Helpful Tips for traveling with elderly parents…

In Paris, at least, many museums have free loaner wheelchairs. Even if someone is fairly mobile this is a way to conserve energy for the "pushee" although it can be quite tiring for the "pusher", lol.

And yes to the elevators in Museums!

Also, bring your driver's license to use as "collateral" for the wheel chair loan so you don't have to leave your passport.

Investigate taxi apps - either the official taxi companies for where you are going plus Uber and maybe Bolt.

What a considerate post for other readers, Priscilla!

I’m thinking through my typical trips for additional ideas that could help:

Choose hotels where there are restaurants within 1-2 blocks to cut back on walking after dinner when they might be more tired. Also, lodging that has a front desk attendant or B&B owner on site.

Activities that are enjoyed while sitting could help retain their energy, i.e. classical concerts, ballet, opera. And city gardens with views.

I wear a Road ID bracelet with an engraved plate which has an emergency contact.

Know the language words for doctor, hospital, I feel sick, etc.

This is good advice for everyone not just elderly - you never know when you are going to trip and fall in the Amsterdam train station one hour after landing in the country, bang your knee hard, with everything in a backpack suitcase on your back, and have trouble walking for days afterwards...thankfully nothing was broken, but we did need to take more breaks and adjust our schedule. I also needed to give myself grace to not be go go go. That was hard.

Consider a cruise. Yes, I know they’re not typically well received on this forum but we enjoy them and they enabled us to travel with dad for 15 years until he turned 95. He felt comfortable, at ease and assured knowing everything he could need was close at hand and we felt the same when we left him on the ship to pursue our activities though we mostly hung out together the majority of the time. Knowing a doctor was available was a real comfort to him and thankfully not required but a few times. I cherish those trips we took and the time we spent with him in his advanced years. My dad was a sweetie and the staff treated him like a king but it was clear they kept a watchful eye on him and their senior senior passengers.

Susan--I agree, except my experience ended up with knee surgery once home:(. I missed a step at Versaille and went flying down the staircase. I could not bend that knee the rest of the trip, so had to walk like a pirate. I had trip insurance so could have been seen, but instead I just texted my husband and had him get an appt with our ortho for right when I got back.

When we took my mom to France, she was not old, just 65, but SOOOO outside her comfort zone so we did have to make some changes to our normal way of traveling. She was having a foot issue on the trip, and a few places noticed and offered us the elevator. I remember specifically the Arc d' Triumph.

This post is a very good reminder for all of us, thank you:)

Thanks everyone for sharing your helpful recommendations and/or stories.

Pam,

Thanks for the tip about free loaner wheelchairs at some museums.
That reminds me of our experience when visiting El Greco Museum in Toledo, Spain.
The museum is in a two story building and my mom was tired and didn’t feel like going up the stairs to the second level. I found a staff member and asked if there was an elevator available. I was informed that the elevator was only for visitors on wheelchairs. Then he proceeded to tell me that I could borrow a wheelchair at the front desk and then it would be posible for mom to go on the elevator.

Jean,
Choosing hotels with nearby restaurants is a great tip, as well as having hotel/ B&B staff in case we need their assistance.

On our last trip to Spain I developed an eye problem and the hotel staff were vital in recommending an ophthalmologist and they even called and scheduled an urgent appointment for me. I was very grateful for their help.

Susan K, and Mikliz97,

Ouch! Getting injured is bad enough but getting injured while traveling.is worse!
Sorry to hear about your injuries but hopefully you’ve recovered fully.

Denny,
Wow! That’s amazing that you were able to travel with your dad until he was 95!
Thanks for sharing these sweet memories of your dad.

Safe travels to everyone!

Hi Priscilla, thanks for this thread, it's a wonderful idea.

As my parents got older, so many of these became important, especially for my mother, who has more mobility issues than my dad.

For hotels, in addition to your excellent tip about being sure they can get to their room step-free, I would add :

• Be sure that there is a walk-in shower (rather than a step -- sometimes a big step -- up into a tub/shower combo). Sometimes this requires reserving an accessible room.

Priscilla, this is great advice! Thanks for thinking of it. Both of my parents are long gone, but I'm sure one of these days I will need some extra help or attention, and will know where to come for tips. :-)

I can think of only one extra tip that works for me: Try not to get too distracted. That happened to me a few weeks ago when my six year old grandson was chattering away to me as we walked downstairs. Because of that, I did that thing where you think you're at the bottom so you step forward, but there's still one more step, and went crashing down on my knees.

Luckily the area was carpeted so no major damage was done (except to my self-esteem, which was not helped by my grandson laughing at me) but it taught me to pay more attention to what I'm doing when going up AND down stairs. :-)

Priscilla, that was so kind of the staff member to point you to the loaner wheelchairs!

I was traveling with a friend in Paris who was having some back issues and was using a seated cane. I was kind of shocked that staff everywhere were so solicitous and helpful to us. At the Louvre we asked if we could ride the elevator back up to the Pyramid entrance as I was going to call a taxi to meet us there. Louvre staff were really awesome.

Denny, so sweet that you could take your Dad at 95 on a cruise! My brother and I took turns taking our Dad to his WWII pilot reunions in his 90's. Such good memories!

I traveled with my 88 year old mom to Jordan and Israel a couple of years ago. Although she doesn't have any mobility issues, she hired a physical therapist a couple of months before the trip to work on stair climbing and uneven surfaces, neither of which she was accustomed to. It really made a difference, and she made it through all sorts of ancient sites and ruins for over two weeks.

I am going to forward this thread to my children.

What a great topic Priscilla, I travel a bit with my mom who is in her early 80s. A couple of ideas we have found worked.

We try to book a suite instead of a single room some of the time. That way if one of us wants to stay up later, sleep in etc, we each have our own space and can turn on a light.

We splurge a bit more on taxi's instead of my usual public transit. It saves some steps for her.

I love this post so much!! My mom's still a young spring chicken at 62, but she's my favorite travel buddy and posts like these make me so hopeful that we have many, many years of travel adventures still ahead.

I cherish our adventures so much and can only hope that she too will be spry enough to continue them well into her 80's. And 95!!? WOW.

Kim,
Thanks for sharing this great tip about walk-in showers.

I recall once in Italy the shower floor was a bit slippery, so not wanting to take any chances, I asked the front desk for extra towels and explained the situation.
I was given some type of disposable bath rug made up of thick paper material that worked well.

Mardee,

Ouch, that must have been scary! Sorry to hear about your fall, thank goodness for the carpeted floor.

Thanks for sharing, your recommendation is a good reminder for all of us, as accidents can happen when we least expect them.

My mom fell one drizzly afternoon when we were walking arm in arm on a river rock pathway. Fortunately there was a man who was walking toward us and at the very moment she started falling (we almost went down together)he came to our rescue.
He then advised us to walk on the white rocks (which are not slippery )and not the black ones.

Pam,
Thanks for sharing about your friend and the helpful staff at the Louvre.
And it’s so nice to hear that you & your brother
took your dad to his WWII reunions.
Thank you for his service!!!

Marie,
What a great idea!

Climbing stairs is becoming more & more difficult for my mom as she advances in age.

Mr….E,,
Ha! I think I’ll do the same! :-)

Wonderful thread, thank you for starting.

When I travel with my parents, I also make sure there is ample time at the airport, etc. Bad things happen when they are hurrying and get flustered.

Mardee, I hope you are okay - I know your London trip is coming up soon!

As already mentioned,

Absolutely request wheelchair assistance at the airport. No shame in that.

An emergency ID bracelet. I have one from Road ID.

If your doctor/hospital has something like MyChart, make sure you have the log-in and password for both of you.

A list of all Rx and OTC meds/supplements. I make a copy of the Advisory sheet from the pharmacy with the Drugs Facts portion only. Keep a copy on both of you.

Ask for a room with a low-step shower if you can get one. Get some anti-slip shower shoes. Mine are mules I can easily step out of to wash my feet. Problem is they are bulky so take up space. Very light-weight, but bulky.

Bring a cane whether needed or not. Gets you lots of respect. Helps when you get tired.

If parent can manage a sitting cane, that could help with fatigue after a long day. Most of the ones I've seen require straddling the cane. Could be okay with a partner to help getting up again. Maybe not so great trying to get up on your own.

Lisa,
Good idea to have a suite, thank for this great idea.

theplanningqueen,
Wishing you & your mom many, many years of travel adventures!

My mom can’t travel anymore but it’s nice to reminisce about our trips together.

MapLady,
Ample time at the airport is always a good idea, thanks for this helpful tip!

Once our flight was delayed over 2 hours, and I was worried about missing out connecting flight, but fortunately they had a golf cart waiting for us (instead of a wheelchair)

khansen,

Thanks for the additional helpful tips!

My mom refused using a cane for years…

Priscilla, and everyone else,
I am the elderly parent (81). Some of the suggestions are spot on; some, IMO, are a tad condescending. I understand the concerns though. In my mid-sixties I knew I wasn't elderly. Likewise in my mid-seventies. Now, in my eighties, I am old. The majority of us old folks have all our mental faculties and don't get confused navigating a foreign city or country or roads or rail trips. We can transfer planes in strange airports and follow the signs to our next boarding area. Yes, we may move more slowly due to wonky knees or backs, and can't/don't/won't run between terminals. We pay more attention to stairs, prefer taxis when burdened by our one carry-on suitcase and small bag, opt for elevators, and take more time going through museums, etc. (To appreciate them more.) We also are not quick with our fingers on our smart phones. (We all seem to agree it's our fat fingers and lack of frequent activity on the phones.)

We appreciate patience from others, not because we can't think or move quickly, but because we are in a place in our life where we don't have to hurry (most of the time). I must admit that there have been times (on a loooong trek through Frankfurt airport for our plane change) that I wish I had someone driving me in one of those golf carts. And the solicitousness of those on the forum who travel with their parents is admired. Hubby and I look forward to many more travels, hopefully independent and upright.
(One important time our kids came to our rescue was getting us out of kayaks beached on an uphill slope on the edge of the Dordogne River. Gravity was not our friend, and we did not make a pretty sight!)

This has been an interesting read. I have learned some new tricks and acknowledge the good intentions and kindnesses that so many of you have shown or show or will show to your parental units.

Merci et bons voyages a tous!

We took the in-laws to England and France last year and my uncle to Scotland the year before. Here are my suggestions:
-Make sure they're prepared physically. Maybe they shoud start upping their normal routine a couple months ahead of time. They started hitting the mall and doing a few laps twice a week to improve endurance.
-Do not expect them to tell you when they need a break/rest.
-Pack an extra warm/layering item even if they insist they won't need it.
-Make sure they're prepared for whatever activity ahead of time. Do they have their electronic boarding pass qeued up on their phone so they aren't nervous and futzing around in their bag or trying to find the right app at the last moment? Are they paying attention and ready? My mother-in-law would constantly day dream, be looking at her phone, or seemingly want to disassemble half her purse on public transit. We learned quickly to give her a 5-minute warning. "We're getting off at the next stop. The doors aren't open for very long. Let's get everything put away, stand up now, etc". Much better than "why did you choose this moment to reorganize your suitcase? YOU KNEW WE WERE GETTING OFF HERE. THE DOORS ARE OPEN! GO, GO, GO!"
-Make sure they have appropriate luggage that is up to the task. They had heavy, worn out 2-wheeled rollers (that didn't really roll very well anymore) which kept wanting to tip over. Fine for trips to see the grandkids, not fine for maneuvering on cobblestone streets with lots of stairs.
-Remind them of differences in customs. My polite midwestern FIL almost missed getting on multiple trains. "No, please, after you" does not work in the crush of the Paris Metro.

One more: know their limitations, even if they don't. My mom (84) only has one walking speed, and it's closer to charging ahead than an easy saunter. I can only hope to be as ready to go as she is when I get to her age, but she can also deplete her energy very quickly because she just won't chill out. We now have a collection of small reasons to pause just in case. This is a nice view, let's sit here to enjoy it for a minute. Sorry, I need to reply to a work text. This looks like a nice cafe, let's look at the pastry selection.