Help! I've just read Bill Bryson's book!

I love Bill Bryson, he makes me laugh so hard it is almost embarrassing to read his books on the bus and subway. People look at me like I am nuts! One of my favorites by him are "Notes from a Small Island", but the very best is "The Thunderbolt Kid". If any of you grew up in the 50's or possibly early 60's, you will like this book.

As far as satire goes, have you ever read Mark Twain's stories about tramping through Europe, staying in Heidelberg and that horrid language, German? They are soooo funny.

Europe is fun, beautiful and it does have its' bad sides just like every place else in the world. Depends on what you are looking for. Look for the good stuff and that is what you will find, look for the bad, and voilà! there it is, all over the place. Well, that is my philosophy of travel in a nutshell.

Bryson's book really was quite funny, but it certainly appealed to my cynical side! I definitely don't want to be one of those tourists who travel abroad with unrealistic expectations. I have to admit my preconceptions come from romantic books and movies like "...Tuscan Sun," "A Very Good Year" and even "Gigi!" So I hope to find the Europe that treasures tradition, history and culture while living well! I could use a break from pop culture, political upheaval and economic turmoil!

Sorry Laura but Bill has returned to his American roots after living across the pond. He lives in New England (New Hampshire I believe). He is a great writer. Bill you will have a great tour. Your only regret will be that it wasn't long enough!

Audrey - Bill returned to America for a while, but he has now moved back to the UK and he lives in Norfolk. He is the new President of the Campaign to Protect Rural England.

Don't forget that Bill Bryson is a satire/humor writer. He's going for laughs and shocks and dropped mouths. Sure you get some rude waiters and indifferent locals and there are definitely pickpockets and some streets in old town centers are a little dirty. And sure, if you eat in touristy restaurants you will pay a lot of money and might get a bad meal, but overall I would say Bryson's book is a funny exaggeration. I had a lot of romanticized ideals and I would say Europe largely lived up to all of them, for me. I wouldn't worry :) I love Bill Bryson but I wouldn't take him too seriously.

I will second Debra on that. We all have experiences that are somewhat negative... satirists like Bill Bryson just do a great job of over-accentuating them. I have loved my travels, and like Bill Bryson I find that the few negatives I have experienced make for great stories!

Bill, I haven't read Bill Bryson's book, but I believe what you can expect is an amazingly awesome trip! Your guide will steer you around the rude waiters, long lines, and pickpockets. Your hotels will be nice family run places in the center of town, not seedy, and your meals provided by the tour will be awesome and restaurants hand picked by the RS staff. Your guide will also be happy to give you suggestions for your meals on your own.

The only place I've encountered filthy streets was in Florence, but the positive attributes of the city more than make up for the filthy streets, gypsies and pickpockets!

Focus on the Positive and you'll have an awesome time!

Remember Bill Bryson is a humour writer and he has a very tongue-in-cheek British sense of humour (a note to all Americans: you are not having him back! He's ours now!). A lot of his humour is gentle teasing really.

I think all travellers would do well to remember that the places they travel to are just normal places full of normal people, they are not utopias. You know, the streets are dirty because the local council has run out of cash, the hotel is grubby because the staff are underpaid and the waitress is grumpy because she has PMS. I used to live in Somerset and once I was shopping in Bath and heard this tourist complain about the fact that all the locals were rushing around and were not in a mood to be friendly. It was 1pm on a weekday and the reason the locals were running around was because they were all trying to get everything done in their lunch hour before going back to work. I couldn't believe the woman had not realised this.

I think bad experiences tend to get magnified when we travel. I deal with rude/incompetent shop assistants/waiters/receptionists all the time in my normal life and I don't think about it. If it happens abroad I know it sticks in my mind.

Everything is relative. If you expect at or near a US stardards, you will be disappointed -- especially bathroom -- but that is a whole another issue. Remember so of the areas you will see are 3,000 years old and some of the new areas maybe a 1000. So expect a little wear and tear. It is different so try hard not judge it by your background.

Bill, you will have the time of your life. Feel free to leave your cynicism at home. Expect to be happily dazzled by all aspects of your two weeks. Fabulous, fabulous.

"I'm afraid my cynical side has been stirred. "

Packing tip #1- leave the above mentioned baggage at home.

Have a great trip!

Laura and Nancy thanks for correcting me. I can understand why BB returned to his second home across the pond. I'm glad he is trying to protect rural England and the delightful pubs of the villages.

Bill,

I haven't read anything by Bill Bryson, but I wouldn't be too concerned about his evaluation of Europe.

What should you expect on your first trip to Europe? In many ways it will be "different" to what you're used to. The food will be a bit different, the people will be a bit different and of course the languages will be different. If you're a bit flexible and adaptable, none of this should be a problem.

You might want to consider the philosophy of someone who is possibly more versed in European travel than Bill Bryson, for those of us from North America. A few quotes:

"Give a culture the benefit of your open mind. See things as different but not better or worse."

"Be fanatically positive and militantly optimistic. If something's not to your liking, change your liking."

"Travel changes people. It broadens perspectives and teaches new ways to measure quality of life."

It's great that you're taking a RS "Best of Europe" tour, as I can't think of a better way to experience your first trip to Europe. Rick's Guides and Drivers are exceptional, and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful trip!

BTW, the quotes were from Rick's travel philosophy.

Happy travels!

Bill, let me tell you a little story about my adventures in Japan. I went there with the intention of visiting a friend and staying with her. She decided to tell me, after I had already booked the flight, that she would not be able to accommodate me after all for various reasons. I decided to go anyway, but was left to fend for myself in a foreign country where I did not speak the language.

Some of the other things that happened while I was abroad:
- I lost an earring. The pair was hand made by my mother.
- I got sick, and spent 2 days in bed.
- My suitcase broke on the way to the train station. When I got to my next destination, I had to buy a new one.
- I lost my passport, and my return to the States was delayed by several days. That cost money.
- I lost a friend. She came out to see me on her day off, and we fought all day. Coupled with her incredibly rude behavior even before I had set foot in Japan, I decided to cut her out of my life.

Knowing all this, do you think I would ever return to Japan again? And the answer is YES! A thousand times yes. It was the best trip ever! Beautiful scenery, modern cities, great food, amazing people. In fact, I still keep in touch with some of the people I met over there.

When I look back at my time in Japan, I only remember the positive things about it. The negatives might make for fun stories, but they will never be enough to scare me away from traveling.

Don't focus on the negative. Remember, you are traveling! Be happy for the experience and enjoy it.

Eren - I think I can beat you to the 'horrible holiday story' crown. During my first visit to America I got attacked by an insane dog on my second day there. When I screamed at the owner to help me he turned his gun on me (I was terrified as I had never seen a gun before) and just stood there watching. I eventually escaped, but the police were utterly useless and could not find out whether the dog had a rabies certificate so I spent a couple of days wondering whether I was about to die from rabies. The police would not even take the dog away and it attacked five other people including an elderly lady who was badly hurt.

To add insult to injury I had mainly bought shorts and skirts with me so had to walk around with massive dog teeth holes in my legs. Mind you, it was an icebreaker...

I would go back to America though! I find people prefer to hear this story rather than my stories about all the nice things.

He generalizes alot and sterotypes too. Remember he is a writer and writes for an audience not to affect your decisions on travel. My best vacations have been in Europe which I have been enjoying now for 50 yrs. I plan on enjoying more trips until I can't afford or move anymore.
Go and be assured you will love it and its grandeur!

Laura - LOL! That story definitely beats mine. I'm sorry to say this, because what happened to you was unfortunate, but it is a hilarious story.

I'm glad you have the right attitude about it though. Not all Americans own guns and keep rabid dogs! At least I don't. Maybe you should visit California, in many ways it feels like a different country altogether.

Thanks for all the great replies! I appreciate the very diverse perspectives. We are so looking forward to our trip.

To Laura in London, I sincerely apologize for my countryman's behavior! We're not all gun-toting vicious dog owners here in the Colonies!

Bill,

Good for you! I'm glad we can help. By the way, I think it is safe to assume that most people who are interested in traveling probably won't fall into the "gun-toting vicious dog owners" category.

Having your expectations lowered is not a bad thing. For example I often find that I enjoy movies that get bad reviews because I go in not expecting to enjoy them, and then they exceed my very low expectations. I should add that Europe is much better than a bad movie.

Bryson is a fine writer--and I actually like that book a great deal--but keep in mind his 'voice' is a witty, too-cool to be impressed cynical middle-aged guy who's been around the block. That doesn't mean he doesn't have a point about crass plastic Disney-style tourism and the cheapness of it all. But that's the worst of it. I'm a middle-aged too-cool fairly witty guy myself...and when I'm in Europe, I never fail, at some point, to turn into a giddy little kid mesmerized by what we're experiencing. You'll have a great time, if you're open to it, Bill.

I love Bill Bryson and have read several of his books, but everyone is right that he exaggerates for humor's sake. He has written similar books about Britain, the US, the Appalachian Trail, and Australia. All are very funny, and of course there is some element of truth in all of them, but there is a lot of exaggeration - bad experiences make for great stories. Don't worry too much, and reread "Neither Here nor There" when you come home. I've found that his books are 10 times funnier once I've been to the places he describes.

I think you are ALL missing the point of Bill Bryson-if something awful happens to you on a trip you turn it into a funny story! And, Gio, I don't think he's at all the "too cool cynical traveler"-that's Paul Theroux. I do agree with Jo-you cannot read him in a public place without some risk.

I think I have read all of Bill Bryson's books. Absolutely love them. I was also at a book reading he had. He was asked if the incidents in his books were true. He responded by telling about the fellow in his first book - I think his name was Steve, but not his real name. He called Bill and had a good laugh. Said, but of course it was all fiction. Bill reminded him of several incidents in the book and asked if they happened. Steve responded, "Yes they did, but it's the way you telll them!"

Go and enjoy your trip. As someone said, if you have bad experiences, see them through Bill's eyes and put it down to experience and what makes a trip memorable.

Europe is not utopia but it does have great history and culture and a lot of great people.

I've run into rude Europeans and rude Americans but also many wonderful people in both places.

I like to travel in the shoulder season to avoid Disneyesque lines and crowds. The most popular places can get really crowded in summer.

For the most part the further North you go, the cleaner everything is kept (notable exception A'dam). The further South, the more you will notice a need for some cleaning.

Depending on what your standards are for lodging, you may be disappointed. I'm not picky and have stayed in a lot of great low-cost pensions, B&B's, hostels and budget hotels. I've also stayed in some pretty miserable places (including some that weren't cheap). If you really want an American style hotel with ensuite bathroom, you should consider taking a big company tour. Their lodging choices seem to cater to Americans.

You will probably see a combination of old-world charm and seediness. Often drug addicts congregate near train stations which are walking distance from great cathedrals and city walls. Parks may have incredible fountains but also groups of goths or drunk hooligans.

A RS tour will probably be a great experience for you and traveling in September will keep the crowds managable. Don't take off your rose colored glasses until you have to.

Bill Bryson is lecturing on April 2 in Des Moines, his hometown. The bio which accompanied the announcement of the lecture says he's the chancellor of the University of Durham in England.

I had a a romantic preconception before I went to Europe and still have one after 3 trips. I hope I always keep it. Go with a good attitude and you will come back with some stories of your own. Have a fantastic time.

Hi Bill,

I had a similiar situation though not with Europe..

Since I was a child I dreamed of going to the South Pacific. It was always #1 on my travel list..Moorea, Bora Bora, etc.

I read Blue Latitudes and was so troubled by what I read as it was FULL OF NEGATIVITY and I hought....is this just some fantasy I created in my head??

Well, I decided that I would be judge of that..

I went to the South Pacific..spending quite a bit of time there...and it was as beautiful as I always invisioned. What the writer saw was not what I saw or experienced

I've traveled throughout the world, I have always listened to others perceptions, advise, suggestions and of course warnings..
but I've always made my own choices and followed my own instincts on what is best for me.

Regarding Europe Travel...a couple of years ago when we did extensive Eastern Europe I called Rick Steves office and spoke with Cameron Hewitt and while I have a BIG RESPECT FOR HIM, his knowledge and his generosity of spirit...As the coauthor of the Eastern Europe book he suggested I spend less time in Bratislava and didn't quite give it much praise...well, you know what....I LOVED Bratislava and yes it's not Cesky Krumlov..but I trusted my travel instincts and didn't cut a day off of our stay..and it was the best decision for us!!!
So, just because someone is an expert, doesn't mean that they should be blindly followed!

and Bill one last thing...I've traveled to France the past 6 years to a total of about 42 days and I have never encounter a rude person there!

Buon Viaggio!

I have read and loved all of Bill Bryson's books. They are really funny and interesting. However, in no way should you expect to have the same experiences he has. I have been to Europe several times and loved every single day of every single trip. You will find things in Europe that you will never see in the U.S. Don't be prepared for perfection, just expect to learn a lot and see many new and different and facinating things.

I have read and loved all of Bill Bryson's books. They are really funny and interesting. However, in no way should you expect to have the same experiences he has. I have been to Europe several times and loved every single day of every single trip. You will find things in Europe that you will never see in the U.S. Don't be prepared for perfection, just expect to learn a lot and see many new and different and facinating things.