Overwhelmed

Stacey, I sometimes also feel overwhelmed, and find that taking a break for a few days or even a week tends to bring the excitement back. It might help to prioritize the "must do" tasks and wait to get some of the minor items done. The "bottom line" is that it WILL all be worth it! Happy travels!

I've had the very same feelings before. As Ken said, it's good to do the "must haves" and then wait for a bit on other things. I am a person who very much over plans and then worries it won't be a good trip, but so far it has always worked out.

It's perfectly fine to take a break from planning... but not from saving. That sounds like a bit of sabotage. Everything else can be dealt with and nothing is catastrophic. What in particular are you feeling overwhelmed by?

What you really have to book so much ahead are your plane tickets and few nights at your first destination. Most of the time it's not necessary to book trains so much ahead. Some trains give you a substantial discount for booking ahead but of course then you are less flexible. It is easier to take care of certain things when you are there than from here.

My trips are usually on the short side, anywhere from 9-17 days....so I guess planning exhaustion isn't easy to come by. Planning is my favorite part. I do 1 city at a time. I create a journal/my own guide book that I scrap book my plans into. That way, when i arrive, I am not carrying around a guidebook in the airport figuring out how I get into the city. I have all my details on how to get to my accommodation. I have the sights of what I want to see. It is time consuming but worth it to be in the know when you get there. Less vulnerability equals less mistakes being made. I am not saying make your own guide book, I know, you are a bit overwhelmed, but planning is essential, in my opinion. Is your trip on the longer side? If so, anyway you can shorten it? Who are you going with? Can you delegate some of the responsibility to a person traveling with you?

Our trip is 45 days and I'm traveling with my husband and 4 kids. My husband is only with us for the first 14 days. Cities and museums are all starting to run together in my mind. The kids are ungrateful. Wishing we were going to Thailand or a Disney Cruise instead. My husband has no interest in helping plan. Most days I wish I was going alone for a year around the world. Kelly I like your journal idea. I think it will help a lot. Do you cut and paste or bind your own printed journal? I actually think this is exactly what I needed. It will give me a project and help organize all the information for each city so that it won't all run together. Thank you!

I tend not to plan too much, except necessities, but with all those people it does take some organization. I also do journal of sorts, as there are times I am taking my 4 grandsons on a trip together. They also don't always show a ton of enthusiasm before we go, but last trip to New York City I made each of them look up something specific and give a report on it (ages 9-16) One did Ellis Island and his Italian heritage, one did the oldest painting at the Met, another Statue of Liberty, and one did the first art gallery in Soho... we incorporated all of this into our trip, and it made it a bit more exciting. It is really hard to plan for a bunch of people and have them even realize how much work goes into it....(and yes, sometimes it is great to go alone ) I would just leave a great deal unplanned and go with the flow...you don't want to have to be a tour guide for your family if they are uninterested, but I am sure they will have a great time once there if given the freedom to choose what to do. How about assigning each one a day or two to plan for the family?

Happens to me every trip...well, I don't stop saving, but I do stop planning...I'll start almost a year ahead researching and driving my husband crazy for a few months with everything, then I stop til about 3 mos before and kick into high gear again...I think most would tell you to book the train as much ahead as allowed for huge savings if you want to be (or can be) locked into a certain day or time. Accom can be a little more flexible...I am one of those ones who likes to have everything booked, but last year I didn't book Bath until the day before...which worked out well as we decided to spend an extra night with my sister, and while I was waiting to book our Bath stay (thru airbnb) I got a $25 voucher for filling out a survey and used that towards our stay...sometimes procrastination works out...but even a week before you go, you should be ok to book accom (or if you are going to have access to internet via laptop or whatev...you can do it while on the go...), unless you have a certain accom that you want to stay at...

Stacey, is "Northern California" anywhere near Sacramento or are you farther north? If you're anywhere near Sacramento, there's a fantastic Group that meets the third Saturday of each month. They will definitely rev up your enthusiasm and help with suggestions for your trip if you'd like. (See "Andrea, Sacramento" or Eileen, Texan in CA"!)
I also use a journal for planning where I tab sections of it with planes, trains, hotels, sites, budgets and "things to do". ("Things to do" is where I note the reservations that I need to arrange closer to the trip, for ex: it's too early to buy the online tickets for the Eiffel Tower.) It's no wonder you haven't planned for a month, a month ago it was the holiday season. There was way too much chaos going on to think about a trip!

Stacey Try a 3 ring binder with plastic sleeves. You can slide everything you need into the sleeves in order for the trip, including directions, attractions, hotels/apartments and you can move things around freely or pull things out to have them handy. My experience with trip planning and teens is that it has to get a LOT closer to the trip for them to get engaged. To them, June is a world away; maybe they'll start thinking about it in May. My teens didn't get very engaged until just before our last trip, but then they had a great time and did some research and picked out things they wanted to see. If you set up the "bones" of the trip and leave some flexibility for activities, I bet they'll join in and help decide things. But this far out, you're probably on your own.

Hi Stacey, I was wondering what was up with you since you hadn't posted in a while. I understand your planning burnout, but you have to get past that. Especially about the savings portion. Your budget was going to be a bit tight as it was, and now you'll have even less money. If you don't get the cheapest train tickets you will be in worse shape. You already know where you're going and when, so no reason not to get the train tickets as soon as they are available. Once you have your train tickets and lodging taken care of, take a break. You don't have to have every day planned to the minute. Get the kids involved in choosing what to do. I know your kids really want to go to London, but it is more expensive there than your other destinations. You may need to change your plans and use that time for somewhere less expensive. That might not make them happy, but as everyone who travels knows you don't always get to go everywhere you want. The kids seem ungrateful now, but this will be such a good experience for them and they will have a blast.

hi stacey - i hear you on the taking a break thing. it can be so overwhelming and i have shut down myself. i may actually be shut down right now as i am sitting here playing facebook games and refusing to open the spreadsheet of things i HAVE to book now. i dont really have any advice. i just wanted you to know you arent alone. i have SO much stuff to plan and i need to get going because i leave in april.

Oh I love the Sacramento group! They are the best ever! I just haven't been thinking about the trip at all to even go to the meetings. I like the tabs idea, in a three ring binder, with sheet protectors. Then I can pull out what I need to bring with me and have it spiral bound with a cover. I made spreadsheets in numbers and was trying to do everything electronically. Then I would just bring my iPad. But I hate reading ebooks and I think I need an actual physical journal to flip through. What great ideas!

Stacey, I ran into the same problem you did when I was palnning our family trip in 2009. I ended up breaking the trip down into segments and that seemed to help make things a little clearer. Also try to get the kids involved. Look at the posibility of them each planning an afternoon event(if they are old enough).

also on the topic of a journal - i really like the idea of having one. i usually have an envelope per destination. inside is the hotel confirmation with explicit directions on how im getting there on the back. i also have train tickets and maps and whatever. i usually retype specific things i want from guidebooks so i have everything on one page, with a map on the back. i really like the idea of making a book though! then i could keep blank pages for a diary and so on. this idea is really exciting me.

Stacey, I plan trips for about 90 days per trip and I do get overwhelmed and exhausted, even though I've been doing this on and off for over 30 years! One thing that helps is thinking, "what city is calling to me today?" and then picking up the planning there. I usually start with oversize index cards for hotel, train/bus, and sightseeing info (including prices), one card for each city, whether it's a daytrip or a stop with a hotel. (The sleeve-protector idea sounds like the equivalent, with more options.) What I take with me is a smallish notebook with a couple of pockets where I can keep receipts for places I really love (hotels and restaurants) and want to pass on to friends. Another trick is to go on the internet and look at photos of a particular city on my list - looking at streets, landscapes, etc., helps me imagine myself there.

Stacey: I do so much planning that I know the streets where I'm going before I've ever been there. I always make lists on index cards of places I want to visit, resturants I want to go to, etc. And I seldom hit 1/4 of my list. Don't worry about train tickets. Seldom is any train sold out except during the Christmas holidays. I have a tendency to run by the train station a day or two before my departure and buy tickets during off peak hours for my next stop. If you take a laptop or notebook running WIFI, you can easily make hotel or B&B reservations a day or two ahead as you go from place to place. I've been known to sit in a hotel lobby online searching for budget or affordable hotel rooms. You're 5 months out. Don't get too uptight about your trip. It always comes together. I really prefer to just wing it on a tripdepending on what place I like, and what people I run into on the road.

David, Your advice isn't bad for someone traveling solo or as a couple off season. Stacey is traveling during the summer with her 4 children and is on a tight budget. It will cost her a lot more money to buy last minute train tickets and it could be very difficult, if not impossible, to find inexpensive accommodations for 5 people at the last minute.

This may be post-holiday blues rather than trip jitters. But you have planned an ambitious trip, a month and a half with lots of countries and four kids, mostlyon your own without help from you husband. It is not surprising that the two teen seem ungrateful. At their age they may think they would rather hang out with their friends than go tomEurope with mom. But don't worry, they will have a great time once you get there. You have already done 95% of the planning. You can take another month before starting up again, to find that last hotel. Are you still going London to Paris? Eurostar tickets are on sale thru May24 now, meaning you have a month before you can buy yours. Some of the advice above is good and some is not. You do not need to plan details like where to eat. That will be apparent when you get there. In other words, do not overplan. But what you might want to do to ease back into the planning is make a checklist of the essentials with dates for completion. Like does everyone have a passport? Do you have your International Drivers permit? Also, you probably should have a motorized letter from your husband, giving you permission to travel with the kids abroad, for the part of the trip when you are on your own. sounds weird I know, but Sometimes immigration officials will want to see that. Now take a deep breath and relax. You have lots of time.

I am working on my daily journal pages now. I really liked the journal idea. It has me working on this again. :) Looks like this July 1 City: Morning: Breakfast- $ Little Table for activities Noon: Lunch- $ Little Table for activities Night: Dinner- $
Little Table for activities

I think you may want to ook ahead for lodging but leave restaurants as a
Ore spontaneous decision. Love the idea of having the kids select some options for sights or activities - even little kids can feel empowered by choosing an hour at the park. Remember to breathe and check in here for moral support.

Do you cut and paste or bind your own printed journal? Well sort of....I get a journal from Barnes and Noble. Peter Pauper Press (or something like that). It is the smaller one....5X7 inches. I type, in smaller font, my dates and destination starting with day 0. Then I go city by city. Where am I coming in from (airport, train station, bus station), how do I get to hotel (walk, bus, tram, cab), info about my hotel (confirmation, room details, photos of the room & hotel), map of the city, worthy sites in the city and their times of opening and cost, my itinerary for that city, potential good walks, restaurant ideas (I am a vegetarian so it is good to be in the know of where to go), how to get out of the city and off to the next destination knowing the mode of transportation and an idea of various times on the schedule.....then I do for the next city. I think it takes a certain type of personality to do this but I am always prepared for my day. For hotel confirmations, I reduce the size for printing to fit in my bound journal; or I chose the index card printing option. It is all sort of neat. I paste small pictures of the city and various sites, scrap book-like. At the end, I leave ample room to write in the adventures of my day. My husband likes it more than reading an actual guidebook itself. It is a bit nerdy but I keep them on my book shelf and reference them when some one asks on this forum about restaurant advice, sight advice, etc. I keep it with my in my day bag as it is small enough. It works for me but it may be "work" for others to create their own personal guidebook.

Travelling is all about choosing. There is too much in Europe than any person, even one living in Europe like me, could ever conceive seeing or experiencing on a lifetime. The "secret" to avoid trip planning overwhelming, for me, is to be happy with the exciting/fun/interesting things I've picked, and not to worry a bit about what I left out of a specific trip in the sense of being "missing" something. For each place, hotel, itinerary we choose for our trips there are plenty of others we could have taken. I'm not very happy to make choices I need to, and don't look back to that thought of "am I missing some other great city that is better than the place I chose?"

My family uses the concept of "days to choose" and when it is your day you choose the activities and meals. I think I first heard of this in Cynthia Harriman's book Take Your Kids to Europe. We spread the days out according to interests (on our upcoming trip one son has no days in Amsterdam but two in Normandy) but try to ensure they're divided more or less evenly. Everyone has to buy in - no grousing if you don't like what's on the menu. It helps to know that you'll get your favorites when it's your day to be in charge. You do have to be somewhat "group-minded" in your choices, which in our family means no bungee jumping. We allow a limited amount of "lobbying" if the Planner is undecided. It's OK if someone chooses to sleep late and go rowing on a loch or race go karts or tour a dungeon. We held a few family meetings to set out the "bones" of our trip (which towns or cities to visit and how many days in each), my husband and I plan the transportation and accommodations and each person does the activities on their own day. It might help planners to watch a few DVDs of the places you've chosen to visit, although my net-savvy sons are overflowing with ideas after a visit to tripadvisor.com. Hope this helps,
Marty

Stacey, as you can see you are not alone being burned out. It's really hard to stay enthused when the rest of your clan isn't into it. I felt the same way in 2008 planning for our Family Adventure.
I found some great Novels (under the Tuscan Sun, Year in Provence) that got me excited again (and my kids read The Lion Boy-takes place in Venice)without the feeling that I had to take notes and do homework. Remember that as a Mom, every trip is R&R. RELOCATION of RESPONSIBILITIES. I know that you want to do everything and show your kids as much as possible, but the more simple you keep it, the more You will enjoy the vacation. Your kids will have a good time as long as you do. My motto is " If Mom's not happy, nobody's happy" Marty refers to Cynthia Harriman's book Take Your Kids to Europe and I whole heartedly swear by it too. There are tons of great ideas and the "days to choose" idea is a lifesaver. Also give yourself permission to have Do Absolutely Nothing days when you are away. Sometimes just Hanging around where ever you are staying and Feeling like a local rather than a traveller is really enjoyable. Kids love playing cards or board games Everywhere (or colouring if they are younger) and that gives you time to Relaxxxxxxxxx p.s.My kids are 17+18 now and to Celebrate my big 50 I am going to Europe to meet my cousin. ALone, without the kids. Yahoo !!!

We all experience burnout while planning a trip, and it is ok to let it go for awhile. I think it is good to get the most important things reserved early, then let it go until you are ready to pick it up again. You do have a unique situation traveling with a big group and having to work on an extremely tight budget, so it is important to reserve transportation, hotels etc. to make sure to get the best price and availability (especially since you'll probably have to all be in one room). The rest of it you can figure out later. I know my daughter got really tired of hearing about our trip plans and I thought she was ungrateful, too. But, on the actual trip she was happy, thankful and enjoyed every minute. I think she was stressing out hearing me stress out.
Please come to our Sacramento meeting! Even if you have no questions it will reinvigorate and excite you about your trip again. But...keep the savings going, you're going to need it.

Hi Stacey: I can relate to the planning...I am a project manager by trade and planning is my middle name. We are going to France for the first time this summer...I started my planning last summer when I booked the apt. I have also turned one wall of our office into a trip "board" of sorts: each day of the trip is assigned a block. My husband have written all of our "must dos" on yellow post it notes and are putting them into the blocks...blue stickies have closures written on them so we know, for example, not to put the Louvre post-it on a Tuesday block. We are trying to mix busy days with relaxation days and until I put the board up, I was getting everything mixed up. Now we can look at the board and as we plan, if we don't like something or want to move stuff around, it's as easy as removing the post it from one block and reposting it on another. I love Kelly's idea of a journal to take on the actual trip. I want to try and blend into the surroundings and the journal would be so much easier to carry than a guidebook. Terry Kathryn's idea of having each of the kids research something is a good one too as it will help them get excited too....but sometimes you have the most fun with the impromptu portions of the trip so "plan" some time for that as well...I am sure you will all have a great time!