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Family Driving from Bilbao to La Cala de Mijas, tips please!

We are hoping to drive down to the Malaga area this summer. Which is the better route? We can take a ferry from either Plymouth or Portsmouth to Santander or Bilbao. Which is the most economical? Better to drive thru France? Also is it reasonable to drive in July temperatures to Madrid and stay overnight and drive on the next day. Bearing in mind I have a teenage son who has Aspergers and hates traffic jams and a ten year old daughter whom I have to keep separate, is there somewhere nice but reasonably priced to stay on route? Or should I forget the whole thing and fly?! I will be down in Spain for three weeks and found the flights expensive this year and would like to have my car! Any thoughts, tips or advice greatly received. Thanks in advance.

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