Daughter traveling alone...need advice

Where does she want to visit?

In general, Europe is as safe or safer than the U.S. I assume the girl has a head on her shoulders and knows not to get drunk/go home with strange men/wear flashy jewelry, etc. If she employs the usual common sense strategies for visiting a big city, she'll be fine. She should definitely use a moneybelt.

She will be fine. She has to be a smart traveler. I took several solo trips when I studied in Europe. Suggest that she stay in youth hostels. She'll meet other young people who are likely going to the same sights. It will be a great experience for her.

Pam

Hi Steven, yes, she will be fine. Europe is safer then here and I know that Cincinnati has some high crime rate. If she uses her common sense like she does in Cincinnati then she'll have a great time. Where does she want to go? That would help us to help you better.

I bought my 20-year old niece a copy of "Europe Though the Back Door" for her recent trip to Europe--it covers the basics!

Where she should go depends on what she is interested in. Budapest, Salzburg,
Italy, the UK, Paris, ... it all depens on her! If she is sensable she will be as safe as she is in any city in the US and safer than in many.

I was relieved to see that this thread didn't start with "I just saw the movie 'Taken'..."

Both of my daughters spent a year in europe and returned before they were twenty and at the appointed time.

One bit of advice: have her make all reports to her mother who will relay what she wants to you -- fathers do not need first-hand information about anything -- we need it filtered.

I have 3 daughters who've each traveled Europe and done fine. I just gave them Dad's one rule to remember: "Nothing good ever happens after midnight." I'd have been more worried about them if they'd been going to Cincinnati.

Steven,

While there are never any guarantees, in all likelihood your daughter will be fine travelling on her own. Many other young women have done the same thing without any problems.

However, a few points to mention. A previous reply mentioned the Guidebook Europe Through The Back Door. I think that should be an essential pre-read before she goes to Europe. Pay special attention to the Rail Skills chapter, and I believe there's a section devoted to "Women travelling solo" as well. Use of a Money Belt would be a really good idea, but be sure to tell her to wear it properly under the clothing, unlike several young tourists from the U.S. that I observed last year in Italy who were wearing their Belts externally! I was going to say something to them, but figured it would like "talking to a brick wall", so didn't bother.

You might find that having her travel with at least a basic Cell Phone would provide some "peace of mind" for you and your wife. There are lots of posts here on the topic but if you need further details, post another note. I always travel with a Cell phone and sending brief texts to family back home is relatively inexpensive (even when using roaming).

If her travels after leaving the group are well planned, that will help to minimize any "unexpected problems".

Staying in HI Hostels should be quite safe. As they're part of a chain and have to meet certain standards, there's more structure and therefore they're not "party Hostels".

As a parent myself, I can certainly appreciate your concerns. I was a bit worried when two of my Sons went overseas (including one who went to the U.K. at 18-years old); it's often a "leap of faith" letting children explore the world on their own.

Good luck!

Thanks for your wonderful responses! She is presently in Pittsburgh, so basically what many of you said about Cincinnati would also apply to Pittsburgh.

Some well-traveled family members have suggested one of these two itineraries:
Bruges and Amsterdam or Vienna and Salzburg.

Any feedback on these two places?

Ed, I had to laugh when I read your advice. I have been filtering my daughters' words to my husband for years. Then I, in turn, discuss his opinions before he talks to them. Sometimes he needs a filter so he won't come up with some totally sexist response or concern, such as if it is safe for a young woman to travel in a modern, civilized country. Fathers, sometimes when left to their own devices, can unintentionally undermine the confidence and autonomy of their girls. Several times on this helpline I have read questions from fathers about the safety of their daughters, but never their sons. I think a 20 year old college student is old enough to both keep herself safe and decide where to travel.

Terry, Terry, Terry...I also read...out-loud...Ed's response to my wife. Then, when your response appeared...I read that to my wife as well. She kept nodding her head!

Now, having said that, I have NOT talked to my daughter about this. I HAVE talked to several family members and friends. There has been general concern expressed about someone who is 20 years old traveling alone in Europe. The vast majority of these opinions expressed have come, curiously enough, from women.

My daughter is a highly intelligent young woman. She is attending college on a full tuition scholarship, is very independent, has held many leadership positions, and has a lot of common sense, Is it appropriate for me to ask whether it is safe for a young woman to travel alone in Europe? That question can be answered either way, I suppose. However, having said that, I will NEVER apologize for wanting my only child to be safe in a foreign country. If I come across as being sexist in that context...so be it! I do, however, appreciate your forthright response.

Vienna and Salzburg would be my choice of those you mentioned. Amsterdam is the one city where I'd not suggest she travel alone. Still too "tolerant" of certain things that I am uncomfortable with. Vienna and Salzburg are among my favorite place in Europe. Salzburg is almost beyond words and there are lots of good day trips she could do- including the Salt Mines, Hitler's Eagles Nest, Burchesgarten, the lakes, a Sound of Music tour, etc. Vienna has an atmosphere and attitude about taking life slowly- enjoy the moment that I love to revel in. From there she could also do a day trip by train to Budapest.

Steven, you have nothing to apologize for. You have all the right in the world to be worried and concerned about your daughter. That said, I would feel a lot better letting my daughter travel Europe before living on the campus of UC. My daughter went to Europe for a month long photojournlism field study with her university when she was 20, she traveled for two weeks before her field studies going to London, Paris, Milan, Rome, Florence, Prague, Amsterdam, I might of left out a couple of places. She had a great time and no trouble.

I think that she will be fine.

I would consider Vienna and Budapest. To do these well she could easily use nine days including travel time but they could also be done in a week.

Often those who are worried about a young woman traveling alone in Europe have either a)never been to Europe, or b)never travel alone. A woman I know told her father after her semester abroad, that she learned to never take any s**t from anyone. Not a bad life lesson.

Sadly, she's probably safer traveling in Europe then she is on a college campus today. Think about what has happened over the last few years :(

However, if I were single and 20 and could afford it I would try Spain! You might have her go read the blog done by Rick's daugther a few summers ago. She was 18? (You might not want to read it as a dad LOL! Nothing bad, but just reminders that "she's growing up") My other suggestion would be London or Paris. Higher $$ then Spain.

Two things - Yes, she can travel safely alone but No, I'd not immediately suggest Amsterdam as a great place for a young woman traveling alone.

This is ONLY based on my own daughter's experience while traveling with friends (all female). She thought it a little "creepy" the way men looked at them as they walked to their cheap hostel located - you guessed it - in the red-light district. So yes, it was not smart on her part to actually be walking around, at night, in that area - and she didn't feel truly unsafe, it just wasn't her favorite city to travel as a female. Because there are so many other wonderful options, I'd pick somewhere else.

Hi Steven,

this is an amazing opportunity for your daughter. I was her same age when I had the same experience, except my group went to Dusseldorf, Germany. I had actually purchased the plane tickets with an extended stay of two weeks in mind. By the end of the time with my school group I realized that I had not done nearly enough research about the trip at home prior to leaving the states. This was pre-internet days and I ended up chickening out and paying to change my tickets to come home with the rest of the group. I have regretted it since then.

I would encourage you to make sure that she does plan transportation, lodging (hostels are a fantastic place for her to meet others), scheduling, etc. before she leaves. If her plans change she can always make modifications over there, but I can tell you from first hand experience that it can be very overwhelming to be in a foreign country, using an unfamiliar transportation system not knowing anyone. I even spoke the language, but it was still overwhelming.

I hope that she has a wonderful trip and I hope that you are able to get some sleep at night while she is gone. :)

Hi Steven!

I studied abroad in the UK when I was 22 and extended my trip for two weeks by myself. My parents were skeptical, of course, but I called or wrote almost every day and shared my pictures frequently. This gave them peace of mind (I think). I stayed in hostels and made friends who I still keep in touch with on facebook (and when two of my new Italian friends visited Los Angeles last summer, I got to show them around and take them to Disneyland and the beach!). Honestly, nothing ever happened that was unsafe or awkward. I evaluated my situations and could make valid judgments. I even went to an Irish pub with new friends until morning, but I made sure to not drink too much and to stay with the crowds. Needless to say, I had the trip of a lifetime, and my parents are almost envious.

Since that trip was so successful, this summer I am spending two months in Europe by myself at age 25. I plan on staying in hostels and taking the trains and meeting as many international people as possible. Now my parents are skeptical about this extended trip, so I will help them out by bringing a netbook and an itouch with skype, free texting, and other communication essentials.

Everybody asks me if I am nervous or tells me I am brave. I'm neither - just adventurous. As other posters wrote, Europe is safe for your daughter as long as she keeps her wits about her. She will have a grand adventure. The only warning I need to give you is to be ready for years and years of fun stories after she returns.

Cheers,
Carrie

Steven,

Your daughter has already spent several semesters at college so she probably knows how to handle almost any situation that could arise. My daughter(17 at the time) spent 3 weeks traveling around Europe with my sister (24 at the time) and had a wonderful experience. Although they were together, I think they would also have been fine on their own. The only uncomfortable situations they had were because both of them are 6' tall and blonde (we are of German/Norwegian descent). In Germany and Austria they blended in but in Italy, France, and, surprisingly, London, they had some unwanted attention. They found it easy to make friends with other travelers almost everywhere, which offered them opportunities to do things in groups.

The only real downside to traveling alone is not having anyone to share the experience and memory making.

Parental concern on safety is only natural and genuine but after reading your description of your daughter, I would have every confidence in her being able to adapt. I went for the first time solo around the same age... I was 21 and was over there for 12 weeks in western Europe, two weeks with a family in north Sweden.."way up north" and the rest of the 10 weeks I was on my own in Germany and Austria (almost a week in London), staying in hostels and using the unlimited Eurail Youth Pass. I met numerous young women, any where from 17-25 in the hostels or on trains, either in pairs or solo, who were Dutch, German, English, French, Norwegian, Finnish, Greek, on my first two trips in my early twenties. How do the European girls handle the safety issue? It must be a concern on their part too, or is it? Or, are they different? If they can handle the safety concerns, so can your daughter.

The only overwhelming part was in West Berlin in terms of getting accomodations when I got there in July, where I finally stayed in a Pension instead of at the DJH hostel.

Hi,
Rock this side from Canada. Thanks for the useful information.

Rock

[url=http://gmail.com]gmail[/url]

Hi,
Rock this side from Canada.Thanks for the useful information.

Rock

gmail

Just my two bits. When I was 23 I travelled through a lot of Asia by myself. I was a little worried about it (but it was on my bucket list so to speak to travel on my own having been sheltered as a kid). It was beyond wonderful. When you travel alone, you are more aware of everything going on around you and you need to certainly plan and prepare. But I met people from all over the world and got to go places that I would not have had the chance to go if I'd been in a group. I ONLY have fabulous memories of doing it. Yes, my parents were worried and had me calling home to let them know I was alive, but it was great and not one bad thing happened. Steven - let her fly!

to all of you who have responded..

Thank you all for your wonderful and insightful responses! After reading and re-reading your suggestions, I feel soooo much better!

My daughter has decided to spend 4 days in Vienna and 3 days in Munich. And yes she will be by herself...and yes, Dad is down with all of this!

See... "an old dog can learn new tricks"!

Again, thank you all so much. As I have stated in the past...you, the wise sages of the Rick Steves Helpline, are a wealth of information!

hi Steven, you can ask your daughter to read the 'women traveling solo' article and 'safety' articles in the Travel Tips section of this website (clickable link on the top of each helpline page). Rick's guidebooks also offer plenty of sensible advice for all travellers.

Looks like you've already received plenty of responses to assuage your fears, but I still want to comment =).

I've been traveling all across Europe (and beyond) since I was about 17, almost always alone, and I'm still here haha. I also moved to France by myself (twice) and am now (at 25) living in Germany and doing graduate study here. I did the bulk of my solo travel at 19/20, and I think traveling alone is one of the most rewarding experiences a young person can have. That said, there are certainly places that are "easier" as a young woman traveling alone. I think she's made a good choice in Munich and Vienna--Germany, Austria and the Scandinavian countries are by far the easiest countries to be a woman traveling alone, I would say. A lot less "unwanted attention" which can get annoying in some places like Italy (though usually is really nothing more than an annoyance, but can still be uncomfortable sometimes if you're not used to it).

Also I have to say that although I've traveled all over the place (including Turkey) by myself sans problem, Amsterdam is one of the places I've been avoiding, although I definitely want to see the city. That's one place where the hostels have a reputation of being dirty, crazy, sleazy and not particularly safe. Probably largely due to the motives of most backpackers going to Amsterdam. Of course it's possible to avoid that, but not easy--as a young person with a small budget, you would be hard pressed to find other accommodation, and it would be difficult to meet fellow travelers not there just to "get into trouble." At least that's what I've heard, and why I still haven't seen Amsterdam--think I'm saving it for a non-solo trip with "real adults."

Camille - I haven't been to Amsterdam yet, but have many female friends who have travelled there alone. None of them had any real problems there and thoroughly enjoyed the city. They all stayed in (reasonably priced) hotels so that may have made the difference.

Steven - I hope your daughter has an amazing time. I first travelled solo when I was 19 and the experience really changed me (for the better!).

She's only got one week?? :)

I will reinforce what everyone else has already told you - she will be fine. She has less to worry about on a night train from Prague to Vienna than she does in the wrong neighborhood of an American city. I have been living in Europe since I was 23 (now I'm 26 and still here..)

One more suggestion about accommodation - has she heard of Couchsurfing.com? It's a travel community which allows you to be hosted by locals in the cities you travel to. I know as a father it can sound extremely sketchy, but the site is very well protected through a vouching and reference system. I have been using this as my only means of accommodation for the past 3 years, and to be honest I feel MUCH more secure with it than hostels. In a hostel, you never know who is sleeping in the bed next to you...with couchsurfing, it's not only free but vouch-safe.
If you have more questions about it, feel free to send me a message. If you don't feel comfortable with her being hosted, there are also very active groups in the major cities and she could join a meeting and meet people from all over the world, especially in Prague and Vienna.
I'm living in Liberec now, about an hour from Prague, so if she needs any other advice about the Cz, let me know!

I also have been using couchsurfing almost exclusively during my travels in the past year or so, and I have to agree that in general I feel much more secure when couchsurfing than when staying at (some) hostels. It's not always easy to find a host though, and staying with people who don't have references or who you don't feel good about just because you have no other option is where it could get a little bit iffy safety-wise.

Steven -

I have a 19yr old daughter who just took a solo drving trip from her college in Georgia to North Carolina, so I can truly appreciate your concern. I'm by no means a 20yr old (HA!), but when I had to go to Italy for a business trip, I went a couple of days early and celebrated my birthday in London alone. I love London and this was my 3rd visit, but the 1st time I went alone. I had no worries at any time while I did an MP3 walking tour of Westminster and traveled to and from my hotel.

Also, it's possible that she may be able to hook up with some others at the hostel who want to see the same things she does.

Beth
Near Cincinnati 4/9/10

P.S. Ive lived near Cincinnati for a LOOONNNGG TIMMMEE, and the crime rate really isn't THAT bad!

My daughter has reserved a place in hostels in Vienna and Munich. She did research, read reviews, and found places close to train stations. I have asked her many questions, sent her several links to websites, have forwarded a few of your comments as well, and shipped Rick Steves' books: "ETBD, Vienna and Munich guides, and his German Phrase Book.

Another positive thing for my wife and I is that she is getting lots of travel tips, questions answered, and lots of support from the folks at the University of Pittsburgh.

All in all...things are going well!