5 adults traveling together question

No, they can fend for themselves, though if you were to need to rebook, they may ask about the rest of your party, if you booked as a group of five, and need to split them from the itinerary.

Not sure what airport you are flying out of, but being at the airport 3 hours prior is kind of expected at a larger airport for an international flight. I fly out of a mid-sized regional airport, and I can get by with a little over an hour in a pinch, but give myself more time. Do the two who are questioning the three hours fly often from this airport? Or rarely fly? If they are unfamiliar with security and flying, push a bit harder for an early arrival.

Give them their tickets & meet them on the plane. They are adults. That’s it.

Micromanaging 5 adults leads to conflict, anger & unpleasantness all of which ruin a holiday together.

Hi Lulu348, personally I think this is potentially a much bigger concern than what time to be at the airport. Have you collectively talked before this trip about schedules during the trip, I.e. some are early birds, others want to stay out late or possibly don’t care if they’re late? Are you planning to all be together during the daytime, or is there flexibility for each to go do what’s appealing to them, so time clock people won’t irritate loose schedulers?

For the airport ticket question, that needs to be clear that each person is checking in for themself (everyone is an adult), getting themself in the plane, etc. If they’re not there, they’ve missed the trip. There was an excellent video in a work executive training that conveyed that excuses, I.e. bad traffic maybe in this case is no excuse. Blaming outside forces isn’t mature, so if they’ve miss the flight & the vacation, it is now a hard-learned but valuable lesson the hard way. …and maybe less helpfulness as parents in general leading up to this vacation can help expectations that Dad & Mom always “fix” issues for “the kids”.

I would try and get a refund on their tickets. Seriously.

I don't know the answer to your responsibility if they screw up, but I'm with you Lulu, three hours. We once made the mistake of letting one of our offspring drive us the hour to IND and we worried the whole way about being late because he pushed it so close; we had become our parents and the offspring had become us.

But, assuming you are flying out of Indianapolis, or an even smaller regional airport, they should be ok. IND is a great airport to sail through. Loved that place when we lived there. Meanwhile, you can go have a drink and then stop for a neck and back massage at the stand near the gates before greeting them calmly as they arrive frantically. Or, get a mani-pedi.

Are these the same two checking their bags from the other post?! I think Mr. E has good advice.

I must admit that I don’t get to airports more than 2 hours an international flight if I have boarding pass and am not checking luggage. All to say I would not worry about them too much if the above is true.

But I agree with Jean that you need to make sure before you go that expectations are clear. We have traveled twice to Europe with our adult children. What we did was to plan things that we were doing but allow everyone to do something else if they wanted (on their own dime). Most of the time we did things together but not always. In Greece, my one son who had wanted us to go to Meteora rented a car, drove there, and spent the night while the rest of (6 people) continued to tour Athens.

Lulu, I wish you good luck on this trip. You haven't even left the country yet and you're children are being difficult. Traveling with a group can be stressful even under the best circumstances.

I agree with Jean. This foreshadows some bigger issues.

First to your question: they have paid tickets. If there is an issue, you don’t need to be involved. However, if they miss the flight for whatever reason, the airline may require them to pay for another ticket. I would be VERY clear that this will be at THEIR expense. If they don’t make the trip for this reason, they would be responsible for their portion of all expenses: hotels, transportation, etc.

Part of me is afraid that they are wanting to try that trend where people don’t leave the house until an hour before the flight boards. They can F around and find out on their own dime!

Second: you absolutely need to have a conversation about expectations on this trip. As you say, they are adults. They probably have their own ideas about how they want to spend their time. You, as the parent paying for all of it, probably have a different vision. Since the end goal is to make happy memories together, you need to discuss how to make that happen. Will there be days when they can sleep in and do their own thing if they want? Will there be pre-planned activities that are non-negotiable? We travelled with our teens and one of their favorite memories was going off on their own for an evening. Navigating the Vaporetto, researching a restaurant for dinner, etc.

Well, I will chime in to say that you possibly need to all check in together.

Last year, I had paid for all 4 tickets for an international flight leaving from PDX (Portland) and although we were all at the airport together, our daughter and her husband were not with us when we checked in at the Delta desk.

The Delta person said that we all needed to check in together because the 4 tickets were on the same reservation.

Luckily they walked up to the desk about that time, so no worries, but it was a lesson for me. Certainly, at TSA security they seem to always want whoever is traveling together to stay together.

You have already received plenty of advice. I’m just going to send my well wishes for a trip filled with good family memories.

Yeah when my young adult daughter and her two friends were flying to Europe to backpack around for 3 months , one of the girls did NOT want to be at the airport at 5 am for an 8am flight.

She arrived at airport at 7:30 ( our airport is small ) and didn’t make the flight .

Luckily her mom
Phoned me in tears that her daughter had messes up so bad and I just happen to have a friend who worked for the airline without extra charge ( which there would have been as they had cheap tickets ) - but most won’t be that lucky .

This foreshadowed the whole trip however - she was a difficult person to travel with and made my daughter and other girls trip stressful with her whining and not wanting to be organized or early for various planes trains and buses then took .

I sincerely hope your adult kids are paying their own way - if they are not I’d put my foot down hard .

Are they checking bags? Are you? I know my adult kids and I were dropped off by husband to get in line to check in two bags because the traffic was far worse than normal 5 am stuff. We were not allowed to drop the bags while he was not present even though the two checked bags were under the kids names, not my husband. They insisted that she had to look at all 4 ID's before she would take the bags. Thank goodness he arrived fairly quickly and they let us wait to the side instead of going to the back of the line. This was domestic flight out of PDX and we should have gotten there 2 hours with normal 5 am traffic.

My big thing is, who is paying. Mom and dad footing the bill? Then they follow mom and dad rules.

Make it clear ( and stick to it) that ANY and ALL additional costs that result from being late is theirs to pay.

I have never been to IND, but if your flight plan is IND-JFK-CDG, then getting to IND 3 hrs before departure may be unnecessary.

I have no idea how far from IND you are , nor what time of year you are traveling ( weather issues) , so aiming to be there 3 hours ahead my be the thing to do.

My $0.02--- use as you see fit

All it takes is one bad accident to jam up a route. As a mom, I know I'd be distressed to not have them on the "perfect" family trip I envisioned, but I admit the advice to let them take any consequences is sound---unless you are paying. In which case, they need to suck it up and not make you begin your trip so stressed about whether or not they will make it. Even if they are paying, can't they give you that early Xmas gift---peace of mind?

I haven't traveled with my parents since my pre-marriage days. I was 29, and my brother was 21. We took a trip to Switzerland and Austria. Because I was a college grad with a job, they only paid for my land expenses (no airfare for me). I still arrived at the airport with them at least three hours before. We were taking the trip together, so we traveled together.

On a more current note, my home airport is small. In fact, the two terminals don't connect, so the dining, drinking, and entertainment options are quite limited. My husband and I live a 10 minute drive from this airport. There are no direct flights to Europe, which means our first flight is always domestic. We still get to the airport 3 hours early. We manage to keep ourselves entertained in the terminal. Between people watching, grabbing a drink, or eating the food we brought (yes, we pack our own food), the time passes quickly.

Out of respect for you, your kids should be willing to come to the airport with you. Why do they want to cause you stress and worry before the trip starts?

Ok, lots of great advice. The one that is making me sit up is nit being able to Che k in with Delta unless we are all there. I did the reservations, I paid the fees, I’m checking in for our tickets and printing them.

The flight leaves at 2. Last gate boarding is 1:40. I received the email and passed it on to them, letting them know that boarding will most likely be at 1:00. Apparently their plane was to leave at 11:30, would take about 45 minutes to get there. They are checking bags.

As far as the trip itself, I’ve gone over several times we are not joined at the hip. We have different schedules and if they want to go off by then selves, that’s fine. Hang with us, that’s fine. Meet up,later, still fine. The only requirement is to go to the places I reserved and DH wants us all to have dinner together. They can go out where they want. I’m not calling the shots on vacation. I want my DIL to not be sick of me!

But this airport thing bugs me. I’m also going to tell them if they miss their flight, they might have to buy another ticket on their dime.

I think I’m going to contact a friend of mine who used to work at the Delta counter last year. I’m sure she’d know the rules. Thanks all for your suggestions and opinions.

Curious to know how old these children are?
Have they flown internationally before?
I would give them this forum thread to read and find out from other travelers here what can be avoided , in order to have a good start to the trip.
Fingers crossed for you all, and let us know how departure went in the end……

hey hey Lulu348
WOW WOW, so entitled. i won't sound nice, maybe some say cruel oh well
how old are these adults? i agree with Mr E, refund their tickets and see how fast they change their minds if they do. let them buy their own tickets. (one is your DIL?)
if all on one ticket, have to be together to check in. plus hoping their 11:30am flight gets their ontime, deboard, get luggage, check in, go thru passport and to gate by 1, good heavens. mom and dad you guys are too good to vacation together & pay but... what's their issue with the 3 hours when they are on their own while on vacation, too many red flags. my flight from O'hare to lexington was delayed one hour, my niece was great waiting, brought her word search LOL, no way to contact her just a big hug when i arrived.
last month driving back from indianapolis to lexington KY the traffic was horrendous, backed up for miles and miles and miles, another here in SF bay area, BART (subway transport) derailed, my "private chaffeur" called me and said we leaving early to oakland airport, i was ready. it was so bad with people trying to get to work, business meetings, airports, ubers/lyfts, wherever.
my momma always said "put on your big girl or boy pantolunes and deal with it" life is too short
hope all works out and enjoy the times together
aloha

Hey I totally understand and agree with not being joined at the hip. However, when it’s a travel day that involves tickets and paid transportation that doesn’t count.!

How old are these young adult children and have they travelled independently to Europe or anywhere before I don’t mean a charter to all-inclusive in Mexico I mean actually travelled?

Was plane a typo for plan?
It’s apparently their PLAN was to leave at…
not plane.

Ahhh, Elizabeth, that would make more sense, wouldn't it? I hope you're right. Still, I would not want to only have 45 minutes before boarding to park, check luggage and get through security...and that's at my relatively small airport.

My son missed his flight in Seattle once because he cut it too close. I don't know if he was on public transit or had Ubered.

Yes, the word was supposed to be plan, not plane. Sorry for all the confusion. None have traveled internationally on their own.

I discussed with my husband when he came home from work. I told him how I learned here that since we’re all on one reservation, we need to be together to check-in and for them to check their bags.

So, I texted my son and told him what the issue is, so they’ll need to be at our home at such and such time. He just said he didn’t realize it and ok. So problem solved!

Thanks to several answering the question specifically.

Glad you got it all straightened out. Hope you have a wonderful time. As I said, we have done this twice and have many wonderful memories but there were both times a few bumps. Maybe you have gotten yours out of the way early!

I told him how I learned here that since we’re all on one reservation, we need to be together to check-in and for them to check their bags. So, I texted my son and told him what the issue is, so they’ll need to be at our home at such and such time. He just said he didn’t realize it and ok. So problem solved!

Hahahahaha!!! I'm so glad your problem is solved. I have to say, though, that even if the above rule about check-in was not true, I would have told them it was, just to get them there on time. 🤣 What? Lie to your children? In a heartbeat!!! 😉

Regardless, have a WONDERFUL trip!!!

Good you got it sorted….and Mardee, I would do the same!
I have a friend who is chronically late.
We tell her that meeting times are much earlier than they are to get her there on time. ;)

Now, Lulu….we hope for a trip report when you return home.
Have a marvellous time!

Airlines don’t require everyone on the same reservation to check in or go through security together. Each adult is responsible for their own boarding pass and ID. If the two who insist on arriving later get delayed or miss the flight, it doesn’t affect the rest of you. You don’t need to be involved beyond your own check-in and boarding. The only exception would be if you had booked special assistance or unaccompanied minor services, which clearly isn’t the case here.