Please sign in to post.

A Widow’s Trip - Southern Spain - February Trip Report

I’ll say upfront that this trip report will be a more personal, reflective one in case you would like to skip that type. I purposely titled it with “widow” because that new descriptor greatly influenced this trip as you will read. I hope this report is especially an encouragement to our widows on the forum and others in general. Travel allows time to process, to be adventurous, to absorb beauty and appreciate life. My hotel Elba outside of Estepona said it well in their fruit bowl welcome note to me, “We don’t travel to escape from life. We travel so that life does not escape from us.”

This was a very different trip from my normal numerous cities/changing hotels often types of trips.  With both the positive & harder experiences during this trip, I am so glad I came.  I wrote this report both as a travel detail log & reflective thoughts each day. This time, my trip report was written more for me than for you, forum readers, although it still has helpful travel specifics.

This was my 20th trip to Europe, and my first one as a widow.  My active husband died peacefully & unexpectedly last May at home while I was actually in Italy - such a shock to our family & friends!  This 2025 February trip was supposed to be our return to southern Spain since we enjoyed the same so much in February 2024. I cancelled everything & later decided it should be done but shortened. I knew being there with so many fresh memories would be helpful in my grieving/healing. I purposely gave myself permission upfront to choose or skip anything during the trip that might make this trip logistically or emotionally “kinder” - and yes, that did happen.

The hour before I was to head to the airport, I was walking through each room of my home and having a hard time, emotionally.  The last room was our bonus room which is filled with golf decor, his hole-in-one wall golf trophy & some photos on canvas I took of him & our son at his home course.  They’re looking straight at me in the center one.  

Looking at it, the words he said to our oldest daughter when they were running a momentus race together suddenly fit so well as if he was also saying them to me right then. “Don’t let me hold you back.  You need to go forward!  Keep going, GO!” in that encouraging way.  So off I went, and here I am again in Spain.

My Itinerary: Fly from Spokane, to Minneapolis, to Amsterdam, to Malaga. Immediately take a train to Cordoba.
Cordoba- 3 nights
Sevilla - 4 nights
Marbella - 2 nights (this is my only new city)
Estepona - 1 night
Malaga - 3 nights (coinciding with their Carnaval Malaga)

Preparation:
I really appreciated any organizing that made this trip easier. Having my custom packing list ready to print from last year & knowing my Cotopaxi 35L packed would be at 13.5 pounds made packing a very easy task.

Neighbors nicely took care of my home - checking it each day. The lawn service removed 8” of snow while I was gone, and my daughter’s family spoiled my dog at their home.

Forum help:

Thank you, CWsocial for your correspondence that gave me additional ideas! The evening light show at the Alcazar at Sevilla came directly from you. Priscilla, I enjoyed our texts during my trip, and your warm conversation & real-time hints, also!

Pre-Excitement:
I put off finishing some travel photo books, but I completed my Spain 2024 photo book with Mixbook in January. Leafing through the pages of the book brought back so many wonderful memories and helped build the anticipation again for this trip!

Posted by
8095 posts

THE TRIP:
Cordoba:
Arrival day was a long day of travel connections! Cordoba was a good choice! H10 Palacio Colomera Hotel is architecturally one of the prettiest buildings on Plaza de las Tendillas. I saw this hotel in 2017 when we were first in Spain and had kept it in the back of my mind if we ever returned to Cordoba. I reserved a very nice room with a balcony overlooking the plaza w/ an extensive breakfast for only $115/night. Their rooftop terrace has secluded settings to enjoy the evening lights over the city. If I return to Cordoba, I will definitely stay here again.

The first morning, I had my first widow unexpected“gotcha”. The breakfast worker came by the tables to pour fresh orange juice & asked me if my husband wanted some, too, nodding towards the empty place setting across from me. Luckily I was almost finished, so some nice cold air on my face was a good solution. I walked for awhile & found our favorite ice cream shop from 2017. He loved gelato even more than I do - yeah, try to imagine - ha! The shop is Cremeria di Vaniglia, and its tagline translates to “gelato of Tuscany”. I stopped there twice during my three days in Cordoba. : )

I walked down towards the river and forgot that the Mezquita courtyard is open early during the day. The entrance for tickets start as you walk past the orange trees. It was a nice chance to capture some beautiful photos of the morning sun rising on the belltower.

I showed up at the Alcazar de Las Reyes Cristianos before it opened and was first inside. I enjoyed climbing through it with the finale gardens to stroll. This was another place where the timing to have an absence of people highlighted the sound of a peaceful garden & the lilt of the fountain waters.

Afterwards, I walked around familiar sites from 2017 - over the Roman bridge & through the lanes, finally coming upon a few landmarks. I also stopped into the art museum which was free. My timed ticket for the Mezquita was late afternoon, and I enjoyed seeing it again since the last time was 2017.

Day 2 at Cordoba started after breakfast (all good today!) with a walk over to the Correria to see the market….except no one is there at 9am! …and onward, leisurely walking towards the. Palacio de Viana. I arrived before it opened since there was no market. The variety of patio gardens are well done. I was the first person arriving, so it was a great chance to take photos without people in them, plus enjoying the quietness & the lovely sound of fountains. I had an 11:00 ticket for the villa tour, and to be honest, this was skippable to me. The tour was in Spanish, and the items, although nice to view, were mostly similar to other nice palaces.

Hammam Bath & Massage: I took a chance and booked a 1.5 hour session that included a Kessa & a 30-minute massage. There’s three temperature levels of baths in a relaxing setting with low lighting & only the sound of the quiet fountains. I loved this experience so much that I went back to my hotel room afterwards and booked the same company’s hammam in Malaga (I had penciled it in my itinerary just in case). This could become a “best practice for travel” - schedule a Hammam bath, kessa & massage as bookends for all travel to Spain! I felt like I was walking around the whole day as relaxed as a bowl of melted butter!

The first day I was exploring Cordoba, I saw the Gran Teatro de Córdoba around the corner from my hotel plaza, and the ads showed Anita de Lois was performing a jazz concert Saturday night - perfect! Ticket on-line reserved. It was the perfect ending to Saturday - a day filled with all of the senses - sites, colors, the hammam fountains, pleasing oil aroma (they give you a choice of four, so I picked one that smelled like I was in Spain!) & touch, and ending with food & music.

Posted by
8095 posts

Something funny: I love classic traditional Spanish guitar music and heard someone warming up in the plaza when I first arrived at my hotel and opened my balcony! What a special welcome to Spain! By the next morning, I noticed it was always just the beginning of a song with a few notes but then stopping. It turns out that “my musician” was the clock in the plaza!  LOL!

Sevilla:
I really love the atmosphere in Sevilla, so it was a definite “yes” for this trip! This is my third time staying in Sevilla, so the plans were a combo of some repeats & some new activities. I stayed in the same hotel we were at last year, Las Casas De El Arenal, which is very close to the cathedral - turn left at the NW corner of the cathedral, and it’s about a minute walk.
Repeats: SeeByBike city tour, the Alcazar
New: Alcazar Night Light Show, Flamenco Dance Class lesson, Free City Walking Tour

Plaza de Espana has been mentioned recently on the forum. That spot has a very special connection for my family. Besides being a place my husband & I liked from our first trip, my husband made a funny video last year while he was watching the antics of people trying to row their boats pointed backwards and blocking each other. It’s one of our most treasured videos now, ending with two girls in a boat laughing along with him. Arriving in Sevilla was an emotional day as I rushed back to Plaza de Espana as soon as I arrived. I felt very grateful for the chance to return to the scene of those fresh memories from the last European trip we would ever take together but couldn’t keep the tears from flowing once I stepped into that area.

As usual, there’s a lot going on at that location. The flamenco dancers with their musicians had the prime spot again, people who really don’t know how to row a boat kept me entertained & a little weepy, and I also loved hearing talented singers performing at key locations. That’s a reminder, although my default now is using ApplePay with my phone for transactions during the trip, I do like having 10€/day of available cash in case there’s traditional street musicians, etc. appreciating the beautiful atmosphere they provide.

My gelato economics showed an increase at Sevilla - LOL! The three Amorino gelato shops in the vicinity of the cathedral are now using touchscreen kiosks, like McDonalds, to order. : ( The process will work better when they figure out where to place them to queue up the group better.

I strolled through the Barrio Cruz neighborhood the first evening and ended up over at the Setas de Sevilla (the wood modern mushrooms) where we met up last year for a food tour. I know some people don’t like the wood structure; I love it! Several places looked familiar and brought back nice memories, including the Ines Rosales shop where our food tour guide had shared the story of Ines. It was our last stop on the food tour & my husband purchased a few extra “to go” items. I finished this first day in Sevilla with my first real Spanish meal on an off-street in the Barrio Cruz neighborhood.

Day 2 in Sevilla went differently than planned. I woke up with my stomach hurting, so other than coffee in my room, I skipped breakfast & lunch. I’ll summarize the day by saying, “Stop & prioritize your health”. I needed a lot of sleep & access to my hotel bathroom. Dinner was a banana, yogurt & small roll from a small quick stop Carrfour. The meds I’ve never needed previously but are always packed were very much appreciated on this day!

Posted by
8095 posts

That illness meant I missed the city bike tour - fortunately I had done the exact one in 2017. I gave my receptionist a translated note to call the bike shop and cancel my participation, so they weren’t waiting needlessly for me. She knew my name because “You’re the American staying in Room 108.” How cute! I do love having the benefits of a small, caring hotel, and they appreciated that I’m a repeat customer. I also had a ticket to the night Light Show at the Alcazar but just didn’t have any energy, yet, to go. Fortunately, I had purchased two tickets - for Day 2 & 4, so I still could see it on my last day in Sevilla.

Day 3 in Sevilla was almost back to normal. I met up with the Free Walking Tour of Sevilla, and Lidia gave us a nice tour of mostly sights I knew about previously but still enjoyed the time with others speaking English and learning some new info about Sevilla. Afterwards, I walked over to the Palacio de las Duenas and enjoyed the ease of not hurrying through the beautiful patio gardens & home.

While researching for this trip, I looked for some different activities that I could do - possibly activities I’d passed over previously because we both were traveling to Spain. The Flamenco dance lessons had been passed over but now was a perfect option. The instructor was professional but also a lot of fun. The rest of class happened to all be from France. We learned footwork, specific claps, gestures and a little of the culture. And, my family & friends loved my photos dressed up in a Flamenco outfit! My class was with Eva & Team through I Show U Sevilla.

Dinner - Sadly, I was now afraid to try more Spanish food for a few days, so I missed out in Sevilla. I stopped into 5 Guys to have a hamburger with veggie toppings and skipped the fries & milkshake. (Continuing to feel better!)

Day 4 in Sevilla: We had been to the Alcazar in Sevilla but not the Alcazar royal rooms. Be sure to do both! I had booked the earliest time period a month ago, and there were only 5 people in my group! Purses, phones, etc. must all be placed in their lockers, and the group is closely guarded as we walked through the rooms with our synced headsets. Photos are not allowed in this section. The ceilings, the accessories and rooms were exquisite!

Afterwards, I walked through the Alcazar & lovely gardens. I will mention that it’s nice to walk through all of it when it’s not as hot as October.

I’ve mostly been eating two meals a day on vacation - pretty typical. The meal this day wasItalian food at Maccheroni & Co. I had a good meal, and yeah!…a decent espresso! The weather here was warm with no coat needed. This was great timing for the trip because back home it was continuing to snow & snow!

I finally was going to be able to see the Naturaleza Encendida Light show at the Alcazar at night! Wow, it was utterly amazing! The route led through video projections on buildings & walls, monuments in changing colors, lots of garden hedges in pretty colors - all with accompanying music for the specific spot. It went well beyond the ones I attended in France in 2019. I was in the earliest group that allowed non-Spanish residents. Definitely be early in line for your timed entry; it was very crowded even in the timed queues.

I do want to mention the kindness of the staff at the El Arenal Hotel. I told the receptionist as I was leaving that this had been a special place to return because my husband & I had a last vacation here. She mentioned that she remembered us. And this next gesture was so thoughtful! She walked outside the front door with me and waited with me to make sure the taxi driver showed up.

I proceeded into a normal looking taxi, but really I was entering Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride - LOL! Why is it always so comical as if you’re watching all of the zippity zany acceleration moves happening from a distance? I arrived at the train station with so much time to spare!

Posted by
8095 posts

Marbella:
A new city to explore - purposely no plans for these two days other than enjoying a new locale along the water. ….except I didn’t really like it or the location of my hotel. The Obal Hotel interior is nice, and I had a upgrade to a large room from my basic. But the upgrade now looked out onto a busy road & a major bus stop. I took a nice long stroll some miles down the long promenade. When I came back from walking, this hotel felt like a mistake. Window open - loud traffic noise; window closed - fake “clean room” perfume. Between some of the questionable shops in the adjacent blocks, the traffic horns going, etc. I quickly looked up available options for my second night to just move to nearby Estepona, instead. My Estepona hotel was booked for the next night, so I chose a resort west of Estepona.

Marbella’s highlight for me was their Old Town - a very nice place to photograph! And to be fair to Marbella, I arrived tired and was ready for a kick-back good night’s sleep. A lack of sleep at Marbella had me glad to move on after this first night.

Marbella-to-West of Estepona:
Elba Estepona Gran Hotel & Thalasso Spa was available on Booking at a decent price and the reviews were good, so I booked it. I bought a new bus ticket to go to Estepona & take a taxi from there. A huge junior suite room with a sea view was only $8 more than a regular room, so that was an easy decision! The grounds & views were beautiful. The only “noise” at my resort room was the happy sound of the wind & waves - aahh, much better! And I was able to place my clothes out to freshen on my large balcony to remove any of the leftover fake hotel clean scent from the Marbella hotel. Dinner was delicious from a very professional wait staff. I even used two specific eating utensils that were new to me - fun! I’m not normally a resort person, but what a nice location to reset my situation! A few “Kindness $” spent to come here was an excellent decision!

Breakfast was a huge buffet - what I would picture for a cruise ship type tour. I woke up to my first rainy day, so I opened the two sets of balcony sliders and enjoyed that refreshing smell of rain & the sound of waves. The hotel check out time was noon, and that’s when the rain was supposed to stop - perfect! A nice, large suite to enjoy a cup of coffee & write. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep does towards a happy day! I left completely refreshed!

Estepona:
I anticipated this would be the hardest & also the best place to return - full of five days of happy memories from 2024. A beautiful town; I wanted enough time to see it again, walk the promenade, perhaps rent a bike again and eat at a favorite restaurant. When I told the Marbella hotel clerk I was moving over to Estepona, her eyes lit up, saying how nice Estepona is and mentioned the orchid arboretum, also. Last time we stayed here, the city was busy finishing their promenade with colored blocks, flowered sections & palm trees. The hotel I chose this time was where we escaped when our little apartment’s water was turned off for the day because of a construction accident while the workers were busy working on the road out front. Hotel El Pilar Andalucia is the nicest one in the old center, lovely inside. They changed their breakfast now to be made-to-order, so I chose their omelette, OJ & espresso.

Posted by
8095 posts

I took a taxi from the resort into the center of the small coastal city to stay one night at this hotel. They were friendly & mentioned this was a repeat stay for me. The hotel is central for walking over to the pretty promenade or walking the lanes with colored pots designating each street. I spent most of the day walking & enjoying it all. I was hoping Gibraltar would be clear enough to see. It was much clearer the whole time I was there, and the African mountains at the coastline were also visible this time.

For dinner I wanted to return to one of our favorite Italian restaurants. The one near our apartment was closed for vacation, but the one around the corner from my hotel was open & packed. The older man at the reception door kindly found me a table, and I had a fabulous meal. It felt like an anniversary dinner - both from special reminiscing & the delicious food! I chose their fresh tagliatelle with lobster in a lobster bisque sauce. Tiramisu rounded out the meal.

Estepona was such a good choice. I am so glad I came back! The weather turned from rain that morning to warm & sunny from noon onward - such a perfect, lovely day in a beautiful spot!

Malaga:
We’ve stayed at Malaga twice but still had a few museums that would be new to me. I penciled in the Thyssen & the Glass/Crystal Museum for this trip. I also considered another Hammam bath & massage here, if I liked the one in Cordoba. Yes, as soon as I returned to my hotel room in Cordoba, I booked the Hammam bath, Kessa & massage for Malaga. : )

I picked the Soho Boutique Equitativa hotel this time which is located at the beginning of Calle Lario.

After checking into the hotel, I headed out for a gelato at Luccianos, which is at the other end of my long block. Yes, it was just as good as I remembered! It gave me a little zing to walk inside it without my husband beside me since it was our favorite gelato shop here.

The Malaga Carnaval singing groups, like the ones we enjoyed so much in Cadiz last year, were set up at specific spots on Calle Larios Sunday afternoon & entertaining the crowd with their witty lyrics, costumes & multi-part harmony.

I wanted a decent meal before the rest of the festivities began. I like salads when I am traveling to be eating vegetables. The salad at the Monte Carlo restaurant was delicious! Prawns, lots of veggies, apple balls, & Iberian ham.

Posted by
8095 posts

The huge Carnaval Parade drew such a large crowd - wow! I put on my coat in my hotel room to go watch it but realized as I looked out the window, I already had the prime spot to view everything! My room had the view straight down Calle Larios, plus I could see everything coming down the main street before it turned. There were themed sets of floats, balloon type floats, groups doing acrobatics, rhythm drums, and lots & lots of paper confetti!

My late night dinner later on was at a well-known restaurant, McDonald’s. : ). It just wouldn’t be my typical trip to Europe if I didn’t eat at one occasionally! The place was crowded, of course, from the Carnaval, so it was nice to grab a meal by ordering at the kiosks and listening for my number in Spanish.

Day 2 of Malaga began with a timed ticket to see the Picasso Museum again. I had a nice conversation with a couple from Brussels while we waited the half hour for the museum to open. Yes, choose the first entry time, and yes, get there early. Since I had been there before, I skipped the audio guide, and I also walked past the first two walls that contain several paragraphs of info. I ended up a few rooms ahead of everyone even though I was stopping & thoroughly enjoying it all. After several rooms, this really became apparent how nice it was to enjoy this museum with no one else in the room. To be able to view the paintings as a whole in each room, unobstructed from the opposite wall, and to not just see them at arm’s length (although that’s important, too). My daughter & I experienced this in the Uffizi Gallery, and it still amazes me how much more the art is fulfilling in this manner of viewing!

That afternoon was my second Hammam bath, Kessa & massage (booked in Cordoba). The Malaga facility is larger and much more ornate than the Cordoba one, but it was also much busier. The Cordoba one had a more intimate, quiet atmosphere with soothing water trickling vs. louder music & pool water drain sounds at Malaga. Both were very nice, and I would return to either one. Both massages were excellent and very relaxing. I purchased the Midra-45 for both, giving me a 15-minute Kessa & 30-minute massage, plus the time before & after in the pools. Cordoba’s was 75€, and Malaga’s was 100€.

The location of hotels is always very important to me from a safety standpoint, so having this one across the street from the main beautiful Call Larios, plus having my windows facing it, gave me the ideal location to enjoy the evenings. (Last year we stay at their sister site, Soho Boutique Colon. I didn’t want to walk those extra blocks at night this time.). The area is lively with tapas restaurants and people of all ages out walking. I captured a few fun photos of the line-up of mostly older men sitting across from each other, competing at chess at two of the stone benches used as long tables on the sidewalk on that street. I enjoy photographing at night, and the cathedral provided a couple of gorgeous settings for it.

Day 3 of Malaga began at the Carmen Thyysen Museum, although I gave myself a relaxing morning and didn’t get there until 11am. It wasn’t overly crowded - still able to enjoy everything. Wow, I was surprised how many gorgeous works were in this museum! I definitely recommend it for a 90-minute visit. The rest of this day was a no-agenda day to soak in the ambiance & warmth of Malaga. Some of our previous activities here last year such as the cathedral, the small Alcazar, the botanical garden walk, etc. were ones I wanted to skip this time. I walked over to the waterfront and ate a nice salad in one of the outdoor restaurants where two mammoth yachts were docked. People were out soaking up the warmth, and I stopped to enjoy a duo musician group - good to use up coins the last full day.

Posted by
8095 posts

Luccianos is the only ice cream/gelato on this trip that hasn’t made my stomach hurt afterwards, so I was sure I should test out this theory again for you forum readers by increasing my order to a large cup this time. Taking one for the team, here - LOL! Yes, my third time there in three days, and no stomach ache for the win! I took the long route back to the hotel, eventually recognizing streets. Back at my room, I was peaceful & relaxed & listened to some soft violin background music from a street performer outdoors while I wrote.

My family & relatives have remarked to each other & later to me that I am a strong person. I’ve always try to face situations head-on, and reflecting on this trip, that’s exactly what happened here in Spain. My last day in Malaga felt kind of like a quiet celebration day of making it through this trip & not just surviving it - completing it with several very good days & even with the ability to see more trips in the future. For that, I think this was the best thing I could have done on my journey of grieving & healing at this 9-month milestone - to return to Spain as we had planned & wished but also now turning it into my own trip.

Flying home:
I didn’t want to take the o’dark early flight leaving Malaga, so I chose one that left late afternoon. Since I will fly out at 4:30pm, I will have an overnight at Schiphol airport. The following day, my final flights are: Amsterdam-to-Seattle-to-Spokane.

What I did differently:
Previously, I FaceTimed with my husband each evening when I traveled solo. We would have great conversations, catching up on our day and usually relaying something sweet or humorous that happened to either him on the golf course or me in Europe. That conversation was going to be a big gap now, so I shared it with our adult kids & my sister, and they filled that need.

Stayed at a location longer than my solo vacations- I wasn’t up for my normal pace for this trip.

I booked more activities ahead of time than I normally would do. I figured for this trip it was better to skip one than to feel lonely this time. And, I was glad for each of them.

I brought a lightweight fleece jacket, plus my usual Columbia raincoat. I wore the fleece much more than the raincoat.

Continue to like:
Paper. I like it. : ). Yes, I use on-line walking directions when needed, but I still like to make a paper 1-sheet map of each city I will visit - just a screenshot enlarged of the section I care about from a tourist map from www.ontheworldmap.com. Jotting a few notes on the map with a couple of highlighter colors mentally has me prepared mentally walking the city before I arrive. I don’t mind wandering a bit on the way to a site and usually see something of interest. If I get stuck, the on-line guide can talk me through the last few blocks.

ApplePay - it continues to be so handy for traveling! And I like the record of what I spent or where I ate.

Only four trains on this trip! I am usually riding a lot of quick trains during a trip.

Posted by
8095 posts

What I missed:
A “sweet something”. My husband always wanted to take the first shower in our next hotel. He would tell me afterwards how the controls worked, or if the floor might be slippery for me. (I was a mechanical engineer. He just did this as a gesture of kindness.) The funny shower this time in the Elba Estepona hotel had me laughing out loud! What looks like the cold knob in this small enclosure was suddenly jets shooting straight at body parts! Okay, I’m awake - ha!

Summary:
In summary, this trip had emotional days - no surprise! Some days were wonderful; some days had some sadness. The good days kept the trip moving well. I wanted to come on this trip for two reasons that were both important to me: 1. To relive some fresh memories at the same cities my husband & I enjoyed a year ago. 2. To step forward, continuing one of my hobbies, my love of European travel. Both of those reasons were fulfilled, and I am so glad that I came! Even if travel felt different on this trip - more contemplative, less experienced, it was still very good. I have a lot of beautiful photographs from this trip to treasure & to be encouraged!

Where next:
Two more European trips are planned this year for Italy. I’m back in the Puglia region late Spring traveling solo. I’ve only been to Puglia as a solo traveler, so I think that’s an excellent choice. Later in the year, a Mother/Daughter trip - first time for our younger adult daughter with me.

Posted by
4723 posts

I'm sure your husband would be proud of you for taking this bittersweet trip. Can you tell us what stomach meds you took-they seem to have worked well. Thanks

Posted by
8095 posts

Hi Cala, I took two “Anti-Diarrheal” and ate the healthiest yogurt I could find in the store - not the Dannin type stuff after the pills took effect.

Posted by
479 posts

So beautifully written, Jean. I'm so glad that you continue to travel because I know at first that was a difficult decision to make. Dan would be so proud of you. Hope to see you Saturday.

Posted by
5312 posts

Dear Jean,
I’ve always enjoyed reading your wonderful trip reports and this one was extra special because of the circumstances and all the personal anecdotes you shared.

I think you’re so brave to continue traveling despite missing your sweet DH.

Thanks again for sharing your trip with me, I enjoyed our texts, your amazing photos, and the gelato in Málaga!

P.S.

“We don’t travel to escape from life. We travel so that life does not escape from us.”

What a beautiful sentiment!

Posted by
2184 posts

Jean, my heart sank when I read the prelude to your report. As I read more, I was torn between wanting to just give you a big virtual hug and saying "you go girl" (for putting one foot in front of the other and continuing with life), holding precious your memories, but still creating new ones.

Sometimes it is the little "love things" a spouse does (like your husband with the shower), that are missed the most. Actually it is A LOT of little things that combined say A LOT of love.

Hugs to you.........................

Posted by
1563 posts

Thanks for your thoughtful report; it reassures me that life is precious and is what you make it!

Posted by
2128 posts

Thanks so much for a wonderful trip report. The emotions and feelings travel inspire are even more significant than the sights themselves as your heartfelt sharing conveys. Honestly, I’m not sure I’d have had your courage to take the trip myself. Kudos to you and may your husband’s memory be a blessing to you.

Posted by
9069 posts

Jean, thanks for sharing. As a fellow widow I realize the courage you show goes far beyond a trip or traveling. It is the courage to make the decision each day to move forward with living in spite of your grief.

Those “gotcha” moments will still sneak up on you throughout the years. They never go away just like your grief never goes away but just becomes a part of who you are.

I remember having a “pity fest” that my life was never going to be the same. It wasn’t how we had planned it. It certainly wasn’t how I wanted it. Then I realized that this was all true, but that didn’t mean that I still couldn’t have a good life.

I’m glad you are traveling. I am glad you are putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.

Posted by
2924 posts

Jean,

This was very touching to read and I thank you for sharing it with us.

Beth

Posted by
4781 posts

What I missed:
A “sweet something”. My husband always wanted to take the first shower in our next hotel. He would tell me afterwards how the controls
worked, or if the floor might be slippery for me.

I do this, although I think my role was less chivalrous and more sacrificial lamb. And even though my wife is a strong capable woman I always worry that if something happened to me if she'd manage the little things on her own. I know she could, and I hope she would. I'm happy for you that you still have the travel bug.

Posted by
2849 posts

Bravo to you for taking this trip and sharing it with us. It was a beautifully written and touching report. I hope that I can draw on your experience if I find myself in your shoes some day. Thank you.

Posted by
2344 posts

So beautifully and powerfully written. Thank you for sharing all and it deserves to be preserved with a bookmark.

Posted by
2878 posts

Jean--When I read the title, I knew this would be a sweet read, but also emotional. That morning coffee moment is what I refer to as a sneak grief attack. After my mom died, a friend warned me about those and I was so thankful for that. They still hit, and sometimes when I least expect it. The shower story made me laugh! Showers away from home are often an experiment;) I am so glad that you took the time to be kind to yourself. You are certainly an inspiration for living life!

Posted by
4383 posts

Jean,
A lovely report and a tribute to your husband’s memory. Even if he wasn’t there with you in person, he was spiritually, helping you to remember the fun you had together in Spain.
Thank you for sharing both your trip and emotions.
Barbara

Posted by
2878 posts

Jean, what a wonderful report. You impeccably illustrate the old adage that grief doesn't go away or get smaller but instead we grow around our grief. Bravo for showing how you are taking those first steps and also for candidly sharing them with us.

Posted by
2347 posts

Thank you, Jean. I am also making a note of the quote from your hotel Elba.

A turning point for me after my husband's death was deciding that, just as I was hoping that he was happy and at peace, in a place with flowers and birdsong, he must also be hoping that I was happy and at peace. I'm sure that Dan is hoping that for you.

Posted by
574 posts

What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing & so sorry for your loss.

Posted by
2698 posts

Thank you for sharing your bittersweet trip, Jean.

Posted by
15114 posts

Jean, thanks for sharing your memorable trip. Weaving your reminiscing about Dan along with your activities and thoughts from this trip is such a tribute to your relationship.

I would love for him to have heard your shower story! And I know he would have loved your flamenco dance lesson as well!!

Travel well coming home!