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Stumbling upon experiences

In our first UK trip in recent history (two trips in late teen/early 20’s), some of the fondest memories I have are of the unknown and unexpected. It’s got me thinking about my current (over?) planning.

The trip was 19 days, York to Glasgow to Cotswolds with 2 free days at the end. I planned the trip entirely on my own (meaning no forums to bounce ideas off of because I hadn’t discovered the forums). The plan for the Cotswolds, however, was to allow Cotswolds Walks to plan it for me. It was an eight day Best of the Cotswolds walking tour with lodging booked for us, luggage transfer, maps and walking instructions. I read through all the materials fairly carefully. They included some ideas for dinners, some suggestions of things to see along the way. But once we arrived in Moreton-in-Marsh and got some laundry done, we were totally caught up in the walking and the experience and did not go back and look at suggestions.

There was probably a mention of Hailes Abbey on the way from Winchcombe to Stanton but if so I didn’t remember it. We were focused on walking and it was a lot more walking than I had understood. We were focused on whatever amazing scene popped up before our eyes. A sign directing us to Hailes Abbey popped up and we decided to take a look. Had you suggested that I take a detour (extra steps!!) to see a ruined abbey, I might have passed. We had a lovely experience. It was unlike anything else we had seen so far. A friendly, knowledgeable visitor centre staff gave us a free booklet because he had been to our state recently. We were the only visitors there and we wandered among the stone ruins, imagining what each space was and what activities would have taken place in that area when it was a functioning abbey and thinking about the forces that came into play when it was destroyed.

The two free days at the end were delightful as well. We had not planned anything between finishing the Cotswolds walk on a Friday and flying out on a Monday. We randomly decided to take a train from MiM to Cheltingham (my husband later told me he had an inclination to just stay on the train and keep going and that’s kind of what we did). When we got to Cheltenham, we were less than enthralled. It was one of the wettest days we had had yet and there was some mix up at the hotel that took some sorting. We ended up going to the movies and eating at the hotel.

In the evening we looked at maps and train routes and decided to take a day trip to Cardiff the next day. We knew nothing about Cardiff. When we got there, we did a combination of phone research and “stumbling upon”. What an awesome day of discovery we had, museums, churches, alleys, pubs. We finished the day in the Cardiff Market, bought food for the train ride back to Cheltingham and arrived at our hotel thoroughly content and pleased with ourselves.

The next day, I wanted to head for Cornwall but it seemed like too much travel since we would be taking the train to Heathrow Premier Inn that evening and had our luggage with us. We decided to go to Torquay. In Exeter, we got on the wrong train. We were headed down the eastern coast and decided to get off in Dawlish because someone we knew had mentioned it. We trudged along from the station, wondering what to do with our luggage. We saw a B&B and were gutsy enough to go in and ask about leaving luggage. The proprietor told us it was fine to leave it with her. We offered to pay her but she declined. Then she told us she “would be locking up before we were back, so here’s a key”. We were stunned and very appreciative. We had a lovely, unburdened day in an English seaside town, walking along the Dawlish Water where families and ducks were playing. The weather was quite nice until late afternoon when it began to rain and we decided it was time to go pick up our luggage and get our train to Heathrow.

I’m going to try to build some more “stumbling upon” time into our upcoming trip.

Posted by
9803 posts

To be able to afford to travel is a blessing.

Over the decades memorable “stumbling upon” moments:

The Gap of Dunloe
Being only person besides the security guard in the room to view the Last Supper
Same with the NightWatch
How small La Giocanda is ( the Mona Lisa)
Being one of 15 people in the room to view David.
Walking into the Long Room in the Trinity College Library and have my friend ( an avid reader ) whisper to me “ bury me here.”
Seeing British soldiers and barbed wire barricades in Belfast during The Troubles.
Halies Abbey
Giants Causeway in the late 80’s
The Gunga Din placque in the Alabama Foothills near Lone Pine in California
The Jim Henson bench in the Hampstead Heath
Actor Burt Lancaster’s tiny burial marker in the Westwood Memorial Park. Same cemetary where Marilyn Monroe, Truman Capote, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon and Eve Arden are buried.
Anza Borrego desert California
Butano State Park Pescadero, CA
Specs in San Francisco
Elmer’s Bottle Tree Ranch, Oro Grande, CA
Wondering what a very large log was doing along a hiway in Florida only to realize it was a huge alligator.
Seeing Mt Everest in my 20’s
Watching the Effiel Tower light up
Discovering a tiny cafe on the roof top of the Central Market in Istanbul where I had the best bowl of soup
How clean the streets of Havana were
The eerie silence of New York in December in 2001 as we visited Ground Zero
Experiencing the 1989 quake at Candlestick Park
Discovering the Rodin Museum in Paris
Taking a fishing boat from Santa Cruz out into the Pacific and discovered I don’t get seasick. Unfortunately the people I was with did. Not pretty.

EDIT: these days I’ll compose a tentative “ must do “ list. The mind set is; walk, explore, experience. If I accomplish a must see, fine. If I don’t, C’est la vie.

Posted by
8743 posts

Hi Katiecem, I used to completely over-plan with idea possibilities, and then we would choose which ones we wanted to do as we were riding the train to the next destination. I love planning, but I hate a rigid itinerary. ; )

I know my change over time is due to being able to travel to Europe a lot. Now, I have a few cities out of several - actually coming up very soon, where I have planned next to nothing. I looked on TripAdvisor to see their church interiors, and said, “Yes, it’s a good one”, and that’s enough for me. The rest of the 1-2 days there will be exactly the stumbling upon experiences. Sometimes it’s some fun outdoor free concerts - Trani & Ostuni, Italy in May. Or an amazing symphony concert with a superb guest violinist - Trani, Italy. Or even just stopping into a TI and asking what’s available for a solo traveler - a recent olive oil farm outside Monopoli.

I like to think that I morphed from my Type A personality and was influenced by my husband’s calm, relaxed personality into how I travel now - enjoying the moment, whatever it ends up being. Our 2-week trip to England & Wales in 2023 was very much just the enjoyment of being together in lovely countries, dropping the FOMO, and mostly letting the stumbled upon experiences be treasures to enjoy.

Posted by
336 posts

Hi Jean

I know my change over time is due to being able to travel to Europe a lot.

This makes a lot of sense to me. I am never going to travel enough to come to that naturally so I will just have to consciously make space for the stumbling upon experiences.