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42 yr old guy travelling alone. Are hostels ok?

Ok, so the economy has been pretty crappy lately. I've traveled Europe pretty extensively in the past with Topdeck, and lately G adventures. During this past trip to Croatia, Albania, and Montenegro, G used some hostels as part of the tour. At first I was nervous, but I found them to be more than adequate for our needs. Mind you I was on a tour with 16 people, so the friendships made were pre-existing, as such the day and nightlife was fun. A recent layoff from work has left me with a continued desire to go overseas again, but to be more frugal with the shekels! As such, no tour. Just me by my lonesome trying to travel more thiftfully. Do I want to be the creepy 42 yr old guy hangin out at a hostel, dreaming of a 21 year old girl? Absolutely not! But I'd love a place that lets me meet people to do both day activities and some nightlife, and not be alone the whole trip. The hostel I stayed at with G adventures in Pag Island Croatia, had it's own bar/nightlife, and was right on the beach, so I technically didn't have to leave. but as mentioned, I was with a tour group, so the friendships were there. I guess the first and most important question is, can I go to these places at my age? But I've seen that answered in other threads where people in their 80's are writing that they stay in hostels. So my question then becomes, "when I stay, will it be the meeting place everyone says it is for both day activities as well as nightlife, or is that more for the 20 somethings?" I guess the bottom line is, I'm looking to have the enjoyable time I've had on my tours, but can't currently afford! Could hostel life be the vacation I'm looking for?
On a side note, if the answer is yes, suggestions would be great. Something with it's own nightlife perhaps in a self sufficient kind of way? Was thinking Bulgaria or Latvia as possibilities since I not been there yet, but I'm more than happy to visit the European countries I've seen all over again.
On a 2nd side note, No I wouldn't turn down the 21 year old before someone makes the joke. It's just not a need for my trip.
Thank you for any advice you can give.

Posted by
15560 posts

Check out hostelworld.com . I know there's another similar website that's been mentioned here a few times. There are reviews and descriptions to give you a better idea of what each hostel is like. My experience is that there are a lot of single older adults who use hostels - people in their 40's to 60's - and families too. Some are undoubtedly very Club-Med party-atmosphere. In many others you will find serious travelers who are interested in meeting people from other countries and cultures, whatever their age.

Posted by
9110 posts

Speaking only of rural hostels, since I haven't stayed in an urban one since I was a kid:

People are there for specific reasons, and the rut is not one of them. Their days are crammed to the hilt. There's not much hanging out.

There's plenty of cross-gender and cross-generation ad hoc mixing, but it's based on shared interests.

Most of us spend the evening reconbobulating for the next day and are too stinking tired for a night of hell raising. Maybe a communal meal in the kitchen or a dash out for supper and a beer, but that's about it.

If you attach yourself to another group's agenda, you'd better have some knowledge, or at least genuine interest in, what they're about or you'll be shunned like you have a social disease for the rest of your stay.

When you decide you'd like to hike with the young hottie, make sure you have the stamina or she'll leave you on the trail for buzzard meat.

The people are great and sharp as hell. They don't suffer fools in party hats.

Posted by
17629 posts

If for some reason you don't feel comfortable with the hostel, then rent an apartment. Same price more or less but then you really are on your own so you will need to look hard at how to meet locals and interact at that level as opposed to being with other tourist ................ or not.

Posted by
14481 posts

Hi,

Are you having doubts as to whether given your age at 42, traveling solo, you should be staying at a hostel? First, I wouldn't have any such hesitations at all. . It so happened that the summer I was 42 I was able to spend a month in Europe, during which, of course, I stayed at a hostel. No more age limit at HI hostels. Some independent private hostels do impose an age restriction from 18-35. Yes, it's also possible where you'll find yourself assigned to a coed dorm room where your roommates are one half your age, literally or roughly. That's only at an independent hostel. The HI hostels' rooms are segregated by gender.

Chances are that a majority of the hostelers are 20 somethings, but as accurately pointed out above, depending on the hostel the others are beyond their thirties. I still stay at certain urban hostels where the roomies have been 1/2 to 1/3 my age in six guest dorm room.

Posted by
1806 posts

Definitely check as many online reviews as you can about the atmosphere at any hostels you might be considering. Hostelworld.com is one site, Hostelz.com another. I spent a year doing an around the world solo trip and stayed at a lot of hostels. While I wasn't as "old" as you are, I also wasn't in my 20s like the majority of my fellow hostelers. Occasionally I ran into a few people in their late 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s, but I would say at most hostels, people who fit that "older" demographic probably comprised about 15 percent of the total number of hostelers - sometimes less. The older hostelers seemed to frequent the HI-affiliated hostels more than the independent hostels but, frankly, I found a lot of the HI hostels staid and dull as people (both young and old) tended to turn in early at night. I would not recommend putting all your eggs in one basket and relying solely on consistently partnering up with other hostelers to fill your days and nights. Group tours are popular for travelers because the participants automatically have something in common. You'll have to work a little harder at finding that connection if you are planning this trip on your own. I also think it's generally a lot easier for a solo female to meet and mingle with other hostelers - regardless of gender or age, but for an older man, it can be a little harder as some people, indeed, might view you as "the creepy 42 year old guy" when all you are looking for is a dinner companion or someone who wants to grab a beer and check out a few fun bars. Are you fluent in any foreign languages? If so, you might want to consider planning a trip to whichever country(ies) also speak that language since you'll have a distinct advantage and you will be able to meet and mingle with the locals at area bars and restaurants. Another option is to sign up for couch surfing. You don't need to sleep on a stranger's sofa if you aren't comfortable with that. A lot of fellow couch surfers are interested in just meeting up with people from other countries or cities to grab a bite to eat or share a drink or a cup of coffee. So that can also be a good source for you to find some people to hang around with during your stay.

On a side note, if you do hope to get with the 21 year old hottie sleeping in the bunk bed across from you, unless you look like Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling, do not use the words "lonesome", "laid off", "thrifty" or "frugal" in conversations with her. Buy her a drink and act like you are an eccentric millionaire who just happens to enjoy sleeping in a 6 share dorm room and cooking ramen noodle soup in a communal kitchen. Good luck!

Posted by
9 posts

Thanks Ceidleh, and too all of you as well. Yours though was perfect for the type of info I was hunting for. Yes, I'll def. keep that type of language to myself; and while I'm not Bradley Cooper, I'm still doing pretty good! lol I'm guessing Latvia and Bulgaria might not be the best since I am an English only kind of guy, and a New York English to boot! I will look into the HI Hostels some of you have mentioned, but dull people who go to sleep early is exactly what I'm hoping to avoid! I'd like to join groups that are looking to explore the city during the day, and then explore the culture of the city at night meeting people. Anyone have any recommendations for hostels in general that might be fun locations?

Posted by
17629 posts

@ceidleh; I did something similar to what you described (the eccentric millionaire routine) while on a trip to Honduras many years ago. Except instead of working another guest i went for the management. They are generally a little older and a little more mature. Worked very well. We have been married 25 years now.

Posted by
389 posts

No one will think you are creepy unless you actually act creepy. That said, if there is a group of 20 year olds in your room that is making plans to go out, it's not terribly likely that you will end up as part of the group. More likely I think would be hooking up with other solo travelers or pairs in the mid-20's range and older. Although the older set doesn't tend to hit the nightlife nearly as hard as the kids.

Posted by
14481 posts

Hi,

Good advice here for you. "...an English only kind of a guy." Then it's time to start working on acquiring a foreign language, you can't lose. If "they" can do that, so can you....a matter of priority and will to get a language down.

Posted by
9110 posts

Hostels might not actually be the best deal for you.

You have to bring something to the table to join the group. Hidden hopeful hormones and a belief that whatever 'nightlife' is as being exploring culture probably won't hack it.

Also, it seems that you're used to bringing your own friends rather than hopping into a mob.

One language? I can't remember being in a hostel where everybody didn't speak at least three or four, including an Asian one. The last British hostel I stayed in, only a Canadian gal and I spoke English as a primary language.

Keep thinking, there might be a better option.

Posted by
17629 posts

You stay in one place for at least a week and keep an option open to extend that. You rent an apartment across the street from a nice wine bar. You ask the waitress her name. You are reserved but friendly and polite. Each night you continue asking her advice where to go where you will be among like people. Worst that could happen is you end up knowing a waitress.

Or

You ask the hotel manager where is a good place nearby to eat. Then you look confused at the directions and offer to buy her dinner if she will navigate .....naa, that's how I ended up married

Posted by
9 posts

Yeah, I think we somehow went from, can a 42 year old travelling alone to a hostel, make friends to do things with, to...can that same 42 year old snag a woman! lol

Posted by
1806 posts

You mentioned you have traveled pretty extensively in Europe, but was wondering if you have ever traveled in New Zealand or Australia? Yes, the airfare can be hefty, but so can airfare to Europe. On the plus side, if you can afford the airfare to get to New Zealand, the exchange rate is then in your favor vs. Europe - Australia's exchange is basically identical to the USD. Some of the best independent hostels I stayed at over the course of that year I traveled were located in New Zealand and Australia. New Zealand, being roughly the size of Colorado, is much easier to travel around to see a lot of the country - you could consider getting a pass on a hop-on/hop-off backpacker's bus (I used Stray in New Zealand - a good number of their passengers were in the late 20s to mid 30s age range). No language barriers and the locals are incredibly friendly. Great nightlife in the bigger cities (Auckland, Wellington, Queenstown, Melbourne, Sydney), some pretty excellent museums (if you are into that) and opportunities for learning about the Maori or Aboriginal culture, incredible scenery and loads of opportunities for participating in adventure sports once you get outside of the cities. As we get into Fall/Winter here in North America and Europe, you'll find Spring/Summer temps in NZ/Australia - great for beaches, hiking, sailing.

If your heart is set on Europe, not sure how active you are, but what about hiking part (or all) of the Camino in Spain? I've been looking into taking a few months to do the whole route. A friend of mine did it and there are a lot of people who start off solo hikers (like she did), but bond pretty quickly with others who are hiking at a similar pace. She met a lot of people from all over the world, but most of the people she hung around with were in their mid 30s to early 50s. Despite the long periods walking during the day, she had an amazing time drinking wine, having dinner and trading stories with people she met along the way. There's a poster on here, Barry from San Diego, and he hiked the entire route so if you can find him in the search box, you could always send him a private message and ask him about what it was like.

Posted by
1806 posts

Congratulations on your 25 years, James! And to give him some hope, I would also like to note for the OP that, yes, it can be possible to get yourself a 20-something hottie. I myself was once a 21 year old hottie and dated someone in their late 30s (he wasn't wealthy, but he was really good looking, smart, funny and had all his hair) - you would not have been successful with me as at that time I felt that late 30s was ok, but 40 was "really, really old!". Maybe you'll have a better success rate with the 25-30 year olds. Ed is correct - you better be able to keep up or she will leave you in the dust (but you're a dude, if you can pull it off and land a young chick who then dumps you, I'm sure you'll get over it pretty quick and have some great memories).

Posted by
252 posts

Yes and no.

It depends on the hostel and you. Since ''getting some'' seems to be on your mind...perhaps you could come across as creepy. Sorry. But it is highly possible.

But I would say that it depends on the type of hostel. E.g. Old Town Hostel in Lagos, Portugal is small, has a party vibe, and average age is very young. Hostel tend to have an older crowd if they are in expensive cities....I could be wrong but it often seems the case. Hostels in Iceland or Denmark had lots of of older guests so you would stand out less there (not saying you are limited to that and other countries do not have hostels with an older crowd ever). You can tell a lot by the hostel description on the websites other have mentioned. If it is a party hostel, they will most likely promote it by advertising pub crawls and other shenanigans. Read the reviews on hostels.com and other sites...very telling! You can also email them and ask I would say.

And, if you are thinking about Latvia and Bulgaria, why not rent an apartment or find a budget hotel? You can find budget hotels for 25-35$ easily there and you would have more freedom. You can bring your ''hottie'' with you I guess.

Posted by
9 posts

Acck!!! Going way off here!! Please understand. I'm not going to look for a "21 yr old hottie"! Living in New York City provides plenty of dating options, so my jokey "P.S." should be just that! A bit of humor! My main goal in staying at a hostel was to meet people to do things with, while at the same time saving a little bit of money compared to the usual 2 week tours I've been doing for the last 10 years. If the hostel can do that for me, I'll gladly keep the pants zipped! Renting an apartment would be fine, and I'll look into it, but after travelling alone for work 50% of the time across the U.S., (I'm probably one of the few guys who actually visited the Bridges of Madison County.) I can def. tell you all, it can be rough doing it alone! It's always nice to share!

Posted by
15560 posts

There've been many threads on traveling solo and connecting with people. Hostels are often easiest, but there are many opportunities for interactions, though mostly with other tourists, unless you're in an English-speaking country.

Many years ago, a friend of mine said she would look around for someone else who was alone and strike up a converstion. It worked for me, but then I found out that couples also like to talk with other people. I've ended up having lunches, dinners, and long conversations with very interesting people over the years. However, it's only in Ireland that I've had really amazing and sometimes unbelievable conversations with the locals. I guess it's the effect of alcohol and blarney stone . . .

Posted by
3580 posts

In the past 15 years I've stayed in hostels 4-5 times. My gray hair has gotten me a room to myself a couple of times; the other guests were much younger, so this made all of us more comfortable. Twice I was housed in the general population of women; we were of mixed ages and got along fine. At the YMCA in Bath, I stayed in a single room and paid the single rate (still inexpensive by Bath standards). Of course, the majority of people who stay at hostels are fairly young. They are still interesting places to stay, meet people, have free breakfast, use the internet, etc. My favorite hostel was the highly recommended one on Lake Como. The hostel is in a small town with shops and restaurants; it is near the ferry that will take you to other towns on the lake. A bus in the town center will take you over into Switzerland if you wish. I met people of all ages and from many countries there.

Posted by
12172 posts

I need gray hair. I'm 55 but realistically look 10-15 years younger. I'm fine at hostels when I travel alone (with multiple people you can do better at a local hotel). I do check reviews and avoid the ones with "dude" and "party" in them in favor of ones that say clean, quiet, friendly staff, etc.

Posted by
51 posts

Out of my hostelling experience it should not be a problem at all. Mixed dorms are perfectly ok. Every female means 1 less snorrer. I experienced only very nice, polite, courteous, helpful behaviour, especially in the mixed dorms. And I have met very interesting people from extremely different walks of life, origins etc. From my 6 weeks solo hostelling trip in Ireland (in 1992) I still remember the people I met. And it was quite easy to find companions for sightseeing during the day and some Guinness in the evening. And if a good looking 21 year old female has the bunk bed above you, so be it. Deal with it, and try not to snore too much. Be friendly and not creepy and things will move nicely (reprocity law at work). As plenty of students use hostels (especially during summer breaks) you will find plenty of people who speak English, if out of luck improvise.

my advice: GO

Posted by
30 posts

I think it's OK!

I’m a 38 yo female. I’m just back from Europe. I stayed at hotels, B&Bs, and 2 hostels. At one hostel (Jazz Hostel in Lake Bled) I had a private room. Great hostel and great town! But out of all the places I stayed my favorite was the Old Kings Hostel in Fussen Germany. I was in a mixed dorm. I met some great people. We had a great time. I even met one of the girls a week later in Salzburg. And I wasn't the oldest person there either.

I’m already planning my next trip. This time I’m planning on staying in all mix dorm room hostels.

Posted by
9 posts

Sounds good Carrie. Thank you for the heads up. I guess I have a lot of investigation to do, to ensure I stay at places that are fun, but not listed as "party central", as well as to ensure I don't try and check into a kids only kind of place. As I continue my trek across the world, and I think about the money I've spent on hotels that were nice, but boring, I'm really thinking that following in all of your suggested footsteps will be beneficial in the long run in terms of fun, as well as savings!