If I can't get to Nerja, will Sitges be a good enough replacement?

I spent a few hours in Sitges and liked it, but Enric would be a better source on the question of whether Sitges is your best bet for a beach-town experience in Catalunya. I thought Cadaques was physically lovelier, but Sitges wins on the museum front and has faster transportation to Barcelona. Cadaques is definitely mot workable as a base for seeing Barcelona.

How many days are you planning to spend in your beach town? There is tons to see in Barcelona, and the city requires more pre-planning/scheduling than most, because the ticket lines at the most popular attractions are so long. I would not want to commute into Barcelona from an outlying town and would definitely not do it if I were not going for the beach experience.

I think you'll be pleased by the opportunities to see Mudejar architecture in Toledo. Look into purchasing the wristband that gives you access to six or seven lovely secondary sights, many with Mudejar interiors and most offering short bilingual tours twice a day. The wristband is active as long as it doesn't fall off, so you can stretch those sites over two days if you want to (and that is advisable if you want to take advantage of the tours).

Thanks so much for your reply. I am very open to doing a beach town/city separate, no more than two nights, since that is what we were going to do in Nerja. So Barcelona for two nights, and two nights somewhere to have, hopefully, paella on the beach!
So I am now thinking: Madrid - 2 nights
Toledo - 2 nights (or maybe 3 nights Madrid, 1 Toledo?)
San Sebastian - 3 nights
Barcelona - 2 nights
?? Beachside city/town - 2 nights

Thank you again!

Have you checked the travel time to and from San Sebastian? It is substantial, especially for the SS-Catalunya leg. Two nights in Barcelona when coming in from SS will be not much more than a day in Barcelona. That would be extraordinarily painful for me. But it all depends on what sights you're interested in, the same as with the Madrid/Toledo time distribution.

I'd suggest going straight to Toledo when you arrive. It won't cost a penny extra to buy that ticket at the last minute. Get a round-trip, because it will probably be about the same price as a one-way. This will be a good use of part of your arrival day (aka Jetlag Day). Toledo is a laid-back place for that first day, as long as you stay away from the stretch between Zocodover Square and the cathedral.
See Madrid after Toledo, which will shorten and simplify your onward journey to San Sebastiam.

Thank you, acraven.

So we will be coming in from Munich, which helps with the jetlag. No, I have not looked up the train times fully. I think it was 5.5 hours Madrid-SS and 6 hours SS-Barcelona? Something like that. That is not ideal at all, but I do kind of enjoy European trains, and at least it takes you to city center, I am hoping? So we could leave SS around 10 and arrive Barcelona around 4, just in time to check into new hotel? That was my thinking, anyway. Excellent suggestion to start in sleepy Toledo first! Should I just stay in Toledo and side trip to Madrid a couple days? Or vice versa? I read that staying the night is important in Toledo, and I really try not to do one nighters.

Or maybe to eliminate two long train rides, fly Munich-Bilbao (I am assuming is airport for SS, but it does to be more expensive option for flights, but not too much) Then do SS for three nights. Long train to Madrid en route to Toledo. Toledo 2 nights. Madrid 2 nights. Madrid to Barcelona en route to Sitges (or some other coastal town for that paella on the beach experience) for 2 nights, then train to Barcelona for 2 nights (extremely short train ride, I think) and fly home to USA from Barcelona? Maybe try to up it a night to 3, if I can get time off work? Hey, just thinking now, I know Barcelona has a beach promenade area, right? Can I get that experience of coastal Spain just going to the beach and staying in Barcelona 4 nights instead, I wonder? Or maybe San Sebastian would cover that? Thanks again!

With my friend in Barcelona we have a ritual that on every visit we head to Sitges for lunch at least. We usually spend the afternoon wandering, shopping, enjoying the atmosphere and the memories.

Madrid - 2 nights
Late train to Toledo - 2 nights
Train to Madrid Barajas then late flight to San Sebastian - 3 nights
Fly to Barcelona, then transfer to Sitges - 2 nights
Train to Barcelona - 2 nights

I think it's a great idea to fly from Munich straight to the Basque Country, thereby avoiding one of the long rail trips. Bilbao has the larger airport, but there's one in San Sebastian, too. Have no idea whether there's any direct service from Munich. If taking that approach costs you 3 or 4 extra hours compared to flying into either Madrid or Barcelona, it pretty much negates the value of eliminating the train trip to the Basque Country.

I definitely do not like a long string of 2-night stops, because you don't get comfortable before you have to move on, so combining Barcrlona and a beach town into one stay would be one solution. It's just that there is vastly more to do in Barcelona than in Sitges. I don't remember the timing of your trip, but if it's not in peak season, I wonder whether Sitges might be sort of quiet if you're there on weeknights. I really don't kmow; I'm just speculating.

I hope you won't be disappointed in the paella situation. It is a Valencian specialty, not native to Barcelona/Sitges, and I think it is easy to end up with something that was not prepared in the restaurant where you're eating it. This is definitely worth doing advance research on, so you know the best place to go. I actually saw paella being cooked on the spot at some markets in southern France last year, but I never tried it.

When are you traveling? If it's summer (roughly June to August), remember the Basque country is famous for its beaches at that time. At other times, however, it's more famous for its rain, so you won't be going to beaches much in this area. I was there in mid-May and had great weather, and people were definitely using the beaches; however, locals made it clear this was not to be counted on at that time.

If you will be there during the summer, San Sebastian has its own lovely (but I assume mobbed, in season) beaches. You can take local buses to other towns like Getaria, Hondarribia, Zarautz, and Lekeitio.

Actually is a funny thing re:paella.... it seems the "best" restaurants serving paella are not in Valencia but here in Catalonia :) -not my saying but a recent ranking by a world-famous organisation. Anyhow, I shall point out Ann that, EXCEPT for those restaurants advertising something called "Paella d'Or" -normally in big letters on outside blackboards- which is a horrendous frozen paella that is reheated in a microwave (stay away from this product!), the rest of the restaurants do make the paella on site -actually, there's no other way if you want a decent paella.

Worth mentioning that Thursday is the day in which many restaurants offering menu-del-dia at lunchtime here in Catalonia include paella --a historical tradition from decades ago :). These are made from scratch when the kitchen opens (normally around 1 or 1:30pm) and it's served to customers that come later for lunch. When the paella is "ordered", that is, not part of a menu-del-dia -btw, many restaurants offer a paella only if ordered for two people minimum- then you can be sure is made on the spot (hence the reason it takes around half an hour to be served). Again, these are the most common scenarios but again when it comes to paella in restaurants, I am sure you can also find other cases.

Also worth mentioning that rice ('arròs' in Catalan) has been an important ingredient in our cuisine here in Catalonia since ancient times. In fact, we're producers and exporters of rice with two major areas: the delta of the Ebre river and the area around the town of Pals which has been cultivating rice since the 15th century. The varieties grown locally are bahia, bomba, montsianell, sénia, tebre, marisma and the well-known carneroli and nembo.

The appetite for this grain in Catalonia has resulted in a number of dishes, in which rice is the main ingredient, in our traditional cuisine. Paella is only one of them but among other, one can taste arròs negre, mar i muntanya, arròs caldós... and quite a few more. For those curious, here a sample of them: http://www.cuina.cat/menus/arrossos_30079_117.html I know "paella" is the one with more cloud abroad, but don't get stuck in that one... you'll discover other great dishes with rice here in Catalonia. I personally recommend arròs negre (black rice), but again, it's just me: http://www.barcelona-metropolitan.com/eating-and-drinking/recipe-arrs-negre/

Important to notice as well that for nearly 700 years, the territories of Catalonia, Valencia, Balearic Islands and Aragon formed a sort of confederation and the commerce and cultural exchanges between them was very important. So much so that, for example, the local languages spoken in each one are related, variations of a common one, Catalan. These exchanges arrived as well to the respective cuisines and there are a lot of "similar" dishes spread across the different parts of this former confederation.

As per where to go for a good rice base dish, be paella or any of the others, I would suggest a few names here in Barcelona: Xiringuito de l'Escribà, 7 Portes, Xàtiva, La Mar Salada or Mont Bar as my favourites but there are a bunch (https://www.timeout.com/barcelona/restaurants/barcelonas-best-paellas-the-rice-stuff)