Battling those travel demons

Glad to hear I’m not the only one who over plans on the transportation. 😊

Another pre-trip worry I have is also related to transportation. Specifically, the darn trains. Buying the tickets, getting on the correct train, making the connections, navigating the larger train stations. I just traveled to Switzerland with a Swiss Travel Pass where tickets were rarely needed, they have a super easy to use train app, no advance purchase are necessary, and no reservations are needed. I’m already having nightmares about my trip to Italy next year!!! Buying tickets before I even get there (that leaves room for no flexibility), needing seat reservations, the size of the Rome train station. Yikes!!!!

I am a cheap Mom. Do you mean that I am not the only one,?

My travel demon - any questions my husband might ask for which I don't have an immediate answer!

Just this morning he asked me if we have enough "plugs for various items". He means adapters, of course. We leave in 2 weeks and this is our 5th trip to Europe in recent years. Of course we have enough "plugs"! I smiled and simply said yes. I told him I have a converter as well.

I'm the planner and that works quite well for us. Researching to prepare for our trips is my hobby. He's going to have to have a really unusual question to stump me!

“… planning a trip is both the happiest and most stressful part of travel.”

Oh, yes! Luckily the happiest far outweighs the stressful. But, last year I cancelled my trip to Italy because it was running the other way around. All of the fluid Covid requirements became too much like project management tasks instead of a vacation.

Pre-Covid, the planning was always a lot of fun with the start of planning around December for the following year’s September trip. It would be pretty intense during the winter months - in a good way! Then about a month before the trip, I would start thinking maybe I was missing something, was there another nearby place to see and info I needed to know about the country, and I found I was spending way too much time on the travel forum off-track, etc. instead of being productive. Finally, two weeks before the trips, I would feel perfectly fine again and excited.

The “demons” during those two weeks? Frankly, I don’t know. I’ve always thoroughly read the RS guidebook for any country we have visited. I research on-line countless hours. It’s all really fun and full of anticipation. I purchase train tickets ahead of time, have reservations for things that make sense, have lots of flexibility to enjoy whatever sounds fun in the moment, virtually walk down the street at the train station so everything is familiar to catch public transportation.

My parents were very frugal and hard-working, and I have many of their traits. I am frugal but will gladly spend money where it’s worth the value in my opinion. So, I would never pay for first class tickets or eat at a Michelin restaurant, but I will attend nice classical concerts in Europe and participate in cooking classes. I do create a piechart of planned trip expenses, and I will add extra activities in the plan if the cost percentage in “activities” is not high enough; that category is what I enjoy the most. So, no “demons” for expenses.

“ People don’t take vacations because they don't like pressure of having to make sure they have a good time.” Whew, that’s never been the case! I will have four weeks in Italy soon, and just being there will be a good time! I do feel that quote applies much more to people who aren’t traveling solo or have a spouse who is difficult to please. My husband is an easy travel companion, so I’ve never felt that way.

Getting from the airport to the hotel--bonus points for using public transit & saving money--is my biggest concern; if I can manage that, jet-lagged, in a foreign country, I can do anything! I do a lot of research and reading, particularly on this Forum, and thus I can say I am as well-prepared as possible for being somewhere different from home, always navigate that easily.

Trains make me a bit anxious--is this my seat? How will I know in time if I'm on the right train? Will the connection be missed...then what? As a solo traveler there is also the concern of leaving my seat to use the restroom and bringing my purse and carry-on tote along with me.

For the OP and his frugalness that makes him angry on paying 1 euro for the toilet. Hey, you are saving money by the no tip needed in Europe. Look at that as a tradeoff. Be happy.
As for the train situation. Someone worried about trains in Italy. No worry. Use the Trenitalia app and it is easy. Did it on an Italy trip in October. No problem. Now I am going to Germany in three weeks and plan on using the German DB app.

As for stress of vacation planning. That is what no brainer cruises and tours are for. And for a cruise you don't even have to move your stuff. Or even get off the boat.
Those who are angry due to such things perhaps should not even be traveling at all. Just be glad you are not on a stagecoach or crossing the ocean before air travel in a ship. Maybe even a sailing ship.

Interesting thoughts and experiences from everyone!

My biggest stress point comes when I am ready to hit 'send' and buy airline tickets. I am terrified I will make an error. Once that is done, I obsessively check and recheck that all committed reservations are really for the dates I meant to book and eventually, as I make train reservations, I recheck again that the dates are aligned. (Does the reservation in Milano agree in date with the trains to and from?) Only once have I made an error and booked a non-ref train ticket for the wrong date. It was in France and we were only out about EUR 50.00. Since we travel for 8-10 weeks, there are a lot of arrangements and a lot could go wrong. So far, so good as far as unintentional errors!

Last trip in fall 2021 we had to make some on-the-fly changes. I didn't make any errors but I sure hope i never have to do that again. I think it took me most of an entire day to restructure 3 weeks.

We are frugal on some things. Off-season travel leads to low rates for apartments (we have two places we rent for under EUR 100 per night), and we cook a lot. Where we do not scrimp is transportation. A cab versus bus in many instances (like arriving in Bolzano and going to our apartment in Ortisei) is a stress-reducing tactic. First class on trains if it means distancing from crowds especially in the COVID era. Occasional splurges (maybe two-or-three times for a couple of nights each time on a 10 week trip) on a nice hotel with half-pension are also stress-relievers and make up for some of the other economizing measures.

Everything is in a spreadsheet workbook with multiple pages and I record all expenses, activities, etc., as we go so I can find anything whether in planning, executing, or for reference in future trip planning. Ready for action!

We use to argue about food - when and where to eat, and my bachelor habit of being frugal about it. Also, about sticking to a schedule that I had painstakingly researched and planned out, including getting up on time. Avoiding this stress is one of the big advantages we found in going with RS tours.

I for one, don't understand the objection to pay toilets. Paying for toilets means they are available, supplied, and cleaned (usually).

Aimee has a nice attitude about travel and, seemingly, life -- hats off! I agree about the concert tickets vs. Michelin meals, being willing to pay for unique experiences. I'm still pretty cheap but not as much as i used to be, I got over my distaste for pay toilets as I aged and access to plumbing started playing a bigger role in my daily life. I fly premium economy because the added comfort is worth the cost to me, but I can't imagine moving to the front of the plane because I'd gag at the added cost per hour.

Lately I started traveling solo to Europe, as my wife can't stand the overnight flights and doesn't do stairs well. (We cruised a lot before Covid, and look forward to picking that up again someday.) I've hit on the combination of RS tour and multiple self-planned days before and after. I get to plan and obsess about "my" time, and someone else organizes the bulk of the trip and provides me with great guides and enjoyable company. For me planning isn't the most stressful part of travel, getting from place to place on a schedule is. I've usually figured out the mass transit option from airport to hotel, and using it gives me confidence about the rest of the logistics.

On a recent solo, non-tour trip to Germany, I found that my lack of skill in that language really held me back. I learned the basic phrases and listened to a bunch of Pimsleur tapes, and I felt pretty confident at the start, but found myself tongue-tied and uncomprehending far too often. This was less of a problem in France, Italy, and Spain, where my high school and college French, and trips to Mexico, stood me in good stead. So I guess inability to communicate meaningfully is a stressor for me. I'm hoping it won't be an issue in Ireland next month! ;-)

Agree-its my inability to speak any modern language-I took Latin in high school.

I’m chuckling at Allan’s mention of the angry people he’s seen in Disneyworld. I, on the other hand, in days of yore would head over to Mr Toad’s Wild Ride in Disneyland and wait to watch the families exiting.
Was bemused as kids were often crying because parents always failed to remember the ride includes Dante’s Inferno! The parents playing the blame game as they tried to comfort their children.

My demon is worrying about what going on back at home with the house/dog sitter.

Last trip in 2018, the pipe that feeds our septic tank decided to break, and clog up the day after we left. :)

I would say in the course of traveling solo in Europe is not being adventurous enough, my lack of imagination, not being able to think "outside of the box" and sometimes , while not being cheap, but frugal to the point where it isn't really necessary, and dilly-dallying especially in the morning, when I intend to be out and about by 10 but actually don't leave until noon.

I have no problems just relying on public transport, buses, U and S Bahn, subways, day and night trains to get around, the rental car is not an option as I'm not interested in driving.

I get more anxiety about travel every year. Much of it involves arriving and departing. Google maps is my friend. I like to track my walk/ride from the trains stations to my hotel so it feels more familiar when I get there. Then I have landmarks to look for like a drug store on the corner, etc.

I also carry more snacks and energy bars. We also mostly stopped planning meals and restaurants. We grab on the go a lot more. It saves money and all the restaurant planning. Restaurant planning seemed to cause more stress than not planning for us.

I agree about WDW! During our Disney years, I was a serious planner and we hardly ever waited in lines. I was always amazed at the people who just showed up. I had that FastPass system down to a science! :)

OMG, I can relate to so many of you! My worst demon so far has been figuring out public transport. Living in a part of the US where train and bus travel is limited, where it exists at all, sorting out how to get from A to B gives me nightmares. I'm just sure we'll get fined for doing something SOMETHING wrong. So far, so good but we've yet to be faced with country-wide transport in most European countries so there's PLENTY of opportunities left to totally screw up.

My more recent demon is technology. While many people swear it makes things easier for them, it doesn't for me. Just sort of the way my brain works...or doesn't work, in this case! Seems as well that just when I think I've got a procedure sorted, they change it! We've yet to travel abroad with our iphones (have only had them for the past couple of years) and, probably compared to most of you, still use them minimally here in the States. Not a Luddite, by any means, it's just stuff that's personally difficult and frustrating for me.

LOL, anyone want to lend us a teenager or two for tech support?

My more recent demon is technology.

I'd like to think I'm reasonably tech-fluent, but my latest battle is with my phone's Bluetooth. RS made a comment in his latest newsletter about technology becoming more common than he had noticed before and now needing to rely on your phone even more. One thing he mentioned are rentable audio guides at sites may become a thing of the past and your phone will now be your guide by scanning a QR code. I experienced this recently at a Sistine Chapel Exhibit currently on in my city. I needed to use my own phone as the audio-guide, however newer phones like mine appear to no longer have earbud ports. I don't own a pair of Bluetooth earbuds. Another thing to add to the shopping list. and another thing to add to the daily packing list when I'm site-seeing.

Not to mention that Bluetooth and I are still not the best of friends. There is supposed to be a way for my phone and laptop to connect wirelessly so I don't need a cable when I transfer photos from my phone to my laptop, but I can't figure it out. But I guess this is more of a post-trip demon.

My travel demon is missing a connection. 6 years ago, we missed a connecting international flight thought no fault of our own – departing flight left almost an hour late, but we still would've made it except when we arrived, we taxied around for an eternity before we were let off the plane, and of course our connecting gate was on the other end of IAH. I still kick myself over not booking a longer layover. That scenario still haunts me.

Add me to the public transportation demon category — always lived in California, and public transport is not a real thing here unless you live in the SF area. A few recent NYC visits has helped though, prepare me for the French and Italian systems. I also spent a LOT of time on the Transilien site, creating local train schedules for our itinerary, which I screen shot and sorted on my phone., and it really helped me understand how the French Metro works, how to read the schedule, maps, etc. This is because of my main demon (who is also my main joy) — the husband.

He is super fun to travel with, because he is very enthusiastic and flexible about what we do. But, he is also an ageing musician of the classic rock variety, which means his hearing is shot. And that enthusiasm causes him to spend a lot of time looking around and marveling at the scenery (or his phone) instead of paying attention. And he does none of the planning, and semi-tunes out when I start going on and on about what I’ve booked/planned. So when travel time arrives, he is distracted, I have to repeat everything I say, and he depends on me to direct everything because I was the planner. Add in pickpocket issues, and there is the primary anxiety. How to get us from the airport to the hotel, and from city to city with luggage in tow, and not get pickpocketed in the expected confusion and stress of a large train station in a country that I don’t speak the language.

I told him some of the typical scams pickpockets use. I got a bit of “yeah, yeah”. Then I had him watch some YouTube videos where they show how quickly and easily one can be a victim. That got his attention. He seems to get it now, and when I told him the phones need to be secured in our pacsafe crossbody “wallets” before leaving the plane, and stay there until we reach the hotel, he agreed. Woo Hoo. That phone distraction is the worst, and setting it aside during the difficult train days I think will help a lot. I’ve looked at train station maps, and videos, so I feel comfortable with navigating that part.

Hopefully all of this demon stress planning will help make the actual trip much smoother and stress free.

I very much enjoy planning trips. I go into a lot of detail, reviewing hotels/B&Bs, restaurants, tour, etc. It is almost like I experience the trip before the trip itself. Also, we hope the places we visit are not much like home, since we want to experience new places and cultures. We do love GB, Ireland, Canada, Australia and NZ since there is a similarity with the USA, but also very much enjoyed countries like China, India, Japan, Egypt, Morocco, etc.

I was raised by parents that grew up during the depression. They never wasted anything. We always ate all the leftovers and were careful spending anything. My dad was an attorney and we weren't rich, but comfortable, still, the motto was "Waste not, want not."

It stuck with me and while I am generous with gifts at Christmas and birthdays, I am always looking for value. I prefer quaint B&Bs to five star hotels. Prior to booking a tour, I compare similar tours with several tour companies and also consider doing it on our own. Of course, the older I get, the more I lean against DIY.

Seems most the anger is because of over-planning.

"watching and observing people being angry, " -- probably due to "Hangryr" , especially when visiting the Mouse.

Must remember to eat and bring along those protein bars.

I'm also cheap. My parents were Depression-era children, and I inherited their thriftiness. So, I sometimes sacrifice comfort to save $$$$, especially on flights.

Another is flight change/cancellation anxiety. My very first trip outside of North America, our flight from Tokyo to Vancouver was delayed by 9-hours. We didn't know this until we arrived at the airport, so we sat there all that time, and, of course, we missed our connecting flight to Calgary. We ended up on another, later flight, and were stuck sitting amongst a very loud, drunk sports team. We were exhausted. Fortunately, the flight was not too long. My very first trip to Europe, our flight from London to Paris was cancelled the day before we were set to leave. We were also unable to check in and select seats on our flight to London. We were flying British Airways, and they were having rotating strikes at the time. British Airways was unable to offer us another flight that left within a reasonable time --there were none until several days later. Our three (then) teenagers were coming on the trip, which meant five of us had booked holiday time for this. I scrambled to book us on the Eurostar. (We didn't mind this part--we had chosen the air transfer simply because the booking through to Paris was cheaper than the flight to London, alone, for some reason.) But, because we had been unable to do seat selection, we were stuck, separated, in the worst seats--the ones that didn't recline with the bathrooms behind and/or middle seats between strangers--on an overnight flight. Our second trip to Europe, on a flight to Portugal, with a transfer in London, TAP was having rotating strikes. When we left, our flight was still showing as operating. However, when we arrived at Heathrow, it was showing as delayed by an hour. This kept going on. We'd watch the board, and as the new time for the flight arrived and we'd be watching for the gate number, the flight would end up showing as being delayed further. This went on for 8 hours (and we'd already had a 3 hour wait for the original flight time). We wondered if we were going to get a flight at all. Finally, we were put on a different flight, the only one that TAP ended up operating to Lisbon that day, and we arrived in Lisbon after 11 pm, instead of in the late afternoon, as planned. For our trip to Costa Rica, we were supposed to have a 2 1/2 hour layover at LAX. Our daughter was flying home from Mexico that day, and we were going to drive to the airport, hand off the car to her, and she would drive the car home. But our flight to Costa Rica from LAX ended up being changed to a later time, and our flight from Calgary to LAX ended up being changed to an earlier time. Our daughter's flight home was changed to a later time, too. So, we ended up with a 9-hour layover at LAX, and had to find a ride to the airport, instead.

The best laid plans......

My other travel demon is my wonderful husband. He and I are very compatible travellers, EXCEPT when it comes to eating. I can delay eating until I find a place that appeals to me, with local food, etc. My husband, when he needs to eat, needs to eat RIGHT NOW or he gets very hangry. So, sometimes, we end up eating at an unappealing place or eating fast food, which is annoying to me. However, this is a minor annoyance, and, if possible, we now try to plan our days so that we find a good place to eat before his hunger takes hold.

Allan, when you posted this topic, it reminded me of a book I read not long ago. It might interest you, if you like fiction. It's called "Indians on Vacation," and the author is Thomas King. The protagonist is a grumpy traveller (based a lot on King, himself, I'm guessing), and his travel partner (wife or girlfriend--I forget) is trying to enjoy everything in spite of his grumbling. He also has a lot of arguments with his inner demons, which he refers to as "Eugene and the other demons." It's quite funny, as many of King's books are wont to be.

Merely going to add my travel philosophy. Solo traveler, no family.

It’s my money, what else am I going to spend it on?

When my partner was alive we were working and rarely traveled. Then after retirement we enjoyed a fabulous Fall sojourn to London. I purposely planned his first I’m in London moment by using the Underground from our Bayswater lodging to Westminster and taking the exit out onto the Thames Path near Westminster Bridge. As we walked out from the station and he saw the River he asked “ Is that the Thames?” Then by sheer luck the adjacent Big Ben bell peeled 4pm. He asked “ did you plan that? No but wish I had!” Lost him to minor throat surgery in 2016. Always appreciated how much he loved that trip to London.

Do I stay at 5 star hotels.? Nope. No desire. Do I fly 1st class? No, but did bump up to Premium Economy a decade ago and have never looked back. Do i go to Michelin restaurants? Again, no. That’s not my style. I’m big on street market food stalls, food halls, pub grub, picnic lunches, BnB’s breakfasts.

Friends, freedom, food.

Simple pleasures are my life these days.

Allan, when you posted this topic, it reminded me of a book I read not
long ago. It might interest you, if you like fiction. It's called
"Indians on Vacation," and the author is Thomas King.

Thanks for the book tip BB. There’s a 12 week wait at the library for it. I've put a hold on it.

Allan, you can’t be that cheap, you went to Disneyworld! Most expensive day ever.
My travel demon is just the feeling that I wont get to all the places I want to go before I’m gone!

@Allan, your demons (and mom) are like mine. I pre-plan my trips to the nth degree. I lay awake at night thinking about the logistics, then spend hours at my computer planning my routes. Last night I took screenshots of the airport, the bus station and the train station so that I would be familiar with them and then left copious notes in Google Maps.

And money? My mom grew up during the depression and my parents were frugal with every bone in their body. They only had one credit card and kept it locked up "for emergencies." My mom made all her clothes and most of ours. They only owned one car between the two of them. The thing is that they had plenty of money - they just didn't want to spend it. They both worked but saved like crazy.

Growing up with that has made me conscious of what I spend money on. Logically I know that I have enough money to stay in a nice hotel, but emotionally I look for the cheapest room in the city. I will drive for 10 minutes to find a free parking space so I don't have to pay a fee, and will spend hours figuring out my itinerary to get the best train ticket price.

As I've gotten older, it's gotten easier. I have to talk myself into spending money sometimes, but it's not as arduous as it used to be. I've actually booked some more expensive hotels on this upcoming trip without cringing. 😊

I am surprised by the number of people who say they worry about how to get from the airport to their hotel. We always take a taxi. It's the easiest mode of transportation. And we have never spent a ton of money on taxis, IMO. I think the most we spent was $50 to get from CDG to our hotel in Paris. Well worth every penny. Didn't have to worry about schlepping around metro stations with luggage or waiting for buses. And we take taxis from train stations to hotels.

I do worry a bit about train travel even though it is very easy and fast. I worry about getting on the wrong train, or missing a connection if the first train is late. But so far we have never had a problem with train travel. Atocha Station in Madrid was a bit intimidating at first.

@kmkwoo —once our flight lands, our entire trip involves train travel, so we need to just deal with the anxiety and get past it. If we are completely wiped when we land, we might opt for the taxi but honestly think it’s better for us to try to use the train system. Sometimes, what was a fear becomes a sense of accomplishment once tackled.

I think the challenges of travel--technology, transportation, etc.--are the sources of some of the rewards of travel. The fact that you can function in an alien environment in the modern world at a certain age is a testament to your capabilities. That being said, my travel demon is that I never want to come home. Even if a trip is so-so my husband has to drag me to the airport at its end. It's not that home is bad, it's that travel gives so much energy.

As I've gotten older, it's gotten easier. I have to talk myself into
spending money sometimes, but it's not as arduous as it used to be.
I've actually booked some more expensive hotels on this upcoming trip
without cringing. 😊

Mardee, my cheapness has no logic. We've planned an overnight stop in Rye, England in September and we're staying at the Mermaid Inn for about $350 for the night. But then, if I have to pay a Pound for a pay toilet, I'll lose my cool.

Regarding paying for toilets, after we took a couple of day trips to France and used the free toilets there, we were more than happy to return to Switzerland and pay $2 to use a nice, clean toilet. 😊

I'm the son of a 1930's era Survivor--of the Depression. I'm frugal in many ways, but not nearly as frugal as my wife who grew up in extreme poverty. She's the one that scours Scott's Cheap Flights and comes up with airfares less than half that of normal fares.

We were disappointed when our 6/2022 RCCL Baltic Cruise was cancelled. Fares started at $404 for an inside cabin, but we actually were going for a much nicer room. Plan B is to take a cruise out of Athens coming back into what Royal Caribbean calls Venice--but is actually Ravenna, Italy--a 4 hour train ride south of Venice.

Our problem is that on the day before the embarkation, the morning flights from London to Athens are in the low to mid $200's for the most part. There are 3 of us, and that hurts the budget--as if we ever used budgets.

Getting back up to Venice is not easy after the cruise, especially since the wife is temporarily mobility challenged and on a folding travel electric scooter. I can handle the luggage, but she keeps outrunning me @ 7 mph. We've got the travel thing figured out after going to Vegas & Germany recently with the scooter. It's those Tube stations in London without elevators that are the challenge.

We'll be taking a ferry to town and a regional train up to Venice where we can catch a budget European flight back to London. And we may be staying out at Heathrow cheaper than staying in our regular London neighborhood that's running the $200's a night.

Travel is my demon. We are retired, and seldom do any domestic travel within North America. But when I'm planning to take a trip, I often will start by pulling up the airports that I'm flying from, to and through on Wikipedia. Someone within the airline industry keeps the Wikipedia airport info updated minute by minute including where every flight goes. I can also easily use those Wikipedia airport articles to figure out if there are alternative airports within close proximity of where we're traveling that might be cheaper.

Many of the European budget air carriers are not listed on Google Flights, ITA or on the internet other than their own websites. Wikipedia tells me which airlines websites I can directly go to for prices and flight times. Those willing to put up with their terms and conditions can often save big $ on European flights--especially when travelling light.

I'm really more of a value shopper as price is not everything. It's a balance between price, time of arrival and the time in the air. I'm okay to spend 4 hours sitting in an interesting airport waiting for my connecting flight, but it's got to save big $ to wait any longer.

My other big go to is Google Maps. I'll pull up a city and neighborhood we're wanting to visit. Then I'll click the "++" and up pops hotel icons with prices. It's so easy to click on those icons and see what rooms are available. Often it's cheaper going through their websites than they're paying Booking.com or Hotels.com's commission for using their services. When I visit a foreign city, I often know the neighborhood and available restaurants and underground stations before I even get there. It makes for efficient travel.

I am surprised by the number of people who say they worry about how to
get from the airport to their hotel. We always take a taxi.

We rarely grab a taxi at the airport, but often book a private car in advance. But those demons still force me to map the route through the airport to where I'm supposed to meet the driver, and a plan of how to contact the driver in case I can't find him...those demons are a mischievous bunch that force me into a lot of advanced planning.

In Europe I never take a taxi from the airport upon arrival to the hotel, only once vice versa from the Paris hotel to CDG.

In London and Frankfurt always public transport, likewise in France taking the RER. The expense has nothing to do with it, basically not interested in a taxi ride after the long flight. I stay very close to the train station anyway.

I'm an advocate for becoming intimately familiar with certain parts of a trip, like navigating the airport to train or bus, and then to the hotel. What helped me was Google Maps where I could virtually walk from a Metro station to our VRBO. We're already in a mental fog due to jet lag, so that very much eased the stress. YouTube videos are helpful, too.

As far as money goes I'm budget-conscious, but what we dealt with in our 20s we're less willing to endure in our 60s, so for long-haul flights we splurge for premium economy as it definitely makes a difference in how we feel upon arrival. If I'm wedged into an economy seat then sleep is probably a non-event. Again, in my 20s it didn't matter because I had energy to burn. As for accommodations we once found whatever was cheap, but lesson-learned over the years is you normally get what you pay for.

Probably the #1 lesson is to do your research.

As for Disney World, my main memory is sweating through my clothes with my soggy daughter on my shoulders and standing in line.

Oh, yes. Seat selection. That's a priority. I recall--more than once-- seeing people sitting literally a few feet from the bathroom door and they looked downright miserable. Of course it smelled bad. I also want to ensure we get seats together and an aisle seat, as I need to stand up and walk a bit every hour or so.

I feel bad for this but sometimes there is a bit of schadenfreude when travelling.

navigating airports. Finding my way. figuring out the subways. Trains to the destination.

That's what we call adventure.

I just posted a trip report and my biggest lesson reported basically sums up your post!

I think, in order to have mostly stress free travel, one must have both of these: Money and lots of it. An easygoing/flexible personality. I am a low-income perfectionist, so stress-free travel is not accessible to me. It's a matter of whether the stress is worth it and trying to do exactly as you describe with getting from airport to lodging or from lodging to attraction, next destination, etc... (I cannot rest or enjoy anything if I don't know exactly how that's happening) but trying not to plan within an inch of my life, which I tend to do.

I think planning is like money. They say that money absolutely makes people happier... up to a point (and not a very large point) and after that, it does not increase happiness or life satisfaction, and at some thresholds only adds to stress. I have a hard time stopping at the point of happier when it comes to planning because my brain is screaming that everything will go better if I have it perfectly mapped out. It's just paradoxically the opposite after a point.

PS. Paid potties really burn my biscuits too and it's 100% because of my dad, but I'm learning what's worth paying for, and a toilet makes the cut. I get my savings jollies from things like using Nasoni for an entire Italy trip and never buying water.

I love this thread! This is the kind of travel stuff I could talk about all day long.

I love planning my trips. I travel solo more often than not (tho sometimes w/my college age son and or my husband) typically shorter trips to a big city in Europe, less often domestically.
I don't necessarily plan because I have a lot of anxiety, but because the planning and anticipation is half the fun. I do like to know how I'm getting from the airport to my first lodging and I almost always use public transportation. I am a big fan of it and almost feel like taking a taxi, Uber or private car is a cop out. I love trying to figure out a local transit system. When I travel, I like to feel more like I am temporarily living there, more than I'm there to sightsee. I love going grocery shopping in a foreign country and wandering through neighborhoods and parks. Figuring out public transport, tapping my transit card and getting on a train or bus like I know what I'm doing, is a big part of that.
My biggest area of travel anxiety is looking like an idiot - not knowing how something works. An example of that would be going through the grocery checkout line when the cashier is asking things like, do you need a bag? Do you collect saver points? or whatever. Or public transit. For example, in Paris, you have to (or used to, I think they're phasing these out) insert your paper ticket into a slot and wait for it to come out the other side. In London, there is a somewhat convoluted system of tapping in and out (or not) in order to have your daily journey total capped. In Berlin you validate your ticket the first time you use in in a box on the platform of the U- or S-Bahn. If you don't know to validate it, or don't know to validate only once, and you get busted, it's a 60 euro fine. I do not want to be the clueless tourist getting a dressing-down from a ticket inspector on a crowded car, or holding up the line at the turnstile because I don't know how to get through.
I also try to learn some survival phrases in the language of wherever I'm going. I can speak basic German and I took French in college, so at least recognizing some basic phrases and being able to understand announcements and read signs alleviates some of my travel stress in those countries. But when my question or greeting in the native language is answered with a rapidly spoken, lengthy reply, I just freeze. Anticipating that causes me some anxiety.
I find that Google Maps is extremely helpful in alleviating some travel stress. I check out the area with maps and street view around where I'm staying before I go to see if there are cafes and supermarkets. I use Google Maps for walking directions constantly. Someone here in the forum in a post a within the last couple of months said that they don't want to travel with their cell phones. In this day, traveling without a phone would make travel infinitely more difficult. At a minimum, you don't have to block the sidewalk while you stand there looking at your big paper map - you can look at your phone, or put your earbuds in and have it give you turn-by-turn walking directions.
Lastly, I am a HUGE fan of pay toilets. As a woman of a certain age, I do not want to have to hunt for a toilet. I don't want to have to go buy an espresso at a bar in order to use the WC (thus perpetuating the need for one). Pay toilets are inevitably clean and well stocked. I always have a pocketful of change from where I don't want to hold up a line (see above) counting out change to pay for something, and just hand over a Euro note, thereby accumulating a ton of coins. Pay toilets are the perfect place to use all that change.

I don't want to have to go buy an espresso at a bar in order to use the WC (thus perpetuating the need for one).

I got caught in this cycle in Paris one very jittery day. Espresso, pee, espresso, pee. It was an odd day.

My biggest area of travel anxiety is looking like an idiot - not
knowing how something works.

I get that. On my first European adventure in 2014 I made the mistake of not even trying to speak the local language because I didn't want to look like an idiot when I messed up. But I sense I did something worse, I suspect I came across as rude for not even trying.

A big thank you has to go out to Rick Steves and his guidebooks. They're truly original in their content of being more than just a list of suggestions of what to see. I value the books for the practical information such as basic language lessons.

Allan, our attempt with trying to speak the local language this past Sept. in Switzerland left me more confused than ever. 😊

The Swiss seemed more amused than appreciative when we tried to speak German/Swiss German. And they liked to correct us when our pronunciations were not correct. I’m still confused about how to say thank-you over there. I thought for sure it was “dan-ka,” like in song Danke Schoen. But multiple people corrected me and said it was “dan-kay.” And then depending on what region of the country we were in, hello was either "gruet C" or "gruet sa."

I’m going back in June by myself and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I think I might just be better off speaking English.

In many cultures, they believe they are doing you a favor by correcting your pronunciation, assuming you would want to know. Its not an insult. Americans do that too. People can judge a sincere effort from a lazy half-effort.

Stan, I totally get that the intent is to help and I am appreciative of that. It just really threw me for a loop because we had been practicing for months and months. I still can’t believe our pronunciations were wrong. 😊

Carrie I think if you say grüezi fast enough, they won't hear the difference between "-C" and "-sa". Probably appreciated more than Guten Tag either way.🙂

I always go with a dank-eh. Kind of in the middle.

Stan, thanks for the tips!!!! I’m editing my flashcards now. 😊 And now that I’m looking at your dank-eh, I think that might have been what they were saying.

My mom convinced my sister and I to take Latin in high school. So, we’re both pretty helpless when it comes to language skills. But, we are certainly eager to try.

P.S. Sorry Allen for turning your post into a language class. 😊

Kayla.P, if I’m using a new type of transit, I like to put in some buffer time to just take a minute to observe how people are doing the process. I have been known to place my ticket in upside down and slow down the entrance point - oops!

And I agree with you about the paid toilets. There’s been some train stations where I wished the toilet had been a much cleaner paid option! Although, I would rather spend those coins on gelato! 😉

@carrie, Swiss German is almost a whole 'nother language from standard German, and there are dialects too (much like the German spoken in Bavaria and Austria is different from what's spoken in northern Germany). My son went to German immersion camp for a couple of summers in high school and they always had a day where they learned about Swiss German. There was one camp leader who was fluent in Swiss German and my son said what he spoke was barely comprehensible to him.

You might find this entertaining:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89adaKKIkUw&ab_channel=EasyGerman

I don’t fret over how to get from point A to point B. I just save the route in advance on my cell phone. I also like smaller hotels in a central location and I spend a bit of time reading reviews, check the location for easy public transportation and it’s proximity to higher end accommodations. The closet in my mind means probably a better location? So far this has worked well.
I like to avoid touristy restaurants so I look for more local establishments.

My biggest issue is the lack of sleep on flights. I suffer from migraines and not having enough sleep is a trigger for me, as well as bad weather and can really mess up my trip.
On our city tour of Venice, the city guide stopped mid sentence and told me to smile and she then picked right back up with her presentation. Well, I left and found a place to sit as I developed a migraine 20 minutes earlier. My rescue medication finally kicked in but I didn’t care to continue on with her.

No matter what, I always speak High German over there, be it Bavaria, Austria, have not been to Switzerland yet. I know they will understand me, whether i always understand them is another story, sometimes yes, ie 98% , no problem at all, sometimes ca. 25%...just depends...that's bad. . When they use dialect words along with high German words, my comprehension takes a nosedive. That's when I ask them to repeat it, reword it, still in the target language, which they always helpfully do.

I welcome their corrections , criticisms and ask them to correct me, pronunciation, grammar, diction, expressions, idioms, etc, etc....feel free to do so.

Allan, our attempt with trying to speak the local language this past
Sept. in Switzerland left me more confused than ever. 😊

One of the things that made me shy away from trying to use some Italian were the many greetings, for hello, good evening, etc. I was so confused of which one to use in which situation, that I stuck to "hello."

A few years later in France I was more determined and I was getting quite good at at least at asking for a table in a restaurant. I was pretty certain I wasn't fooling anyone, but at one restaurant I confidently asked for a table for two and the host spoke back to me in rapid fire french. I had no idea what he said and the deer-in-the-headlights look on my face must have been enough to make it clear that I didn't speak french and he switched to english.

On our city tour of Venice, the city guide stopped mid sentence and told me to smile and she then picked right back up with her presentation.

This is such a peeve of mine. I wish people would stop demanding people arrange their faces the way they want them.

kayla.p., thanks for the video. After watching it, I’m thinking maybe my next trip should be to England. 😊 I'm actually heading to Austria in Sept., but I haven’t started to look at the language there yet. I figured I better wait until after my Switzerland trip, so I don’t confuse myself any more than I already am.

Fred, thanks for the suggestion to ask for help. I’m hoping I’ll feel a little more comfortable on this next trip. The trip to Switzerland last year was my first trip out of the US, and my first vacation in 20 years. I felt like I was in a daze the whole time I was there.

Allan, oh no, I’m heading to Italy next March. I was just planning on saying bongiorno all the time. 😊

@ Carrie....You're welcome.

Absolutely no need to feel intimidated language-wise. I have that feeling too, but not with German, only French. What can one do? You just plug on.

"They" know you are a language learner, did not grow up there, a beginner with the German, and so and so on. You speak to them in High German, they will understand you. The Swiss do not expect others, eg, Germans or those having studied the language, non-natives to Swiss German to understand them.

You use High German with them, they will do likewise or they will speak to you in English. They obviously won't reply to you in Swiss German since they know you won't understand it....so, no need to be confused.

I found another demon on our last trip to Barcelona. I took the underground one stop to pickup some fast food across from La Familia Sagrada. Our granddaughter is not always variable with food.

When I returned, I got turned around coming up a different set of steps into a plaza. I ended up walking a mile--going in the wrong direction before finding anything familiar. And the locals don't speak the same NewYorican Spanish I'm used to hearing.

Next trip, I'm going to get a wrist compass for such situation. They always point you in the right direction.

@carrie, if all else fails, after you've said "guten Tag" or "Hallo", if you say "English?" almost always the person you are speaking to will try their best to accommodate you.
If you're interested in actually learning some German, you could give duolingo a try. A couple of months before my first trip to Germany in 2014, I did duolingo every day. I was amazed at how much the little bit I learned - things like travel words, fruits and vegetables, transportation, and very basic grammar and sentence structure - enriched my trip. We took a day trip to Garmisch-Partenkirchen from Munich to ride a funicular up a mountain for a hike. Back at the bottom, I had to ask someone in a shop about how and where to catch the bus to the train station and how much it was (we didn't have an international smart phone plan at the time). She didn't speak English, but she understood my little bit of German and I understood her answers. It was thrilling! I've kept up my German studies off and on since then. I'm still thrilled every time I'm able to conduct even the smallest transaction totally in German.

@David, my husband ALWAYS carries his compass with him when we travel. Even though we both have smartphones and are adept at using Google Maps, his compass lives in his cargo pocket for moments exactly like you described!

I happily plan all of our family vacations because I truly enjoy it. Researching, determining the itinerary, figuring out the logistics, making reservations, buying advanced tickets when needed — I love it all. My “travel demon” is getting annoyed with my husband when he asks questions like, “so, what’s on the agenda for today?” Or “where is our hotel located again?” Of course I know this is easily solved by my husband and daughter contributing more to vacation planning, but I just can’t seem to give this up!

Of course I know this is easily solved by my husband and daughter
contributing more to vacation planning, but I just can’t seem to give
this up!

I had to laugh and warn you to be careful what you wish for. In the good ol' days when my kids were young they happily went along when we chose sure our destinations. We took our first vacation a few years ago with our adult kids and suddenly they had opinions, and since they have their own money, they think they should have a say...😁

Allen, so true! Haha.

Allan, my travel demons are planning everything for at home and away and making sure things go smoothly but as you know stuff happens regardless of the best laid plans. So I am a worrier. My husband’s contribution to all of this is learning the lyrics to “Volare” and “That’s Amore” for our upcoming trip to Italy. LOL!

My travel demon is having absolutely NO sense of direction. I can't find my hotel room from the lobby. I can't find my hotel in Rothenburg, and it's a block from the plaza. However, I'm the planner- and we're leaving very soon. Not sure my husband actually knows what countries we're going to. However, he has a sense of direction, and can read a map, all of which I find impossible, so I have to bring him.

Great comment, Mary!

Safe travels !

Love it, Mary!

Kayla, thanks for the additional tip. And I’m not familiar with duolingo, but will definitely check it out.

Pat, I thought for sure you’d be in Germany or Austria by now. 😊 Have a great trip!!!!

My travel demon (thankfully I’m aware of it and it doesn’t last long), is when we are close to leaving and I suddenly feel overwhelmed and I suddenly wish we weren’t going. I don’t know why I feel like that, but I do. It does pass.

Lulu348, yes! Every trip. But it stops when we leave home.

@Lulu348 I get that feeling too and I don't know why. Generalized anxiety, probably.

@carol and @roubrat, I feel better it’s just not me that experiences that feeling. I agree it’s probably just anxiety over all the planning.

Google Pre-trip anxiety. It's a thing.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/travel/dont-panic--heres-how-to-handle-your-pre-trip-anxiety/2018/08/29/5133caf0-a7d8-11e8-97ce-cc9042272f07_story.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/travel/dont-panic--heres-how-to-handle-your-pre-trip-anxiety/2018/08/29/5133caf0-a7d8-11e8-97ce-cc9042272f07_story.html

Misery loves company! We're leaving this week so I, too, feel better. I know that once we are a block away from home I will forget my worries but for now I'm nervous about the whole trip.

I’m not sure if reading about everyone else’s travel anxiety is comforting or discouraging. I was hoping that after I got a little more travel experience, all my worries would go away. Sounds like they might not. ☹

There's travel anxiety/nervousness, and then there's panic disorder/phobias (which need professional help). I think it's OK to be anxious before a trip (within reason). It's natural for your mind to be thinking about if everything is in place, if you haven't forgotten anything, if things will go OK at the airport, do you definitely have the right paperwork, etc.

I don't think the goal is to not feel any anxiety. What I do is write down what exactly is making me feel anxious to try and pinpoint a concrete thing that's bothering me. Then I come up with a solution. For example, let's say I'm getting really anxious about figuring out the train from the airport to the city center when I arrive. I write down clearly in bullet point a list of things to help that (Print out train map/schedule, have train app loaded, Look at Youtube videos of people arriving at that airport and catching the train, go to ticket counter and ask a person, if all else fails you can take a cab, etc.). It really helps.

It also helps to know that most of what we worry about will never happen. Ricks Steves has a line in one of his books that says "Don't be a creative worrier" and I repeat that to myself when I start getting worked up.

Yes. Someone once told me: "I know that worry helps. The things I worry about don't happen."

Janet, thanks for that. 😊

I like that one, Janet.

My main demon is - Public Transportation!!! My first experience in Florence trying to figure out what train what track while my travel companions slept on the floor ... we didn't make the right train but a local took pity on my and helped me find a train going in our direction, I still have nightmares about it. I'm trying again on my upcoming trip in May....I've told my travel companions my story and that although I did buy all our tickets THEY are responsible to help get us from point a to point c... Florence to Milan to Stresa. Funny story about this .... one of my travel companions freaked out and sent me an email that I had booked the wrong date ... so I freaked out and double checked .... felt great when I could point out DATE/MONTH/YEAR not Month/date/year. Points for me!!!

I new travel anxiety related to covid and testing. I have kept a pretty good attitude throughout our covid experience. I'm a rule follower so masks and vaccines and booster - check - but OMG ordering tests making sure my travel companions have their tests but I'm really nervous about taking the test for our return flight and testing positive. UGH!

All the different replies contain some of the same fears … planning, away from home, travel to/from locations, local travel, food, restrooms, language/idiot, technology, spouse and costs … here’s my take:

Planning – I’m the consummate travel planner, almost to the point of the actual trip being anti-climatic … I have my spreadsheet, pics of maps and routes, reservations, tickets, etc… both printed and in my phone … as was mentioned, once the trip begins I get over any worries real fast … at that point, it is what it is
Away from home - this worries me sometimes, usually for trips of 2+ weeks, but we have relatives nearby who check the house and we inform a few neighbors so they keep a watchful eye
Travel - I’m a battle-hardened traveler … after about 30+ years as a non-rev, I’ve bounced all around the country just because flights had open seats so I could get home, ran from gate to gate to catch a flight in a time that would make Usain Bolt jealous (and he wasn’t even carrying bags … yes it's a downside of not checking bags but I don’t have to worry about them … which leads to my first law of airplane travel … DBG ∝ 1/TBF … the Distance Between Gates is inversely proportional to the Time Between Flights), spent many nights in airports/hotels because I couldn’t get out on the last flight, been pulled off flights right before departure when someone’s connecting flight got them there just in time, and so on … I don’t worry, I look at my options, make a plan and execute … and email my boss I need another vacay day
Local travel - no fear since I grew up in New York City in the 70’s so reading subway maps, bus routes, and crowded buses/trains are a piece of cake
Food - I’m not the most adventurous and by no means a foodie, but I'm game to try local cuisine and almost always not disappointed … no worries I’ll go hungry
Restrooms - when you have to go you have to go, so if Plan A (the free WC) doesn’t work out, I go to Plan B and pony up the euro, so no worries … but it’s like putting my hand in a pocket full of tacks getting to that coin
Language/Idiot - doesn’t bother me, I’ll never see them again so what do I care if they think I’m an idiot … I try to be courteous, will move aside if I don’t know what I’m doing as to not hold up others and I’ll try to speak in their language … if I goof something up, most appreciate your efforts and will help with the correct wording
Technology - I’m an IT guy so no worries there
Spouse - I do the planning and my wife is not interested in details until a few weeks out, then I have to explain everything (usually for nth time) so that gets frustrating … but we’re good travel buddies (except for a few ‘disagreements’ during the trip) so no worries here
Costs - like many of my fellow boomers, we grew up where money was tight (my family had 6 kids, my wife 8), so while not cheap, I look to cut costs where possible … I’m not worried about the trip cost since most of my working life I’ve put aside $$$ from each paycheck into a vacation fund for family vacations and pre/post retirement travel, but my worry is I guess I’ve read too many articles saying you need at least 1 million to retire (and the way things are going, it might be 2 mil ) so I’m brain-washed … while I doubt I’ll reach that magic number, we should be okay (unless my daughter doesn’t chop her wedding guest list from the current 300+ … but that WILL happen) … but I do worry about not having enough as the golden years fade so every dollar saved now will help later

But I do have a worry that I haven’t seen mentioned … not getting the perfect picture (no, I don’t Instagram) … I’ve stood in the same place for extended periods (usually leading to one of those ‘disagreements’ mentioned above) until no one is in the picture, snap a photo or 2 (or 10), then worry if I got it perfect since my window of people-less opportunity closes quickly … while not as high on the criticality list as other things, I still worry.

But I do have a worry that I haven’t seen mentioned … not getting the
perfect picture (no, I don’t Instagram) … I’ve stood in the same place
for extended periods (usually leading to one of those ‘disagreements’
mentioned above) until no one is in the picture, snap a photo or 2 (or
10), then worry if I got it perfect since my window of people-less
opportunity closes quickly … while not as high on the criticality list
as other things, I still worry.

My wife thinks my picture taking is her travel demon. I take a lot of photos and sometimes wander off leaving her wondering where I went. I can also stand patiently for a room to clear so I can get the shot I want, which can frustrate her. But she puts up with it because she loves the final result when we hang the best of the best on the wall when we get home.

Thinking about it, maybe photography can be a travel demon of mine. Sometimes I get so focused on what I'm seeing through the lens that I forgot to see it with my eyes.

How about fear of missing out? I get so worried about missing "the best" daytrip, site, city, museum, square, street, side-trip... I know you can't see it all, but dammit, I want to try.

I am frugal but will gladly spend money where it’s worth the value in my opinion. So, I would never pay for first class tickets or eat at a Michelin restaurant, but I will attend nice classical concerts in Europe and participate in cooking classes. I do create a piechart of planned trip expenses, and I will add extra activities in the plan if the cost percentage in “activities” is not high enough; that category is what I enjoy the most. So, no “demons” for expenses.

I absolutely love this philosophy and this tactic, Jean! Very cool.

I can also stand patiently for a room to clear so I can get the shot I want

This correlates to my biggest pet peeve ... there is that one person still in the line of view that, after looking directly at you and seeing you're waiting to take a picture, doesn't move off to the side for a moment so you can take your picture ... I totally understand their right to enjoy their time and should not have to hurry off because of me, but please be courteous and move over a foot or two if possible ... those aren't the exact words I'm thinking of at the time, but the end result would be the same.

I'm the planner - and I'm good at it - according to my partner of over 20 years. But when he ended up in hospital in China very ill - he said something that had never occurred to me - he was glad our roles weren't reversed - because he wouldn't have known what to do! Now China is a whole next level compared to Europe - but the comment has stayed with me.

Fast forward 5(!) years and we are finally going on an extended trip again (cruise-Europe-cruise) - and he's just bought a new phone and he's now in the loop on what is planned where and what is reserved (Tripit). Our general schedule (Evernote) and important documents (Evernote).

I made him entirely responsible for sorting out the insurance (hes the one with pre-existing medical not me) - so he knows exactly what /who / how to contact.

We have multiple layers of how to stay in contact with each other - does anyone use Find my to find their travel companions - seems like a good way to do it an you don't need to have a live cellular connection - wifi will do. As he walks slower than me - we will definitely get separated from time-to-time - that used to happen anyways LOL

I'm excited to being back travelling - but slightly worried about testing positive - we have to test to fly to Fiji within about 10 days - and yesterday we walked into the local mall which was heaving with unmasked under 12s - many of whom are also unvaxed (school holidays) - walked straight out again - not worth the risk for a coffee.

We will have a similar issue prior to getting on a cruise in SF in July - 10 days in Hawaii/SF prior - and we'll have to asses the risk of exposure nearer the time.

Great thread!

@roubrat - yes! The fear of missing out is so real.

I love a good plan. I like to know when, where, why, and how. My husband jokes that I would plan which hot dog vendor to visit in NYC If I could. He thinks he's being funny, but it's a true statement. I want to make sure we're maximizing our time because it is a gift. We successfully took our three teens to Germany, Austria, and Hungary a few years ago and I had a beautiful itinerary. Everyone loved it and I don't regret a single minute of that trip.

Having said that, I find myself always thinking of getting to the next spot without enjoying the spot I'm in. I often feel as if I'm in a rush so I don't miss anything. This is where my detailed research and planning become my nemesis.

We enjoy Hungary and have been several times. Last year, we found that sweet spot of low covid numbers and ridiculously cheap flights so we went. No plan. NO. PLAN. I didn't even pack particularly well. It was fantastic. We did a lot, but there was no rushing. It was the most relaxing trip we've ever had.

I learned that sometimes, just being in the moment is the best experience. We're going for an extended visit in the fall and while I have a list of things we'd like to do, I've decided I'm not going to plan them out.

which hot dog vendor to visit in NYC

Mmmmmmmm ... dirty water dogs ... nothing like a good Sabrett and the crunch from the casing when you bite into it ... used to get them 3 for a dollar in my college days, now it's probably reversed and 1 for $3

Successfully conquered our metro/train demon -- jumped in on day one and never looked back. 😊

Well, my travel demon reared its ugly head. Two days before our trip---we leave this evening--I learned that one of our flights had been cancelled. This was Croatia Air from Zagreb to Dublin. I received no notification and no information about what my options were. The only reason I even found out was that I was downloading apps for the trip and downloaded the Croatia Air app. I went to input my flight info and saw that it was cancelled. Fortunately, we were able to book a (worse) flight for the same day. Instead of a direct flight, we now have to change planes in Frankfurt and have only an hour to make the change. Wish us luck!

BB, I am sorry to hear that. That’s a fear of mine, too. We leave in 3 days and I’ve been checking a couple times a day.

I am definitely feeling anxiety over missing something, or something going awry. I need to start chilling.

Lulu, I am in Dubrovnik now and having a fantastic time. Hope you enjoy your trip, also, and all goes smoothly.