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Opting out

This will be out first RS tour, though we have traveled extensively. We often will just spend time strolling around doing nothing to get a feel for a place. Would it be upsetting to the group dynamic if we opted out of an excursion now and then to simply sit in a cafe and people watch?

We are both pretty sociable, but sometimes just like to dial it down. I hope some experienced RS travelers can give me some guidance.

Posted by
2168 posts

That’s fine, as long as you notify your “buddy” and the guide. Punctuality is important, so you just need to be at the bus when it’s time to move locations. You should enjoy doing what you like and no one else will care.

Posted by
8261 posts

This is your trip, and as long as you notify the guide and your "buddy" that you won't be doing an activity, it is not an issue. As mentioned above, it is important to be on time whenever there is a major transition such as the bus leaving or the group heading out to dinner.

Posted by
1792 posts

Everything is optional on RS tours. As mentioned let your tour buddy and guide know you will not be joining the group. I’ve been on many tours and I find there’s plenty of free time to explore and do my own thing. I do sometimes want more days in a particular location. Perhaps my way tours would be appropriate as they are relatively unstructured.

Posted by
111 posts

We have been on several tours and find we need to opt out on occasion. It could be that we want to see something else that day, or it could be our energy level doesn’t match activity or it could be that we just need some personal time. I found as long as you tell the guide and your buddy its no problem. And we try to let them know in advance as possible.

Posted by
296 posts

It is no problem. On a recent RS tour, I wanted to hang at a market and watch the world go by and spend time in a great gathering place. No one cared or was offended. When I take off from the group I always make sure I’m one of the first back to the bus. I don’t want to be “that” person. I am not an analytical so I start to tune out when things start going back to 1200 something to the present day. taking a break keeps the tour fresh for me and to be able to chill in a cafe in a fabulous destination adds a fun dimension to the tour. Another trick we use, sometimes instead of waiting around an hour to meet up, we drop our bags off and we run around to see the neighborhood and usually find a bar. Hahahaha. And then get back in time to meet up for the local orientation and dinner.

Posted by
7129 posts

As others mentioned, it’s completely okay after notifying the guide & your buddy. There has been a pleasant surprise, though, that when we considered opting out of an event during each tour, we didn’t and were glad we didn’t miss it afterwards.

Posted by
6431 posts

See the other current thread, "Free Time on RS Tours," for more examples of this accurate response you're getting from everyone. Keep in mind that RS tours have more free time than many others, ideal for "strolling around doing nothing" if that's your choice. As for the bar after check-in, kudos for your enterprise and dedication! ;-)

Posted by
14811 posts

Opting out is fine as long as it doesn't disrupt the tour. I've done it.

A question....RS tours is the only tour company where the passengers are responsible for making sure their fellow passengers are present.

So what happens if both a passenger and their buddy are slightly late for the bus? Will they be left since no one said they are missing, or does the guide really do a count like all other tour companies? If the guide is doing a count, why keep the "buddy system?"

Posted by
86 posts

Buddy system "failed" on a recent RS tour I was on! Tour member got on the bus and was seen by their buddy, but then decided to go to the toilet one more time. Guide called for a buddy check, and the missing TM's buddy, having seen them on the bus minutes before, assumed all was good. Off we went but an hour down the road, someone noticed the TM was missing. Back we went to the pickup spot and there they were! Fortunately, all was well, no hard feelings.

To address Frank II's questions, IMO, the buddy system works quite well. I think it is used to force the TMs to meet at least one other TM and takes one thing off the guide's things to do. Many (not all) TMs are travelling with another person and that person will also serve as another spotter during buddy checks but in the case I mentioned, TM was travelling solo. To me, it is important, even more so if traveling solo, to do a proper buddy check.

Posted by
86 posts

If travelling with my wife, Mary, is she my buddy?

No, the guides instruct the buddy is to be someone not in your travel group.

Posted by
8261 posts

Another answer to Frank ‘s question. Not a perfect system, but I have also seen others speak up if someone seems to be missing. It takes less than 30 seconds and makes for fast and friendly transitions.

I have had to count students on buses for field trips and it always seems like I have to count twice just to “be sure.” I like the buddy system over counting.

In regards to the example given above, if I were “left” somewhere, I would instantly be on the phone to the guide (they usually give out number in case of emergency). I can’t imagine why the person left didn’t do this……..

Posted by
6431 posts

I think the buddy system works well and speeds up departures, but it would be theoretically possible for two buddies, each traveling solo, to miss the bus because no one else noticed their absence. My theory of buddy selection has two parts: (1) if possible, choose the tallest baldest guy in the group because he's easiest to spot, and (2) choose someone who's traveling with another person, to reduce the risk of you both being left behind. Your tall bald buddy's travel companion will have her own buddy to notice their (and ultimately your) absence. I've never had to test this theory, but I offer it here as a public service.

Posted by
13809 posts

I think the buddy system works only if the guide explains the system and makes sure every tour member understands it. On my last tour there were many tour newbies. The guide did not explain the system, just had people choose buddies. One guy didn't understand who his buddy was (I saw him walk over to another tour member and say I'm your buddy), or what the role of a "buddy" was and TBH never "got" it the whole time consequently the group went off and left his buddy who'd gotten turned around leaving the hotel for a day trip. After that 2 of us always looked to see if the other solo person was there.

Since I am a solo traveler I always try to be back to the bus before time. And Dick your suggestions are good. I do try to choose one half of a couple just because they will usually look for "both" buddies.

To the OP, I agree with everyone else. Just let the guide and the buddy know. I usually tell the guide early on in the tour that there will be times I'm going off on my own but will let them know at the time that I'm headed off. I did that several times on my last tour as I'd been to several of the locations and wanted to see some things other than what would be on the tour agenda. It worked well except for the times the guide changed meetup locations and times AFTER I'd departed the group. I believe this to be unusual as I'd never had a guide make changes midstream (for no apparent reason) before. Do verify the meet up location and time before you head off. IF the guide seems to be prone to change their minds, have them text you if there is a change of plan.

Posted by
3961 posts

I think Dick’s PSA is a good idea! As mentioned up thread the buddy system is not “perfect” but with a few tweaks it can work. I recall our first RS Tour. One of the tour members opted out of activities at least 75 percent of the time. She informed the guide and always returned to the group on time. We took a tour with another company that didn’t have a buddy system. We had lunch at a restaurant and used the restroom after lunch. When we came out the group had left. They rushed off to the next activity. Fortunately we knew that activity was just a 10 minute walk & we met up. The guide never apologized, which was disconcerting.

Edited to add: @Pam, thanks for your helpful suggestions!

Posted by
665 posts

We’ve been on nine RS Tours, always had the guide explain the Buddy System, in fact it’s been more like an ice breaker during the informational meeting. That being said, there have been a couple of tours with hiccups because of people who felt they didn’t need to comply. And there been hiccups because we’ve had to wait because people were late such as missing the ferry to the Aran Islands. I’m sure the guides do the best they can, they are dealing with all types of people.

Posted by
1573 posts

"In regards to the example given above, if I were “left” somewhere, I would instantly be on the phone to the guide (they usually give out number in case of emergency). I can’t imagine why the person left didn’t do this…….."

I do not carry a phone with me when not in the US because my phone company has a lousy (read expensive) international plan.

Posted by
14811 posts

As a former tour director, I can tell you that I was able to do a count faster than the buddy system. How do I know?...I've taken three RS tours and for fun did a head count the way I used to when operating tours. Every time, I was done way before everone reported they saw their buddy.

When you do it a few times a day, it's not necessary to do counts slowly and more than once. In fact, in most cases the count was done before everyone was seated.

No one gets left.

Posted by
2168 posts

Frank, I know for all your posting that you would be an excellent and conscientious guide. However, we had a tour with another small-group tour where guide counting was the only method and the guide on the bus apparently did not count correctly and someone was almost left behind. Fortunately, other tours members noticed them chasing and waving and the bus stopped.

Posted by
181 posts

On my Best of England trip last September, we were at a massive cathedral. Because it was during the official mourning period for the Queen, we were not allowed to have a tour guide accompany us or lead a tour inside the cathedral. My understanding was that we were to meet up at one of the corridors in the Cathedral before doing the long trek to the bus.

I waited at that corridor, and wondered why everyone else on the tour was so tardy. All those corridors looked alike and I was obviously at the wrong one. In the meantime, my “buddy” swore she saw me in my blue rain coat (there were 2 people in blue raincoats). Everybody was back at the bus, and my brother and SIL brought it to the tour guide’s attention that I wasn’t there. My buddy CONTINUED to insist she saw me. SIL ran all the way back and found me.

The tour guide made a new rule….tour members have to make meaningful eye contact with their buddy. After that there were many people on the tour that gazed intently in my eyes during the buddy check.

Posted by
3961 posts

As the saying goes, “There are 8 million stories in the naked city.” I recall one evening, a tour member didn’t show up at a meeting spot. No one had any idea what happened. Come to find out the fellow decided to take a taxi back to the hotel, but didn’t inform his buddy or guide.
I thought of another incident years ago. A tour company that didn’t have the buddy system. There was a couple. The wife would “wonder off” on our walking tours. Come to find out she had a memory deficit. I can understand the challenges of a tour guide.

Posted by
14811 posts

There is no perfect system but I know if I'm spending thousands of dollars for a tour, why am I responsible for another tour member? Shouldn't that be the responsibility of the tour director?

Posted by
8 posts

Many thanks to the many RS tour veterans who reassured me about opting put a couple of times. This thread has turned into a buddy discussion. The buddy system sounds like a good idea to me, I guess after May I'll know.

Posted by
7129 posts

Back to your topic, the guide usually posts an agenda each day, so you could remind both the guide & your buddy ahead of time. I will be planning something in the middle of my next trip, so I thought I would tell my guide & buddy the day before and then also that morning.

Posted by
58 posts

I think the tours are pretty flexible as long as you let the guide know. There have been times on my tours that I didn't want to join the group. I'll never forget my first trip to Venice. We had a dinner that was great and when I went back to my room one the of ladies asked me to go on a walk around Venice. She showed me some of her favorite places and it was magical walking around Venice at night. Such a wonderful memory.

Posted by
709 posts

There's no reason you shouldn't opt out for whatever reason might be appropriate for you. Everyone's already pointed out the necessary considerations you must address first.

Sometimes your spouse or travel partner may not share your desire for alternate plans. My husband tends to be conscious of the cost of the tour and feels we're not getting our "money's worth" if we don't participate in all activities. I'm more likely to have an alternative in mind. Many times he's been right and I was glad I acquiesced. I was going to skip a cooking class but instead participated and discovered I really enjoyed it. I've used what I learned when we returned home. There are some museums of course that I cannot and will not miss.