The Etiquette of Deplaning

Thanks, Mardee. The author's last comment about finishing his game or reading a book instead of standing hunched under the overhead bin reminded me of my flight home 3 weeks ago. I was in the aisle seat about half-way back. I just sat until two rows ahead were pulling their bags down and walking off. I then stood up, turned to the middle seat woman and told her I was going to lower the overhead bin. She just stared at me. I repeated I was going to open the bin and she needed to sit down because otherwise it was going to hit her on the top of the head.

If there is a gap when the line is moving, I go. Someone too slow out of their seat means there is a gap ahead of that person.
The idea is - no gaps as people file out. That's the slowdown.

The beauty of flying first or business class is you get off the plane first, a nice perk when landing jet lagged in Europe. I experienced it recently for the first time, and I am officially hooked on 'turning left' now, hope to never sit in coach again (at least not on transoceanic flights).

I remember a flight many years ago where the flight attendant announced that there were a few passengers with a really tight connection and asked everyone to remain seated until they got off. Everyone complied.

I'm with the guy who just keeps reading his book until most have cleared out. That's another reason I like a window seat.

I remember a flight many years ago where the flight attendant announced that there were a few passengers with a really tight connection and asked everyone to remain seated until they got off. Everyone complied.

Yes, I remember those days, too. But now, with the tight connections, pretty much everyone on the plane could make the case they need to get off the plane first. I read an article a few days ago about the rise in "tight connections" and the percentage of flights that arrive late, a growing problem.

Interesting article, Mardee! Thanks!

"I read an article a few days ago about the rise in "tight connections" and the percentage of flights that arrive late, a growing problem."

That's interesting as well. I had a flight change for my coming home flight the end of October on Delta. The computer changed me from transiting Seattle to transiting SLC but there was only 1h5m transit time. That lengthened to 1h15m over a few months. The actual flight was 15 minutes late meaning I was back to an hour or so to get to my plane to Spokane. I used to know the SLC airport really well but with the new terminal it's not familiar to me. However, I had a strategy. I was in Delta One, so yes the FAs were allowing those passengers to deplane first. I was sitting in 8A so was the 4th off the plane. Carry on only, Global Entry. Hit the Immigration area with one guy in front of me. Border Control guy actually stood up and leaned out of his kiosk, called my name, asked one question as I was walking to him and waved me on. Wow. Yep, I made it in under 30 minutes from doors open to boarding for Spokane including a comfort stop. I paid up for Delta One and was so glad I did. If I'd had to wait to deboard even from Economy Comfort I'd not have made this connection.

As a person said in the article, I, too, will go ahead if someone is struggling with gathering belongings. I don't see anything wrong with that but I do see something wrong with someone not being self-aware enough to realize they are holding up a line of others by not being organized.

We have seen this more and more on international flights even if we’re on time. It’s just going to upset others, who also would like to get off, if you chose to be rude rather than politely wait your turn….and probably not good in today’s climate. My husband and 6’4 SIL now stand up and block the aisle as they let the rows in front of them exit. I remember this last time having one gal push people to pass only to see her being a gate lice for our connecting flight. Some people are some people. There’s got to be a book out there on “My experiences with people as a frequent airline traveler” :-)…..

It's ironic that the WSJ had an article about deplaning etiquette. Setting aside the fact that airplanes were, once upon a time, for wealthier and better dressed travelers, there is no acknowledgement of how this etiquette developed on ... gasp! ... public busses (and, I assume, before my time, trolley cars.) But today, "no one" has ever traveled except in a mighty private SUV, spending fifteen minutes to park one row closer to the mall entrance you want to use.

Anyone who has used a bus (including "was not driven to school as a sole passenger by a parent") knows how to deplane. But an Entitled First Generation Professional has no idea how to think of the needs and privileges of ... another person. It's lamentable that the "old-money" Americans, who DID learn etiquette, and the term "Noblesse Oblige", have been crowded out of their previous position of influence. I had so much exposure to those old-ways in the 1970's that after my junior year of college, I bought and read all 500? pages of Amy Vanderbilt's "New Complete Book of Etiquette."

The hopscotch-plan in the OP's linked Wall Street Journal article is really bad-More of the idea that the Silicon Valley Bro have the right solution for ... everything!

I remember a flight many years ago where the flight attendant announced that there were a few passengers with a really tight connection and asked everyone to remain seated until they got off. Everyone complied.

Our last Delta flight was a connection home from Boston to Detroit (after Athens to Boston). The flight was repeatedly delayed and we in fact watched the flight crew run from an incoming flight over to our flight. Hours of delay frayed some passengers beyond their normal states of mind. Upon arrival in Detroit some nearby passengers said that they had only 6 minutes before the doors closed on their next connecting flight. The flight attendant asked everyone to please be considerate of those passengers who had 6 minutes but that he had no power to force compliance. Of course that encouraged everyone to become animals and just jam the aisle. We sat as we were in no hurry to get to our metro Detroit home. So, we walked out with some of the people who missed their connection. Just ugly behavior....no etiquette observed whatsoever.

If you’re not in a hurry to get off the plane yourself, best to maybe just sit back and look at it all as a form of entertainment.
And don’t forget to thank your flight crew as you leave!

Unless I have a close a connecting flight or reserved transportation, I like to just sit and wait until almost everyone has deplaned. Don't mind being the last off the plane as it avoids the rush, rush mob scene. Some years ago we landed at Gatwick and were the very last off the plane. All the folks at the immigration desk had gone on a tea break -- had to find someone to let us in the country legally.

Riff raff- gate lice. This forum is a rough crowd if you aren’t up in the front of the plane with your amenities.

On my flight back to MSP from Heathrow earlier this year, the flight was delayed by several hours, and there were many people who needed to make connections. My seatmate was one of them. He was from England and it was his first trip to the states, so I asked the flight attendant if she could make an announcement and ask that people allow those who had tight connections to deplane first. She told me she would love to, but that it wouldn't do any good at all. No one cares.

"public busses (and, I assume, before my time, trolley cars"

I find people very polite disembarking planes - almost never have I seen someone push through. But the again, coming from Singapore not many people have cars, and most people take the MRT or bus to work/school.

When I was in college I took a class on etiquette. Yes, they used to have those…. The main lesson of the course was that the purpose of etiquette is to make sure you are treating those around you well. It isn’t supposed to be a list of rules, rather a way of behavior that respects others. I’m not worried about the nitty-gritty of plane deplaning and what is the “right way”. I am only concerned that I treat my fellow passengers in a polite and respectful manner.

Posted by Carol now retired

When I was in college I took a class on
etiquette. Yes, they used to have those…. The main lesson of the
course was that the purpose of etiquette is to make sure you are
treating those around you well. It isn’t supposed to be a list of
rules, rather a way of behavior that respects others. I’m not worried
about the nitty-gritty of plane deplaning and what is the “right way”.
I am only concerned that I treat my fellow passengers in a polite and
respectful manner.

This.

I'm just thinking back to a 2023 international trip and a 2024 domestic flight. On one, we were late and a flight attendant asked if we would remain sitting because there were 6 people throughout the plane who had very tight connections. No one moved from their seats allowing those people off the plane. In my domestic flight, everyone remained sitting, that I could see, in the main cabin and we all waited for our turn to get up and get luggage.

I had been nervous after Covid due to all the ridiculous stories coming out on the news about bad behavior. Fortunately, I've only seen it a couple of times, and it wasn't so bad and it was about boarding. First class passengers on Iberia when the attendants wanted Business to board first, "but we're in first class". LOL. And a mature, well dressed couple who were called out of line by the gate agent and got all upset because they were losing their place in line. So no bad behavior on the plane, but less than stellar behavior on the ground. I try to keep in mind that some people have been traveling all night and exhaustion does damper one's behavior sometimes.

On my international flight I was in business, so we were first off and I have no clue as to the behavior. I will admit, there were a couple of times in the distance past where I had no overhead luggage and I was in the front 3rd row of main, when I scurried off before the crowd wrangled their luggage, because I could immediately get out of the way. I think I had connections then. I no longer am a scurrier...

I, too, was raised by parents who prepared me for all kinds of etiquette scenarios so that I could fit in anywhere and knew how to behave or respond in any situation. I am thankful for that.

I had a delayed flight into Minneapolis with a connection for Des Moines - last option of the night. Fortunately I was sitting next to a flight attendant who gave me specific instructions of “if the tram is waiting there; if it’s not…” while we were landing. I was in Premium Economy and was able to clear a path through to the front since the flight attendants announced that a few of us had flights we were going to miss and people mostly cooperated since I sprung up ready to go as soon as the ping sounded. A man directly behind me thanked me profusely because my path allowed him to walk directly behind me to try to catch his very tight connection, too.

Usually I don’t have a tight connection- try to choose options with lots of buffer time. If I see someone worried, I wave them ahead; otherwise, I aim to be ready to go to avoid the gap that delays the others in the rows behind me.

I will add a comment: if you see someone harried, please be kind and give them a break - deplaning or boarding. The day after my husband died, I was trying to get home from Rome, and there was a real jerk who was very unkind to me when I was trying to ask the gate agent if I could board early when they would start the boarding. When I deplaned in Atlanta, a woman came up to me and spoke her sympathy after overhearing my situation. Behind her came her husband- the jerk, with an obviously forced added comment of sympathy.

@Jean, your experience last May is the first thing that came to mind when I read Mardee's post and the link. We just don't know what challenges others are facing.

When I was young, I used to watch an Aaron Spelling tv show called ‘Fantasy Island’.

At the start of the show the sidekick character would shout ‘De plane, de plane!!!’ as the airplane delivering that weeks guests flew overhead.

This is now what I hear when I read about deplaning, as t’s a verb I’ve never heard used outside of this forum and sounds like a made up word.

I’m pretty sure in NZ we either ‘disembark’ or ‘exit’ the plane.

I just found this funny and wanted to share!

It's lamentable that the "old-money" Americans, who DID learn etiquette, and the term "Noblesse Oblige", have been crowded out of their previous position of influence.

Huh?

Jean--I hope that man learned some empathy from that. I am sorry you were subjected to it though. I remember last year when my mom died and same thing, I was trying to hold it together on the plane, but did not do a good job of it. The agents at the gate for boarding actually took my bag down the ramp and put it in the bin above for me. Then when deplaning, a lady offered to take my bag up the ramp for me. I was a mess, sobbing and only about 6 weeks post knee replacement surgery. Not a good combo at all, but those people made such a difference for me that day.

Trust me no one cares. The last trip my mom and I were on a plane and sitting in the middle and window seat. Even though we had told our seat mate on the aisle we had a transfer, the person just sat there until everyone else was off and then got up and left with a smirk. People today are uncaring. That’s why I always try to allow enough times between flights because courtesy’s dead.