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Are you an oddball?

It's 30 days and counting until we leave for England. I talk about this trip to friends and family and they're interested, but not jumping up down down excited or outwardly envious. They'll be politely curious and ask, "why England, why Europe?" On the other hand, on Monday our daughter is off to Costa Rica for a week. When we bring this up with family and friends they are demonstrably excited with no questions asked. They have an easier time imagining and appreciating a week on a beach in an exotic location opposed to a trip of culture and history. I'm curious about your friends and family. Do they see you as the oddity because you go beyond surf and sand, or is it a passion you can share with more than just your Forum friends?

Posted by
9436 posts

Most of my family and friends love
to travel as much as i do, friends that don’t travel seem genuinely happy for me and want to hear about it.

Posted by
2792 posts

Honestly, I learned a long time ago that most people don’t really want to hear about my vacation as much as they want to talk about theirs. So I just don’t really discuss it. I have a few close friends who actually do care and are interested but random coworkers, casual acquaintances, work friends etc. they’re not really interested.

Posted by
2622 posts

Everyone I know (except my husband) would rather go to a beach or a theme park. Actually, most people I know go to the exact same beach each year. I was talking to my boss on a video call recently about vacation time, she had forgotten where I was going, and when I said Belgium and the Netherlands she looked as if I said the moon.

Posted by
5495 posts

I'd say our family and friends are almost an even split. In fact our DDs are just that. One daughter had 2 weeks in Peru last month and will be in Portugal next week. (Teacher: she really packs her summer vacations). And she avoids beach time whenever possible The other daughter prefers to save her vacation time for a winter island getaway on a beach resort.

Come to think of it DH and I aren't one or the other, but a combo. On our land travels we really enjoy the history and culture of the places we visit. But our next big trip will be a Pacific cruise where (other than a few visits to cultural centers) the majority of the time will be sun, sand, and water.

And really, how excited to you expect other people to be about trips you are taking or have taken? Maybe I'm the oddball, but while I'm glad to see friends and family enjoy whatever kind of vacation they choose, I rarely get worked up by any of them. Although I gotta admit to being a lot envious of DD1 when she did her African safari a few years ago.

Posted by
802 posts

It seems most people I know would rather not do anything too strenuous when they travel. They view that time as "vacation" rather than "travel" or "adventure". Fiji, Hawaii, beaches, and sitting around pools with drinks in hand seem to be more desirable than the effort it takes to really enjoy Europe. People ask me what we like doing "over there"? When I mention pursuing art interests and walking to investigate history their eyes glaze over. Many are also nervous about the many languages that are unfamiliar to them and many seem uninterested in extensive walking. Of course our very closest friends and relatives have the same artistic and cultural interests and will want to hear about our travels.

Posted by
6813 posts

People who know me a little probably think I'm a bit weird. Those who know me well are more sure of it.

I know plenty of folks whose idea of a vacation is a week in Orlando or Las Vegas, or on a famous beach. Nothing wrong with that.

When I tell them I thought Latvia was AWESOME, most just smile, nod and give me that look.

Vive la difference.

Posted by
4894 posts

Most of the people I know (discounting my brothers and my children) think I am an oddity for traveling as much as I do and by myself - doesn’t matter where I go. They admire it and love my pictures and love that it makes me happy, but would never go by themselves. Much less go some of the places I go by myself. I do have some wonderful travel friends - but even they won’t go solo.

That’s one reason I feel at home on the forum - I’m not an oddity here! Lol!

Posted by
23642 posts

A variation of this question seems to pop up from time to time. This is cheap psychology but I think some times this question is really a plead for approval of the your decision to travel. You may have some doubt about going so you want everyone around you to say, go, go, go ! You comment about your friends "not jumping up and down excited or outwardly envious." is telling. You want to be envied, special, unique for your decision to travel. Maybe they don't have that interest or desire. So for them going to Europe is not a big deal. My brother would not leave the states for any reason. Just no interest. And, at times behind our back, he was a little critical of our travel decisions. Make absolute no difference to us. I didn't need his approval for anything.

As for our circle of friends, most travel extensively, but it is not widely discussed either. Most of my cousins don't travel but it is a financial question as I am the weathy by a wide margin of all the cousins. Friends around us announce their travels plans, sometime ask question if they know we have been there and answer questions when they return. It is not a big deal either way. Maybe at a social event one of the them will hold court on their recent trip. But there is no real question of approval, disapproval of the travel. I don't how they perceive us --- and I really don't care.

Posted by
4071 posts

Outside of close friends, I don’t care what people think. This is not why I travel.

Posted by
7882 posts

This is just another reason why our local RS Travel group in the Coeur d’Alene/Spokane area enjoy getting together! We have often mentioned how much we get excited when someone is sharing an upcoming trip, and we also want to hear all about it afterwards. We laugh & say we get it while other people we know would be bored and not understand.

I have some friends who love to sit at a pool with a book as their vacation, and they thoroughly enjoy it. Everyone has their own favorites, and I am glad that we all don’t have the same definition of what makes a great vacation! Imagine how crowded & expensive it would become!

Posted by
9436 posts

One solution is to start a RS travel group in your area like many others have. I started one 8 yrs ago and it’s so much fun. Everyone is excited for you and everyone wants to hear all about your trip, before and after.

Posted by
2571 posts

In my experience, people who don’t travel find Europe overwhelming. We have family who go to all-inclusive resorts in Mexico. Usually the same area every year. They take a hotel shuttle from the airport to the hotel, sit on the beach for a few days, maybe take a day trip offered by the resort, then come home. Sounds boring to me, but I’m a history buff, not a beach bum.

The idea of independently booking airfare, transportation, lodging, etc is mind-boggling to them. Not to mention figuring out what to see, where to eat, how to communicate, etc.

Posted by
9249 posts

I am a Camino fan and people are sort of interested in hearing about it, but the thought of walking multiple days in a row through Spain or Portugal leaves them a bit surprised and maybe shocked and I think they don't really know what to ask, so they don't. I do have friends that are interested though, and are curious.
To each their own. The thought of spending a week on a beach sort of sounds nice, but would mainly wish to be somewhere else doing and seeing something more interesting.

Posted by
2815 posts

There are many interesting angles on these issues; the one I want to highlight here is related to my earlier thread about 'holiday' vs. 'vacation'. Several comments above make a distinction between what Rick calls 'fun in the sun' and something else that is closer to curiosity or a desire for edifying novelty, to learn about other places and people. My claim is that Americans particularly, because they have less paid vacation time than Europeans do, tend to understand time off work as the opposite of work, and therefore more like 'fun in the sun' or indulgence or pampering -- all the opposite of being on the clock.

So it makes sense that some people will think it odd that you spend your not-at-work time doing something that still has a lot of rules and constraints, like museum opening hours (like appointments) and shows that you have to dress up for and behave at (like meetings) instead of letting it all hang out on a beach and letting someone else do all the work like on a bus tour.

If 'fun' is the opposite of 'work' then fun must be unstructured and casual and ribald and all the other things 'work' is not. Hence also considering action sports as not really leisure activities -- a bicycling vacation or a climbing vacation is kinda sorta a vacation but not really because you're exerting yourself, amirite? Reading the wall texts in a gallery full of old paintings is kinda sorta a vacation not really because how can education be fun, amirite? You see what I'm getting at on this aspect of being labeled an oddball...

Posted by
1048 posts

No. One co-worker has at least traveled to Peru and Mexico. Another co-worker went to Macinac Island and before that Ireland. He went to Ireland alone. He is a single man who somehow made it to the age of 45 and still lives with his parents. Every other co-worker who traveled went with their spouse and/or their kids. One co-worker, a lady who grew up in Iraq, went to Egypt and visited Iraq sometime since moving to Michigan. When i asked if Iraq is safe enough to travel to, in a blaze non-humorous way she said something like, "yeah there's a ten percent chance I might die but I don't think about it". Another co-worker went to grand-teatons national park with her husband. My office manager has been to India and Spain (Barcelona, Madrid, Toledo, Segovia). She claimed that "we are not museum people. 6 days in Spain was plenty for us".

My aunt (my dad's sister) has been to Cuba, Kenya, Italy, the Canadian rocky mountains, her and my uncle have taken whole-trip-guided electric bicycle tours in Italy and Croatia. My grandparents on my dad's side went to Thailand, ukraine, turkey, Peru, Italy, Australia and New Zealand, and I am not sure where else. They took my dad to the western USA when he was a kid. A great aunt on my mom's side once gave me a kangaroo shaped stuffed toy she bought in Australia. My brother has been to Israel twice. Other than to Ontario Canada as a kid those were his only trips outside the USA. The parents of one of my second cousins went to Russia once.

A man 2nd cousin claimed that there is (big?) chance of getting kidnapped in the Balkan. He at least traveled to Peru with his close family once.

Once when i was about 12, I overheard that my grandparents on my dad's side were going to take my 3 first cousins to Mexico and me and my brother were invited to come. My mother said NO! I have never been to Mexico. I mentioned how mortified my mother is when I tell her I am taking taking a trip. She refuses to ride in a plane, she is afraid of boats, crossing bridges, heights, she claims she would b e petrified to be alone in a city in a foreign country try, and so on. My dad is not afraid of planes but lacks interest in travel. And he can't understand why just one week in another country isn't enough.

Posted by
204 posts

Allan
As soon as I saw the title of the thread, I thought “I bet it’s from Allen in Calgary”. Too funny. You can always be counted on for “unique” (and interesting threads), especially when NO ONE was travelling and we still wanted to connect and dream about future trips. Your stories sometimes made me laugh out loud. I especially liked the “who’s the jerk on the tour?” conversation on your RS adventure.

Nobody I know is particularly interested in my upcoming Best of England trip. Maybe they’re afraid I’ll go on and on about it. Or that I’ll want to show them the dreaded meaningless photos when I return. But then, I really don’t care what they think. It’s my trip, not their’s.

Posted by
148 posts

At a family reunion one year a cousin asked what was new and we mentioned we had taken a recent trip to southern France. Her response was “ Really? Why would you want to go there? I have no desire to travel, everything I want is here ( a smallish town in central Texas)”
Now that’s the oddball to us……

Posted by
3514 posts

Since my husband is a homebody, I usually have most and sometimes all, of each trip on my own.
Friends join in for part of some of them, but I love going to new places alone.
Most people I know keep saying how brave I am to do this, but really it just takes careful planning.
It’s an adventure!
Lots of people love that yearly trip to a resort or beach, but I’d be bored stiff.
They think I’m weird and taking risks for exploring places like Naples or Iceland or Paris in the winter alone.
Suits me fine!
And I love to hear all about everyone else’s travels, the more detail the better!

Posted by
15794 posts

I guess it's a North American "thing." Here in Israel I don't know anyone who doesn't have a passport. I have recently compared travel stories with my orthopedist, my auto mechanics, my computer guy as well as my neighbors and, of course, my friends. From the Europeans I meet on my travels in Europe, I get a sense that it's much the same for them.

Posted by
15020 posts

There are relatives, acquaintances , colleagues prior to retirement, and even friends who don't understand why I keep going back to Europe, which has been going on for the last 50 years. All that makes no difference to me. They have their choices and preferences as do I. Vacation to them means going to the beach or resort places, (Epcot, theme parks, etc. ) , other places instead of Europe, especially repeat trips focusing on France and Germany. Theme parks are to me a waste of time, entertainment. This notion of "surf and sand" does not define my idea of a vacation.

I go over to Europe for the food, (in certain ways), the cultural and historical sites, language, museums, architecture, the landscape.

Seeing me as an oddity...well, they most probably do since I also concentrate on foreign language as an adjunct to traveling effectively, which none of them is interested in.

Posted by
339 posts

One of our friends recently said, "I love Steve Ricks (not a typo). I watch his videos so there is no reason for me to travel to Europe". Ugh, I want to scream!!! Maybe we need new friends.

Posted by
1334 posts

This is a travel forum, so I’m trying to be delicate. The political polarisation in the USA has gotten so bad with some of my family members that European travel is almost seen as an act of treason, I won’t even post anything on Facebook that mentions degrees Celsius or Euros/Pounds.

Politics aside, yeah, most people I am casual friends with or coworkers fall into the drinks in both hands and all inclusive resort types.

My family never traveled as a kid once I was post cute little kid era and the grandparents didn’t demand to see the cute little baby any longer. I was pretty active in high school extra curriculars, so they got me to travel a bit, but of course it wasn’t quite the same.

Posted by
9022 posts

To each his own. In our circle of acquaintances, there are those who are curious and interested in the world outside the US borders, and those who aren't. The folks who wouldn't dream of spending a ton of money on visiting a strange country, are the ones who I judge to be foolish spending more money on bass boats and fishing trips, or new sports cars in retirement. If someone asks more-than-being-polite questions about a trip we took, or wants to talk about theirs, its like a secret handshake, and we know who we share the bug with.

Posted by
1894 posts

Great post Allan. I have thought that as well. I think the reason why people react rather uninterested and not as excited as we are after returning from experiencing weeks or months abroad can be explained in an article I read a while back. The article said the percentage of Americans who travel for pleasure internationally is quite low. I think it was less than 5%. Most international travel is for business or visiting relatives or friends.

I guess to answer your question, yes, many, if not most of us on this forum are oddballs because we find a pleasure in international traveling that many do not.

Posted by
2809 posts

I’m not about to embrace the term oddball : ) but few of my family members or friends travel as much as I do or go to the kinds of places I do. A lot of them are obsessed with going to the beach, which I just don’t get. To each his own.

This is one of the reasons I participate on this forum.

Posted by
759 posts

I'm retired, and most of my friends and acquaintances are pretty much like on the same wave length as I am about the world. So I don't get negative feedback when talking about where we just went or where we are going next. And, yes, those are mainly trips to Europe, although we also do road trips around the US.

My husband and I travel a lot because we like to, we can afford it, and we are getting older so we need to do as much as we can while we still can. My friends are always interested in where we're going next and so many say "send me pictures". Some friends who can't afford to travel tell me that they live vicariously through me.

Posted by
4625 posts

I've had this topic on my mind for a long time and the conversation with a friend yesterday about my daughter spurred me to my keyboard. The thought originally came to me because we have a very close group of friends who get together for a weekend in mid-July every year. This is a group we'd do anything for and discuss our most personal feelings, but we couldn't be travel partners. Couple #1 owns a cabin/future retirement home in the middle of nowhere that is about a 2 hour drive from their home. This is where they go for weekends and vacations, just hanging out, fishing, riding dirt bikes, etc. No desire to do anything else. Couple #2 want a sunshine destination where they can hang by the pool while being fed drinks. Person #3, is an avid outdoors person, skiing, kayaking, but seldom does it outside the country. Person #4 goes to Vegas every chance he gets. Pre-pandemic, there was an annual travel show in Calgary, and all of those travel examples were well represented, but the closest to international travel would always be cruising. Thus, my style of travel seems to always be under represented, making me the oddity. I'm OK with that. Please don't read between the lines of my post. There's nothing there but my curious nature.

Posted by
465 posts

Maybe? I have young kids so many people are surprised that we would take them on a 10 hour flight to Europe. For me, it’s worth it and I enjoy showing my kids new places, and am grateful to be able to do so. I also happen to love escaping the gloomy PNW winter for the beach in Hawaii.

Posted by
4625 posts

If 'fun' is the opposite of 'work' then fun must be unstructured and
casual and ribald and all the other things 'work' is not. Hence also
considering action sports as not really leisure activities -- a
bicycling vacation or a climbing vacation is kinda sorta a vacation
but not really because you're exerting yourself, amirite? Reading the
wall texts in a gallery full of old paintings is kinda sorta a
vacation not really because how can education be fun, amirite?

Avi, urrite. That appears to be the popular mentality; rest, relaxation, turn off your brain. I'm happiest when I'm moving and even happier if my mind is engaged. So my perfect day would be 10km of walking while looking, learning and experiencing.

Posted by
1105 posts

There are a lot of oddballs, even among the posters here. There.are people who only cruise, but they do it only on European cruises. There are posters here who state they have no interest in museums or art. Others who have no interest in the food. And some bound up by restrictive allergies or self imposed diets. Many just like to wander around and feel local. never defined beyond what we might make of that statement.
There are those who travel to Europe. That is it, Europe only. They would not entertain to travel anywhere else, yet are travel advocates.
Of course there is the ongoing struggle between do it on your own and going on a tour.
So, it seems that if you are in any of the above groupings, then perhaps you are not much adventurously different than those who “go to the beach”.

Another facet of travel and others interest in it is how interesting you are if asked about your trip. Are you eloquent or not? Some can tell a tale and some just give the facts. Can you hold an audience, or are you boring?

Posted by
3135 posts

You can only get so excited about something you're not doing.

Around here it seems everyone goes to Virginia Beach or the Outer Banks. Every year. I'd be bored.

Posted by
4627 posts

In our friend group of 8 couples in Bham, 4 of us traveled internationally (and not to Caribbean beaches) prior to Covid. By request of the group, we have actually hosted gatherings at our house where the international travelers did slide shows. Most of the non-European travelers also attended.

Dale, I'm so sorry to hear that. You can probably guess the political views of most of our friends, based on our locations, but it does not extend to travel to Europe-maybe because, prior to Covid, our church sometimes sponsored such trips, both for leisure and as missions trips, such as the one I participated in in Athens, Greece in 2019.

As to bravery, it takes more to go to downtown Bham.

Posted by
8159 posts

I think there are several kinds of travel/vacations, such as mindless trips that relax you, family trips that are fun, and trips that excite you and stir your curiosity.

This year I traveled to Germany for a month (solo) and experienced and saw sights and places I would never see in the US. I kept an online journal while I was traveling and posted a link to it on Facebook. Some of my friends ignored it (and that was fine) but others loved it and were agog that I would travel like that alone.

I also went on a road trip with my grandson, visiting national parks and interesting towns in 8 states; some of which I had never been to before. We spent time with several of my siblings on route, did a lot of hiking and at in interesting places. That was interesting to his siblings and parents and some family members, but I didn't post as much about this (except the shots of him standing at the edge of cliffs in Badlands, where I was sure he was going to fall off and die).

And I spent a week in Naples, FL at my brother's condo. That was probably one of the most relaxing trips I've ever had. I'm not a beach person but I really enjoyed walking on the beach each morning, hanging out and gossiping with my sister-in-law and getting a nice break from the sub-freezing Duluth weather.

They're all good and they're all what we need. That's why we travel. It makes us want to leave the comfort of our homes and get out into the unknown world.

Posted by
389 posts

Girlfriends are either horrified or clueless about the ony solo travels. A few venture out on tours but don't seem to having adventures or experiences,more like endurance to check off a list.
I stopped sharing my travel experiences long ago.
The person who does approve of my solo travels is my husband. (Perhaps he's relieved I not asking him to go!)
Oddly enough he is has very little interest in my travel experiences.
I call him most days from wherever I am and he wants to know if I am having a good time and no problems. He trusts my travel skills and experience, I've been solo traveling for 17 years now. I think it's sad when women tell me their husband won't "let "them go.

Posted by
1637 posts

I don't think I'm the oddball for wanting to travel the way I do. Friends, family and colleagues seem to think it's wonderful. What's strange though is that many of them, even those with more financial means than us, seem to have the complete inability to go forward with a similar plan for themselves.

Posted by
1606 posts

Anyone that knows anything about me knows that traveling is what sparks joy in my life. When I was younger, it was my kids and their activities. I won't guess if it will be something else in another decade.

In my job, I come into contact with with quite a lot people that I see periodically. Some of them are truly interested in my travels and always ask me about the last trip and about the next trip. Some of those are incredulous that I travel, sometimes on my own. Others are politely envious. Others are interested because I am interested. All of those levels of interest lead to different types of conversation. I realize now that these conversations are pretty similar to the ones that I had about my kids and their activities in the past. Before I had kids and before I was travelling, I remember that these topics weren't so interesting to me, so I do my best not to dwell and to give an appropriate amount of detail based on the other person's true interest.

At home, I am sure that I drive my family crazy at least some of the time. My non-traveling husband (health issues) is the best. He once owned the family's zeal for travel and he talks to me endlessly about it. He encourages me to consider destinations I haven't considered and learns or reviews historical and geographical information with me. But I think right now, he never wants to hear the word Paris again (trip is in 2 weeks and 5 days).

My adult son, who is now traveling with me (once a year for 3 of the past 4 years) thinks I am a nut. The amount of planning I do makes him anxious. All though he enjoys taking advantage of that and is grateful when we are on a trip.

My extended family asks me about my trips past and future because they know it is important to me, but they don't really want to know details. They do enjoy a funny or meaningful story.

I will lean into the label oddball as I think it attests to the intensity that I am applying to the thing that I am doing rather than the thing itself.

Posted by
3135 posts

periscope: I envy you.

Also, the same feeling visiting Dachau.

A friend does Sandals often. He and his wife like to chill, eat, and drink. Naturally, they love cruises, too. For me that's pure torture. I like a drink as much as the next fella, but all day chilling just doesn't fit me at all. I need to move and experience different things.

On another note my wife used to post vacation pics to Facebook or whatever, but she stopped doing that. I think she thought it looked a little like showing off as few if any of her friends travel internationally.

Posted by
7882 posts

Our neighbors & friends knew I was traveling for several weeks in June while my husband was home happily playing golf. Some of our neighbors mentioned that they would love to see my photos, but I assumed it was just a comment of being nice. Finally after one couple told us three times that they were serious, we had them over to see my photo summary, and they loved it! So there’s still people out there who are interested.

I do get more of the “oddball” comments from people who don’t know me well, hearing that I’m a married older woman traveling by myself…..not with friends….not on a tour?? Ha!

Posted by
371 posts

the phrase, 'to each his own' applies perfectly when it comes to leisure travel. most people see 'vacation' as a time to get away from the high-pressure tension-filled lives they have during the rest of the year. laying on a beach, a cruise or even an 'organized tour' is their escape. i have no argument with that. i on the other hand would not be seen dead participating in any of those activities. i prefer to travel solo, hauling a bagful of camera gear (i have calluses on my shoulder to prove it!) to europe, looking at architecture and art. as for others perceiving me as an oddity, i don't know. my family, friends, and colleagues all seem mildly interested in my overseas adventures! as for photos you are welcome to look at mine by visiting the link in my profile. unlike the slide show of the past, you will not be held hostage, haha!

Posted by
3347 posts

I don't think we should look to other people to validate our travel choices. After all, travel choices can change as life changes. There is no right way to travel or vacation. I love looking at other peoples travel photos, even though it might not be my choice. In fact, I don't find anyone traveling specifically my way. I have been traveling so long that I am very specific in what I want to do. Hence, unless with my husband who has the same interests, (but isn't really interested any longer,) I prefer to travel solo. Many people do not understand this. I also have friends who say they want to travel, but always seem to have an excuse not to do so. LOL. Many people look at me as if it's sad that I travel alone. Again, LOL.

I've always been an oddball as I was raised to compete with the boys, and beat them. It taught me well.

Since Covid, I've had a hard time being interested in the usual trips for many reasons...covid, large crowds, lack of importance, etc. Suddenly, I have been drawn towards the Camino and my heart feels full finally, and am hoping/planning to go in 2023. Now nothing else seems to interest me. Had you told me I'd be excited about schlepping all my belongings on my back for miles and miles each day and sleeping with many strangers in dorms, I'd have said you were nuts. It is soooo not me. However, life changes and we become more over time. For me, right now, I think I've had enough museums and tourist cities. I also expect that will change. But for now, I am just happy something has made me want to travel again! However, we shall see...

Posted by
8124 posts

Over the years, I just have found not to bring it up, other than if forced, starting with I am busy most of September, and if prompted where I am going. (Spain this time)

Most people I run into see Europe as one of those "once in a lifetime" things that must cost 10's of thousands of Dollars, but think nothing of a Caribbean Cruise or an all inclusive resort. They simply do not comprehend that I go to Europe with my wife for nearly a Month (always once a year, sometimes two), and spend less than they do at a 6 Day all-inclusive with their spouse. A few times I was able to use the 20th Anniversary...or 25, 30, 35, or just anniversary excuse if they seemed hung up on the perceived cost.

For the few that do ask more questions, I will take the time and relate how we travel...and they usually cannot comprehend it, too scary, too much work, too unknown.

I imagine in discussions in October about how things went in Spain, my responses will be along the lines of "Great, fantastic food and wine, lots of neat things to see", I don't pull out pictures or give them much more than that. On the other hand, I get to hear all about how they are experts on Mexico now after spending a few days bottled up in a resort.

Posted by
15020 posts

I recall before the first decade of the 21st century was out it was reported on CNN that ca. 25% of Americans had a US passport. If 9/11 had never happened, I wonder if that 25% would even be lower as more security measures were put in place following that horrific event.

I applied for my first passport in 1971 for the purpose of going to Europe, still is that way too, with the exception of a future trip to Japan.

Posted by
8159 posts

On another note my wife used to post vacation pics to Facebook or whatever, but she stopped doing that. I think she thought it looked a little like showing off as few if any of her friends travel internationally.

Mike, I was worried about doing that, too, and for the same reason, but many of my friends asked me to post photos and details so I did. I think some people are afraid to travel overseas - they're excited about the idea but are worried about the practical aspects of it. So that's one reason why I do that. I figure if they can see me, a 67 year old woman traveling solo, it might encourage them a bit. I always stress the budget aspects, too, so that they realize it doesn't always have to cost huge amounts of money.

That said, I do have friends who are wealthy and travel a lot, but their posts mostly consist of photos of their luxury hotels, and shots of cocktails and food at expensive restaurants. I don't think I've ever seen a photo of any scenery or museum from them. I do sometimes wonder if they are posting just to show off a bit.

Posted by
3575 posts

I don’t know if oddball is the term I would use for myself, but among my circle of friends, my lifestyle has definitely been “different”.
First, I am a scuba diver. It’s a passion and my husband is not a diver (doesn’t even like swimming in the ocean, go figure). So when we got married I said. “I’m not giving up my dive trips”.
We had a family and so, every other year I took a 2 week dive trip, while hubby stayed home with kids. How many other stay at home moms do I know who did this? Zero!

And like many on this forum, many of our friends don’t travel at all. I once mentioned to my hairdresser that I was off to dive the Galapagos islands. She had never even heard of them!
And I also only post travel stuff on FB and worry not a wit what others may think of my traveling lifestyle.

Posted by
9261 posts

I travel because I’m curious, blessed to be able to afford it and most importantly because it keeps me sane.

So much to explore and appreciate.

Been at it since my world-wind tour of Europe with my then college boyfriend in 1972.

Researching next sojourn…Norway? Africa? S. America? Nova Scotia? Iceland? Scotland? Petra?

Endless choices!

Oh and my friends are those I’ve known since age 5.
They appreciate my travels. Though one still questions how I can drink Guinness warm.

Posted by
3135 posts

Mardee, I get it. Makes sense. I don't so Facebook but Mary does, and we joked about people sharing pictures of their fabulous meals, so once I got her to post a pic of a Wendy's chili like it was our big night out. I wish we had posted a pic of a hamburger I had for lunch in Paris, while pretending like it's fine dining.

On another note, many of our friends just want to unwind and relax on vacation, and the idea of going overseas (or almost anywhere other than day's drive to a beach) seems like an expensive, stressful hassle. I understand that. Plus, if you have kids it can get really expensive.

Posted by
464 posts

People who seem to enjoy hearing about our trips are those who have already been to the location that we are going to, because then they can share their experiences of what they enjoyed there, or people who would like to go to the place that we are traveling to because they like to learn from us and get tips on what to do. On the other hand I enjoy hearing about my friends' trips no matter where they have been because I get ideas of new places to explore and learn fresh ideas of travel.

Posted by
6813 posts

On another note my wife used to post vacation pics to Facebook or whatever, but she stopped doing that. I think she thought it looked a little like showing off

I though the whole point of Facebook was to show off and make others envious. Isn't it?

Posted by
4625 posts

It never even occurred to me that posting my vacation photos on Facebook could be considered showing off. It seems to me that it's petty jealousy if people think I am and it's doubtful that they're one of my 3 Facebook friends anyway.

Posted by
4625 posts

I will lean into the label oddball as I think it attests to the
intensity that I am applying to the thing that I am doing rather than
the thing itself.

I like that statement. My daughter leaves for Costa Rica tomorrow. She's 23 and it's her first international trip without a parent. She's going with her boyfriend and another couple and it's clear she's got my genes. They're going to an all-inclusive but she is like me and needs to keep moving and the other three are a bit concerned with the itinerary.

Posted by
8179 posts

England. I talk about this trip to friends and family and they're interested but not jumping up down down excited

When they are quiet like that they are haters, just jealous. I have clammed up like that when someone says they are going somewhere out of jealousy.

Also more than once I have been asked:

"how did you get to go there, were you in the military, or something...?"

by American folk that did not know me when I was talking about the places that I had traveled to internationally.

Posted by
1625 posts

A lot of our friends are Surfers/active and are traveling to Surf, so Costa Rica, Mexico, Australia, Hawaii...and I love that about them and will seek them out if we ever want to see those places, others are resort people who go to the same resort in Mexico year after year ( I have no idea what I would do after two days on a trip like that). But these friends share a passion for the research of the trip, the planning, getting just the right lodging, finding the adventures, mixing with the locals, eating the local foods...so we connect on those points.

BUT when they are thinking of doing Europe, guess who they come to...good ole Letizia, and I am happy to share my knowledge or encourage them take public transport (If I can do it they can to), how easy the trains are and the metro's. Light packing and essentials.

Posted by
1625 posts

Most people I run into see Europe as one of those "once in a lifetime" things that must cost 10's of thousands of Dollars, but think nothing of a Caribbean Cruise or an all inclusive resort. They simply do not comprehend that I go to Europe with my wife for nearly a Month (always once a year, sometimes two), and spend less than they do at a 6 Day all-inclusive with their spouse. A few times I was able to use the 20th Anniversary...or 25, 30, 35, or just anniversary excuse if they seemed hung up on the perceived cost.

This!!!! I never want to be perceived as bragging that I go to Europe, or flashy so I always say "We did it on the cheap" and try to explain how you can find cheap flights, use Airbnb for lodging, go to the grocery store (which is like a destination to me) for snacks and meals, just walking around is free and so fun, using public transport etc. It is a perceived cost and one that I also thought until I discovered RS and his travel philosophy, tips and tricks. Maybe they just looked at a tour and had sticker shock when they saw the price, which I also have and once I start looking at booking the same elements on my own I can see the savings.

Posted by
1450 posts

I divorced 10 years ago and my close group of friends are all still married. They enjoy going to Mexico or Cancun and staying at an all-inclusive resort and just drink by the pool. Not my idea of a vacation, especially since the 3 couples all have pools at their homes and do that already. So I don't go on those trips. I travel out of country every other year or sometimes twice a year, they are just used to it and ask me what it is I am doing or seeing. One couple actually asked me to help them plan their Venice & Paris trip in 2019 when I was heading to Switzerland and then Paris myself. They want me to help them with an Italy, France and or Spain Riviera trip in a few years. I had planned a motorcycle trip in Europe for 2023, since all four guys ride, but that fell through. Will try again a few years after. My mother will always try and see if she can join me on my overseas trips, she travels a lot herself. My friends and family know that when I retire in 10 years, I will be heading to Europe and parts unknown for 2 - 3 months. Haven't decided if I will return :).

Posted by
1105 posts

"When they are quiet like that they are haters, just jealous."

wow, no pedestal standing there.

Agreed. That whole post is a but ragged. I was wondering if anyone else noticed.

Posted by
1321 posts

My sister once told me that if I moved to Europe she would never see me again. When I tried to get her to join us for my 60th bday trip biking in Italy she had a lame excuse about some colleagues kids wedding. When I got back from Europe this June all she asked was how were the flights home. I have a client that always ask if "name that place..... is safe". I also know people who have never driven across the Columbia river from Portland. I'm guessing fear of the unknown or lack of curiosity keeps most people from travel.

Posted by
1593 posts

Sure, always have been, always will be. Oddballs, both my husband and me. Not only in how we travel, but in just about all parts of our lives, so we are used to other people not sharing our interests or style. For travel, we are lucky to have each other, our sons and their SOs, my best friend, and our next-door neighbors --- all of these people like seeing our photos, hearing about our adventures, and eating what my husband has learned to cook during our latest trip. The only travel passion that I have to pretty much keep to myself is my interest in late medieval/early Renaissance art, but I can judiciously share even this with my husband and my best friend. Oh, also WWII --- no one among my friends and family is interested in that.

Posted by
4625 posts

I'm guessing fear of the unknown or lack of curiosity keeps most
people from travel.

My Mom and her twin sister are in both of those groups, but thankfully they began to travel together after both husbands died more than 30 years ago. Together they were able to muster the bravery of one and that was enough to book bus tours across North America and Europe.

They were never curious either, just the other day my mom brought up her trip to Rome in the early 90's and how glad she was to have been encouraged to go because left on her own, it would never have occurred to her that it might be interesting. She brought it up because of all the planning and research my wife and I do. Once again she said it would never have occurred to her to plan and research.

Posted by
3135 posts

I guess I just don't understand not being curious about seeing new places in person. I'm not being condescending, but truly inquisitive.

As I child, our family spent a week per year at Myrtle Beach. It was magical. Today? Boring. Kitcshy, cheap, phony, tacky, and white trash. It doesn't wear well

Posted by
1321 posts

I guess I just don't understand not being curious about seeing new places in person. I'm not being condescending, but truly inquisitive.

You have never met a person who isn't curious - well I can attest they are out there.