advice on long term travel with spouse

I definitely think you should plan time to be apart and do your own thing, when you are somewhere that interests you, and perhaps doesn't interest the other person -- 1-2 hours may not be enough some days.

Rent 2 cars? Seriously, though, even when my wife and I travel for a couple of weeks, we give ourselves at least an entire day/week to go off on our own and do our own thing. No matter how many shared interests you have as a couple (and I hope they are many), you still have interests that will bore your spouse to tears. Use a complete day block to look after those. It means more fun for you, more fun for your spouse....and more fun when you ARE together.

Liza, I understand your predicament entirely, and there have been studies on this issue. It also applies to travelling with a close friend. I suggest that a whole day apart quite often. Probably you each have diffent areas of interest anyway. Then in the evening, take a long walk together and discuss the events and highlights of that day. best wishes.

Liza, I hear you on strangling our spouse! LOL.

When we travel, we each have our own cell phones. We start off the day together, and mid day break apart so we can do our own thing. We have a meeting time and place (ie: 8:00 for dinner, etc.) and if we are running late, or getting bored early, we call each other.

If you have friends you can look up, that's one way to break the monotony. Even if you do stay together, friends have a way to liven up the trip.

Enjoy, relax, and remember that you are on a vacation!

Find a week when you can split up, flip for the car, and the other person can be dropped off at the train station. Plan to meet in a different location in a weeks time, and each find their own way there, arrange for their own lodging, meals etc... Try to do it with as few reservations as possible, just go and play it by ear. For more fun don't take your cell phones. Each of you can plan your each mini vacation.

Hah Hah, I travelled for 11 years by myself, what a change it was to actually travel with my husband. I say 3 months by yourself and 1 week with the hubby. Ok just kidding.

You might check out www.ayearineurope.com - a married couple quit their jobs and spent a year traveling around Europe. They've also done some podcasts on their travels, and were interviewed on the Amateur Traveler podcast show. Their experience may provide some helpful insights...

GPS. My husband and I don't fight very often, but the most we have ever fought was when we were lost in new places...especially on long road trips. I just have GPS on my phone here, but once I started using it, we pretty much stopped fighting over directions. A coworker of mine (the nicest, calmest guy ever!) said he and his wife had the same marital benefit with GPS.

My feedback is a little different but very important if it applies. Years ago on our first Europe trip I did not know what I was doing but with the help of a travel agent got the most important parts figured out and thought we would wing part of it when we got there. My husband did not participate in any of the trip planning.
After a couple of days we started arguing because he thought I was going to be his 24/7 tour guide and I thought he was going to be my equal travel partner and share the responsibility of reviewing the book, brochures, travel connections, etc. so he was disappointed that I expected it.
If you and hubby are both involved in the planning process, you may have it worked out. If not, now is the time to discuss sharing travel tasks so you both can enjoy the vacation. My hubby and I have a system now. I do all of the most important travel work up front - he then reads the info on the plane, train, & hotel once we are there and gives me his input daily.

Take a really good paperback that you can read aloud. My husband and I have traveled by car quite a bit in the US and have really enjoyed the reading. We have also enjoyed listening to books on CD but that might require too much space. We have occasionally listened to finance books and had plenty to discuss.

Books on CD are bulky but you may want to download a couple of books on an ipod. I check out books on CD from the library and download them on my ipod to listen to on vacation. I really enjoy reading (or ipod book listening) after a long day of sightseeing or when I just need some down time. The ipod takes up alot less room than books and you can also load Rick's podcasts on them too.
If you both would like to listen to the same book on the same ipod you can buy an inexpensive Y-jack (a few bucks) and connect two earphones to it. Of course, you would not want to do this while driving unless you can figure out how to hook up the ipod to the car radio speakers (your car company may be able to tell you if there are options to do that).

Great advice everyone! I really appreciate the great ideas and the quick responses.

This is a good question and so smart of you to consider ahead of time. My husband and I love each other and have very similar interests, but we are used to behaving quite independantly in our day to day lives, so the 24/7 travelling thing requires a game plan.

Yes, the time apart for an hour or two is a good idea. We will sometimes just return to our hotel in the evening and declare it alone time and each of us will do our own thing, reading or whatever, as if we were apart. A sense of humor goes a long way, too. My husband and I have some inside jokes about Rick Steves (because we are always using his books) so we made some silly cards with his face on them that have a message for us from Rick to not be crabby. The idea is we would each bust out the card if we felt the other was being crabby. Last winter we heard that Rick wad doing a book signing in our town, so we went and he signed our cards (and wrote about us on his blog in most unflattering descriptions!)

Well I would go nutters being with my hubby all day long , day in and out, so 30 minutes would not cut it at all.
I think alot depends on how much time you are used to spending apart at home,
If you are a joined at the hip couple at home , then being together all the time on vacation is not a huge issue, I personally cannot stand to be with anyone , kids, hubby or friends all day long.

I think the best advice is the split up for a day or at least an afternoon every other day or so, perhaps less often in beginning of trip, and more often towards end, LOL

Hubby & I LOVE to travel together; in 30 years have it down well. DO plan the trip together - we have drawn up lists of what each of us wants to see - common sites we'll see together, separate for the others.
The trip we're planning now is our first together to Europe, and the last. He has Parkinson's - we're going while he can still manage it. His job at one time required him to be in Naples 4 months - he knows all the places to go, things to see & do, where to eat. (In Sorrento, go to Davide's). HE gets to drive in Italy...
I soloed to the Isle of Wight, Sussex, London, plus a FAST trip to Normany & Paris. He's looking forward to repeating my Battlebus D-day tour. I get to drive in the UK, again; will ask for the smallest car with automatic transmission. It will be FAR less stressful this time; hubby was a driving instructor in LA, and is a GREAT copilot and navigator. We'll have fun!