The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
Posted by
Seattle
908 posts
I do love John Cleese! :-)
Posted by
Bloomington, IL, USA
9363 posts
My TomTom has the voice of John Cleese. In addition to giving the regular directions, it says things like "turn around when possible so you are facing in the opposite direction of the direction you are facing....now". And when you arrive at your destination you hear this, "You have reached your destination. You may get out now, but I'm not going to help you carry your bags. From now on, you're on your own."
Posted by
Atlanta, Georgia
565 posts
That's hilarious. I sent it to some friends in Paris who forwarded it some other friends in Germany and it started all kinds of taunting. It made for a great Monday distraction from getting any real work done :) Thanks!
Posted by
La Crescenta, California, USA
361 posts
Those are hilarious but I prefer the "crayon box of colors" threat levels. When you were a kid and you opened up that box of crayons and gazed upon those little waxy sticks of red, yellow, blue, green, brown, black, etc. Now that is another way to administer threat levels.
Posted by
XXX
1170 posts
According to Snopes, this was not written by John Cleese! I became a bit confused by the American spelling and decided to do a search. Still quite funny though.