Family of 13, possible Ireland itinerary

My first thought is that to get from the Cliffs area to the Kylemore Abbey area, driving there by the quickest route, it will take somewhere close to four hours with no stops and you will miss the best of Connemara getting there. You haven't given us any idea of how long the Ireland part of your trip will be, so it's hard to judge your priorities or timing. At what point (and for how long) is your family visit? Where will you be in the two counties you mention? Driving yourselves would give you a bit more flexibility, but you will pay an additional charge for each person who intends to drive (an extra driver is not free like it is here).

We plan on 6-7 nights total in Ireland, with an entire day in both Sligo and Donegal. Since we'll be fighting jet lag, we will spent the night somewhere between Cliffs of Moher and Doolin.

The Cliffs of Moher and Doolin are only 30 minutes or so apart. On our first day in Ireland (our first trip), we went first to Bunratty castle and folk park, had lunch at the little shopping center across the road, then checked into our B&B in Liscannor (five minutes from the Cliffs). We then drove to Doolin for dinner. We saw the Cliffs the next morning.

As for "fighting jet lag", it has never bothered us. We just try to stay outside and active that first day, stay up as late as possible the first night, and hit the ground running the next day. The Cliffs are only an hour or so from the airport, and you might spend an hour or so there. With only a few days, I wouldn't want to waste the whole first day doing only that, or not getting farther the first day before stopping for the night.