No personal experience. I have heard (not via any official channels, just hearsay) that airlines no longer offer special bereavement fares, in part because people had abused the policy (surprise - see Seinfeld), because it's just too much trouble for them, and because they already offer fares as cheaply as they can.
As to awful layovers...Alaska Airlines is based in Seattle, and for them Hawaii service is all about serving the west coast leisure market, so flights are timed for people who live in/near the west coast cities they serve. Connections onward to the east coming from Hawaii are probably going to require an overnight. You might find better options (from the standpoint of layovers and schedules) from other airlines that are not built on a west coast-centric business model. The problem you will probably find is that, although there are some flights to Hawaii from cities closer to your intended destination (Minnesota), there's little competition on those routes, so fares are high (Hawaii is very well connected to cities in the far west, but the further east you look, the options quickly thin out and all but disappear -- folks from the east coast do not go to Hawaii much; conversely...east coast residents have a plethora of options for easy, direct flights to the Caribbean and Latin America, which west coast cities do not). Unfortunately, your options for easy/direct/convenient AND inexpensive flights from Hawaii to the upper midwest will be very limited. You may have to choose between inconvenient and expensive.
I'd look at United, Delta, American, and Hawaiian Airlines, in that order. Good luck.
