disabled access to the opera or similar

Do you have a handicap placard for parking? The documentation that comes with the placard identifying you as the holder of the placard may suffice.

It would help to know which opera house you’re having trouble booking with.
In the Netherlands for instance, every theater/music/opera venue has dedicated seats and space available for wheelchair users. In general these seats can only be reserved by phone or e-mail, not online. You are however not required to show your disability ID card here. That’s why it’s helpful to know at what venue you’ve encountered these issues.

• don't know if this would help

https://thecardproject.uk/international-disability-identification-card-worldwide-disabled-assistance#:~:text=Who%20Should%20Get%20an%20International,in%20airports%2C%20stations%2C%20and%20hotels*

Just getting in the door could be tricky.

The question cant be answered because every country and every city and every house is going to be unique. If the Budapest Opera is on your list, I can walk across the street and "maybe" facilitate your attendance.

We have traveled extensively in Europe with my disabled son, who uses a special needs stroller. We are US citizens and also do not have a disability ID card. When we have needed special seating or accommodations at a venue, I have been able to e-mail or contact the site directly and explained the situation and the specific needs. Look on the venue's website for an accessibility contact (many places will have one). Or use the customer service contact information. We've always had our requests met, even without an ID card, and all places/people have been super helpful.

Unfortunately the question framed as "European" is very broad.

Every country is different and within these many venues do things differently.

My wife is visually, mobility and cognitively disabled and I research every country we drive to and every museum or other venue before travelling there.

Now EU narrows it down to around 26 countries, and Schengen would narrow it further, but if you could share a bit of your itinerary we may be able to help further.

Then there are the edge conditions - the EU design blue badge parking placard from the UK is valid in the Netherlands. That didn't stop an operative from Hoofddorp police from giving me a 310€ parking ticket for using a "not valid parking pass" in a disabled space at a rest area on the A4 near Schiphol airport. My wife needs those spaces so she can safely use her mobility aids - as I am sure you can relate. So a ticket when parked lawfully.

After going to the police and complaining and being told it was a completely different department, they took photos of the evidence and the ticket and told me not to worry. If a ticket was coming it would be less than a month they told me. That was in May - no ticket yet.

All just to say, things aren't all they seem to be.

But if you can let us know cities and venues there are loads of locals on here who will help.

Good luck. I'm with you.

Thanks for all the responses. I will try again.

To answer where: I struck out at La Scala in Milan yesterday and in Madrid and Barcelona in the Spring. I sent an inquiry to the opera Garnier in Paris last week but haven't heard back yet.

I do have a blue shield for my car which I take with me when I travel. But, according to the Ontario DMV, I cannot copy it or photograph it with my details to send to a venue (understandable as I'm sure they're trying to prevent fraudulent use).

All that said, I will try the direct call thing. I have been successful in Berlin and in Vienna, but that was some time ago, before venues started asking for a disabled ID.

Thanks again everyone.

The below came in my email this week for the Opera House in Budapest. It doesn’t speak specifically to BUYING the ticket, but that it does have solutions.

I did not see this in time to physically look at the seating on the third floor last night, but I can verify you can access the third floor by elevator with no steps once inside the lobby. I just didn’t notice where a seat would be with no steps once you are on the third floor. There are steps to the lobby outside, so you would need a side entrance.

Accessibility:
The Zsöllye, as well as our disabled box on the same floor and the accessible bathroom, can be reached by elevator from Dalszínház Street. The 3rd floor is also accessible from both sides using the elevators.
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Yeah, that’s a common issue. Many European venues only recognize local or EU disability cards. You can usually email the venue directly with proof like a doctor’s note or photo of your wheelchair, and they’ll manually approve accessible seating. It just takes more back-and-forth.

The seat and the elevator are only part of the issue. We are very blessed to live in the US where accessibility is almost universal. People have no idea until they attempt to traverse almost any other place in the world. Even our newly renovated accessible opera house does not begin to conform to the minimum US standards for accessibility. Just the act of telling a person that they have to enter by the side door would get you in trouble in the US. I went to google street view to look at the front door ... well ... it just reminded me of how lucky I am to live here: https://maps.app.goo.gl/DJZdrjCeD8Y8Vecy7

I have been successful in Berlin and in Vienna

Glad to hear about your success in Berlin. And still work to do in this topic.

For other readers:: Berlin has two pages for people interested in accessibility for visitors:
Accessible Berlin: https://www.visitberlin.de/en/accessible-berlin
Accessible Sights: https://www.berlin.de/en/attractions-and-sights/accessible-sights/

I will try to find out which is the right ministry in Germany to care for this topic. This problem is so often reported that it either has already a solution we do not know or needs a solution for the future.