Where to stay- Amsterdam or Haarlem?

If you're looking for nightlife, then Amsterdam is the place you want to be. After 6pm Haarlem is very quiet. There are lots of hotels in Amsterdam away from the partying, especially the ones along the canals. You have to be on-guard a little bit passing through the Red Light District, but the rest of the city center is no more dangerous than any other city. As long as you wear your money belt, all is good.

Amsterdam, along the canals. The canal side roads are narrow and tight, so very little through traffic. I did not feel uncomfortable in Amsterdam; seemed safe to me. Obviously if you seek out certain areas after dark (red light district?) you are taking a chance. And there is a lot to do and a wide choice of restaurants

You left out a critical criteria: which is more important to you, money or time? Hotels in Amsterdam tend to be expensive. But the advantage you get with sleeping there is that you're right in Amsterdam when you step out your door. Lodging is less expensive in Haarlem, but you'll need to zip to/from Amsterdam every day. It's not a long ways, but you won't be able to pop back to your hotel room if you want to (when we were there, for a couple of days, it rained really hard all day - torrential downpours - and I'm from Seattle so I don't even notice a little rain; we were glad to be able to go back to our room a couple times to dry off/change/recharge). If you're on a tight budget, Haarlem might be your best bet. But if you don't mind spending a bit more for convenience, I'd stay in the city. We loved staying in Rick's recommended Jordaan district - quiet, close, quaint, wonderful. But not cheap. We thought it was well worth it.

Thank you all for your responses. To answer the time/money question, I would say time is more important, within reason. I would like the room to be 150 euros, that seems easy to do in either city.

We stayed in Rick's recommended Hotel Brouwer, and absolutely loved it. Would stay there again in a heartbeat. If you want to try for it, book ASAP - it books up quickly, far in advance of the busy season.

I would stay in Amsterdam as there is a lot of places to visit. I did take a trip to Haarlem and the entire center square had a carnival going on which ruined Haarlem for me.

Stay in Amsterdam. Reserve soon - both the lodging and popular places to visit. Be sensible about night time activities and you'll be fine in Amsterdam. Our only regret was not staying longer.

We had both an apartment in Amsterdam for a week in a lovely section of the town near a park and also went to Haarlem for several nights. We often say that had we to do it over again we would stay in Haarlem for the entire trip. It's quiet, cozy, and utterly charming. A short train ride takes you to Amsterdam, with its beautiful canals, its great art museum, but also its noise, bustle, and hordes of young male tourists beside themselves with glee at Amsterdam's liberal sex policies.

another vote for Hotel Brouwer - if you can get a room book it! so charming. In Haarlem we stayed at a B&B attached to Hotel Amadaeus. Nice - right on square but rooms were loud as you heard the market set up in the AM.

We loved Haarlem - it is like a mini Amsterdam. Great restaurants. Charming and nice to be out of the hustle/bustle of the big city. Easy 15 minute train ride to Amsterdam.

Thank you everyone for your opinions. We decided to stay in Amsterdam because we like the idea to go back to the hotel for a break.