Passes recommended if using private car transfers between cities?

I should probably get a commission from these guys but I think they are genuine and helpful. You can watch their (many) vlogs on the intricacies of Swiss passes or even pay them for personalized advice. They can probably help with cars as well.

https://aplinsinthealps.com/guides/

Thank you!
I have seen all their stuff and purchased their plans, they are amazing !
BUT I have not found anything that talks about passes if you are doing private transfer to a city.
I imagine the cost verses savings changes with each pass if you don’t need them between cities!?!

If you are getting passes anyway maybe helping your husband getting over his train anxiety is better. After all, you won't be able to avoid public transports anyway. And going by car from Mürren to Zermatt will involve several trains no matter what.

Have you priced the private car transfers already?

are you and your husband aware that no cars, not even private drivers, can drive to Zermatt or Wengen or Mürren? That to reach Mürren from Lauterbrunnen it is either a cable car and train or bus and cable car? To reach Wengen it is a train? And to get to Zermatt, the closest a car can get is the town of Täsch from where you must get a train?

The most beautiful way to get between Interlaken and Luzern is by the train over the Brünig Pass, and past mountain lakes.

It sounds like your husband's anxiety is about connections and changing trains. I wonder if allowing an extra half hour between trains would mean no rushing and plenty of time to board. Might that help, maybe with a bit of assistance from the college age kids? I don't understand if the college age kids share their father's anxiety?

If you are going to stay with car transfers as much as possible, would a rental car wind up cheaper than all those drivers? Driving in Switzerland has its own set of rules, but they're not complicated and most Swiss roads are in very good condition.

It is hard to answer what passes without knowing more details of your itinerary, but the BO Pass covers more of your destinations, including your six-night stay in Kandersteg. Since that's quite a bit of time to spend in this village, you'll likely want to explore the surrounding area.

Here’s the tourism website for Adelboden–Lenk–Kandersteg. The region offers plenty of excellent hiking trails and other activities. Aside from Oeschinensee, these areas tend to be much less crowded than the Lauterbrunnen Valley - I think you will enjoy it!

https://adelboden-lenk-kandersteg.ch/en/

There is no need to be anxious about changing trains. Swiss stations are built for quick transfers. And trains run every half hour.

Paying someone to drive you from city to city in Switzerland is not going to be cheap, have you checked what it would cost? Personally I wouldn't be surprised if the total car transfer cost ends up being several thousand francs. You can probably buy train tickets and send your husband to a therapist and still end up with a lower total cost.

But what is your husbands problem? People change train all the time in Switzerland without problems. As long as you can carry your luggage yourself, I can't see why it would be a problem.

Hopefully helpful suggestion: why not put the kids in charge of transport? I’m assuming that most young folks are tech savvy and with the app in hand, train travel could not be easier. If you pack reasonably, there is nothing to be concerned about. This is one place where I looked forward to the public transport!

Thank you to those who had kind advice.
And shame on those who chose to attack my husbands mental health. You need to remember that you never know what someone else lives had been like and what they are going through.
I am doing my best to help my husband enjoy this trip. And yes he is in therapy.

I answered your private message in regards to this question.

Sometimes when it comes to anxiety, knowledge can be power and perhaps watching some YouTube videos of Swiss trains and how they work, maybe having him read my private message with how it all works and hearing from many experts that the "worst case scenario" is that you just take the next train connection without any financial loss could maybe go some slight way towards a workable plan amidst anxiety. If the unknown fuels anxiety or the thought that messing up could have bad consequences causes anxiety, we can speak to each specific sticking point instead of it feeling like a big insurmountable issue.

Here are some videos that might help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugnaq5PNofU&t=170s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9juJ6ZVaUU&t=29s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbPpZ-AM0No
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtVY7L4qlBQ&t=915s

If I was insensitive to your husbands condition I apologise.

However, in my defense I did not read "anxiety" as referring to a medical condition. I assumed that you had seen that in Switzerland we like to keep transfers short (in other words, efficient) and it is not uncommon for people not familiar with our train system to get a bit anxious about that.
And there is actually no reason to worry about those short connections. They are short on purpose, and planned to work.

For example, the reason the train from Interlaken to Lauterbrunnen leaves at xx:04 and xx:34 is because the IC from Bern arrives at xx:59 and xx:29. If SBB were to change its schedules the BOB would also change theirs to keep the connection short.

I don't see anyone attacking your husbands problems, but many people trying to help you save a lot of money. Train travel is easy, and if you're able to navigate an airport you can handle a railway station. But if you tell us a bit more about the reasons for his anxiety, we might be able to reduce it.

Thank you everyone! I am sorry I got defensive about my husbands anxiety! I have looked at all the advice and did more research AND you were all correct! I cancelled all my private transfers and plan to use the trains! It will save us a TON of money!
I will use that money to buy our Half Fare passes and BO / Jungfrau passes.
Figuring which of those would be best is my next thing to tackle. We will be staying in Kandersteg for 6 days, Murren for 5 days, and Lucrene for 3.

Good to know: None of those passes need to be bought in advance. You can easily get them on arrival. I would suggest just do as the locals do: Get the HFC.
Then get the Berner Oberland Pass, as that covers the Schilthorn, and also the area around Kandersteg, and the trains all the way to Bern. Then just try to get a lot out of your pass.

I often suggest that: Turn the whole thing around. In stead of trying to figure if the pass is good value just get it, and then just use it to the max. There are lots of other cable cars and mountain railways you may not have even thought about. From Kandersteg there are several cable cars, and you can go to Adelboden, and up the Niessen etc...

If you want to do the float from Thun to Bern do make sure to put on a lot of sunscreen :-) It's a great thing to do. But watch what the other boaters do, so you do not miss the exit point in Bern.

(As an aside: I hope they just abolish that card, and halve the ticket prices. Since everyone travels at half price anyway there is actually no point for this complication)/