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Travel Misadventures in Germany: THE ANGRY VERSION!!!!!!!!!

I took a trip to Germany to see the performer JORIS at 2 concerts as a gift to myself. Multiple companies, people, and beings ruined this trip for me! I want to caution ALL OF YOU from ever doing business with ANY of them!

First, Delta is terrible! My flight from Atlanta to Düsseldorf was delayed because catering destroyed an important control on the plane. INCOMPETENCE! How does an airline hire a caterer who destroys the plane? The captain came out and said it was an accident, but I saw the catering people smiling as they came off the plane. I think it was on purpose!

I heard one passenger call her children to tell them she would be late in the morning. I bet those kids cried. Delta’s incompetence made children cry!!!!!!!

I FINALLY made it to my ultimate destination NO THANKS TO DELTA… Dortmund. That night, I decided to walk 15 minutes from my hotel to the venue for the concert on very dark streets. I got to the venue, and there were no lights on! No people at all! It turns out the concert had been moved. I was in front of a dark building with no people at all around! My very life was in danger!

Love Your Artist, the so-called ticket seller for the event, had changed the venue! It turns out Love Your Artist had sent me an e-mail IN GERMAN telling me the venue had been changed. EVERYONE knows the world’s language is ENGLISH! That they sent me an e-mail in German shows that they DON’T CARE ABOUT THEIR AMERICAN CUSTOMERS knowing when venues change.

I spent 15 euro on a cab to get to the new venue… that was almost half the price of the ticket, and THEY WON’T REIMBURSE ME! Their website says they have “fair tickets & fair merchandise.” Well, they treated me UNFAIR! Because of their lack of concern for me and other Americans like me, along with their unwillingness to be fair, I will NEVER do business with Love Your Artist again.

Also… when I finally got to the new venue, I had missed the opening act, and I had to go to the balcony and stand in the back! I heard JORIS but did not see him at all on stage! He did come up the stairs to the balcony during the show to sing a song from the balcony.

When he went back down the stairs, I was standing right beside the stair railing. Some German kids (looked like they were 8 or 10 years old) came running over, pushed me out of the way, and waived at JORIS. He waved, smiled, and winked at them! That should have been my wave, smile, and wink… if not for those bratty German children!

I went back to the hotel after the show. When I got up the next morning, I realized my razor was gone! Probably stolen by the hotel staff in a SCAM to get people to buy razors. I had to go downstairs and buy a REALLY CRAPPY razor for the RIDICULOUS price of 2 euro. When I used it, just like I normally use my razor, it took a big hunk of flesh out of my face! I think the staff put out defective razors on purpose. When I went downstairs for breakfast, they were laughing!

I left the hotel, went to the train station, and caught a train to Bremen and saw JORIS the next night there. I planned to relax the next day in Bremen, but I woke up with a migraine headache. There’s only one place to put blame for this… God. God Himself ruined my free day! And THEN I got a text from DELTA saying my flight home was cancelled! How do you cancel a flight a day ahead of time?

What a miserable vacation.

To sum up…

Delta… INCOMPETENT!!! And ruined my vacation!!!

Love Your Artist…. BIASED AGAINST AMERICANS!!! And ruined my vacation!!!

German children… PUSHY LITTLE BRATS! And ruined my vacation!!!

Hampton Inn in Germany… EMPLOYEES GIVE YOU DEFECTIVE, INJURING PRODUCTS!!! And ruined my vacation!!!

God…. SMITES YOU!!! And ruined my vacation!!!

Heed my warnings! Don’t EVER do business with any of these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by
6882 posts

That totally made my day...thanks for the laughs!
(Sadly there are posts on this forum just like this one, except they're dead serious and you can practically feel the smoke coming out of their ears like a bad cartoon).

Posted by
5771 posts

Just count your blessings since you didn't get caught driving through a ZTL zone (although you should watch your mail for the next year - the bill could still be coming). And at least nobody pumped sleeping gas into your villa so they could rob you while you were unconscious!

Posted by
2057 posts

I knew I was going to enjoy reading this post; everything I was hoping for and then some. Thanks for posting.

Posted by
5771 posts

JORIS?????????

The guy with the skin disorder in Game Of Thrones?

Posted by
13227 posts

Must be a parody of self-important people who post about their ruined vacations. Thanks for the laughs.

Posted by
3261 posts

Hilarious! I'm pretty sure you can't avoid doing business with God no matter how much you try.

Posted by
8434 posts

Brilliant Dave! ... and Seattle David!

Posted by
4622 posts

Laughing at your “one hit wonder”, Dave! Just wished you had added a blurb about the smooth process through airport security - ha!

Posted by
234 posts

Spot on, Dave. Very, very funny.

Posted by
1041 posts

So funny. Sitting alone on my sofa laughing my head off. Just FYI, if I fall off the sofa due to laughing, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Posted by
527 posts

I LOVE TRIP REPORTS! Especially this one!! Thanks, Dave!!

Posted by
5697 posts

Brilliant, Dave!! Never heard anybody nail God for ruining a vacation (at least not in a trip report)

Posted by
13026 posts

Fantastic ! E-mail in German...that's why you carry a dictionary as in yesteryear.

"My very life was in danger." To that I'll say, "Na, und?"

Posted by
7719 posts

hahahahahahaha, excellent, Dave!!!

I really am sorry you had a migraine though. That is a killer.

And for the pound of flesh you lost to the temporary razor!!haha

Posted by
8889 posts

Definately the post of the day, just too close to reality.

Posted by
8515 posts

What a positive, uplifting review.;—))

Posted by
2492 posts

You missed one Dave--you didn't get a ticket for RUNNING too fast out of a darkened ZTL zone.

Posted by
2349 posts

Reminds me of my trip to Nice, and walking up hill for miles and miles, only to find that the Matisse museum was closed that week! I'll never be able to look at a Matisse painting again without suffering! Oh the horror!

Posted by
6818 posts

Dave, you obviously weren't tipping enough.

Posted by
2157 posts

Hilarious! As I was reading, I kept thinking is this for real? Glad to hear it's a joke. Loved it.

Posted by
3191 posts

Loved it! Now waiting for the next version. Just curious too about Delta cancelling your home bound flight a day before departure. How did they wiggle out of that one?

Posted by
2330 posts

I needed a chuckle this morning, but all the while I was thinking "This doesn't sound like Dave from Spartanburg, he's always so reasonable and full of helpful advice."

Posted by
1165 posts

If I choke on my breakfast while laughing my head off, do I blame God or Dave for ruining my morning?!?
This was hilarious and makes my day!!!

Posted by
13731 posts

Wet my knickers.
Dave's nonsense RUINED MY UPHOLSTERY. I'll bet he snickered about that, too.

Posted by
3083 posts

Well, it looks like the trolls have really come out. I'm SHOCKED by the number of self-righteous people laughing at my tragedies. I thought this scammed innocent traveler would find a sympathetic ear here, but not so. I've apparently found a lot of shills... shills for terrible airline companies, crooked ticket companies, and German children! I feel traumatized all over again! I bet you would like me to write something like this. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! And I will NEVER be back to this forum!!! AND I'm going to tell everyone I know and everyone on social media not to come to here, too!

Posted by
1815 posts

I'm SHOCKED by the number of self-righteous people laughing at my tragedies.

I have shamefacedly to confess that I also belong to this group.
BTW, did you actually miss the fact that the place name of Dortmund at the station was not translated into English? I hope you have complained to the mayor about that blatant example of xenophobia.

Posted by
13026 posts

It looks as though anything and everything negatively possible happened on the trip. You were not spared anything. A historical German quotation is fitting here: "Mir blieb nichts erspart."

Posted by
13026 posts

"...laughing at my tragedies." Good ...have the melt-down!

Posted by
5697 posts

And your SHOCKED response was the schlag on the strudel ...
:-) Great work, Dave!

Posted by
8434 posts

You are sooo brilliantly witty Dave... 😂

Posted by
13026 posts

One negative event after another, the song by Peggy Lee (1969) is fitting, to say the least..."Is That All There Is?"

Posted by
896 posts

Well done. The only part where my suspension of disbelief was broken was when you spelt “Düsseldorf” with an umlaut. Someone furiously writing in a rage on an American English keyboard layout won’t have the presence of mind to use the proper letters. Some general misspellings of the English words would have helped too ;)

DJ

Posted by
6818 posts

And see, the Angry version is much more popular.

Posted by
3261 posts

The followup post was even better than the original!

Posted by
503 posts

This was so fun to read! But, on a serious side, it just goes to show you how different the same situation can be seen by two different people, one with a good attitude and one with a bad.