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Compromises

What is it you would like to do relative to what you, pragmatically, can do? Financially, personally, or otherwise.

I would like to rent an apartment somewhere in Europe for a month or so, but my wife is more of a homebody and after 7-10 days is ready to go home. Thus, we compromise and our trips are 7-10 days :-)

Part of me would like to travel to Russia and Australia, but the length of the flights is a deterrent. 8 hours, give or take, is about my limit. Maybe I'd be willing to consider it if I could afford first or business class.

Posted by
8709 posts

I would travel 50% of the time, but hubby is the homebody. I do get him out for one long trip each year of late, up to 8 weeks in Europe.

Many places can only be seen efficiently with a car but we eschew driving so we miss some of those places.

We have taken to business class. It is a splurge but it means we arrive less fatigued and it is worth every dime. OTOH, since we stay a week or longer in most places we tend to rent reasonably priced apartments and do some cooking as a practical approach and that saves money and cuts calories.

Posted by
818 posts

We have the ability to work in several foreign countries, but our kids are very content and connected to their lives here. In lieu of that, Id like to live abroad every summer

Posted by
4169 posts

I would like to travel more spontaneously, even for short trips. When those short notice airfare sales pop up, it would be great to be able to drop everything and go and spend 5 days in Paris, or the UK, etc. Family gets in the way, and the long flights with connections from the middle of the country are definitely a deterrent.

Posted by
1622 posts

My compromise also relates to Business Class. We could take more trips to Europe by flying in Economy, but we have learned by hard experience that we are infinitely more comfortable flying in Business. The trade-off of fewer, but more comfortable trips is worth it to us.

Posted by
708 posts

We've reached the age where we spring for premium economy. It's worth it. When we were younger basic economy was fine. This is flying Virgin.

When we had kids at home flying anything but basic was expensive.

Posted by
927 posts

We have a 1 year old, now the compromise is that we just dont go anywhere.

Posted by
11686 posts

There are times when we as a couple have to resort to compromising. Between the me and the Mrs, if she wanted only to stay 7-10 days, regardless of reason or if I had to do that, ie 7-10 days, for some compelling reason we separate, ie, one of us flies home solo, whereas the other stays for the month. Basically, we go over together, and we separate with one returning earlier.

Flying from Calif we are used to taking a flight in Basic Economy of 10-11 hrs non-stop, much preferable that it be non-stop unless the transfer/layover airport, the flight price, etc, make it so attractive instead of doing the non-stop 11 hrs to Paris or Frankfurt.

On the apt for a month...never tried that option as yet. If the Mrs wanted to do just that in France, Poland, maybe Italy, I would leave it up to her to do all the arrangements.

The longest I've stayed in one place was in Berlin, solo, a couple of years ago, 14 consecutive nights in a Pension.

Posted by
708 posts

Fred, now that you mention it maybe 2 weeks split between two destinations, or 10 days between 3. Now you've got me thinking. Look out, world.

Posted by
2591 posts

You can get to Australia with a stop in Hawaii. Hawaiian Airlines does an OK job of getting you there and the prices are considerably lower for their business class than Qantus direct from LAX for example. The hop from Honolulu to Sydney is 10 hours, which might be over your comfort time frame. I used them when I went to New Zealand (stopped in Honolulu for 3 days to stretch my legs a bit, then on to Sydney, then flew to New Zealand). No complaints.

Posted by
11686 posts

@ BigMike....In 2014 due to pressing family considerations, I could only go 15 days max (incl landing day) once I landed in Frankfurt from SFO. Apart from staying the first 2 nights in Frankfurt, the rest of the trip was divided between staying in Berlin and Vienna, then finally backtracking to Frankfurt by the early evening on the last full day for the non-stop flight FRA to SFO the next day.

Posted by
2962 posts

I'd like to sell our house (love the place, hate the responsibility), rent a small apartment and be one of those people who are trying to balance the time in and out of Schengen for the 6 months each year that my husband is racing.

The main thing that keeps me from doing that or being gone more than 4-6 weeks at a time is leaving our now older dog behind. He has a great time at Camp Bow Wow and I can see him online, but I do miss him terribly. We haven't been successful in teaching him how to text us yet.

Posted by
2937 posts

7-10 days, we are just getting started.
My personal opinion is that we never take an overseas trip that is less than about 2 1/2 weeks. Our longest trip so far has been to Australia, New Zealand and a TransPacific cruise back to Seattle for 7 weeks. It was wonderful.

If you go places like Russia, China, Japan, Australia, South America, Africa, then you must spend more time. Even a European trip for 7-10 days can be limiting.

We never take Business Class, since the cost of the fare is usually about 4 or 5 times that of coach. One idea is to break up your trip. When we flew from Jacksonville, Fla to Singapore, we broke it up with an extra night in Paris between 8 hour flights.

Also, consider Premium Economy which gives you a little extra leg room.

Here are some of our trip reports to places a considerable distance away like Russia:

Russia, Kiev and Baltics
http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1478384

China
http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1718320

 
 
North Sea/Atl and Transatlantic
 
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=264272
 
 Portugal, the Douro River and a bit of Spain
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=535267

28 days in Britain and Celebrity Eclipse home
https://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=599139

Melbourne, New Zealand and Explorer of the Seas TransPacific cruise
https://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=620702&et_cid=3065755&et_rid=17221689&et_referrer=Boards
Alaska, Vancouver and the Canadian Rockies

http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=547125&et_cid=2764671&et_rid=17221689&et_referrer=Boards
 
Japan and a little bit of China
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=518503&et_cid=2531924&et_rid=17221689&et_referrer=Boards

 
Singapore to Dubai
 
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=501167
 
South America
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=248878
 
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=94024
Black Sea and E. Med
http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=228545

Posted by
2063 posts

I am very very prone to seasickness and meds don’t help me, so anything involving long times on boats is a no go. No Antarctic cruise for me.

My husband and I are in our 30s-40s and are not independently wealthy. So we have to work, meaning long trips are out of the question. 2-3 weeks is about all we can manage at a time. Which is fine - and we will take one 2-3 week trip a year and several long weekends to 4-6 night trips. Usually the short trips are within a 5 hour flight from eastern US (California, Iceland, Mexico, Puerto Rico...) but not always. If we can get a good rate or use miles I think nothing of going to Europe for a short trip. That’s a compromise due to not being retired or otherwise able to travel long term.

Posted by
967 posts

Budget. Budget budget budget. Both DH would be happy to have more frequent and longer trips but can't do it on our income. To be fair, we probably are spending more on travel than is wise at our income level, but can't help ourselves.

Time off amount is acceptable (but never enough), though I look forward to moving up to six weeks (30 days) in 2023.

We also are hindered by cat care as our boy is diabetic. Ironically we have an easier time arranging a few weeks away than a weekend. Right now a young woman at my work moves in for the long trips, but it's hard to get someone to pop in twice a day just for a weekend. Even going to my sister's later today for the Superbowl is a problem. Good thing he's so adorable!

Posted by
564 posts

“To be fair, we probably are spending more on travel than is wise at our income level, but can't help ourselves.”

@Andrea, are we separated at birth!?

Posted by
2170 posts

All my travel is about compromise.
I get 6 weeks' vacation now but am trying to embrace staycations and simpler planning as i have reached a point where solo travel and all the planning, logistics, cooking on the road does not compute well with house responsibilities and being a competent employee upon arrival home. So, I find cruises have become an easier time away, but just as challenging when I get home. Will flights and airports ever get easier? I rarely jave the option of direct flights, and even then there are often delays and hassles....and jet lag.
Like a number here, budget matters. I am now on a beach week, but when walking past those flat beds in the front of the plane, I was green with envy. But I still go economy long haul, as price equates to a week in the sun to escape Canadian winters. I won't give those up for 8 hours of comfort.
I also have to consider how far less my Cdn$. For the rare time it is as strong as the US$, I then book the travel and places I can't afford when it is $.27 less.
But if I could have anything, I would do much the same, except I would upgrade to first class air, and occasionally splurge for some out of the way beach island with AI room service tailored to my food needs and guaranteed quiet/solitude.

Posted by
143 posts

Compromises about traveling? Hahahahaha.... As if...

There is nothing more important to me than traveling except for my family. I recently reconfigured my job so I can travel longer. This summer I am gone 6 weeks in Europe with my children (3 and 6). My husband will be there 3 of the 6 weeks. And I have close friends also visiting during that time, but 2 of the 6 weeks, I am solo with the children in Europe.
We are also going to Cambodia, Laos and Thailand this March for 3 weeks.

Compromises? ok, now that I think about it, I make the choice to live way way below my means so that we can travel. But I see it more like a choice, not a compromise. I chose not to have a nice big house or drive an expensive car so that we can travel longer.

Posted by
2770 posts

I love that the previous poster used the word "choices". People will say to me, "I wish we could afford the travel". I certainly understand that there are people that do struggle in their day to day existence. But, in many aspects of life, it is about choices. One friend told me she would never shop at Aldi, she always goes to the "fancy" grocery store in town. Thing is I don't think she's ever been to the new Aldi in town. She is one that remarks that she wishes they could afford the luxury of travel. I have also noticed that on the few trips they have made, they make pretty expensive food and lodging choices. That's fine, but again its a choice. We drive our cars until they die. We've done a lot of travel in the U.S. mostly tent camping. In Europe, we really research our hotels and stay at 2 and 3 star local places. Yes, they must be clean and have a comfortable bed large enough to accommodate myself and my tall husband and be very near or in city center, but we deal with any "quirks" in fact they are often part of the charm and make good memories.

Posted by
2170 posts

I think there are choices and compromises and sometimes both. If I choose to travel a certain month for prime bird migtration (geeky birdwatcher here) which puts travel into high season, then I compromise to stay on budget. We can get into a symantics debate, I guess; or embrace the tenor of the question.

Posted by
2539 posts

I would like to rent an apartment somewhere in Europe for a month or
so, but my wife is more of a homebody and after 7-10 days is ready to
go home. Thus, we compromise and our trips are 7-10 days :-)

It sounds like for you, compromise = capitulate. ;-)

If you want to travel for a month, why don't you? First travel together for the length of time your wife wants to be away and then continue your trip. My parents typically did that. My father maybe had a week of travel time but my mother typically wanted to stay in Europe longer so she did and flew home 2 weeks later. For us, this is normal as my husband and I do the same thing. There are times I need to return home and he stays on the trip longer. Vice Versa too.

Posted by
2398 posts

I'm a teacher and I dream of being able to travel during the "shoulder seasons"! I hope to retire in a few years. I'm not sure exactly what I will doing after that, except that I know I am going to have a really great trip planned for September!!!

One interesting bit that I learned on a trip to Africa a few years ago is that the airfare from Seattle to Rwanda wasn't any more expensive than the airfare Seattle to Amsterdam on KLM. I broke up my flights with a one night stay in Amsterdam on the way there and spent several days in Amsterdam on the way home. It made me start thinking about what other destinations there are that could be explored for really no additional airfare cost over going to Europe and with Europe as a stop-over.

What if you went with your wife on your typical European vacation, she went home, and you went exploring to one of these places?
Only problem, she would be pretty jealous when she saw your pictures......

Posted by
11241 posts

I was hoping for a working stint in Europe, at least two or three years in a central location. I could explore new places each weekend. I would have probably accepted a modest pay cut to do it. Unfortunately I never received any offers.

I'd love to fly first class but can't justify spending such a large percentage of my travel budget for a relatively short part of the trip.

I'd also love to have a full wardrobe to choose from each day, but I don't want to carry it around.

Posted by
1946 posts

I would like to buy an apartment in Budapest, and once I retire be able to spend a significant amount of time there. Could be a possibility, right now just a happy thought.

Last year was extra special because I got to make 2 trips--Hungary & Germany, and then a 5 day return to London--I'd like to do that every year if time and money present themselves fortuitously.

I want to go on a road trip through various countries--England, France, Germany, Hungary, Poland all come immediately to mind--but as a solo traveler I am hesitant to rent a car and would prefer to do it with a travel partner.

I almost chose Russia for this year's vacation, but get a little apprehensive about things like needing a visa, our political climate, and dealing with the Cyrillic alphabet. Considering going through a tour company solo but with a personal guide.

Posted by
513 posts

Our compromise was between travel more often but cheaper - flights & lodging OR less travel spending more on flights like at least premium economy on flights. So we travel less but upgrade on flights and lodging.

My husband (who is retired) could be gone for a month - me (not retired but very flexible schedule) I'm good with about 15 nights boots on the ground (He "compromises" on that). Our longest trip was to NZ and we were gone almost 25 days - way too long for me. I'm no homebody but I begin to miss my dogs :).

Posted by
166 posts

I make the choice to live way way below my means so that we can travel. But I see it more like a choice, not a compromise. I chose not to have a nice big house or drive an expensive car so that we can travel longer.

This is me. It’s all about what makes us happy. A new car or a fancier house wouldn't make me happy - travel does. For others I know, they love having a new car with never-ending car payments or a big house with a lot of expensive electronics and one domestic vacation to the same place year after year. My brother and sister-in-law have never had a passport, and likely never will, but they have an enormous house and drive luxury cars and vacation at a beach 2 hours away and that’s good for them. I’d be miserable that way. They’re happy.

Jean-Paul Sartre — 'We are our choices.'

Posted by
75 posts

"I would like to rent an apartment somewhere in Europe for a month or so, but my wife is more of a homebody and after 7-10 days is ready to go home. Thus, we compromise and our trips are 7-10 days :-)"

I would put the wife on the plane after 7-10 days and spent the rest of the month in Europe alone. If she's a good wife and she trusts you, she'll be understanding.

"Part of me would like to travel to Russia and Australia, but the length of the flights is a deterrent. 8 hours, give or take, is about my limit. Maybe I'd be willing to consider it if I could afford first or business class."

Why don't you make stopovers for a couple of days? A stop on Hawaii between the USA and Australia or a stop in Western Europe between US and Russia.

Posted by
2770 posts

Little frustrates me more than when someone comments to me, "I wish I could afford travel like you do". Generally, its not a tone, like, I admire your travel, usually its more bitter. There are many who are not in a financial situation to afford travel, I do understand that. But while we live in a nice neighborhood, our house is more modest, and our newest car right now is 5 years old. Life is indeed about choices and compromises for most people.

Regarding long plane rides. I've been watching RS videos again to get travel ideas. He does state a few times, that his preference is to make due with a cheaper plane flight to be able to afford more travel. Tho I do wonder that with his success, he still travels that way, but I agree. There are a lot of ways to make the cheaper flights work beyond pillows etc., for actual flight. A layover, or a day flight, or adding a day or two on the front end for recovery.

Posted by
708 posts

Sargan8 that's the plan if I can get my better half's buy-in. Such a trip would exceed her 7 to 10 day comfort zone.

I recall a mailman who climbed, or attempted to climb Mt. Everest on multiple occasions, which cost tens of thousands of dollars for each trip, which indicates to me one doesn't have to be wealthy by Western standards to travel.

Posted by
11686 posts

Obviously, occasions arise when one has to compromise as pertains to itinerary in Europe, say you want to see a particular site or go to a certain country/city, etc and the Mrs has no desire, interest and so on at all in your interest, or vice versa, then a compromise is called for, or one party sacrifices by totally giving in to the other. Luckily, she has no problems going over in the summer, which always is the choice for me.

When the Mrs and I travel together on a trip in Europe, we have no problems splitting up for the day as she has no interest sometimes in what I want to see, or vice versa. That way neither person totally sacrifices. Therefore, she goes her way solo and I do likewise. We rendezvous at an agreed time for dinner at a designated place.

Posted by
529 posts

I would love to take even longer trips than I have been. If I were to go "all in" for travel, I'd sell my house and buy a worry-free townhome or condo. But when I'm home, I enjoy having the house and yard too much, so I compromise with myself.

I am working on the practicalities. I've relegated all the houseplants to outdoors. And my parents love to take my dog, which has allowed me to go for longer stretches.

Posted by
630 posts

WARNING: If you have the means and can fly Business Class to Europe, you will NEVER want to fly in Economy again. Deals can be had, but it requires a lot of price checking for many months. I have seen fares appear and disappear in a matter of hours. You have to decide when to pull the trigger. I have never been able to sleep sitting up, so the first time I flew Business Class and actually slept for several hours, and it made a big difference in how I felt upon arrival in Europe. The use of airport lounges, with complimentary food & drinks, and a quiet comfortable chair to pass the (sometimes) hours waiting for your next flight is another plus.

Posted by
708 posts

I have a couple friends who are at a stage in their lives where they fly business or not at all. Maybe premium economy. They claim they are less stressed upon arrival.

Posted by
4150 posts

WARNING: If you have the means and can fly Business Class to Europe,
you will NEVER want to fly in Economy again.

That's true. But if you think it's a long slog to Europe, try SE Asia, Australia, or a remote place that requires 3 more flights to reach once you've made it to one of those far corners of the earth. Believe me, after 5 or 6 flights in a row and 36+ hours in transit, you have plenty of time to think about your priorities.

My wife and I are fortunate that we have accumulated a lot of frequent flyer miles (I commuted regularly via jet at my last job, which helps rack up a lot of miles), enough to go in business class for long trips (I'm stil happy to tough it out in coach if the flight is a non-overnight that's less than 6 or 7 hours). But I've crossed my last ocean in coach on a redeye. Landing in Europe (or Australia or Thailand) after getting good, restful sleep in a lay-flat business class seat is not only blissful, I've concluded that it actually extends my trips by 2 or more usable days, since I don't have to spend 2 or 3 days physically recovering from the ordeal of just getting there.

I know everyone does not have that luxury. But as Robert says above, once you've flown up in the 2-percent cabin, it's hard to go back to the back of the plane. I'll still ride back there with the suffering masses, without complaints, on the relatively short hop across the US, to Mexico or even Hawaii, but not for 13+ hours to Jakarta or Rome. For that, I'll be getting my beauty sleep up front. Don't hate me.

Posted by
2994 posts

Little frustrates me more than when someone comments to me, "I wish I
could afford travel like you do". Generally, its not a tone, like, I
admire your travel, usually its more bitter

Or it's someone who's 40 or 50 years younger than we are! We've saved $ for years, my car is 16 years old (and was cheap when we bought it.) We ask for gift cards to nice restaurants for Christmas gifts. We don't have cable, share internet with a neighbor, and have spent years traveling in the States, sleeping in a tent and staying in state and national parks. (Which we love to do - I'm not complaining!)

So yes, now we can relax a bit and spend some of the money we've been saving. I will say that it's still hard for me to let go of some of our frugal ways, but hey, practice, practice, practice!

My own preference would be the same as Lo's: downsize and spend half our time (at least) traveling. There are a couple of impediments to that: we haven't learned yet how to get rid of stuff - and we have a lot of it.

In addition, I have elderly parents whom I am reluctant to leave for long. My dad (91) still lives at home, and my mother (89) is in a nursing home. I see them every day, and help with medical and other issues. My DH and I figure 3 to 4 weeks is about as long as we can be away, and honestly, I think that's pushing the limits. But Dad is in good health, and my aunt and my brother's wife step up to help when I'm gone.

So not a bad compromise: a longish trip once a year. That leaves lots of time for planning and dreaming. It works for us.

Posted by
11686 posts

Thanks to some random chance at check-in SFO to Frankfurt on Lufthansa, I had my first opportunity to trying out Business class in July 1989 when all of a sudden, the young woman told me she was upgrading me to Business class...a very unexpected and pleasant surprise. True, it was much more comfortable than sitting in Economy, service was great (if that matters to you), but on a comfort level, very attractive and pleasant.

All the trips since then I go back to sitting in Economy,.. basic, rock bottom, wherever it is called, the usual sardine can seat, some satisfactory, some much worse but all non-stop to London, FRA or Paris CDG from SFO or OAK. That's ca. 11 hours...you get used to it.

Posted by
143 posts

Quote: "WARNING: If you have the means and can fly Business Class to Europe, you will NEVER want to fly in Economy again"

If you have the means... I do sometimes (with points). Yes business class, or first or even the famous Singapore Airline Suites are fantastic and can make the flying experience a highlight of the trip instead of enduring them. But we don't have enough points for a family of four to do upper class flying all the time. So we fly coach for a while until we can book something fantastic again (I have my eye on Etihad apartments) .

I feel like I do the same with accommodations: most of the time it is modest (good location and view trumps everything) but once during the trip we will splurge for that element of luxury.

Posted by
7334 posts

Fred - you were in Frankfurt for 2 days in 2014 and didn't let me buy you a cup of coffee?

Husband just doesn't enjoy traveling as much as I do, so I take off a couple of times a year going to Cal. to visit my dad and to have another Camino adventure (which is about the cheapest long term vacation you can have). Just can't seem to get him to go on a vacation somewhere. We can't go together because we own a business and one of us always has to stay in Frankfurt to take care of it. Maybe a weekend here and there but they don't happen very often. Lack of excess funds though we live very frugally. No car, no fancy clothing, no Starbucks, no retirement funds.

Posted by
66 posts

My husband has seasonal hobbies, leaving the month of December as his only one without a commitment. He isn’t a huge fan of traveling, and of course I am. The compromise? We only take one big trip every few years, my daughter has filled in and is actually a better travel companion,lol. Unfortunately, she is getting married and starting her life that doesn't included month long vacations with Mom. I think hubby may have to compromise more...

Posted by
11686 posts

@ Ms Jo...My trip this year will most likely include staying a night or two, ( maybe 3 ?) in Frankfurt in July. Thanks for the coffee invitation. Abgemacht !

I don't do any of these frills either, all the more so since retiring.

Posted by
708 posts

Kathim11, compromise with your husband and take a 2-week trip every year? That sort of splits the difference.

I joke that I compromise with my wife, meaning we do what she wants to do. Happy wife, happy life.