Cultural Greetings - Hand Shakes & Hugs & Kisses

I still remember my trip to Turkey back in 2007, and watching both the women and men kiss each other on both cheeks. It was especially sweet to see the teenage boys doing this with friends. I don't know if it is still prevalent there now, but it was very touching then.

Yes, we shake hands in France. Our go-to neighborhood restaurateur shakes our hands as we arrive. We shake hands entering a meeting with others. We kiss on the cheeks when we see people we do things with, friends or family. This includes people kissing others on the cheek every morning when they get to work. I don't know about the men working outside, but I'm sure they shake hands every morning, as they would entering a cafe.

This crossed my mind in part because of a thread where a few spoke to learning cultural norms as a way of being a good tourist. I think better to be cautious and seem a little out of the local culture then guess wrong and get socked in the jaw.

In the US, shaking hands is a formal greeting, mostly associated with business, but when meeting strangers formally. Hugs and kisses among family only. Then there is the whole guy greeting thing, high fives, fist bumps, side hugs, shoulder pats, etc. Women do it more subtly.

In many places in Europe, a tourist will not encounter the need, except for a few handshakes here and there, hugs or kisses almost never. If you stay in a place, get to know people, converse and interact with them often, maybe become friends, then the greeting come out.

Paul I will take you to visit family in North East Texas. You will be hugged till you want to vomit. But they will feed you chicken fried steak with cream gravy and spend 10 minutes getting to know you first.

Last December in Rome I was pretty surprised when a return visit to a restaurant warranted a kiss on both cheeks from our server. It happened a second time when I greeted a waitress I remembered from 5 years ago, she actually grabbed me for a double hug kiss. Ah well. And the appropriate small bow, even if you do it incorrectly, is considered polite in Japan in many situations, but that's a much longer discussion.

We're back from Covid's don't touch era, right?

First, I'm 66 and the handshake in the US was much more common during my career and even more so as I interacted with my Father's and Grandfather's friends. I remember a time I walked into a bar with my Dad and two siblings and it took us at least 10 minutes to shake hands with everyone that each of us knew.

Second, hugging was almost unheard of early in my career. This could have also been due to my working for a consertive, Southern company. As I approached the end of my career hugging had become common, as common as just shaking hands.

I traveled extensively around North and South America, Asia/Pacific and Europe during my career and always had to ask for local advice regarding handshakes, hugs, and cheek kisses. Cheek kisses were the most difficult as different cultues had different numbers and started on different cheeks. I rarely have more than service interactions (e.g. bar, hotel) now as a tourist, so I'm not sure what the cultural norm is today.

my destination in Buda

Mr E, I'm confused. Is that Buda, Hungary or Buda, Texas?

Interesting, Buda was right up the road from my previous home and my current home.

In the series 2 France episode of Eugene Levy's "Reluctant Traverler," they make a note of how in one area the greeting is three kisses and just a few miles away it switches to two kisses.

When I was younger and working in a creative industry in southern California, it was common to greet a member of the opposite sex--whom you knew-- with a kiss on the cheek. Now, they have to be careful of not being called out for sexual harrassment.

Unless it was someone I knew really well, I stuck to the handshake.

In the US, I find that hand shaking is not as common as it once was. It's now fist bumping.

Put hugging and kissing on the back burner for random encounters. Handshakes are the gold standard wherever you travel, including Japan. Learn the protocol for each country you visit. There is one. Opposite hand UNDER the extended hand, not over...that sort of thing.
Hugs and kisses may be appropriate if you are meeting someone with whom you have had telephone or business acquaintance, or a relative, but not a random stranger.
Fist bumps are for the bar, the ball game or casual interaction with a random stranger on the street, carefully, in the US or maybe Itaewon
I defy you to walk into a South Boulevard bar in Dallas or the North Side of Pittsburg and randomly start hugging people. You will not last long enough for them to fire up hit the road jack on the jukebox. I'd go as far as to suggest that in Longview (Texas), you would end up with a beating.

Wherever you travel, the number one rule is to default to extreme politeness while you observe local behavior/custom.
As I write this I'm thinking about how a Turkish coffee introduction plays out and wondering what would happen if you grabbed the host and gave him a hug. I honestly don't know. Consequently, no, don't do it.

In my experience, Germany is a “hand-shaking culture.” We were surprised at the breakfast table one morning when my little cousin greeted his father by shaking hands! Totally normal for them. In contrast, in Italy (Friuli-Venezia-Giulia) where my husband’s family is from, it is definitely a “double-kiss culture,” starting on the left side. (I kept having awkward kiss/hug interchanges until I realized this. Back in the States, I always “go right” when giving hugs.) Love this topic! Thanks, Mr. E!

In my experience, Germany is a “hand-shaking culture.”

Well, it really depends on where you are (formal or less formal occasion) and which status of relationship you have to each other.

btw: a too weak hand pressure when shaking hands is not seen positvely by most people - especially not in business which requires a trust base.

French think their Bis ("bees"), kisses on the cheek, are less forward than a hug. If you ever hug a French person, don't pat them on the back (the way a lot of Americans do). It's considered somewhat degrading to the person you're patting. Also, when you "cheers" in France, make sure you look each person in the eye. Not looking people in the eye is along the line of patting someone on the back when you're hugging - not polite/friendly behavior.

I was trained in "three kisses" by a Belgian friend years ago. With locals in Belgium it was the only time I've felt it was expected for me to exchange kisses with both sexes, even as a foreigner. It gets more natural the more you do it.

Have always double cheek kissed with my aunts and female cousins in the French speaking and German speaking parts of Switzerland since I've been a kid. That goes back to '64 when I was 9 yrs.old

The thread has caused me to pay attention. Fairly common to see young Hungarian ladies kissing cheeks.

Three kisses in the Netherlands too, with family or friends. Crisp handshake and exchange of names with acquaintances or in business.