As promised, here's is my SUPER AWESOME trip report for London, in bullet-points!
Icelandair: Remarkably cannibalism-free! But a word of advice: should you be flying on the night of a total lunar eclipse, do not make anyone aware of this fact, especially if you're seated in the forward exit row next to the lavatory. Otherwise, your seat will be occupied by people wanting to look out your window and take photos of the thing. A lot of people. Do I -look- like Neil deGrasse Tyson?
Smartest things I brought:
REI Adventure Pants: You too can have an adventure -- in your PANTS! These pants were perfect for travel: easily rolled-up, water and stain resistant, comfortable.
Merrell Grassbow Airs: Like Ferraris for your feet. Light, but with great arch support, these shoes made walking miles seem like just crossing the street. The dangerous, red-light-running, bike-clogged street. Wait, that was Paris.
Pac-Safe Man Purse: Overkill? Maybe. Fashionable? Nuh-uh. Peace of mind? Totally.
My cellphone: Even when I didn't have service, my Galaxy S6 took -excellent- photos that I was wirelessly able to transfer safely to Google Drive. I ended up using it more than my Canon S110 camera.
OYSTERCARD! 30 Pounds was enough for a whole week. Ended up with something like 85 pence on the card at the end.
Dumbest thing I bought:
* Telestial SIM Card. It didn't work in the US. "It'll work once you get to London" I was promised by the paid liars on their support line. It didn't. Turned out to be cheaper to just buy a SIM card in London and put some credit on it. Live and Learn.
Shout-out to:
* The Malt House in Fulham: What a FANTASTIC B&B in a really cool neighborhood and right on the District line. Friendly staff, amazing breakfast, lovely selection of beers, high-quality meals for lunch and dinner. They were absolutely wonderful to us. Four stars, A+++, Would Stay Again, etc. Stay there and love it!
SUPER AWESOME London Moments:
* Exiting the tube at Westminster station on my first day there, walking up the stairs to street level, hearing this resounding "BONG . . . BONG . . . BONG . . .", then turning around to see Big Ben: "Holy ****, I'm in LONDON!"
Imperial War Museum: Viewing the actual orders given to French at the start of World War I and the gravity of looking at one of the most tragic documents in western history.
Westminster Abbey: The staff trying to find my wife's ancestor's grave, only to discover it was underneath an organ. Also, the stone showing where monks who died of the Black Death were buried and realizing exactly how ancient the place is.
The British Museum: The turquoise two-headed serpent that was brought back by Cortez -- THAT Cortez -- right after first contact with the New World. "Oh, America, you're so cute with your 200-year-history! You know that whole time period between 1600 - 1945? Yeah, we OWNED that and about three-quarters of the Earth's surface . . . enjoy the museum."
Riding the Tube: Wait, public transportation that's clean, efficient, well-run, graffiti-free and actually SERVES the public? Mommy, I'm scared! Also, if those double-decker buses were any cuter I'd just have to pinch their metallic cheeks.
Walking around London with nowhere in particular to go: Glorious! Walking along the Thames with no real purpose other than to go for a nice walk? Strolling over the Millennium Bridge? Wandering around Fulham just to see what's there? It's a VACATION, not a sprint! The smartest thing I did was not over-schedule. Yes, there were things I missed, but I resolved to return -- the RICK STEVES WAY!
Well, there's my 3,500 characters worth. Next up: lessons learned and PARIS!