Holier Than Thou

I think the postings that bother me are those that don't answer the question that is being asked or get upset because it is a question that has been asked often before.

That said, most people on this forum are friendly, well-meaning people who genuinely want to encourage other travelers. The positives far outweigh the negatives for me.

Frank, I agree. But, it sounds like you are experiencing burnout on this forum. Perhaps, a break for a time might help?

Thanks, Chani. You are right. It was early when I wrote this.

Dear Frank, Frankly (no pun intended) I think you are suffering not from Forum burnout as one wise voice here surmised but of an all too common malady called “readittoopersonallyitis”.

When one states an opinion, backs it up with experience (sometimes long sometimes shorter) and makes a case for why THEY decided to do XXXX and then urges others to think about doing the same, this all too often gets mistaken for some reason as a Dictate.

To me this is exactly what this forum is about. Sharing of experience and making a good case for why one does something is meant to make others think about their situations. This place would be very boring without them.

Kaeleku makes some very good points. There are objective facts and experience does count especially in travel. After more than 40 years of traveling all over the world and living on 4 continents I now travel cheaper, smarter, safer and happier than I did when I started. That’s the benefit of experience.

Some posters never seem to read past the posts title. Titles are often crafted to get attention, But the entire post has to be read carefully. It is all too easy to read a post with a pre-set “tone” in ones head possibly set by the title. A tone the author never intended.

In a recent post I did (which I am sure you may be making reference to albeit obliquely since it is the type you listed first) I got the same. reaction from a few readers. A few took my comments as some kind of order or commmand. When in reality it was nothing of the sort.

Too much of the time I read reactions from readers on posts (not just my own) that seem to have missed the point to say nothing of the nuance of what was actually written.

When I read a post and I hear a negative tone in my head I always go back and re-read it again this time forcing my inner ear to do so in a more lighthearted tone.

Just to be clear...That is what I do...and why...I am not telling you to do it that way.

To me the best counter for someone who does make flat out declarative command type remarks is to carefully deconstruct their logic by offering your own counter experience thus giving balance to the discussion.

"Here's a little secret......it's your money, your time, your vacation, your life. Go where you want, take what you want, carry what you want, spend what you want, stay where you want, do what you want."

So this forum can be shut down then? ;-)

Hike your own Hike...

I see nothing wrong with a forum where posters - who often are not sure what they want - ask for individual perspectives/responses, and receive individual perspectives/responses. It's normal that such responses are diverse and contradictory. We're a diverse community. Frank II, you seem to have sorted out which kinds of responses you value and which not. I'm sure the average OP can assess responses and do the same. I think that for any OP, what we say here DOES matter - but only collectively. What Moe or Curly Joe or Larry says on a given day could be trash, or treasure.

In one way, we regulars are pretty similar - most of us are trying to be helpful. It's true that most of us also have a few warts - I'm sure I do - and that we are mostly predictable to each other. The forum name almost says it all. "Oh, I see that self-righteous, objectionable Bertrand has posted today..." Well, I can choose to read Bertrand or to ignore him. There's one completely objectionable character I never skip over because he's so entertaining!! There's one I used to ignore because I would get upset at her nastiness (I've been reading her lately and she seems to be on her meds nowadays.)

So in the same way that we all can travel however we want, we can all choose to READ whatever we want, I think. I just try to keep in mind that whatever I read is probably the author's attempt at helpfulness, no matter how I respond to it.

I think the point of the forum is to get peoples' opinions during the planning process and also help with recommendations and logistics. In the end, I would hope that people make their own decisions.

There are two forms of paternalism on this board - one directed at new(ish) posters and one directed at those responding (typically long-time forum members). Realistically, folks are not going to self-police their answers in the way each person wants them to - there's too much variety and variability out there. That's OK. The community guidelines are totally sufficient for keeping the peace and allowing for dissent and range of opinions. I support each adult assessing info from strangers for themselves and making their own decisions based on that - each person has full agency after all (I hope people don't need to be reminded of that). I don't believe there's a need for third party adjudication here, and I say that respectfully. I say "let this forum be..." and don't get emotionally involved with (other) people's responses, questions, drive-by's etc. It's up to RS to uphold community standards, but there will always be friction between different opinions and even people - I'd rather have the friction instead of constant policing of either questions or responses (of course within the realm of Community Guidelines).

Frank, you must have been channeling me when you wrote this. I was all ready to post something similar yesterday but stopped myself. A couple of recent posts have not been of the "this worked for me so I wanted to share it" variety, but rather of the "I've traveled to Europe a couple of times so now I am an expert" variety. I think these are the posts that Frank is referring to, not those posts that share their experiences and offer helpful suggestions. And it's probably not so much what they are saying as how they are saying it - as an imperative, rather than a suggestion - but to me it also comes across as a bit 'holier than thou'.

I travel this way and if you don't do the same I need to criticize you and put you down. (My way of travel is right and yours is wrong.)

Those are the replies that make me crazy. I frequently read an OP's request for the name of a private guide or small-group tour, and instead of answering the question, some people respond that "You should rent a car and do it on your own, just like I did in 1982".

Fair enough - it doesn't matter what I think, but I feel better now!

Our travel is evolving over the last 10 years and hopefully will continue to do so for decades to come. I am happy to tell someone what we do today, but we may decide to change the way we travel in the future. Whether they gleam something from my posts that want to make use is up to them. Heck we have even talked about checking a bag on couple trips we are considering. OMG, perish that thought. 😲😲😲

Most of our posts here are either helping answer questions with facts, or offering advice, which is opinion. I think sometimes people state their opinions in ways that come across as "It must be fact because this works best for me" rather than "this really works well for me, it might for you too." And sometimes explaining why you have good experience on a subject comes across as pompous. Very subtle differences in language can account for that and not everyone is a Lit major from college.

I admit that sometimes locals come across as overbearing, but they come with a different perspective and may not always consider the realities and needs of an American/Canadian tourist. But they offer good advice often and I try not to let some of their responses irk me.

Rant on!

I’m with Nancy and Douglass that tone can make the difference, no matter the writer’s intention.
So to help everyone else, because I don’t need help, I’ve put together this brief style guide.

1. Don’t use imperatives.
2. Do use conditionals the way I always do.
3. Always write with wiggle room in your meaning.
4. Never write never.
5. LOL.

Thank you, Bets. This thread needed a touch of levity.

I occasionally will state in a posting that "I have done xxx y times and my experience is ..." not to state that I know more than someone else or their interpretation is wrong or anything else other than just as a way of saying I have experience in that situation that might be helpful in the context of the question asked. Especially when the question is "How do I ...". Take it or leave it.

People explaining why they don't carry certain items on their travels (and similar topics) can be helpful when they present their reasoning in a manner that seems like they are sharing a revelation they had, but not in a preachy manner.

My major complaint is that people who have never done X and would never in their life do X or have zero experience with the specific topic state that things MUST be a certain way when replying to a topic and then get annoyed when they are corrected in their false assumptions.

I don't like following the advice of travel gurus because they are reporting on something they experienced possibly years ago. Things change. The quaint isolation that made Cinque Terra so nice 25 years ago is long gone because so many gurus said that was the place to go. Many other travel spots have suffered the same fate. Sure, the locals who could adapt to the tourist flood have profited off the gurus' pushing people there. But at what loss?

My pet peeve on forums is the OP who appears to ask if a proposed itinerary is OK, which most rational people would interpret as requesting advice but, when experienced travellers say "That's too optimistic" or "Be aware the queues for XX can be a mile long in Summer" or "I found that place too crowded/fairly boring/expensive" or "You do realise it will be the middle of winter in the southern hemisphere?", they either don't come back or dismiss the advice and argue for their original plan.

These people should simply say, "This is what we're doing", without adding the, "What do you think?" bit. Many appear to take offence, presumably because all they wanted was accolades for organising such a magnificent trip.

Of course, even if they don't ask for comments they will still receive 'feedback' from other members - after all, the word 'forum' originally described a Roman meeting place for discussion.

There might be something in a couple of things on this list, but most of these I don't perceive as problems. People being opinionated is inherent to this type of forum, I don't think anyone really questions that others have the right to do what they want. If someone wants to do something on their trip that could lead to problems, like travel to fourteen countries in nine days, or carry wads of cash in your wallet, or rely on a rental car to get around London, it's not out of line to point out the objective reality that it's not advisable to do that. That does not mean anyone has to follow their advice, we all have free will. I don't think it's obnoxious to state your experience to let someone know that you indeed have some basis for your opinion. Maybe we could have a general what are your pet peeves forum thread, now that would be fun.

I try to remember not everyone has the same level of experience in posting on internet forums and that the tone that someone might using in discussing politics on another message board isn't probably the tone you'd want to use on a message board devoted to travel.

I do agree with the above post about objective reality. There really are few things in travel that are really are a wrong way of doing things, mostly due to technology change. Travelers Checks ARE dead, even as an emergency back up. You don't need to bring your own food to Europe, except perhaps in a case with a baby needing a special formula for medical reasons. But, hauling jars of peanut butter across the pond is foolish at best. For 99.99% of travelers, the classic multi country Eurail pass is a waste. I"m sure it worked fine for your cousin back in 1992, but travel has changed. And, of course, travel is different for an adult with a two week vacation versus a college student with a full summer and different comfort standards.

I do try to be gentle when I see people with itineraries that I think are over ambitious. I try to point out the amount of time that is lost moving around and that it just isn't the two hour train ride. You lose time packing, checking out of a hotel, getting to the train station, waiting for the train, finding the new hotel and checking in. Plus, there's the time lost when you can't really do anything because you have a train later. But, I always try to mention that it is their trip and their decision. I also try to very gently point out that tiredness and cultural differences can start to cause friction among even the closest of travel partners and not having such a rigid schedule can really help.

But I do think this forum, along with other travel forums, are a goldmine of helpful information. It is helpful to read opinions about certain sights and cities and people's experiences. It's useful to read if someone found that visiting a certain site wasn't worth it because it was so far out of the city centre that it sucked up so much travel time to and from.

Finally, if a thread becomes a trainwreck, then it's time to bail out. Uber/Tipping/Carry on vs Checked baggage threads can often descend into a mess. I don't mind giving my opinions and experience, but I'm not on travel boards to fight a Holy War.

For a while, I was getting to Scotland every year. Then I moved to NYC and work for British so I have been getting to England and not Scotland. I've been very aware that my advice on Scotland is a bit dated. (I am remedying that next month!) But for me, it was important to double-check my advice and to state when I was that I visited a particular place if I thought there was any question.

I also do think it's important to explain why you do something. I do carry on. I often combine hiking with business and city travel along with a big camera and that is a lot of stuff to pack into a carry-on! And anyway, my walking sticks used to have to be checked and I think that they still do. So, again, it's bringing a tone, a consideration of the way, the when as well as the opinion.

Pam

I can think of a few posters that fit that description. I figure that if I feel like I must wade in, the best thing I can do is list some alternative ideas. And say there's nothing wrong with renting a car in rural/suburban Germany instead of chaining yourself to the tyranny of rail and bus schedules.

Not fond of the "my way is the very best way" kind of posts either. Yes, please post about your personal experiences but don't make it sound like it is the only and best way/product/service, etc. It may be best for you, but not for everyone.

Not fond of people correcting spelling as though they were a teacher. Just use the correct spelling in your answer. Don't try and make the poster feel dumb.

Not fond of people bragging about their super cheap travels in a way that makes the poster feel like they wasted their money in some way. This comes up when talking about tours, hotels, and transport. Especially when it is after the fact. Someone will post about how enjoyable their Sound of Music tour was and invariably, a post will appear telling them how stupid they were for wasting their money. Talk about trying to deflate someones good feelings about their trip! Why would you want to make somebody feel bad? Not everyone wants to share a bathroom down the hall, not everyone wants to explore a city on their own listening to a podcast and carrying a guidebook everywhere, not everyone finds a train to be the best way to explore a country.

Not fond of the posts dissing something/somewhere even though they have never been there themselves or used the product/service. Threads about Ryan Air, certain tours, certain cities, certain hotel chains, certain forms of travel seem to attract posters who have never flown with Ryan Air, have never been on a tour or visited that city, rented a car or ridden on a train, or stayed in those hotels.

Well I agreee with the sentiment above that really NOBODY is telling anyone that they MUST travel the way they do. I really think that is a misreading or misunderstanding of a post and it’s underlying intent.

“Tone” of a post is as much, or more I would argue, in the individual readers head than in the writing on this kind of medium. This acccounts for the fact that you can have wildly varying responses that swing from those who are totally offended by your words to those that see the implied humor (as an example).

I believe that few posters take the time or effort to craft a given “Tone” to their writing here. I also believe that there are some who just may not be able to.

And there are readers vs skimmers. From some responses it is clear that the author has not really carefully read the OP and has immediately taken to the keyboard to answer.

But what is clear to me is that some (maybe many?) have not learned the art of not taking things personally. If any post on this forum so vexes you that you come to feel so emotional just leave it and move on.

In my opinion, the most valuable posts are those which offer fact, typically from a local (not someone who went somewhere 5 years ago on a RS tour). I have to think the OP can separate the wheat from the chaff.

I think a lot of it depends on the type of poster/question... You get the " I have read nothing, have no idea of what I am doing but have 10 days in ( insert city of country) help me plan" I think those posts open themselves up to all kinds of responses like the my way, is the best way, don't waste your time or money here, do not pack this/you must pay this etc. To be honest, these are the ones that drive me nuts. you know nothing of what they like to do, what their budget is etc. and at a minimum, I think people should have done some research before posting if they want helpful responses

Then there are the ones that ask if something is worth it, doable, good idea etc? Then you also open yourself up to the above.

For those who have already made some decisions like not renting a car, have already purchased tickets etc I agree that slamming their choices is not overly productive. That being said, I do value people's opinions especially those who have been somewhere I want to go, have travelled extensively, have good travel hacks. This is how I discovered packing cubes, certain lesser known attractions, how i realized that I really was overpacking etc. I am fine with taking and leaving some responses. I have found that there are way more helpful responses than not, so I am willing to skip over or shake my heard at the ones that offer no real help.

That being said, if people knew what they wanted to do, what they wanted to spend, where they wanted to stay, what they should pack.. there wouldn't be much need for these forums :)

I’m with Nancy and Douglass that tone can make the difference

ARG! I'm with all three of you there! It can be difficult to offer an opinion or alternative without coming off as some kind of authority. I try every way I know how to soften a post: use of "IMHO"; use of question marks; use of emoticons; attempting a casual, conversational style. Still, I know I manage to thoroughly botch some good intentions. :O(

Sigh. It's a work in process. (and LOL, Bets!!!)

Editing to add: do any of you find sometimes that you feel it necessary to be more direct than others? There are some OPs who give the impression that they do not read what's offered up or produce necessary info/insights when requested to better answer their questions.

I do check for tone because it’s too easy for words to be misinterpreted. Even speaking face-to-face, words can have different meaning and impact. Like all communication, it takes two, and writers are clearer when they take responsibility rather than assuming readers are problematic. If someone puts effort into writing something, it’s always a good idea to re-read not only for typos, but also to avoid imperative tone. When raising children, we learned to intervene strongly for health and safety. Otherwise, we tried to give wiggle room, just as an answer should give wiggle room to a situation.

Edit: note I put LOL as my final writing point in the previous post because I could be sure that a few people might think I was being serious. So, it was up to me to make my intent clear.

Beloved Ed, though he didn’t suffer fools and managed to frighten some newbies, used self-deprication as a device to soften his words when giving advice. It worked well. ( FYI—he’s well and busy. Heard from him at Christmas.)

Final edit: once I’ve seen imperious, condescending, critical or patronizing posts or answers, I hope for change. But if it doesn’t come, I have the choice of reading more of the same and raising my blood pressure, or skipping on to others to learn something new. We have wonderful contributors and several new writers who consistently give accurate helpful information. Two come to mind on the French threads: one has worked in the travel industry for years, and another in Utah, Idaho or someplace who is very accurate without giving imperatives, criticizing, or putting people down.

Thank you Bets. On a forum like this, communication is more of an open conversation rather than a classroom where the first correct answer wins. But without the non-verbal cues, and really good writing skills, its easy for the reader and the writer to not recognize tone and intent. So posts that are begging the question, may get a response beyond what they asked, just like at a party among friends. And, just like the news media, people confuse facts and opinions.

I hope our experienced posters don’t decide the quit this forum, so much of our independent travel I learned from this forum. Especially tidbits about neighboorhoods to stay in (Paris, London), small Museums not on most people’s to see list (SCAVI tour in Rome), travelling solo vs. as a couple vs. in a group, tour guide recommendations, first class vs second class train travel, dynamic money conversion when using a charge card, travel insurance, etc. I could go on and on. Some of us really do read and benefit from your experiences and knowlege when planning our trips. Whenever i answer someone, I explain why we choose a certain way to travel in the hopes it might not be something you thought of, but might benefit your trip. I never assume my way is best for anyone else, just better for us. That said, i am going to read Jen’s trip report on Four and a Half Weeks in Spain, think about a future trip there and take some notes.

I love to travel and this forum is so helpful. I have gained information from experienced travelers that would have taken me hours/days to figure out on my own. I also have been steered towards more scenic areas and fun experiences and saved travel dollars. When I planned my trip to Switzerland, people were VERY insistent that I not stay in Interlaken so I stayed in Lauterbrunnen. They were so very right! And now, I'm in the group saying stay in Lauterbrunnen/Murren/Wengen and use a train in Switzerland. I want people to love to travel as much as I do which is why I like to share my experiences. I hope my excitement for travel doesn't come across as "Holier than thou" when my intent/tone was meant to be more to share my excitement, "Oh my Gosh, I had the most amazing time, you HAVE to go there or do this."

So many good points here!

Ms Jo said

Yes, please post about your personal experiences but don't make it sound like it is the only and best way/product/service, etc. It may be best for you, but not for everyone.

Excellent advice. I dislike the itineraries that are a list of cities and a number of nights but say nothing about why one should spend time somewhere. I hope I am not doing this. (I must have done at some point.) Because as Emily said

the most valuable posts are those which offer fact, typically from a local (not someone who went somewhere 5 years ago on a RS tour). I have to think the OP can separate the wheat from the chaff.

Those who have lived somewhere pertinent to the poster, or who have traveled there multiple times have a valid perspective to offer. I have traveled/lived/visited xxx number of places so I know more than you. Hopefully we are not imperious in our advice, but if someone has been to the Cinque Terre 6 times, that person might have more to offer thn someone who has taken a day trip from Florence. Someone who lived in Paris for 4 years might be able to help with lesser-known sites. I want to know from what basis of expertise the advice comes. Far better to hear "I lived there and this is what I know" than to get advice Googled and inserted by someone inexperienced.

Kathy said

I try every way I know how to soften a post: use of "IMHO"; use of question marks; use of emoticons; attempting a casual, conversational style. Still, I know I manage to thoroughly botch some good intentions.

Kathy, you are among the best! Right up there with my buddy Ken in Vernon, Canada. I know if I am getting testy with questions and I get to feeling like you, Frank II, I take a few days off and do not look at the Forum. Or I quit answering even if I am reading.

And yes, Bets LOL!

Classic example.

I think Frank II and Jo are right on. You can tell some people are writing to build their own ego/status as the tone is a kind of 'this is how great I am' versus just nicely answering a question or providing their own experience. It does get tiring and, when coffee has not yet been consumed (YMMV) then a reaction to it comes out wrong. Lately, I've been more able to ignore the very few people who present in this manner...although it can be difficult. I've also noticed one or two people who used to post this way, who have changed, mellowed, and now have more open minds and opinions.

Kathy, you are among the best! Right up there with my buddy Ken in
Vernon, Canada. I know if I am getting testy with questions and I get
to feeling like you,

Laurel, bless your heart, thank you. I don't do it 'right' every day but I am trying, and you and so many others here are wonderful role models. It just matters to me that people spend adequate time to learn and enjoy a place, and that they do the homework necessary to make it THEIR trip and not mine. It's also important to me that they know that there is no singular way of doing things that suits everyone! That the forums offer up all sorts of options is a good thing. :O)

Yep, there are those testy days when you feel like you're talking to a wall!

I'm a local living in a tourist area, and will cheerfully admit to having large gaps in my knowledge when it comes to stuff tourists like to do. I mean, I can tell you which local tax collector's office/DMV office has the shortest wait time when you renew your license plates, but don't have a clue about what hotels are good ones. I have no need to rent a hotel locally, and when my parents visit, they've got a condo they own down here so they just go there on visits. I also can't tell you the best company to rent a charter boat or jet ski from; if you're local and go out on the water, you have a friend with a boat who invites you along.

And the food question is highly subjective; when we eat out, it's the places that give you more bang for the buck. Ask me where the good seafood is, I can send you to a place that sources fresh and local Gulf Coast products for an impressively low price. But a lot of the tourists freak out at the idea it's wedged in between a trailer park and a quick oil change place (it's like the area around the Munich train station-kind of rough around the edges but generally perfectly safe) , and they've rather pay twice as much at the beach for imported Vietnamese catfish passed off as grouper or mahi-mahi because of the view, which some prioritize over the food.

thanks for starting this thread, Frank II

Speaking as someone who is just finishing their first European trip ever, I depended on this forum for the vast majority of travel advice and planning that I put in. At the beginning, I mostly read. Even when I started asking questions, it was difficult. You don’t realize how much you don’t know. But you have to start..

I read books, websites, and so forth, but the information found here is more valuable and accurate. Sure some are more personable, some are more direct, some can get snippy - but I’m an adult and can ferret out the information that I’m looking for. Even the grumpy can have something to add. You just have to listen and look for it. Some do try to push an agenda. I read and consider, then make my own decisions. But the more information, the better.

I guess what I’m saying is, for all of you that are in a position to add words of wisdom, keep it up. There are those of us out here depending on it.

I'm a local living in a tourist area, and will cheerfully admit to having large gaps in my knowledge when it comes to stuff tourists like to do.

I so agree with this. I’ve lived in the DC area most of my life. I’ve never stayed in a hotel in this area, never ridden the circulator bus, and the last time I visited the White House was with my girl scout troop in the 4th grade. Someone who spent a solid week sightseeing in Washington might have better tips for a tourist than I would. I get helpful advice from both tourists and locals. It depends on the topic.

I have traveled/lived/visited xxx number of places so I know more than you

I don’t mind if someone indicates that they’ve lived in x place or visited y times when it helps set the context. What bothers me more is when someone neglects to reveal info that is important to know for context. If a poster recommends a hotel that they last stayed in 15 years ago, then they should make that clear. If someone slams a tour that they have never taken, they should reveal that fact (or better yet, just not comment).

Written communications are difficult. I might write something and think I am being helpful while the reader might think I am being arrogant. That’s not my intent but I can’t soften my voice or see the reader’s reaction and add a clarification.

Me too, I've lived in the DC area for 11 years and haven't stayed in many hotels - you have to ask my ex. :-)

I'll always tell someone what route/option I chose and why. It's up to them to decide whether they want to be smart and do exactly as I do, or be foolish and do something else. ;-)

Seriously, I just try to give honest opinions based on my experience. Hopefully that in some way helps them narrow their choices or find an option they didn't realize was available.

Amen, Frank. It's very important to be a clear mirror for the newer travelers, and encourage them to identify what it is they want to see and do, and for them to become clear on how they want to see and do it. The thing I notice often is how people who don't have a skill, like driving in the UK, how they insist that no one else should do it either, even when we had a professional driver who is used to driving 10 hours a day asking what to see between one city and another, very few actually answered his question. Most spent their time telling him not to drive. Maybe the others are correct, it's based on many posters never actually reading the detail of the original question. But it's also based on the assumption that since *they can't do something, that no one *else can :) Fairly inaccurate assumption, clearly.

The other thing I've noticed, as a person with a rod in my back most of my life and drastic pain issues from the scoliosis and collagen problems, is how people who do not have those physical problems do tend to put down others who can't walk all over creation. If someone's looking for bus or other transportation, odds are that telling them to walk all over the city might be something that they just can't do, and they're asking about the transportation for a reason. I would like to see the RS tours become compassionate and accessible some day. We're not "high maintenance travelers," Rick, we've just got bigger challenges. And it hurts more to get left out, too. OK for me, I'd rather wander around on my own anyway. But it might be nice to at least have an option to join a tour some day, without being put down. But oh well.

It might help to have more of a poster's profile visible near the posts, with some more personal info about the person, like age and any preferences/challenges they might want to show to others, to be able to be more considerate of them. Could be a big difference between a 20 year old and a 60 year old's needs while traveling. Hard to know what the target audience is, if they don't include it in their posts. Might also be good to make the original post more on a form than just a window, to encourage selection of some additional details with the original post, just in case someone DOES actually feel like reading it before they type out their know- it- all stuff :)

I do see many of the really pushy opinionated posters are the same people who just post a lot, there are a lot of other nice people too. We'll encourage the nice people more :)

The other thing I've noticed....is how people who do not have those
physical problems do tend to put down others who can't walk all over
creation. If someone's looking for bus or other transportation, odds
are that telling them to walk all over the city might be something
that they just can't do, and they're asking about the transportation
for a reason.

Alison, I'm so sorry that you feel that way. :O(

I don't know as I've personally seen responders deliberately "put down" someone with mobility challenges although they can be realistic about the amount of footwork some locations simply require. Guess I see it as not trying to hurt but to help them consider different choices which might be more comfortable/enjoyable, or at least know what they're getting into? Some posters also neglect to give us some relevant details that could affect advice offered up, or don't do it on EVERY post and so that important detail gets lost.

Along with filling out a profile with important details - and reminding responders to look for those - I wonder if adding a category to "Tips & Trip Reports" for travelers with disabilities might be useful? Along with providing a heads up that a poster has a specific challenge, it would also be a go-to place for the experts with firsthand advice for navigation/sightseeing with similar challenges?

When someone has visited a destination several times that I have never visited, they DO know more than I do and that's why I'm asking their opinion on this forum. I don't regard anything I read here as a "have to" regardless of how the post is stated. And I'm not a snowflake, so if someone makes what appears to me to be a snarky comment about my post, I can handle it and look for the kernel of truth embedded therein. And the "competitive light packing contest" is fun.

I use this site as a data point. As an experienced global traveler I already know that how I approach things will not line up to how others might. You won't find me following a little flag through a museum or down a street. I'll eat street food in India and at taco stands in Mexico. What I appreciate and I try to offer is perspective...not directives. I have been very surprised at how critically some forum members have responded to me when I posted looking for information...like to the point that it seemed like if I did not follow their advice that I was an idiot... Seeing that I stepped away from asking and moved on with doing my own thing...and I have to say, I'm not disappointed in the trips my wife and I have taken. We've seen what we wanted to see and probably missed scads of things that we did not know about. Oh well.... When I respond to a post I try to respond only if I have personal experience, not anecdotal or tour book experience. Whenever I can I try to offer a counterpoint or an alternative for folks to consider...because that is what I need when I am planning...an alternative view. I also try to damp down hype where it is not needed...folks that make a big deal about driving in Italy, about how you will get robbed every time you take a bus in Rome, that you will be fed horse meat in Paris or dog in Korea...give it a break.

I mostly feel this way when people tell me how to pack....and that I have to only carry-on one bag or I'm traveling the wrong way. I do not subscribe to the "packing less is more" theory (sorry RS)

I know on other travel boards having a dissenting opinion is "bad" especially if you disagree with the experts - I don't get that sense as much here - whew.

I have had horse. Not in Paris, it was Brussels. Just another piece of meat. Doubt I will ever eat it again.

I too don't understand why some people have to respond so negatively to questions or other posts. Unless the advice given, or the question asked, would lead to dangerous or illegal activities, there just is no reason to respond in any way other than positive. Offer your advice in a clear and concise manner and then move on.

Also, I appreciate when someone answers a question with a "I have done this X times and here is what I found ..." much more than the "I have never done this but a friend tried once 20 years ago and they told me you would be crazy to try it."

I will add one.

Well I’ve been to xxx. I wasn’t pickpocketed. So pickpocking can’t be a problem.

I will add one.

Well I’ve been to xxx. I wasn’t pickpocketed. So pickpocking can’t be a problem.

Or.....I've been to xxx, I was pickpocketed therefore pickpocketing is a problem.

What you'll find is that those of us who like to counter the hysterical "extreme pickpocketing problem" don't claim that the crime does not occur but rather that it's not as endemic as some would have us believe. Being a victim of a crime doesn't mean that it's a problem and a high risk one. For every person that's been pickpocketed in Barcelona for example there are many, many more who have not been.

Based on my extensive research (walked all the way up and down my street), elephants don't exist.

While those of us who have read many posts over the years, it would seem it's easy to search by subject for relevant posts. It is not. First the posts are not newest to oldest, so the top five posts that come up in the search might be 10 years old, and maybe not so accurate anymore. Secondly, if you search for (example:) Queen Mary 2, but a helpful post abbreviates it as QM2, the post wouldn't come up, unless one knew the abbreviation.

So don't take repeat new posts as being lazy, but perhaps more efficient instead of looking through dozens of posts with the right keyword but the wrong question.

I remember my first post 8 years ago, and how petrified I was that I would be nailed by the experienced travelers for asking a really stupid question by a newbie.

First the posts are not newest to oldest, so the top five posts that come up in the search might be 10 years old, and maybe not so accurate anymore.

I agree with Karen. The search function is pretty maddening. It has filters -- 2 years and newer, six months and newer, etc. -- so it would seem a "sort by" function -- "newest to oldest," "newest first" or some such -- should be a simple addition.

Thanks Karen! I've tried to use the search function especially when I know that my topic has been discussed, but I never get the question that I know is out there in RS cyber land. It can be maddening. A few times people have asked question and I know the info is contained in topics I've been a part of. In that case, I can find it in my history and provide a link.

And whatever you do, don't admit that you ever tip anyone in Europe (especially in Italy) on this Forum because you will be pounced on by those who don't. (I am now ducking for cover.)

Nah, just understand that there will always be hot button issues on any travel forum. Tipping, Uber, carry on vs checked bag, and Air BNB are the current hot topics.l

I do my searches on the Rick Steves travel forums by using Google. Like, if I want to easily find my own comment on the topa tour in Venice, I just Google on "Rick Steves topa tour venice" and there it is. Try it.

I have tipped in England, Germany, France, (sometimes inadvertently), Austria, and Poland when it came to taxi drivers, museum tour guides, river/harbor cruise guides in addition to waiters/waitresses.

Robert and Karen, I know what you mean! My first post (as I remember) had to do with tipping (yep, Italy!)...just saying that we tipped housekeeping wherever we traveled, always leaving a note that said “Thank you”. I couldn’t believe the reactions and posts, and it took a bit of time before I ventured out to post again :).

Welcome to the internet! Take what you like and leave the rest. When I read the type of posts you describe I find myself saying "Oh heck no' and just move on. I know who I am, I know our budget and how me and hubby travel. I love all the details of how to do XYZ, the technical stuff , the nitty gritty explanations of how you have to go to the Tabac to buy the ticket to board the bus even though the website says you can buy the ticket when you board the bus...that type of thing. By reading posts I can tell right off the bat what will work for me and what wont and I just skip over those posts, we are not like minded and probably in a totally different age group, economic group etc or their priorities are not mine. Sometimes I can get a nugget of wisdom even from the posts you describe

To each their own! Each reader needs to be accountable for their feelings and either engage or just understand that the poster is in a different grove than them (give them the benefit of the doubt) and just find information that is helpful/practical for you and your trip.