Feeling Guilty?

I understand how you feel. You've worked hard for this trip and should not feel guilty about enjoying it--volunteer or donate to worthy organizations at home when you can and it might help alleviate some of the guilt. I think that meeting and talking to people of other cultures goes a long way toward making the world a better place--you're doing your part.

Interesting, poverty is nothing new, did you feel guilty about travel a few years ago, when the majority of say , Ethiopians living well below the poverty line were dying by the thousands of starvation and disease?

Knowing that I am spending enough on one trip that could keep a family alive for a year in a third world country. yes, that does make me feel guilty sometimes.

Guilt over what is happening now in the States, no , sorry I don't. There are too many differences in the situations.

One is free will and choice. There are countries in the world where girls are left to raise babies, their men taken to war or killed in tribal fighting, even their sons over 10 or 11 are taken. In these places the average level of education puts the majority of the population below what we would even consider functionally literate and they may still not even know the basic hygiene needed to prevent spread of common illnesses.
They are born to poverty, no escape from war, drought and famine.

Sorry , as bad as the sitution is for some people in North America, it does not compare. No one told them to buy expensive houses, or get loans for cars or boats , or have a tv in every room.

I have never subscribed to the idea that debt of any kind was ok, my husband and I paid off our first house by 30 as fast as we could. We do not buy fancy cars on loans , we paid for stuff we want, old fashioned, yes, but guess what, we can watch what is happening, and not be scared that we are next.
We worked for our trips,and while my friend has to drive a new model car each year, and just keeps trading up substaining a rolling debt,, we drive cars that are a few years old, but ours.

I am sorry for the children that are affected, but I do have faith in Americans ability to pull through it , and I believe that anyone can rise up out of any mess in America, if they work hard, and try hard. I do not think that in some countries this is true.

If you feel that guilty, why not cut back the length of your trip and give the resulting savings to a homeless shelter or a charity?

Olivia, by traveling, you're actually helping the economy around the world.

You buy tickets here and help the airline make money to pay its employees. You stay in hotels and eat in restaurants helping those establishments stay in business and employ others. Buying souvenirs helps not only the seller but the manufacturer as well.

And who knows, if enough Americans travel overseas, then some of the workers who benefit might travel here for their vacations and spend money.

It's great to give to others in need. I do it. But it's even better to do what you can to stimulate the economy so businesses start hiring and give jobs to those out of work.

And if you still feel guilty...spend 5 weeks in Europe and 5 weeks traveling the U.S. Spend half the money here.

Olivia, I am glad you brought this up. I was having a really hard time purchasing my airline tickets. I filled with so much guilt of spending money for my 2 week trip with my son when my brother and his family is struggling fiancially. But, I figured a worked hard for my money and will never have the chance for a special "mother and son" trip again. (Leaves for college in less then two years. Frank's comments made alot of sense, something I never thought of. Though I am flying British Airway, not an American airline company.

Very good question because I feel that push/pull too. To reiterate a little of what Frank said - I have had two experiences that have showed me how pulling back effects people on the most basic level. While in Mexico a little while after a major hurricaine (Hugo maybe??), I took a tour with a guide named Cesar. He was an absolute blast, but in one of his serious moments he basically said "come down to Mexico, we will show you a good time, don't worry about the past effects of the hurricaine - after that happened I ate tuna from a can for a week because there were no American tourists and no money to be made." Similarly in Italy - we took a wine tour from a very gracious man named Franco...his income depends on a constant flow of tourists. Without it, within a very short time - bills go unpaid. I think the concept is true internationally and domestically. We need to make good choices and not extend credit to have a good time, but not so much that we inadvertantly affect those around us whose jobs depend on our need/desire for their service. You just have to find that balance of charitble giving and utilizing services when it makes sense for you to do so.

I wouldnt. And Dont. I booked and paid for a flight and trip to London for a week in December. I can't really even afford that but I work hard for my money and deserve a vacation, since I havent had one in 4 years!

AND I am going alone, no kids (no guilt), no husband (still no guilt). Planning on some Christmas shopping whilst there(I never have shopping guilt..lol)

Guilt for doing something you have always dreamed of? Guilt for spending quality time creating memories with the people you love? Guilt for spending your hard earned money seeing the world?

Yes, or course. I think it's Human Nature.
What should you do about it?

Make sure you Enjoy Every Single Moment of the Journey !!

I don't feel guilty about taking European trips. I'm aware that other people are less fortunate than I, and give a lot to charity. I agree with what Sylvia said above. I travel with family and friends and we all have great memories to share. I also feel that I am a better, more informed citizen of the world, and of course contributing to the global economy. I hope to be fortunate enough to keep on traveling next year.

As long as you're spending money you have rather than money you're borrowing and can't repay, you're helping some employee somewhere keep his job and stay out of a tent.

That said, this probably is a time to be spending $ at home for the sake of domestic jobs and our own economy.

We were in France a few months ago and the b and b owners/small innkeepers were so glad to see us because business is so down--few Americans and fewer tourists from other European countries, too. So by traveling you are doing your part to keep those people in business.

But I definitely know what you mean. I feel a little guilty anytime I buy new clothes, go out for an expensive meal, or travel. I think the thing to do is just be as thoughtful and generous as you can with charity, and allow yourself some luxuries in life.

Olivia, with Christmas soon approaching, perhaps you could consider the World Vision 'Smiles' catalogue. You buy, for example, farm animals, water, education etc for needy areas, particularly in Africa, for your friends/family, instead of the traditional gifts. That might help you feel better about your personal expenditure, which you have no doubt saved for for a long time, and gone without many things so that you could have that holiday. Tourism is a major part of the economy for many many countries (mine included), which is obviously important to maintain. The domino effect can be devastating when an area of the economy is vastly reduced.

I don't feel guilty, I feel grateful for the opportunity to travel.

I grew up in San Diego and traveled often to Tijuana and beyond. Poverty ran rampant South of the border. Even at that age it made me grateful for the things I had.

We traveled through the Midwest and visited Indian Tribes who lived in much the same conditions.

I was left with two impressions from these early life experiences:

First, most Americans tend to harp about what we don't have, rather than be grateful for all that we have.

Second, even in the worst possible economic situations, I saw happy, close-knit families. People with ten kids living in cardboard boxes and playing with toys that came from other people's garbage had smiles on their faces. They weren't wailing, they were laughing. I realized then that not only does money not buy happiness, money isn't a substitute for happiness.

I second the call to donate to charities that feed the poor. My personal choices are Salvation Army and local missions.

I agree with what most of the posters have said - especially Pat. If you are going to feel guilty, feel guilty about the people who are truly living in poverty and have no real hope for the near future. Most Americans who are having issues at the moment are where they are because of choices they made. Life doesn't deal us each a fair deck, but at some point you have to quit blaming your parents and your childhood and start making smart decisions about your own life. If you chose to buy a house you couldn't afford, a car you couldn't afford, and used credit cards to make up the difference then that is your own fault and there is NO WAY I'm feeling guilty for you. I live in a 600 square foot apartment while my wife and I save for a house and saved for our month in England this past summer (paid in cash). Meanwhile others in my position were busy buying great "things". We all make choices and I don't feel guilty about mine.

Cary, I think you are over generalizing when you say that "most" who are in financial straits now are there because of choices they made. In many cases that is true. However, companies who move jobs to foreign countries, putting people here out of work have contributed, too. And when people don't have as much discretionary income they cut back on things like eating out, causing restaurants to lay off workers they don't need or cut back hours to a level where their workers can't support their families. And the ripples go on and on. Lots of people have problems because of things that are totally beyond their control. My job was sent to Mexico. Fortunately, I have enough seniority at my job to have been moved to another area -- but there are no guarantees that my new area will be here in a year, either. That's not my fault. I haven't made bad choices. I'm fine for now, but for how long? Some people aren't victims -- but there are many who are.

Much in life depends just on luck. We don't like to admit that because it shows a lack of control. We feel virtuous that we are doing well through hard work and good money management. It can all go to hell real fast. So sieze the day and go to Europe!

A question for all of you-do you lie or fudge to friends/relatives/co-workers about how you can afford to go to Europe? Some people are very resentful, although those same people often drop $50 at restaurants a few times a week. Or sign their kids up for every expensive activity. If you point that out to them, they don't like that. Ever notice that OTHER people make bad money choices! I told employees that my mom was paying for most of the trip, when we split it 50/50.

Olivia, one more thing. Credit is really tightening up, so you should have as much saved for your trip as possible. Even if you were going to pay off cc's immediately, you may find cc limits have been lowered. Putting money in a separate checking account and using that debit card may work for you.

Nancy,

I feel like the original post is regarding the current crisis. The current crisis was created by people living beyond their means. I know that not everyone is in a privileged position - and as a teacher who is married to a teacher, I don't consider us that "privileged". But we do make conservative choices with our money. I feel like the original poster wasn't feeling guilty about those who are always in poverty, it was more about feeling guilty that there are a lot of people hurting today. If you look at things from a macro-perspective, most people aren't losing their homes, but there are a lot of people in ARMs,etc. who are where they are because they made unwise choices.

Cary, I understand what you are saying, but the current crisis wasn't caused only by people living beyond their means. I haven't, and I don't. I make conservative choices, too. That doesn't change the fact that my very good job with its wonderful benefits, where I have been for 23 years, could disappear next week through no fault of my own. Even conservative choices don't change that. But cutting back on spending in anticipation that that could happen means that I am not spending at restaurants, stores, and other places that depend on business from people like me. I'm just saying that while the current crisis here doesn't equate to poverty worldwide, not everyone who is hurt by it is to blame, nor could they have prevented it.

Regardless of any over-simplification or broad-stroke painting I might have done (and I admit I did generalize), my larger point is still the same...I don't feel guilty about spending the money I have saved to take my trip. If I was to feel guilty, I would never be able to do anything because no matter what the economy is like, there is always someone who is in desperate straights somewhere.

And even though there are things in life beyond our control, our ability to deal with them also comes from choices we make. If you spend everything you have (or more than you have) on things you don't "need" and then are in a financial crisis when unexpected things occur, then that is a matter of choice as well. I have an emergency fund with enough money to last 6-8 months in case something untimely happens. Despite what our culture says, new flat screen televisions, new cars, iPhones, iPods, PS3s, Wiis, even cable television are not necessities - they are luxuries. There are people in this country who don't have these things and have never had these things and are still struggling - but those people were struggling before and no one was feeling too guilty about traveling.

That is my point, if you are willing to travel, you are willing to be a part of a luxury item when there are people in poverty all over the world. If I'm going to feel guilty, I feel guilty about that - not people with means who are having a tough time right now but were living it up 2 years ago.

I'm almost feeling guilty going over Dec 1. With all this stuff going on..but hey..might as well go...don't know what next year will bring. Glad I'm not alone

You know folks, what I am really feeling right now is just a tad po'd .. I had to buy euros at $1.63 for this last trip I had in July, ,, so the next thread I see on any travel forum that proclaims " Dollar now $1.38 to euro" may make me puke...LOL

Does anyone going this season and paying only $1.40 for their euros feel guilty , , or sorry for all us travellers who had to pay so much more,, no,, I thought not,, LOL

I don't feel guilty right now, no. There have been times in my life when I had less money, and times when I have had more. The money I will be spending will be helping the global economy.

May I, as an European, chime into this conversation?
I truly believe that travel has value far beyond the money it costs.
And I believe that giving money to charities isn't going to resolve the huge challenges in the USA, even though you should do some of that too.
The greatest difference will be made by involvement, by participating in your democracy. And the value of taking a look at societies other than the American one, will give you perspectives which will be of HUGE value!

And I really do not believe that the current crisis was caused by the poor, rather by the sharks who profited from selling them the promise of the American dream!

Pat,

Maybe the thread should have been, "I'm planning for a 10-week trip to Europe next summer. I feel guilty about all the people who went this summer and paid so much for the Euro." LOL.

In general, I agree with Cary. The only thing we can control is our own behavior. If we're making sound financial decisions with the money we have, we shouldn't feel guilty.

I had a friend in high school who lived in a very upscale neighborhood in San Diego. His dad was a San Diego Transit bus driver. His mom was a stay-at-home mom. They never earned a big salary but were careful with their money and became very comfortable, if not rich, through savings, investments and personal thrift.

Olivia,

As a resident of Reno, I felt compeled to respond to your post. The problem of the homeless here is not a new one. I've lived here for over 30 years, and "Tent City" is just the latest incarnation of the problem. In fact, Tent City was set up by the city as a method to deliver health care and social services to the homeless that otherwise might have been unavailable. In the past ten days the city has also opened up a new family center, and many residents of Tent City have already been relocated to this new facility. Most of the rest will be relocated to the Reno Gospel Mission and other facilities before winter sets in and Tent City will be dismantled.

I suggest you continue planning your Europe trip for next summer, as I am, but do what you can in your own community about the homeless problem, as we are doing in ours.

Marcus
Reno, NV

Olivia - I appreciate your sensitivity and yes admit that sometimes I feel guilty for buying clothes, eating out, travel, etc. Whenever that happens - I remind myself that I am supporting the economy worldwide by my purchases of goods and services. I also remind myself that my family gives over 10% of our income to charity and pays a ton in taxes - that usually takes care of my case of the guilts -not to mention we work hard for what we have.

thank you, marcus, for updating me on the "tent city". your city is doing a good job of helping these economically-stricken families, whether they are there thru their own fault or not.

we already have tickets for our trip next summer, so, chances are, we are going.

thank y'all for sharing your thoughts here. yes, i agree cancelling a trip will not save the world. but as you all have mentioned in one form or other, one should cultivate a social conscience. no man is an island, and we affect the world, and are affected by what happens around us.

wow, you pulled up an old thread Paul. In answer to your loan comment... no one who makes 45,000 dollars a year should be getting a loan( mortgage) for a house that costs 800,000 and they can't even put down a decent down payment,, they should have started more realistically to begin with, yes, banks allowed stupid situations, but people do need to think for themselves too. Be realistic, and start small. No one needs three cars, a swimming pool, or even trips to Europe , and alot of people who were crushed by the recent economic crash were not the dead poor, but those who considered themselves middle class, and had over confidence in their ability to pay off debt that was way beyond their reasonalbe ability to deal with. So , once again, no , I don't feel guilty, we worked for years, started SMALL and worked our way up, we never bought into the sense of entitlement that some people seemed to develope,, that they deserved all the bells and whistles right off the bat. No one NEEDS a million dollar apartment.

Pat, I agree with your (first) post wholeheartedly. Do I feel guilty? NO. Blessed? ABSOLUTELY!
My husband and I work hard and save so we can take these trips. A lot of people that I work with don't have the income to take cool trips like I do, so I don't flaunt it. (But they're the same people who buy their lunch everyday.) But people are always asking me, "Where's your next trip to?" And then I happily divulge...

Oh, Pat, I really like your post from 1/16 at 5:53pm. You're saving me from the work of having to type my opinion! ;)

I'm just curious - is no one else bowled over by Olivia's good fortune at being able to take a 10-week trip to Europe? You are incredibly fortunate, Olivia, and it's good to hear that you realize how fortunate you are and don't take it for granted.
Have a great trip!

As Pat pointed out and no one picked up on.... This posting is nearly 2 1/2 years old!!!!!!!! Why was it resurrected in the first place?

How do we know Olivia even took this trip? Perhaps she was so guilt-ridden that she cancelled and joined a convent in the middle of nowhere India. It's just speculation, but who knows...we are talking about a couple of years ago. I think it was Frank on the other thread who said this was weird then and is still weird now...agree.