In general, I'm pickier about temperatures than my husband. I think a lot of what we expect is based on how we grew up. Like the guy mentioned up thread, I grew up literally with the kitchen stove at my back when sitting at the kitchen table. My mother served the food directly to our plates from the stove, so the hot stuff was hot when we got it. Rarely was it put in bowls on the table. But the mixed salad that usually was a part of the meal was cold and needs to be for me. My husband's mom was a better cook than mine, but she never had the space to keep the hot stuff hot, so he got very used to foods being tepid. I've had to adjust to that over the past 35 years and not take offense if he doesn't get right to the stove to serve himself when the meal is ready.
When traveling, I'm much less picky, although I have encountered some pasta, especially in the UK, that was way underdone. Was the kitchen staff in a big hurry? Lazy? Who knows? I, of course, cook the pasta we frequently have perfectly. ;-) That has to be true because my husband says so. It takes patience and paying attention, along with some adjustments from sea level where we lived in WA and 3500 feet above where we live now.
As for steak, rare (cool red center) for my husband, medium rare (warm red center) for me. He had to send back one in Florence because it was even too rare for him. I've had tartare once, cold, sort of as a dip at a Lebanese celebration in San Antonio. I was told that the grease helped to coat your stomach so you're less likely to get drunk or to get sick from drinking.
Neither of us is a fan of any kind of raw fish, although in my younger days I did enjoy raw oysters (cold with lots of cold cocktail sauce) and raw clams (cold with something like a tartar sauce). My favorite way to eat shrimp is cooked and chilled, with cocktail sauce. There's a pattern here. His is warm in some kind of pasta dish and especially if the shrimp and it are spicey.
With cheese, I put wrapped snacking ones (Baby Bel, Tillamook cheddar) in my pockets to warm up so that they taste better. In fact, any other kind of cheese that I don't melt on something sits out for awhile before I use it. Similarly, I like to leave sliced fatty cold cuts like Italian Dry Salame out to warm up before using them. So an antipasti plate that's been sitting out for a bit is fine by me. I prefer pasta salad to be cold. Potato salad can be cold or warm, depending on the kind. I knew nothing about hot German potato salad until I lived in Germany.
Claudia asked, "Butter; refrigerated or not…..inquiring minds want to know." Even here in the desert outside of Tucson, we do not refrigerate our butter. We keep our house at 77 degrees in the summer. Using primarily solar gain, it's a bit cooler in the winter. The butter always keeps its shape. We both hate cold butter. I buy unsalted in bulk from Costco and freeze the boxes. When the butter in the dish (not always covered although I prefer using my great grandmother's pressed glass butter dish that is covered) is about half gone, I pull a cube out of the freezer and put it in the fridge. I use that to replace the butter in the dish when it's gone.
One final question for the Brits. What's up with the toast coolers? Are those just a way to serve the toast at the table? ;-)
