Clueless in Italy

LOL, Allen, I read that CNN piece earlier this morning. 🤣
I wonder just how humongous their suitcases were!!??

Traveling in England in 1986 - when I got to London I needed to do laundry. So I walked to a launderette a block from my hotel. The washer had what seemed like 20 settings and not really knowing which to pick I selected "cold wash". After it stopped running I opened the door to find all my clothes immersed in cold soapy water. I had to put more money in to rinse and when that stopped more coins to spin and drain. By the time I finished drying I had spent 5 pounds to clean my clothes. That night I met up with a friend for dinner and when I told him how much I had spent he laughed for about 15 minutes. Apparently I should have been able to do a load for about 1 pound and it shouldn't have taken 3 tries.

Funny thread Allan!

First trip to Barcelona my husband lost his luggage for 6 days (the trips after have been carry on, lesson learned)
He was such a good sport about, i would have been super grumpy...The first day we went to the store to purchase the basics, like underwear...We did not know either about the difference in size, so he bought the same brief size as usual, Omg they were so tight! 14 years after and i can still picture him clearly and have a good laugh!

Love the t-shirt/underwear stories. I have a similar story, but in reverse. It goes both ways!

My husband hosts British colleagues every other year. One chap's luggage didn't arrive, so he headed to a local American store to buy undies. He's not a small man, but not especially big – he figured size XL would be just about right. What could go wrong, right? :-)
He found a package marked "4XL" and figured he didn't need 4 pairs, but why not? – it was cheap. He gets back to his hotel and opens the package and ... you guessed it – it's one pair of underpants that are size XXXXL! I think he did end up wearing them to the conference, all bunched up in his trousers. His colleagues still kid him about this, and his nickname now – and, I'm sure, forever – is "Ian Big Pants" 😂

(pants, of course, being Britspeak for underpants)

Thanks! I loved that article, it was definitely what I needed today.

Laura, I had to wipe away the tears from laughing so hard. Your story was a hoot. Thanks for sharing.

Also had a good laugh reading the story you shared, Allan. Thanks!

Thank you, Allan. This was such fun to read! I am also enjoying the other fun stories posted here, so thanks to everyone I can relate to the size confusion. It took me several tries to finally get it right.. I will think of one of my own to share! I know there have been several😁.

Our first trip to Europe was in 2000, a year before the Euro was introduced. We started in the UK, traveled to France and Belgium, and then Italy, where suddenly we had to use lire. We arrived in La Spezia on an overnight train at about 6AM, and Vernazza soon after, and had to find a place to stay for ourselves and our two young kids. This was pre-Internet, pre-cellphone, and I’d gotten almost no sleep on the train. Somehow we found a lovely place, settled in, and went out for groceries. I stopped into a shop to buy postcards and stamps. It was about 2000 lire to the pound, so I managed to do the conversion in my head when I bought the postcards. But the stamps? Postage to the US cost more than the postcard, which threw my exhausted brain for a loop. I gestured my confusion to the shopkeeper, who apparently thought I was accusing him of overcharging me. He launched into a very Italian-style conniption, at which point I just lost it, and started to cry. I blubbered in English about not speaking Italian, getting no sleep, and just trying to figure out all these lire. He melted. Somehow he explained it to me, I understood, and I made my purchase. For the next few days while we stayed in town, I shopped there whenever I could, and he was my new best buddy.

I was in a rented apartment in Naples with my two best girlfriends last year.
The bathroom off my room had a leaky shower, so the host said he would send a plumber to fix it.
Later that day when we got back from our sight seeing, I found a beautifully wrapped present on my bed.
As I have had gifts from hosts before when they think they’ve inconvenienced you during your stay, especially in Italy ; I just assumed the plumber had left it after he’d been in to fix the shower.
It was a pack of Marks and Spencer’s underwear .
I was very confused and wondered why both friends were doubled up laughing!
One friend had brought them from the UK for me as a gift.
Still laughing about the plumber leaving me a five-pack of knickers.🤣

I used a house iron in a student hotel in London to press a polyester knit dress. The iron was only meant for cotton shirts as it had no cool setting. I immediately melted an iron shaped hole in my dress. Luckily it was near the hem, so I borrowed some scissors, pins and needle and thread to hem it again and made it into a very charming wrap jacket with a tie belt.

Hahaha very funny thread!

Back in the days before global warming, my weather concerns in late May/early June were that I would freeze to death north of the Alps. Indeed, I found myself in London during a damp, chilly period. My sink-washed laundry was very slow to dry. I needed clean underwear, so I sat in front of the coin-operated heater, holding a pair of panties. They were nylon; they melted.

Same thing as acraven-- for our first trip my husband had bought some (expensive for our student budget) quick-dry underpants. First wash, we were in a hurry and put them over a lightbulb to dry. Who knew lightbulbs were that hot ??
Lessons learned: leave time for overnight drying; pack cotton and use a laundromat;

I usually travel solo but have had my mom join me on a couple of trips to London. On our second trip, we actually started in Edinburgh and took the train to York for a stopover before moving onto London. As our travel day was approaching my mom kept telling me how lightly she had packed and how proud she was of herself. I would tell her that's great and we would chat more about our plans. On our day of travel, my husband was driving us to the airport and we stopped to pick up my mom. She proudly announced again how lightly she had packed and wheeled out her roller carry on. Knowing that she cannot resist shopping and bringing home gifts for the grandkids and my siblings, I asked her if she had a collapsible bag in there for souvenirs. "Oh I'm not going to do much shopping this time - it's really more about being there". Ok, sure.

During our layover at Heathrow, she bought some chocolates - "Could you please put these in your bag?". Sure. First day in Edinburgh, we start at the castle and wind our way down the Royal Mile. You know that first woolen mill shop on the left as you face away from the castle? She fell in love with the wool blankets and bought five. We managed to get them by train to York, then London but once in London we had to spend our first afternoon looking for a cheap piece of luggage. We found an odd sized roller that could fit her purchases for 20 GBP.

This was November. We had a friend from Norway visit over Christmas/New Year who also loves to shop for souvenirs but also for things that can't be found at home and the odd sized bag was put into service once again.

We spent six years in California before moving east to Indiana. The first winter was our children’s first sight of snow, first winter coats, first thick-soled shoes. So, we decided to meet our best friends, Canadians, in Toronto right after Christmas. Just drive north beyond Indianapolis and turn right. It’s right there. Ha.

Two days, fifteen hours driving and broken, frozen windshield wipers later, we pulled into the hotel. And at the border, going and coming, they wanted to know what the deal was with the family with a California car, a French-speaking father, and freezing kids who claimed to live in Indiana.
Clueless in the States.

So when people come to the Forum and want to visit Paris and Vienna by car in a couple of days, I get it.

Sun 12.30pm

Late last night sitting in bed, my wife and I were relaxing before dropping off to sleep. I was having my occasional scotch or two, and she her cup of preferred Earl Grey and catching up on her social media. Being in a relaxed state decided to check on what had appeared on this site in the past couple of weeks. Cognisant, of some of Allan’s previous threads, I plunged in. Started with the link and was quickly chuckling away to myself. My good lady wanted to know what was so funny. So, I navigated her to this site.

She was also soon having a chuckle over the girls’ travels. Then she started to read the comments that followed. Fortuitously the cup of tea had been put on the bedside table. As she got towards the bottom, she broke into raucous laughter, because in times past she/me also had done similar things. I had casually put my scotch next to me on the bed covers. Yes, an errant arm (not mine) knocked it over. Spilt scotch is a bigger disaster than split milk. Earlier today I went to my local grog shop and quite by chance found they stocked Canadian Club whisky. No Black Velvet. So next time I check on Alan’s musings, I will make sure that any whisky spilt will be Canadian.

The women in my family are big ABBA fans. Fanatical is a better description. Some time ago in Colmar’s old town, we were sitting al fresco. I had gone to get some drinks. When I returned, I heard Abba’s Waterloo playing. Then heard the women singing along as it played on a smart phone. People at surrounding tables were looking. I suspect it was the song subject rather than their singing. Stupidly, I shouted to them to turn the bloody music off. That got every body’s attention. In hindsight not the best thing to do. To this day the women think I over reacted. Was a good dinner party story. Got around our friends quickly.

@Allan Keep up the good topics.

Stay safe. Care for all mankind. Time is a traveller.

Regards
Ron

@Allan Keep up the good topics.

Thanks Ron, it's exciting to have a following of 1. 9,999 more and maybe I'll quite my day job.

With apologies to those who've heard this story...

We spent a week in Paris for my 40th birthday. I like to think of myself as a half decent communicator in French. All week I tried diligently to get it right. On our last day, I got a little cocky. We were out for lunch, and I ordered a plate of cured meats and a not-inexpensive bottle of wine. The waiter brought the wine and served it in the usual serious way a French waiter might serve wine. Then came the food, only I screwed up. I hadn't ordered a meat plate, I had ordered a hot dog. We both burst into laughter. Chris said I could order something else, who cares about expense, but I didn't mind. It was a pretty good hot dog, actually. Kind of paired well with the wine, lol.

My worst restaurant screw-up took place in London during a conversation in my native language. As a result of nodding affirmatively to what I thought was small talk from a waiter in an Indian restaurant--who did have what sounded to me like an accent--I inadvertently ordered an entire pitcher of beer. I hate beer. I assume the only reason I haven't had more such experiences is that I typically use the point-at-the-menu method of ordering.

A couple of years ago in the Cotswolds we stopped at a bakery for breakfast. I bought a pastry that cost about £2. The 2 pence piece is huge, it's bigger than the £1 pound coin and it's the same size as our Canadian $1 and $2 coins (called the Loonie and the Twoonie) and so I figured it must be what I need. I gave it to the cashier and started to walk out and she yelled loudly that I hadn't paid. I still didn't realize what I'd done and she scolded me like a child and schooled me in their money.

The black nozzles at French gas stations are NOT diesel. Diesels don't run on unleaded. If you want a ride from the tow truck, you get to sit in your car on top of the flatbed. You can't do that at home.

When in Avignon...Trains that say "Gare de Lyon" (even if they are on the track at the time of your train that you asked three station attendants about) are NOT going to the city of Lyon. You'll end up in Paris! Trains were switched and the announcements were in French of course, so yes, it happened. It was part of a multi train day to Florence (yes a long day) and we ended up flying.

We went to Budapest last year and it was one of my first trips outside the Euro zone so I was determined not to let the exchange rate overwhelm me. I mean 300 Forints to $1 seemed like it would be so easy to round up so I figured got this! My friend and I went to the atm to pull out some cash so I confidently said we need to get out 3000 forints! That seemed like so much money to me. My friend was skeptical but she trusted my bountiful air of confidence so we each pulled out 3k worth of forints. Our next stop was dinner at this kabob place and each meal was 2400 forints. That’s when I realized that the 3k that seemed like alot of money turned out to be 10 bucks!!! We had a good chuckle, went back to the atm and each got out 30k forints. Wow, that felt so decadent lol. I’m so glad I never had to deal with the Italian lire that’s for sure!

Claudette, I made the opposite mistake in Budapest. After the sleepless overnight flight, I encountered a bank ATM on my way to my hotel. I have a no-fee ATM card and prefer to make small withdrawals so I don't get stuck with large bills that can be hard to spend. Being brain dead, my effort to withdraw about $40 worth of forints landed me with $400 worth--in the form of five notes worth about $80 each. I was lucky that the cashier inside the bank too pity on me and broke them for me.

acraven, that's too funny! I'm glad the bank clerk took pity on you. I don't mind keeping extra Euro or Pounds and taking them home as I know I will be able to use them on return visits but other currency I try to take out as little as needed. I did run out of Forints to use but luckily they took Euros in Budapest. I know the exchange rate wasn't in my favor but some places didn't take credit cards so at least I had that option.