House Swapping- Nelly's Progress

I don't know about Nelly, but over Christmas we did an unbelievably fantastic house exchange in Amsterdam. We got to stay in this 4500 sq.ft.former monastery.It was like a designer dream house, all the old architectural elements such as stained glass windows and 30 ft. ceilings combined with modern metal staircases and fresh, modern colors like lime green and teal. My 2 kids and their 2 friends were so thrilled with the house that they almost didn't want to leave to visit the museums. We ate most of our meals there because the place was so incredible. It was a great deal, getting to stay in a place like this in an expensive city like Amsterdam, for 6 people, for FREE! I can't wait to do another exchange.

yes, we're all set and I'm so excited. We have four great-looking swaps lined up for the seven weeks. Only two families are coming to our place this summer and we have IOU's with the other two for whenever they're ready. That really improved the flexibility of our planning - the dates didn't have to match exactly with our swap partner's preferred dates.

Another thing that improved flexibility is that I wasn't locked inside my head into very specific locations or dates. I wanted to spend some time in Italy, France and Germany but wasn't too fussy about where exactly or in what sequence - there are great things to do everywhere. Okay, I was a little fussier in Germany because I want to show my family the places where I used to live, but that worked out within 200 km and that is close enough for me to swing by the ol' homesteads.

We are exchanging emails regularly with our swap partners and I feel very confident they're legit (Google is a great tool - "yes, he really is a medical doctor in the town he said he was").

Any day now...ummmm...I'm going to start decluttering my house (no it's not like on the hoarder reality shows, but there's always work to be done)

Thanks for asking! I really think this will be wonderful, just as the previous poster described. And with daily free access to laundry in the house, I can follow all the pack-light advice on this site!

Congratulations on the swap to Florence! I didn't get any takers from Florence, except offers to rent...

Nelly, good point about getting to know your exchange partners through emails. I felt like I knew the people pretty well by the time we did our exchange. We also wrote back and forth asking little questions during the exchange. It was more like staying in a friend's house. We each told the other to help themselves to anything. You're also right about Googling ahead of time. Our partners were also doctors, with the wife also being an interior designer (interesting career combination). It's pretty easy to verify people with the internet these days. The hardest parts of the whole first exchange thing was writing the "book" (all home instructions, and local recommendations for food and activities) and then making the house showroom clean. The first, once done, the book can be reused over and over. As far as the cleaning, I probably worried far too much and wouldn't worry as much next time. It feels so good to have completed this first exchange. From now on it'll be much easier.

Wow! I couldn't help reading through this thread. How did you all get involved with home swapping? Is there a fee? Does one have to be living in an amazing part of the country to attract potential swappers? Just curious...

This blog has a tremendous amount of accurate information about home swapping. Warning, the author is a native New Yorker, which means she's not afraid to share her opinions - but I really enjoy her writing.

Also, before you sign up with any home exchange sites, check this site for ratings of the various sites. My advice is browse through the sites looking for two things: number of listings in the area you want to travel to, and ease of use/high quality web user interface. There are some real duds out there.

No, you don't have to have a super house in a resort location - there is someone out there who wants to swap with your location!

There are some people on this site who have lots more experience with this than I do, but I'm really sold on the concept.

Eli,I got involved with home exchanging after reading many articles about what a great way it is to travel.If you already own a home that's empty while you're on vacation,it just makes good economic sense to trade that commodity for something you'd otherwise have to pay a lot of money for.I must also point out that I love to travel more than anything in life(I've made my my formerly reluctant husband a huge convert after many years)but I haven't had a paying job or over 21 years,so I make it my life's goal to find ways to travel well for as close to free as I can possibly manage.As far as home locations,it helps to live next to DisneyWorld or in NYC,but people want to travel many places for different reasons.Look up listings on HomeExchange.com and see how people market their homes.It costs about $10 a month to be listed,but I paid for several years in advance and got it much cheaper.It requires that you be trusting of others and not be the kind of person who doesn't want anyone touching their things.Definitely not for everyone.But for many people,it lets them inexpensively live in real people's homes,in real neighborhoods.Sort of like trying on a new life..almost for free! Love it.

Yes, exchanging a second house would be FAR easier to arrange. Our Amsterdam people hadn't thought of a ski holiday in Oregon until our invitation. There's no harm in extending offers to people who haven't expressed an interest in your area. It takes no extra money and just a little effort to email people. Another family that I emailed in Amsterdam said that they could not travel at Christmas, but invited us over for champagne. I thought she was just being polite until she re-emailed me about 3 weeks before our exchange with another home and asked if we were still coming. So all 6 of us went over to her Amsterdam canal apartment and had champagne with her family. Then the 9 of us all went out to dinner together and shared the most memorable evening of our entire trip. Home exchanges can connect you to locals in ways you'd never expect!

That's awesome- for both of you! Nelly, please share w/others how much WORK is involved in setting up all those swaps! WOW!
I probably sent out over 100 emails for Italy- Rome and Florence- but was a little more open in the Tuscany area. We rec'd 2 positive responses. The one in Rome fell through and we are proceeding along w/Florence.
We had a "good" experience, not great, but obviously good enough to do it again!
Here's what I learned:
1. It takes A LOT of email effort to connect. Much easier if you are swapping a second home as dates are more flexible.
2. Don't apologize for how hospitable/clean you were-this is WONDERFUL and shows what a great host you are! My biggest disappointment was that the house was not very clean and we actually figured out at the end of our trip that we had been sleeping in their used sheets..... YUCK!
I had it in my agreement that we would both be responsible for the cleaning- didn't want to spend my last day of vacation doing it. Worked for us.
3. Pay attention to the pictures....if it looks dirty and unkempt the chances are it will be in person.
4. Don't be afraid to put things away that you wouldn't want broken or taken, or "seen" (personal financial info). I would be more concerned w/the broken part but you never know. This is even more appropriate if it is your primary residence.

My family of 4 did this outside of London and swapped our vacation house in VT. It was the only way we could afford this trip. I would absolutely do it again but will be a little smarter this time...

Michelle,you made some excellent points.I also sent probably 100 email inquiries out.Trying to match up where you want to go with where another family wants to go,at the same exact time,was quite the challenge.You get people who are not polite and do not bother to even respond,or people who change their minds without telling you,making you start over.I make a point of always getting back to other people who want to exchange with us when we are not able,just so they'll know right away and can move on to another possibility.As with everything else in life,you run into people with good manners and those sadly lacking.Also,you are so right about how telling the pictures are.With the Dutch home,the internet pictures showed a degree of clutter,which was a very accurate reflection of what we found when we got there.I would never post a picture with any kind of object that did not belong showing.I approached my home pictures like a magazine photo shoot,with everything picture perfect(the way I left the house for our guests).The Dutch house was clean(cleaning crews came in twice a week)but not as organized and tidy.We had an agreement NOT to clean each others' homes before we left.When we got back,I was shocked to find our home spotlessly clean,as if no one had even been here.I wrote back to them saying that they need not have done this,but they replied that since it was so perfect,they just had to leave it that way for us.I felt bad that they had used their precious vacation time cleaning the house,but it was a lovely surprise.You can get a really good sense of people from their pictures and emails.I liked the Dutch family early on and was not disappointed.

Terry you and I think a lot alike! I am actually a home stager so presentation, especially in pictures, is BIG for me. I don't think people realize how critical this is- it is the all impt first impression! The better your house looks in the pictures, the more positive inquiries you'll get.
I'll even go one step further, just like selling a house, certain rooms are more impt. When I'm looking for a potential swap, other then # of bedrooms (if we are all 4 traveling) and location, I always look at the kitchen, bathroom(s) and master bedroom.
I also think I may have confused people w/my cleaning comment.... we DID NOT clean ourselves at the end but each were responsible for having our respective houses cleaned afterward. I just thought it easier to coordinate my cleaning, with my cleaner in the US. I also learned, the hard way :)..., that standards vary WIDELY and at least I knew my house would look the way I expected it to when I returned to it.
I, also, have had many people not respond at all, and like you, always at least give the courtesy of a polite no. I will add that in the site we're on, your acct tracks these and although I might not want to go to that destination now, I could very well in the future!

Michelle,I love it that you're a home stager...you totally understand the importance of that first impression.I've never had our homes staged,but I studied every little detail and method photographers used when photographing our last home for magazines.The camera sees things differently than the eye and that perspective must be taken into consideration.I am not as picky about the potential exchange houses I look at as I am about presenting my own house.I figure it's harder to attract someone to Bend,Oregon than say,Munich or Paris,so I need to have every advantage I can in order to attract interest.While cleanliness and decor are important considerations,I am more interested in the size and location,since I'm not going to live there forever. We also throw in the cars as part of the deal because that makes us more attractive to potential exchangers.It is a lot of work,but the payoff is huge, especially when you get a large house that accommodates family and friends.

Wow- there are some KILLER places listed on homeexchange.com in Bend, Oregon! It looks beautiful and is probably fairly similar to our house in VT.
I try really hard not to look at furnishings and decor... job hazard :) because as you said I'm not going to live there. But even though I know better, the more appealing your house is, the more success you will have- all things equal.

You are also right about certain places just inherently being easier to swap with. It seems EVERYONE, especially Europeons, wants to go to NYC. Don't quite understand that as a Bostonian LOL!

Yeah, in Bend we're up against lotsa stunningly gorgeous multimillion dollar homes. But,not everyone wants to go to the same place at the same time, so we still get a lot of offers,even though our house isn't the best one out there (not even close). I see lots of foreign requests for Boston. I would think it would be easier to attract people to a large, historic city like Boston than to a small town in the mountains that is more isolated like Bend. But different people are looking for different holidays. I've seen a number of requests for Indiana (my former home), because a family member is studying abroad there at IU, or in Michigan because of family connections. You never know.

Our vacation house, in VT, is the house on the swap site. It is much easier to swap a second home as there are no items of extreme value or of a real personal nature and the dates are much more flexible. We also rent this house, on occasion, so we have a "locked" closet and "rental" linens/towels etc. Unless someone specifically says that they only want to go to location x or have a specific reason for going someplace, as you mentioned, I send the request anyway. Doesn't hurt- I just cut and paste my write up.
Our first swap was an inquiry to us, unsolicited. I was not looking to go anywhere specifically but it sounded interesting to us so we did it.
Can't hurt to throw it out there- you never know:)!

What a GREAT story! You should be a testimonial on the site:)!

Oh, rats, I missed a whole day's discussion. Great points, my experience is similar. I posted my stats in an earlier thread, but I sent about 250 emails total to the 3 countries. I had an average 50% response rate (50% never replied at all). France seems far and away the most open to swapping - there are the most listings and the response rate was higher than 50%.

I can't contribute much to the rest of the thread, since I haven't actually gone yet. But I'll have four swaps to report on by the time I get home.

Terry, I LOVE the story about your champagne evening. I've had a few invitations too and didn't take them seriously, but now I'll follow up.

Count me with Grier. I don't have a house so house swapping isn't in the cards for me at this time. Not sure how I feel about it for the future either.

But I'm really enjoying both of your stories and tips, and it's great to see another way to really connect to the local culture of the place you are visiting.

I would never have thought of offering to get together with people when they offer me an exchange in Bend that I can't accept.But now,I would consider it if I liked their email. I have noticed that homeexchange.com also has notations for people offering "Hospitality", in addition to exchanges, which I think means that they will host people in their homes, and maybe show them around, as well. Exchanges do offer you so many more chances to connect with friends and neighbors of the homeowners. These human connections are far more meaningful than I ever would have guessed. We will be back in Amsterdam for a few days this coming December and we will make a point of actually trying to meet our exchange partners face to face after our year of developing our friendship through letters. Also, we have since written back and forth to our "champagne" friends and will try to share another dinner with them (and they plan to come and see us on their next trip to the west coast.)It's been a completely different travel experience, interacting with people who make no money from the tourist industry.These people are not being paid to be polite to you, they're just being themselves.In the case of our last trip, they were fascinating and we got to see how much our lives were alike, despite the obvious cultural differences. Priceless.

Hello to the rest of the helpline community - we're not trying to make this a private conversation. I hope others are getting something out of reading these experiences - this is a true back door opportunity! (And, of course as Terry said, it lets us feed our travel addiction more often). Questions and comments most welcome.

Another important aspect that I've noticed as I've perused countless home exchange profiles is the desire of many Europeans to trade homes for longer periods of time, like 3 months to a year. I see this as something that would be very attractive someday when my husband retires. It would be an excellent way of trading lives and cultures at almost no additional expense. It's never to late to become a foreign exchange student!

I've enjoyed your "conversation" and am glad you haven't kept it private. I'm not sure house swapping is for me but I love your stories.

You can swap an apartment, condo or an RV or houseboat for that matter :)!
We had a VERY cool opportunity to swap for a houseboat in San Francisco Bay!
People who live in cities, especially, are often times apmt dwellers. This is just as appealing, if not more to some, because of the location.

I so want to do a home exchange. I have been looking at the home exchange website for the last couple of years and I think it would work really well for us. Like you girls indicated, we're in a good location, So. Cal (15 min. from Disneyland and an hour from San Diego). However, my husband isn't open to the idea. I'm still working on him. Like you have said, maybe once we retire and can spend several months in Europe he'll change his mind. In the meanwhile, thanks for sharing the info on how to organize the exchange.

my husband was not a fan either of having people in his house. But he knows how important this is to me. Like Terry, I come from a traveling family, and my feet have been nailed to this floor for 15 years with (freely chosen) decisions to buy the bigger house, raise kids, give up my traveling job for a local job to be home at night, etc.

Now he's happy about it because he likes slow travel, sitting in the squares people-watching, and the idea of not having the four of us in a tiny, un-air-conditioned hotel room for weeks on end. He is also happy that it's going to require us to do some decluttering here at home. Or at least he's being a good sport! We could not afford this long trip any other way.

I still can't get him poring over itinerary options and obsessing about carry-on luggage choices - but that's what I have all of you for!!

Edit to add p.s.: I also promised him we would lock the office and his precious computers (he's a geek). That was actually the turning point. So my two cents (worth exactly what you paid for it) is figure out his biggest objection and address it head-on in a way that still works for you.

I think there can be a different set of expectations/behaviors with friends. People who are total strangers want to make a good impression, but friends are more comfortable (maybe too comfortable!) with each other. Of course, some people are just rude.

I think we have a good location. The problem is more a) the furnishings (we have twin bunk beds. Probably not most peoples' preference) and b) I suspect our landlord would not approve.

Lastly, while I can somewhat understand people not wanting to get pet hair on their sofa, etc. either don't allow pets or just cover the couch.

I would agree w/you Liz on both counts- expectations are different for friends AND some people are just rude! However, I will say again that people have very different expectations as to what they are comfortable with. It really depends on where you're coming from. The house we swapped with was dirty, by my standards. I don't think she intentionally didn't clean, its just that her idea and mine are different. I am sure that she thought the house was fine. We did all the things people talked about- exchanged emails, spoke on the phone but you can't see everthing from a picture. This was my first and only experience, to date. Maybe I would feel differently if it was clean. Just a piece of information for others, nothing else meant by it. Obviously, I am doing it again and have strongly endorsed it :)!
Not sure about your landlord question...there are A LOT of apartment dwellers on the site. Maybe you could ask one the question.
Have another suggestion w/beds.... not sure how many rooms or beds there are but if these are the only beds and you are concerned for "couples" you can buy connectors which will turn 2 twins into a king. TADA :) and when you're done- back to twins.

Good luck!

Great information everyone! I'm bookmarking this for my future reference!

Nelly, good call w/ locking office. Our last swap was a 3 bedroom house w/4th as office. She asked if I minded if she locked the office. ABSOLUTELY NOT! I have no business being in there and, honestly, no reason to be.
She actually had a VERY expensive harp which she asked us not to touch but left out! We didn't touch it- let our kids look at it for a minute and then forgot about it.
It is defintely harder to swap your primary residence, especially if you have a lot of expensive items. Depending on your comfort level, also could be a lot of work and not worth it to many.
Some ideas to consider...
Do you have a basement or addt'l room that you could lock? This could solve the valuables/personal items issue.
You could purchase some inexpensive sheets and towels, just for this experience. Certainly much less costly than a hotel room or two!
You can list any exceptions that you are not comfortable with. For example, many people do not allow smoking or pets. Some exclude children, some qualify this w/a specific age.
I know someone else said this and I think I said it on another thread as well... Don't not to do it because you don't think your area is glamorous enough. You never know! It costs less than $100/yr and if you do not successfully swap in yr one, your second is free. Really a great deal!

I take a very casual attitude toward material possessions so we didn't put any locks on closets.After all these years raising kids and pets,I'm used to accidents and things not always being perfect.Anything but living things can be replaced or done without.I don't have a problem with exchangers driving our cars.They have to be better drivers than my kids were at 16!That's why we pay the big bucks for all the insurance.My only concern was for their comfort and safety, so both cars were spotless and had GPS units in them.My husband and I still break things and spill things.The Dutch family thought they broke our copy machine and offered to replace it.I assured them that it was just a paper jam that I fixed,but I wouldn't have taken their money, regardless,because any thing can just stop working any day for us, too.I was just sorry that they were inconvenienced.The Dutch were also blown away by how friendly and trusting Americans are.They couldn't believe the way we gave them our car.We left it at the local small airport,parked near the payment booth in the parking lot.I took a picture of the car,along with a picture of the license plate and put it on the outside of a manilla envelope with their name on it, with the keys inside.We had instructed the Dutch family to go to the booth and get the envelope.They later said you could NEVER do this in Amsterdam because the booth attendant would most likely take the keys and go rob your house!This possibility had never even occurred to us.We don't think like that here.I guess I wouldn't feel personally comfortable implying in any way that my guests are dishonest.Even if little things get lost or broken (as they do in everyday life) we saved thousands of dollars in the home exchange, which would more than make up for any small losses.

yes, I have the same discomfort, Terry - I don't want to imply they can't be trusted with my stuff. But it was important to my husband and I don't think it's too offensive. We will leave our wireless network on, and if they don't bring their own laptop, we'll leave out one PC for their use (not the shiny new Mac, though). It's just the one room that we run our business out of that will be locked.

I'm loving this thread. I had never thought of this as an option, but now think it is something I will seriously look into. I've always thought my home was a 'vacation' home. We have a large home with pool, fire pit & built-in bbq right up against the foothills. We get LOTS of wildlife...burros wake us up often...I love it! Unfortunately, Moreno Valley is not a vacation destination, but we are about an hour from Disneyland, the beach, the mountains, Palm Springs, and an hour and a half from San Diego. Are people willing to drive that much to see the area? I would be willing to include use of our vehicles to sweeten the pot. We also have 4th separate garage to lock any valuables in.

Cindy, See my comments above about "glamourous" locations:)! I would suggest you go onto www.homeexchange.com and look at listings. There is a lot of variety! You never know... The most impt thing is to take good pictures and present your house and area in its best possible light.
From there it just really takes some effort and persistence.

Nelly, since your office is a business,I can't see that offending anybody. Discreetly putting a few areas off limits is one thing.I guess it's the overall vibes I get from some people that are deal breakers. We often rent homes on the Oregon coast. When I find a place that says you HAVE to take your shoes off and animals can't be on the furniture, I pass. We ALWAYS take our shoes off in the rental homes because of sand and I ALWAYS bring my own sheets to cover the chairs and sofa my dog may admire, but I don't want to be told to do this.I've been in people's homes that quite frankly, are not very nice and have seen them guard their things like they are far more important than you are. This is a turn of to me.If someone accidentally tracked mud into my house,I would ignore it and clean as soon as they left, never making them feel bad or it. I look for exchange homes where we will feel completely welcome and at home. It's the overall friendly, open attitude of the homeowner that is most important to me.

And Cindy...your place sounds like a dream destination! You would get tons of offers, I'm sure.

I think everyone has a different comfort level and different things that are impt to them. Everyone's standards are different and that can be problematic for some people. I can't believe someone would rent their house and include pets and ask you to keep them off the couch- YIKES! They should just say- no pets. I could tell you stories that you would shake your head and say- I can't believe they could be so inconsiderate or worse... I have had this experience in our vacation home. What made it worse was that most of the time it was people we knew (of course most of the time my husbands friends :)!
I see no problem w/setting reasonable boundaries that everyone is comfortable with. It makes the experience more pleasant for all invloved, provided its handled in the right way.

I think maybe with renting, some people might feel like they are paying the big bucks and are ENTITLED to do whatever they want to a home. And you as the owner, really don't know if they live like pigs in a condemned trailer. However, with home exchanges, you see EXACTLY where they live and gain a good sense of how they take care of their living environment. And you get to know each other with emails. You each know that you will be in the other's home. These special conditions limit the frat house behavior that you could get with a rental.

Did you see that part about people that I know ;)? I am talking about friends staying in my house for free and leaving the toilets from their boys full of dried pee, using all the toilet paper and not replacing it, inviting their husband into MY bathroom, w/o asking and doing god knows what while my husband and I sat there! I could go on but I won't. The renters are actually MORE considerate :)!
Trust me Terry- you are a homeowners dream:)! I have shared some of the unpleasantness that we experienced in our swap. I don't believe it was done w/any malice but just a different set of expectations.

I totally get not wanting pets. That's perfectly fine. Trust me...there have been days when I have felt that way (thank goodness they're so cute). But if you do allow pets and kids, don't expect them to be tied up out in the back yard. And Michelle...who are your friends???? Those behaviors are outrageous!

MY HUSBANDS's FRIENDS and you have no idea ;)!!!