps, Provence, Loire Valley & Paris.

As you can see, most of our trips have been to Spain, Italy & France.
Since I speak Spanish & a bit of French, I feel most comfortable in these countries where I can communicate. Well, I can get by in Italy ;-)

What's on my bucket list? There are so many beautiful places, but here are a few I've thought about (not in any particular order):

  • Italy--- Dolomites ( Ortisei in Val Gardena), Tuscany countryside, Umbria & Amalfi Coast... And Sicily, of course!

  • Spain--- Various regions such as; Basque Country, Castilla & Leon, and Galicia, etc, etc...

  • France--- various regions such as; Burgundy, Lorraine- Alsace,
    Normandy, Brittany, West Loire Valley, etc, etc...

  • Austria--- Vienna, Salzburg, Hallstatt.

  • Slovania--- specifically Lake Bled & surrounding area.

  • United Kingdom & Ireland---England (countryside) & Scotland

Please note: I'm not interested in taking organized tours mainly because I'd like
to travel at a much slower pace.

  • I don't plan to rent a car, because I prefer someone else to do the
    driving while I enjoy the scenery, & honestly... I don't want the hassle or
    expense of renting a car.

  • Traveling with my mom has taught me this; sometimes less is more.

When would I travel? I'm not sure yet, but perhaps June or Fall of 2017.
I would have 2-3 weeks for my trip.

I'd appreciate any & all thoughts & ideas from all of you solo travelers!

Thank you very much!

Priscilla

Posted by
11613 posts

Priscilla, you can do this!!!

My suggestion would be to go back to a country you love first, and even to a couple of cities you already know, even if you mainly use them as bases for daytrips. Then add a few new places. You have a lot of experience to draw on.

I travel solo almost all the time, it's easy if you give yourself enough time and a backup plan (I know you are great at research).

Posted by
7049 posts

My only advice is pick a place that really calls out to you (even if a new country you haven't yet visited) and go in Fall instead of June...if you're not tied to kids' school schedules (or anything else), that's the perfect situation to go off-peak season and be flexible with dates. The upsides are better temperatures (if not too late in Fall), less tourists, and better airfares. I've traveled a lot solo and you may learn that you may really enjoy it. It's definitely worth trying out - everything that stretches your comfort zone is bound to be a net positive experience no matter what. Have a great time planning your trip! You have plenty of time for research so everything will work out just fine, and you'll be mentally prepared by the time of your trip to tackle this on your own.

Posted by
2699 posts

Think about Croatia with a side trip to Slovenia to see Lake Bled and Ljublijana. Croatia has so much natural beauty and wonderful food.

Posted by
3200 posts

You can do this! You are at a point where I was a couple of years ago. I was the trip planner for the household, but either my husband would join me or I'd meet up with my daughter at some point. In 2015 I planned a solo trip to Sweden to see the areas where some of my ancestors lived. Although I'd been the trip planner and have traveled alone in the US, I was nervous. Women, particularly, on this forum helped reassure me immensely. I had the most wonderful time! There are so many benefits to traveling alone. You meet so many more people and it is such a joy to be able to do or see what ever you want, when you want without thinking of someone else. Pam, I think, on this forum suggested I have a plan for the first full day...and that helped me get moving that first day. I found the days moving to new locations to be the most stressful, so I'd suggest planning nothing else for those days and just travel and relax. If you arrive and have time for something, fine, but don't make it a requirement for that day. I also like to stay in a place at least 3 full days to get a feel for it.
--To satisfy my daughter, who is well traveled but worried about her Momma, I would upload or email a picture a day so they knew I was alive and well, and would know where to start looking for me if I disappeared, LOL. Enjoy all your planning as well! Wray

Posted by
687 posts

One choice might be to combine some 'group' trips with solo time. I did a rafting trip in Colorado for 4 days , then travelled on my own for a week. I would choose England - very easy to travel in and a lovely interesting place.

Posted by
9363 posts

Many of us here prefer to travel solo. Since you have a wide base of experience already, it should be an easy transition to go it alone. In fact, you night find it very freeing, not having to worry about your mom and work around her schedule. I would suggest starting with somewhere that feels familiar, as another poster suggested. No matter how many times you have been somewhere, you can always find something new to see. Then once you have a solo trip or two under your belt, you can branch out to someplace new.

Posted by
191 posts

Solo travel is great! You get to choose your own adventure which is nice because sometimes you want to hit every museum and others you want to enjoy sitting at a café people watching. In December I'm going for a couple of weeks to the Balkans solo. I love traveling in Fall or Winter since it gives such a different view of the places.

Personally I love Vienna and Munich and would highly recommend that region for a trip - plus you can do it mostly by train which makes it nice for solo travel. I lived and traveled in Ireland and it can be a really fun place solo, especially if you like to get a drink in a pub and are open to chatting with strangers :) I would recommend a car in Ireland (outside of Dublin) - getting lost is part of the fun!

Don't worry about language. In all the places I've visited in Europe, I have been able to get by with English and a guidebook or looking it up on my phone.

There are lots of hotels that have single rooms in Europe or discount for one person. I really love the MotelOne chain because you know what you are going to get, decent prices, and they have some good locations (be sure to check when they have multiple locations in the city).

Solo travel is totally safe; just trust your instincts and be confident. For my family's piece of mind, I usually send an email or text my family an a regular basis so they 1) know I'm alive, 2) have info on where I am since my plans are fluid and can change, 3) have the hotel/train/flight details so I leave a trail of where I've been and where I'm going.

I like to read solo travel blogs for places I'm going to visit. I came across an interesting post that highlights blogs of women over 40 who travel solo: http://www.adventurouskate.com/solo-female-travelers-over-40/

Posted by
5188 posts

Thank you, Zoe, Agnes, Alan, Wray, Diane, Nancy & Stephanie for all your encouraging words & suggestions!

Zoe, I like the idea of going back to a country I love & then adding new places.
So, if I decide to go back to Italy, I may need your help!

Agnes, good idea to travel in the Fall. Most of my trips I took with my mom were in the Fall.

Alan,Thanks for suggesting to go to Croatia & taking a side trip to Slovenia to see Lake Bled and Ljublijana.
I will definitely consider it & will need to do more research ;-)

Wray, I remember reading your post when you were planning your first solo trip.
I think I posted about how my mom took her first solo trip to Europe at age 73!

Diane, England does sound lovely ;-)

Nancy, You're so right! "No matter how many times you have been somewhere, you can always find something new to see"
I can definitely find new things to see & do in all the places I've already visited.

Stephanie, I will be busy reading all the blogs of the women who travel solo, it looks great!
Enjoy the Balkans!

Thanks again!

I look forward to hearing from more solo travelers ;-)

Posted by
9462 posts

Priscilla -- absolutely you can do it, and will enjoy it immensely. I agree with the notion that it would be lovely to go in the fall.

With so many places you're interested in (and I agree with all of them), you'd better get started!! : )

Posted by
15560 posts

I'm finding it easier to choose a place and then determine the best time to go there.

Plan a shorter trip (2 weeks) and see how it goes. You've been on your own for hours at a time, but not for days at a time. You'll be eating alone, you won't have someone to share experiences with, whether it's "oh, look at that" or "wasn't that interesting this morning". You'll probably adjust quickly and find that it's better to have a few lonely moments than to stay at home, but until you've done it, you won't know.

Maybe Ireland and England. I had lots of interesting conversations with people in Ireland, everyone was happy to chat, whether it was in a shop or a pub. Dublin, short flight to London and easy enough to spend a couple nights in other places. If you need more variety, take another flight from central London to Amsterdam. Ireland is a great getaway if you want to escape some of the summer heat at home in July or August.

Posted by
7175 posts

Priscilla, what a wonderful sounding mother you have, and what a lucky daughter you are. I can only imagine your sadness realising mum's travel days are over, and the difficulty involved to reach that decision. I have spent time with my parents in Europe on 3 occasions. In March my Mum became ill on a trip to Vietnam, and came home to major surgery. All clear now, but it seems my folk's travel dreams have been wound back like your mum's.
Travelling solo means your focus is not shared, so I would say your safety awareness would be heightened when you are not having to watch out for your mum. Tell the kids to chill, and go for it.

Posted by
7175 posts

Of possible trips, I would consider 3 alternatives.
1. Scotland and Austria
2. Burgundy+Alsace, Austria and Slovenia
3. Northern Spain from San Sebastián to Santiago de Compostela

Posted by
11613 posts

Priscilla, I will be in Italy on your dates ;-)

I agree about travel days being mainly that - anything else I do that day is a bonus.

You might find B&Bs easier than hotels as places to start a conversation, but quality of accommodations can vary.

Posted by
3200 posts

Priscilla, Yes, I remember! Your mother's story was great! Although, if I recall she didn't carry a purse...I'm not quite there yet! My old DSLR is a problem. :0 Wray

Posted by
12172 posts

It's easier to travel solo. You can go at your own pace, see (only) what you want to see, eat (only) what you want and when you want to eat, stop and go when you want, get up and go to bed when you want.

I didn't see Germany in your previous trips. A southern Germany trip, Koln to Munich (I'd always include Salzburg in a trip to Munich), would be really nice in September. If you wanted to do more, you could start in the low countries then go into Germany, or continue into Austria and end in Vienna.

Posted by
2466 posts

In France, I'd recommend visiting both Dijon and Lyon - for the history, good food and wine.
TGV will get you from Paris to Lyon in about 2 hours, and you could stay overnight in Dijon or just take a day trip there.

Then, I'd go to Strasbourg, because it's such a change of scenery - wine, food, architecture and accents.
It's quick and easy to take the train from Strasbourg to visit Colmar and Mulhouse from Strasbourg.

Remember that you are never alone when travelling solo - "Lucullus dines with Lucullus" - meaning that you always have yourself as a guest.

Posted by
1265 posts

Priscilla - With 2-3 weeks you could easily do a England, Scotland & Ireland trip. Or maybe do Amsterdam and Scandinavia ? ? ?

Posted by
2599 posts

I love travelling solo so much--began as "if I keep waiting for the right time/right people to go with me I may never do it', and now after 6 trips I can honestly say I'm probably better off on my own.

Fall is probably a good choice for you, much less hectic, pleasant weather still.

A favorite trip for me was Vienna and Budapest in 2014--easy 3 hour train trip, and I loved Budapest so much that I have since returned this May and now seem to be yearning to return next year to explore other cities as well. It's a wonderful city to be on your own in--spectacularly beautiful, very kind and helpful people, various transit options, lots to see and do and plenty of places to relax. Everyone has a favorite place on earth and mine is Budapest. Why not combine your Austria cities with some time in Budapest? 4 or 5 would be perfect. A big plus is they still use the forint, so our dollar goes a long way in Hungary.

I'm also tempted by a return to London and Edinburgh, train travel to other cities and then a short flight to Dublin.

Posted by
2431 posts

Hi, Priscilla,
I don't think I can really add anything to all the great advice you've gotten, but just wanted to say that I think you'll do just great traveling on your own.

Posted by
8377 posts

Priscilla,
if I was traveling solo again, I'd do it the way I started out - having a beginning and end point fixed, and some ideas for the middle, but figuring it out when I got there.

Posted by
2030 posts

I too love solo travel. I personally would base myself 2-3 places in England and tour around and see most of the country.

Posted by
1305 posts

Hi Priscilla --
My first trip to Europe was solo to Ireland and England. (Well, the first half was with friends, the second was on my own after they returned as planned back to the States.)
These were great countries for solo travel as I could read all the signs and have actual conversations with local people. There were moments when I felt lonely but never lost or anxious. I learned a lot and came home with a lot of self-confidence that "I can do this!"
With the help of this forum, you might be able to connect up for a day here and there with other travelers for a day trip or a meal.
I have a solo trip coming up (first solo trip in 25 years ...) and I will admit to a little trepidation. But 3 of the 4 places are familiar to me and only one is completely new. That was by design.
So I remember "I can do this" ... and you can, too!

Posted by
6590 posts

"My DH is okay with it, (he doesn't like to travel)..."

My couples-trip to solo-trip ratio is roughly 2-to-1. It might not surprise some here that my wife does fine without me when I'm away. But she loves to come along when it suits her - which is most of the time. Going solo gives me a bit of earth-hopper cred when it comes to planning and execution - she tends to define the broad travel plans and I handle the details. Works well. Maybe DH will warm up and you two can work things out similarly later on.

"I don't plan to rent a car..."

I'm so on your page.

"Since I speak Spanish & a bit of French, I feel most comfortable in these countries where I can communicate."

In Spain and France it's a bit of a trick many times without those language skills. But I've found English is more widely spoken in many other places.

With 3 weeks I think you'd do alright with Austria, Slovenia, and northern Italy. Public transport in Slovenia might be a little tricky. We were there last year and found we needed to plan out things pretty thoughtfully well in advance. Loved Ljubljana and Skofja Loka. Someone else suggested Germany, a country with an outstanding (and cheap) public transport system and a better grasp of spoken English than most Californians (my home state) and I would like to do the same. Salzburg puts you a stone's throw from lovely Berchtesgaden and the Königssee, and not far from Passau, Regensburg (a UNESCO World Heritage medieval city) and other tempting destinations.

B'gaden area:
http://www.berchtesgadener-land.com/cdn/uploads/watzmann-lockstein.jpg
http://images.fotocommunity.de/bilder/bayern/bayerische-alpen/jennerblick-zu-watzmann-und-koenigssee-1a243f3e-5ae1-42a3-b7a8-d2366c66aa75.jpg

Regensburg:
http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/1155
http://www.uni-regensburg.de/international/warum-regensburg/medien/daecherblick_2_stadt_regensburg_bilddokumentation.jpeg

Passau:
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/79198284.jpg
http://www.donauschiffahrt.de/en/cruises-prices/daycruises/passau.html

Oh, and Herrenchiemsee Palace is near Salzburg as well:
http://www.ferienhaus-am-chiemsee.com/files/template/background.jpg
http://www.schloesser.bayern.de/englisch/palace/objects/hch_ns.htm

Posted by
5188 posts

I am so grateful to each & every one of you who has replied to my post.

I truly appreciate your support & encouragement regarding this difficult decision.

Honestly, I was hesitant to post this thread, but I'm so glad that I did.
You've given me much to think about & I will consider all your suggestions, thank you!

Regarding David's comment:

I can only imagine your sadness realising mum's travel days are over, and the difficulty involved to reach that decision.

Yes... I'm sad that my mom won't be able to travel with me anymore. The most difficult aspect of all this, will be when I tell her, because I know she will feel left out.
I'm very grateful that we did enjoy some trips together & have great memories to cherish...

Thanks a bunch!

Priscilla

Posted by
1806 posts

A lot of the places you mention for your bucket list have to do with exploring the countryside, not necessarily the bigger cities. If you don't want to rent a car, are you open to joining day tour operators to get around and make the most of your time? I get not wanting to join a multi-day guided tour if you want to travel at a much slower pace, but does your comment also include not wanting to do day tours?

To make your kids feel more at ease, maybe you want to consider the England, Scotland, Ireland trip. They might be imagining a worst-case "what if's" (like "What if mom gets sick over there and she's alone...how will they understand her?") so the thought of you going to an english speaking country might make them relax. No language barriers also makes it easier for you, as a first time solo traveler, to get your feet wet navigating everywhere on your own, plus you can also have more in-depth conversations with the locals and other travelers when you are going about your day or evening.

Never used them and I have no idea how aggressive their travel schedule is, but you could also look at something like the Rick Steves "My Way" trips. You are essentially paying for the private coach bus and driver that takes you from stop to stop, and it seems as though they arrange for your lodging which takes that task off your plate, but after that what you do once you arrive in a town or city is entirely up to you - so you can take it as slow as you want. Depending how many nights they stay put in one place, maybe it is (or isn't) a good option for you. And something like that might make your family feel better because it is a reputable company and someone (the driver, other passengers) would be seeing you on a fairly regular basis as you move from place to place.

Check in with your family regularly by email, phone or text. I travel solo quite often both domestic and international. It cost me something like $40 when I went to France to get unlimited texting to/from my cell phone when I was there for a couple of weeks.

While I love to travel in the Fall, June in Ireland, England or Scotland is actually a pretty good time to go. The weather is warm, but not too hot and the number of daylight hours helps extend your time sightseeing outdoors. It can still be light out as late as 10PM in June.

Posted by
5188 posts

Ceidleh, thank you for your great suggestions!

I've not taken any day tours, but I'd definitely consider taking them, especially if I can't figure out a way of getting there myself ;-)

The main reason I don't want to go on organized tours, including the, "My Way" tours, is because I prefer to stay longer than 1-2 nights in most of the places I'd like to visit.

Thanks again!