Help Needed with Wrangling Relatives in Wiesbaden

If aunt really doesn't want to sight-see, why not let her babysit with the kids (I'm thinking these are her grandkids?) while you and cousin do a few day or afternoon trips. It's been a while since I was in Wiesbaden but I remember it as a pretty little city with a nice little altstadt, kurhaus, and park. You might not travel from the US just to go there, but since you are right there anyway, it's worth visiting. There are lots of interesting things to see in the surrounding area without getting too far from her home.

If aunt wants to go, but just doesn't want to walk, how about a Rhine cruise? It's easy to do from Wiesbaden, and all she has to do is sit. You could get off at St. Goar, take the little trolley to the castle ruins up the hill, have lunch up there at the restaurant, and enjoy the view.

You might also ask your cousin to check into tours to surrounding areas run by the USO on base. I don't know, but I think they may have some that are family-friendly.

Your aunt may be perfectly happy seeing Germany from a train and tour buses. She could eat at a few restaurants, and either marvel or complain about the different food. Thousands of Americans love that kind of trip. You are her tour guide for this, and need to make her happy. But she needs to recognize your needs as well.

A lot depends on your cousin. Does she just want to visit with your aunt, or does she want to get out and about? You could do a few easy day sightseeing trips with the crew, then take off on your own for a few days. If you don't get away alone, you may end up resentful. Have a frank conversation with her, and tell her you don't want to ruin her trip by making her walk all over and back, so what can you both do to compromise?

Maybe you could show her some of the things you want to do, saying, "...and then we'll walk up the big hill to the castle and take the 3 hour tour up and down the steps of the castle, then walk back to the train..."

As DD noted, check with the USO. They run tours designed for people who might be too timid to explore on their own.

Sounds like this won´t be a best of Germany´ tour, so concentrate on cities and towns around Wiesbaden. You may want to try enticing your aunt with visuals. Your best bet may be with a guidebook that covers the area and has plenty of pictures, like the Eyewitness Guide. Also, for some nice aerial shots of this part of Germany, check out the Rhineland edition of the DVD seriesVisions of Germany´.

At least you are near one of the favored areas of Germany once you resolve your family issues:

http://www.welterbe-mittelrheintal.de/index.php?id=318&L=3

Trains run hourly both sides of the Rhine, though a car would be handier if your cousin has one.

Regards, Gary

Those bland pieces of Americana when revealed as US bases in Germany are exactly as described: pretty bland...I saw one of them 30 years ago. Who is paying for the trip is immaterial...you should work out a contingency plan for day trips to Frankfurt, Mainz, Wiesbaden, or, if you're interested in science, go to Wetzlar.

I'm sure your aunt has no desire to ruin your trip for you. Why don't you sit down with her before you go, talk about the things you want to see and do, and see what she might be interested in. If you work it all out ahead of time, odds are you won't have any problems once you're over there. I predict she'll surprise you in a positive way.

Actually I agree that who is paying DOES make a difference, also, what is age of poster .If she is a 16 or 17 yr old who lives with aunt( who is like a mother) she may not be allowed to just make her own plans and take off and do them.

Kt, if you are over 17 ,, and have contributed to trip, then I suggest you make some plans of stuff to do own your own. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink,, remember that, and do what you can to carve out some time for you to have fun.

As for your aunt, she may in fact enjoy doing nothing much but visiting with her grandkids and thats it, there are other people just like her,, on this forum ( and other travel forums) we forget some people really do not like travel, ( weird to us, but true) and its not up to us to change them.. LOL

I had sort of a similar trip once with my mother in law, but there was an important difference--I knew, going into it, that this wasn't my vacation. It was a trip to take the MIL to various sites around Germany where she'd lived (including on your base) and to where she has a baby buried. She paid for most everything. We did some sightseeing but she has a hard time getting around, so it was limited. But that was okay, because I wasn't paying for it, she was over the top with gratitude for taking her, and because I had the mindset, this isn't my vacation. But it sounds like this IS your vacation.

Your story definitely shows the importance about thinking about travel partner compatability before the trip! I think your best bet now is to conspire with your cousin to see if you two can use your aunt as a sitter and get away on your own. Perhaps you could plan some other day trips too, and let your aunt know how excited you are to do them, then let her opt our if she wants. You can take the car and do your own sightseeing. And there will inevitably also be days when you are stuck doing things you'd rather not be doing, and you can chalk it up to a learning experience, and vow to only travel with like-minded people in the future.

Good luck!

Pat and Christy have very valid points. Eleven days is not that long, particularly if this includes your travel days, so you can be accomodating for this short time. You will probably not get to do as much as you would like to do, but use your time to get ideas and plan a return visit. Talking honestly w/ your aunt before the trip is essential. If she doesn't give you any opinions about what she might want to see/do, then talk with your cousin about possibilities because she will have to arrange childcare or organize taking her two little people w/ you. From what you've said, I don't think your aunt will want to babysit more than perhaps a few hours.

A couple of questions for you. You say your aunt dislikes walking. Is it because she is aged, or physically challenged, or just because she is used to driving everywhere. This can make a difference to your plans.

Are you sure that your cousin wants to come with you on all of your trips? This can be exhausting with a baby and a toddler. Perhaps you can ride the trains up the Rhine without them? Or do a day trip to Mainz or Frankfurt? Using the trains is very cheap and efficient, so perhaps your cousin would be relieved to know that she doesn't have to schlep along with you for 11 days in a row. She might feel like she "has" to do this.

If you take a trip to Frankurt, perhaps your aunt can ride one of the tour buses around while you do a walking tour or explore on your own?

Does she like museums or churches or history? What hobbies does she have? Maybe you can appeal to her with certain sites. For some, it can be religious sites, for others Romans or castles, or art and architecture.

Perhaps she would be happy visiting a museum while you walk around the various cities. Does she like to shop? What about gardening? The Palmengarten in Frankfurt is gorgeous and this might even be a spot that the toddler would enjoy, as there is a large playground and water play here.

It does look like the two of you need to sit down and talk about each others expectations for this trip.