Itinerary suggestions for 12 days in southern Spain

Much better diversions than Gibraltar, but this gives you 12 full days (plus arrival/departure days).

Day
1. Arrive Sevilla (4)
2. Sevilla
3. Day to Cordoba
4. Sevilla
5. Early train to Jerez (2)
6. (Pick up car) Day to Arcos or Cadiz
7. Drive via Vejer de la Frontera to Gibraltar (2)
8. Gibraltar
9. Drive to Ronda (2)
10. Day to pueblos blancos
11. Drive to Granada (3)
12. Day to Baeza/Ubeda (Return car)
13. Visit Alhambra
14. Depart Granada

We just returned from 2 weeks in Spain. We did 3 nights in Madrid, took AVE train to Malaga. Rented a car and had an apartment for 7 days in Benalmadena. We did Day trips to Ronda, Malaga, Grenada, Gibraltar, Caminito del Rey. Then took train to Seville for 3 days; train back to Madrid, stopping at Córdoba en route. It was marvelous to work out of 3 locations and not be moving each night.

We just did Southern Spain last fall and I'd agree very much with David's plan of attack.

A couple notes I'd add: Gibraltar is not very exciting -- -- A private tour guide at the Alhambra is worth the money. It's probably the best thing you'll see man made in Southern Spain -- Cordoba for a day is a little bit of a stretch, if pressed for time do a Segway tour there, my 13 year old son loved seeing the city that way and you cover a lot of ground quickly --- Ronda is a hidden gem and a must see, but not for more than 24 hours

With 12 days I would plan on moving bases. One in the west, the other more eastward.

But, since you are at the early planning stage, one option is to select a central apartment as you are considering and hire a car to visit other cities and that central place might be Antequera. From there it is about an hour to 90 minutes drive to Ronda, Malaga, Granada and Cordoba. And about two hours for Sevilla, Gibraltar and Ubeda. Of course I'm ignoring parking time. And you'd be doing a series of day-trips, which wouldn't appeal to all as many of us tourists prefer to stay overnight in the cities we are visiting. But it is possible.

Personally, I'd split your time between Sevilla and Granada, with perhaps a final night in Malaga if the flights onwards from there are better. Your husband is right about visiting Gibraltar, it is a must-see.

I do like David's itinerary. You don't need the car though for Arcos (take the bus) or Cadiz (take the train). Pick up the car when you're ready to go to Gibraltar. It's usually easier/faster to park the car in the lot on the Spanish side and walk across the causeway. I would expect one night there to be enough.