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Now For Something Completely Different - All-inclusive in Mallorca

Yes, you read right. I'd been curious about doing an all-inclusive in Spain for quite some time, as there's a lot of them and they're pretty popular with Germans and Brits. I am normally a very active, very independent traveler so it sounded like a crazy idea, but I also love just relaxing on the beach, so I thought under the right circumstances, maybe I'd find the experience relaxing. So when a friend of mine decided to have her bachelorette party as a getaway weekend at an all-inclusive I figured, "Sure, why not?"

I say this only to say that I went into it with an open mind, and have now pretty much realized that I am not an all-inclusive person but I'll try to be objective as possible in my review.

We were 2 Americans, 1 Brit, and 1 German ages 33-41. We stayed at the Condesa de la Bahia resort on the bay of Alcudia, on the northeast side of the island. The beach is the longest in Mallorca and considered one of the best, which is why we chose this particular resort, although it also was highly rated and the pricing was fair. I paid 272 for 3 nights sharing a room with a partial ocean view with one other person. We shared a private transfer from the Palma airport, which worked out to 40 per person r/t, pretty reasonable for a 45 minute drive, I thought.

We were able to check in upon our arrival around 18:00 on Friday, and were given a welcome drink while that band was snapped onto our wrists. The bride made reservations for the "a la carte" restaurant for dinner at 20:00.

For starters, people who frequent all-inclusives may have different standards (or there's some real stinkers of resorts out there) because the reviews are quite positive but I found the resort a little outdated. The rooms were fine, pretty standard (although large-ish for Europe), nice shower in bathroom, but the doors are frosted glass that don't fully touch at the top or bottom, which didn't provide a ton of privacy. The balcony was nice with a view over some sunbeds and grass, and mostly the beach. There are 3 elevators that are very sensitive and can only handle 4-6 people at a time, and are small. There's also only near the lobby and the hotel is quite large, so it was a long walk back and forth to our rooms.

It's good we were in a good mood on our first night, because service at the restaurant was atrocious. There was one couple that we sat next to that was clearly furious, and we had to repeatedly flag down waitstaff for water, bread, then butter to go with the bread, then more bread because they'd brought 3 rolls for 4 people, etc. We were able to chose from 3 starters and 4 mains, and one of the mains was out. I got duck carpaccio for a starter, and it appeared to be topped with cubes of actual orange Jell-O. Very strange and not very tasty. My friends got pasta as a starter and it simply appeared to be penne with a bland marinara sauce. We all got steak for our main, and it was tasty but poorly cooked.

Things started to get confusing when we asked for a couple of bottles of wine to take up to the bride's suite. She'd booked the fanciest room in the hotel, which has a rooftop terrace with a "hot tub" (a 2 person bathtub, really), sunbeds, loungers, and a beautiful view. The waiter seemed annoyed but gave us the bottles, probably because we were a little loud and giggly by that point and he wanted to not deal with us. We didn't realize, at the time, that it wasn't allowed, which seems ridiculous. Why would you pay for a giant-ass suite with a terrace at an all-inclusive if you can't get beverages up there? We were later told we could just bring individual drinks up to rooms, and of course the glasses are quite small and no one wants to slosh a tiny glass of wine especially considering how far the rooms are from the elevators/stairs. We even asked if we could buy bottles or if there was room service we could pay for and were told they don't do that.

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As for the first evening, we just enjoyed our apparent contraband bottles and took turns squeezing in the "hot tub" and chatting, until the already not-particularly-powerful jets stopped working. We called 3 times about getting that looked at and it never happened. Oh well.

Before bed, I realize that tap water is pretty gross on Mallorca so I run downstairs and ask for a bottle of water for the bedroom. I'm told it's 2 euros. All....inclusive? I said I don't want to pay and they refer me to the water in the buffet restaurant, for which of course only tiny glasses are provided. I struggle with taking 3 tiny glasses back up to my room.

The next day some of us make it down to breakfast, which is a huge buffet of middling quality. Here's where I should pause and point out that at least 90% of the guests were either from the British isles or German-speaking countries. So it was a big but weird version of British and German breakfasts. I don't mind a good Full English from time to time, emphasis on the word good.

Because of the water and wine issues, I pop down tot he nearest Spar, which is actually reasonably priced despite being a block off the beach and full of colorful flotation devices. I get some bottled water and adult beverages, because on the plus side, there is a mini-fridge in the room. We saved the bottles and refilled them from the restaurant for the rest of our stay.

It was cloudy but we decided to hit the beach anyway, since friends of ours happened to be vacationing on the other side of the island and had rented a car and joined us for the day, and they preferred our beach to the ones at their hotel in Cala D'Or. The beaches are public, so despite the hotel being right on the beach, you still have to pay for the loungers, which are owned by the local city government. At 6.50 it's not a bad deal, though, and they come with a little lockbox on the umbrella that you can use to secure your valuables.

The beach was stunning, fine golden sand and beautiful, clear turquoise waters, quite shallow for a long way out, and small waves. Very good for families. Speaking of families, almost everyone at the resort seemed to be either families with children or seniors, and a handful of young couples, but no other girls or guys tripper like us. The pool area is nice, with glass to shield from the wind, lots of loungers, and a cool kids pool area set a bit further back, with an all-day restaurant serving fries, burgers, and chicken nuggets.

Rules seemed nebulously enforced in general. There are signs warning against reserving loungers in the pool area, but that clearly wasn't enforced. Signs also told us not to bring drinks or food out to the beach, and we ignored those without any issue, many times. I had lunch in the a la carte restaurant which is a small buffet at lunch and found it so actively unappealing that I ate mostly salad (on vacation! me!) but saw later that the large buffet restaurant had a much better selection. Whoops.

Since we had our friends with us and we weren't impressed with the a la carte restaurant, I made the executive decision to have dinner in the old town of Alcudia, which was a 10 euro taxi ride taking about 10 minutes. We were then surprised by a friend from London who made the last minute decision to join us, but just for the night. Poor girl had already been delayed 3 hours on her trip, and her return trip was 12 hours delayed due to a lightening strike at Stanstead. She got in at 5:00 am and paid 130 pounds for a taxi. Just a reminder that shit happens when traveling.

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The old town of Alcudia is beautiful. We passed Roman ruins on the ride in, and the town itself still has most of it's fortifications in tact. We had made reservations for 6 in the garden at Restaurant Caller C'an Costa Alcudia, but of course I didn't know we'd be surprised by our London friend, but the server was very accommodating and was able to seat us inside instead. The food and service were incredible. We had a selection of tapas that were all great, and we all split various paellas. The prices were incredibly reasonable for the quality, both of the food and the wine.

Sadly we didn't get to explore much of the town, the bride wanted to party and our waiter told us that due to noise restrictions there aren't really bars in the old town itself. If we'd wanted to party hard, we were supposed to go to the Port of Alcudia, which is where all the beach clubs are, but the realities of age, motherhood, etc got in the way and a few of the girls were really flagging after dinner, so we opted instead to head back towards our hotel, where there's a small (very small) bar area. OK, there's a British-Spanish pub across from an Irish pub. But the staff at the former, Smith's, was very kind. We managed a couple drinks and called it a night.

On Sunday we mostly lounged by the pool and stuffed ourselves at the buffets and annoyed Brits and Germans in equal measure. I found myself starting to fall into the pattern of all-inclusive life, I guess. It was a bit too cloudy and cold for the beach, although the sun did make an appearance later and I got a massage on the beach from one of the very aggressive women who roam the beach looking for victims, not to be confused with the aggressive men selling knock-off handbags and sarongs. I'm just half kidding, the massage itself was actually very good, and 20 for about 40 minutes isn't a bad deal.

For dinner we decided to try a local place off the rather dreary main drag of this part of the bay, El Pato. It was an upscale (but not snooty) restaurant set near a wetland reserve, but only about a 20 minute walk from our hotel. The food and service were amazing again, with the server basically selecting some seafood tapas for us to start and we shared the pasta version of paella, which was good (I'm not the biggest paella fan but that's OK, I just eat my fill of tapas). The bill was 120 including 2 bottles of wine for 4 which was more than reasonable for the quality.

(I swore I wouldn't leave the resort because I'd already "paid for the food" but I'm so glad we left the resort for dinner 2 nights!)

Monday was departure day but our flights weren't until after 17:00, so we hung around the pool and ate too much queso manchego . The bride paid 25 euros to have late check out at 15:00, so we had a place to hang out and change after taking another dip in the sea. We took a different route on the way back and I found myself amazed at just how beautiful Mallorca is - especially once you get away from the beachside hotels! The flight back was uneventful except that I didn't get in until 23:00 because of another long layover in Zurich.

I'll put together some takeaways in a final post!

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Final thoughts:

-I can really see why an all-inclusive, and particularly this resort/area would be great for a family vacation, in terms of value and fun.

-I barely even felt like I was in Spain/Catalonia. These hotels really cater to a specific type of traveler who wants sun but doesn't want to really feel they're in a another country. As an American, who has to travel a lot further than Europeans to experience other cultures, this strikes me as incredibly sad. I know that's a little judgy, but there it is. The hotel had multiple British TV channels, even. And I know the joke about Mallorca being Germany's 17th state, but wow. I was unprepared for the strangeness of this. I'd been to Mallorca before, but we stayed in Palma so it was a radically different experience.

-There may be all-inclusives out there that would satisfy a food snob like me, but it wasn't this one. And regardless I really enjoy going to different restaurants for if for no other reason I probably wouldn't try it again. I'm probably also not the the kind of person who would enjoy a standard cruise for this reason.

-There were some strange rules that were adhered to, for all the ones that weren't. The pool closes at 18:00 (my British friend says this is because people get drunk and drown in the pools when they're open later). The hotel bar closes at 23:30 and you aren't even allowed to hang out poolside after that. That's pretty early, although I do realize it may be for noise reasons at a family resort. We probably would have enjoyed an adults-only resort more.

-I do actually want to return to Mallorca, but if I do I'd probably stay inland or in an old town, and rent a car for my beach time and for exploring. It's seriously a very beautiful place and I'm sure there's a lot to discover there that isn't this scene. I'd happily return to Palma, which I actually prefer to Barcelona for the old town. Soller was a seaside town we visited by train on our first trip that didn't have the built-up feeling of the bay of Alcudia.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Happy travels!

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5540 posts

Glad you enjoyed Mallorca, one of my favourite places. I can understand the reasons for going all inclusive on this occasion but it's not something I would do considering just how much excellent food is available in Mallorca. Saying that I don't think I would do all inclusive anywhere for the same reasons.

I was going to reply before reading your final post and mention Soller and the mountains but now I've seen that you've already been there before.

We own a couple of weeks at the Marriott resort in Llucmajor which is inland but not too far from the coast. It is a fantastic resort and the accommodation consists of two and three bedroomed villas with a kitchen, lounge/diner, private garden and a pool per eight villas along with a main pool, gyn, spa, restaurant etc in the main building. We always hire a car and spend days touring the island, having lunch in the mountains or a day by the sea and I love Palma, easily my favourite Spanish city and head and shoulders above Barcelona in my opinion.

For some reason the island is popular only amongst the British and the Germans and I'm quite happy with that. I've never encountered any American's at the Marriott resort and this is in stark contrast to the other two Marriott resorts on the Costa Del Sol, it just doesn't seem to be on most of their radar, I'm presuming because it's an island and it doesn't have the draw of the big guns, Seville, Granada, Barcelona, Madrid and Cordoba.

We're booked in to going over Christmas and the New Year this year, a time we haven't been before so it'll be interesting to see it in a different season.

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1339 posts

Hi Sarah -

Thanks for confirming my worst suspicions about all inclusive holidays. And thanks for the on the spot research so I don't have to learn the hard way!

Don't get me wrong, I've had some great times in Mallorca but they've either been self catering or trekking in the mountains on the northern coast. I was pleasantly surprised by Palma and we generally avoided the huge binge drinking resorts. Each to his own of course, but the lobster red, shirtless hordes at the airport only donning their England football shirts en route to boarding our plane home confirmed that we'd been to the right places. For us at any rate.

I know that might sounds snobbish but as Julian Fellowes (Downtown Abbey creator) noted in his book 'Snobs', there's nothing wrong in being a snob, it just means you may have a higher set of standards than others!

Thanks again!

Ian

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3050 posts

Thanks for the feedback, JC and Ian! It's good to know there's a lot more to discover in Mallorca that's far removed from that scene. When I went a few years ago to Palma with my mother and grandmother I was really shocked at how it didn't resemble the stereotype Mallorca has in Germany, but aside from the train trip to Soller, we didn't leave Palma. Even as far as the beach went, I just took the bus to the beach in Palma north of the city which was lovely and resort-free, just a few normal hotels above it.

My friends who were staying in Cala D'Or (a German and Filipina couple) complained about the "pocket" beaches and pebbly beaches near there, but I don't mind as long as the water is clear and the scenery is good. I really like the pine tree lined cove beaches of the Greek island of Agistri (my favorite beach vacation spot) and it looks like there's similar places around Cala D'Or. And I'd really like to explore more inland. A lot of the scenery reminded me of parts of California, where I'm from, except a bit less dry. And aside from the resort, all the food I've had in Mallorca has been excellent, the local cuisine is really interesting to me as someone who's more familiar with Castillian food. I'm also curious about Manorca, too. Oh, and I'd love to do some wine tasting, the local house wines at both restaurants we went to were delicious and a great value.

One thing I forgot to mention is also how incredibly scenic the flight back, was. I was able to identify the little beach club my mom and grandma and I had killed a few hours at waiting for our flight after checking out of our hotel in Palma, a cruise ship was steaming past, it really was a nice cap on what was a fun trip despite my lack of enthusiasm for the all-inclusive lifestyle.

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5540 posts

I like the pebbly, quiet enclosed beaches with the crystal clear calm water and surrounded by pine clad cliffs. I much prefer that over a sandy beach stretching for miles with nothing of interest to see. Mallorca does have big stretches of sandy beaches, Es Trenc near Llucmajor is one of the popular ones on the island and gets pretty busy on the weekend.

I haven't been to Menorca but my wife has, she described it as a smaller, quieter version of Mallorca. I've been to Ibiza a number of times in my younger days and whilst it does have the deserved reputation of being a party island there are also parts of it that have a quieter, laid back side. It's interesting to read that there's also a reputation about Mallorca in Germany, I presume it's the same negative one that circulates in the UK in that Mallorca = Magaluf and is nothing more than a trashy island suited only to those who want to get drunk, party till 5 am and pass out after a kebab. Fortunately Magaluf is easily avoided and as long as it's there the rest of the island can be left to those who want to experience it as it should be experienced.

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3050 posts

Oh, does Mallorca have a reputation in Germany. The German Magaluf is Ballermann where it's schlager music, liters of German beer, and just general ridiculousness . I've never been there and have no plans to go, but there were flyers advertising it all over our resort!