Berner Oberland vs Zermatt in combo with Chamonix as a family of five

February is prime time for European family ski vacations as there are rolling 1-week Winter school holidays throughout Europe. You might have difficulties unless you book a full week Saturday to Saturday.

As far as destinations go, Zermatt is superior to the Berner Oberland for strong skiers, but the B.O. is perfectly good enough to keep them occupied.

Edit. I will add that if you get the Berner Oberland Ski Pass, it will include use of all the trains in the region all the way to Interlaken. Also if you want to go to the Jungfraujoch, you only have to pay the price from Kleine Scheidegg.

Sam, how do you know all of this???? Impressive!

@Pat, Been there, done that.

we are a family of five and stayed in these apartments in the summer - they fit our budget but not sure how convenient they are for skiing or the price differential for winter high season but you might want to see if they would work for you. We found them through booking.com which has lots of detail re bed and bath configuration that can be important when travelling with kids:

Zermatt "Apartment Richemont 2" (great view of matterhorn and goats)

Wengen "Apt Im Gruebi 1" (close to main town area, mannlichen cable car, and nice view from living room)

Goats in Zermatt are cooped up in the barn in February. You can smell them when you walk by.

For a skiing trip, Lauterbrunnen is not where you should stay - there is usually no snow down there, you have to take the train to the slopes. You should compare Zermatt prices with Wengen or Grindelwald instead. These two villages share a common skiing area which is fairly large, and Grindelwald has its own separate skiing area in addition (south-facing so conditions are not always the best). There are also some slopes in Mürren, more limited in extent but probably a good choice too if you only plan to stay 3-4 days (which might not be easily accepted by apartment owners in peak winter season!).
This being said, the skiing in Zermatt is really excellent for strong skiers. Insane verticals (up to 6,000'+), great variety of slopes, and where else can you ski across a border? You can find non-fancy accommodation, and the town has charm in spite of all the jewelry and watch shops. I spent a week skiing there once but it was around 2012, so where I stayed is probably no longer relevant. It was, however, my best skiing trip ever, and I have been to quite a few places in the French and Swiss Alps.
If you struggle with short-term accommodation in Zermatt, you can have a look at Täsch, a 10-minute train ride down the hill with very frequent shuttle trains.

Appreciate this feedback from everyone - taking notes! Thank you!

Highly recommend Chamonix. We did a european delivery with a car and went to the Alps and skied several of the resorts in the Chamonix valley. It was gorgeous and such an amazing experience. We are Ikon pass holders and are planning to visit Kitzbuhl, Dolomites, and Zermatt this winter.

I strongly suggest you book NOW as affordable lodging options dry up quickly. Europeans tend to book their vacations very early.

Thank you for everyone's help on this thread! We had some major challenges finding accommodation for five people in one rental (vs two hotel rooms, tough with kids) for under seven nights.

We booked:
5 nights in Berner Oberland in Wengen
4 nights in Chamonix, France

One last question if this great forum could help. We will probably get the Swiss Travel Pass as our three children would be free. I see posts in the past that explain that the Swiss Travel Pass works in Chamoix - which is amazing. But I cannot find this proof anywhere. Old posts reference this validity map: https://www.sbb.ch/content/dam/sbb/de/infotexte/uebersichtskarte-sts.pdf.sbbdownload.pdf but to me I see Chamonix as a gray line and not red. Did this recently change? I saw a 2019 map with it as red.

If it did change, do we just use the Swiss Pass until we get to the border crossing at Le Chatelard-Frontiere and buy an onward ticket once we enter France to continue to Chamonix-Mont-Blanc?

Sadly the line to Chamonix is indeed no longer included. You will be able to check the validity map again at the end of the year; there tend to be slight changes form one year to the next.
If Chamonix is still grayed out, it is better to buy the ticket ahead of time because the connection in Vallorcine is too short to do so. I think SBB sells the whole ticket from Chatelard Frontiere to Chamonix. If not, then you can get an e-ticket from Chatelard to Vallorcine on SBB for sure, and an e-ticket from Vallorcine to Chamonix on Oui SNCF (French railways).