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How to start speaking English to Dutch people?

I'm sure there's not a perfect answer here, but I feel awkward when I start speaking English to Dutch people. Even though such a high percentage of the Dutch speak English, it feels rude to just start babbling in at the Dutch in English without asking first.

I mentioned this to my buddy who is married to a Dutch woman and who lived in the Netherlands for a long time. His response was exactly what I've experienced about half the time: "if you ask 'is English okay?,' you'll get that brusk Dutch 'of course'."

The Dutch, of course :), are direct people, and the bit of annoyance doesn't really mean much. Probably I should not ask, but it feels so ugly American. I was at a rural supermarket in German shopping and a very Texas-ish American couple was at the bakery counter: "give us three of those heated up and can you put them in a bag!" Blank stare from girl working there. Loudly repeating of same thing. Me sidling up "entschuldigung, sprechen sie englisch?" Girl indicates no. I let couple know that this German person speaks - wait for it - German. Whole thing mortifying and so rude!

I really don't want to be rude! But I don't want to be demeaning or clueless either.

I've tried quicker and more casual than "do you speak English?" "English okay?" "English yes?" Both better than the full do you speak English but still some blow back.

So what's the best practice? Just start in English and don't worry that it's rude? Pop out a quick English yes? and ignore the sometimes annoyed response? Dress head to toe in Orange and learn Dutch fluently to communicate goodwill? Other?

Thanks

Posted by
3938 posts

It is hard because many of us don’t speak the language with all of the intimidating vowels and many Dutch people speak English so flawlessly. I was in Amsterdam a few years ago and accidentally bumped into a man who was walking quickly. I realized that I didn’t have a word in his language to respond to the situation. I know what to say in Italian, Spanish, French and German and all of those responses ran through my head and got rejected. I said Sorry and then asked him how to convey the message in Dutch. He looked at me, smiled and said we say Sorry. My Dutch lesson wasn’t expanded on that day.

Posted by
8377 posts

Hank. Just learn the Dutch phrase for "do you speak English?" That and "please" and "thank you" in Dutch will go a long way.

Posted by
13809 posts

Depending on the situation, I will usually say something like "*Sorry, I do not speak Dutch. May I speak English?" Or if it's with younger people, Sorry, no Dutch and English?

I try not to start speaking in English wherever I am that is not an English speaking country. I can limp along with polite phrases in France but having no Dutch I am limited to "Dank u wel" and "Alstublieft".

Posted by
7453 posts

If it is a bartender, waitstaff, hotel clerk, salesperson; then I have learned to just ask something politely in English. The number of people in the tourism/service industry in the Netherlands that cannot speak at least some English is so small, that the number that cannot speak Dutch is probably higher. I have learned that in those cases if I start out with "excuse me, do you speak English?"; like you, I get a curt "well, of course" (and what I imagine is a silent "idiot!"). I also get the idea that it would be far worse to attempt some greeting or question in Dutch, that would result in a grammar lesson at best, probably something worse. I might at most toss out a "hello" or "Hi", that effectively communicates my American accent, and in Dutch it is essentially the same (Hallo), so not much offense.

If it is the random person in the street, or next to me in a bar, then I do usually start by asking if they speak English after a greeting, or at least try to remember to speak simply and slower/clearer than I do at home, or ask what language they speak.

But yeah, each visit, I encounter that Dutch directness, Germany can be similar to a lesser degree; it does not bother me, I tend to be direct as well, but yeah, I can see how it rattles some Americans.

Posted by
755 posts

What I have found whenever I am not in an English first country, is a simple “Do you speak English?” Nobody has ever seemed offended by that.

Posted by
1218 posts

Yes, we Dutch can be direct and as a result we can easily get impatient with people who are not. So the best way to deal with waiters, hotel staff, museum staff or random people on the streets is to try and be direct too. A quick “can I speak English?” or “Is it okay if I speak English?” should be followed immediately by your question.

When you ask me for directions in the street, I don’t want to know why you want to go to the particular museum you want directions to. I don’t need to know that you planned to learn some basic Dutch before your holiday but didn’t got around to do it because you had to take care of your great uncle’s cat. I don’t want to know how you were surprised that we don’t walk around in wooden shoes on a daily basis etc etc.
In fact your very extended opening post is a perfect example of what you should not do. Just the last paragraph would have sufficed for a Dutch person :-)

We may not always come across as helpful, but in general the Dutch are very helpful. We just don’t want to listen to you telling your life history before you ask your question. Just say “hello, excuse me” , ask your questions and then be silent so the other person can answer you.

Posted by
1742 posts

Dutch traveler thanks, I was hoping to hear from a Dutch person.

I'm going to highlight the distinction you made: "is it okay if I speak English?" not "do you speak English?" So I ask about what I'm going to do, not what the Dutch person's abilities are. I think it's harder for a Dutch person to be annoyed at the first.

Thanks!

As for writing a bit, that's just me. I have three degrees in English literature and creative writing, and I like to write, and I like to read. I like details, and asides, and drifting thoughts. I like Henry Miller, Marcel Proust, and Virginia Woolf. So the Dutch are just going to have to put up with me ;)

Regarding the above comment about learning some basic phrases in Dutch, I know them already. In the early '90s I spent months and months in Amsterdam. English was less universal in the Netherlands at that point.

I always use basic polite native language phrases in other European countries! But in today's Netherlands when I do that in Dutch It feels some combination of obsequious and out of touch, and as Dutch traveler notes most Dutch people expect you to get right onto it and aren't interested in being impressed at how polite you are.

And then once I start speaking in English with a Dutch person, It feels weird to whip out Dutch phrases to say thank you or goodbye or whatever. Usually the other person's English is fantastic and breaking out poorly pronounced Dutch phrases feels like I'm just trying to impress them like some sort of bowing with swirling hand flourishes.

I do like hoi though, but just because it's fun to say! It feels like you're saying ahoy, very seafaring and sporty!

I know you've stopped reading by now Dutch Traveler and have clumped off to harvest tulips in your wooden shoes but thanks again 👍

Posted by
1117 posts

I know you've stopped reading by now Dutch Traveler and have clumped
off to harvest tulips in your wooden shoes but thanks again 👍

Brilliant!

Posted by
6265 posts

I know you've stopped reading by now Dutch Traveler and have clumped off to harvest tulips in your wooden shoes but thanks again

Hank, thanks for the laugh.

The first time we knew we were going to the Netherlands, we spent hours with the Pimsleur Dutch disks, wanting to be polite and respectful guests. Our first excursion was to a recommended bakery. I approached the counter timidly, and asked "Pardon, meneer, spreekt u Engels?"

And the baker responded, in a good humor and flawless English: "Of course; doesn't everyone?"

And almost everyone did. We did meet one fellow who, seeing us getting frustrated with a map, tried to give us directions. Unfortunately, his English was only marginally better than our hopeful but inadequate Dutch.

And we had a wonderful time there, and have returned several times, mostly on, before, and after Rick Steves tours. We hope to spend a week in the Netherlands in October; we spent a week in Leiden a few years ago, and loved it.

Dank u wel!

Posted by
1742 posts

Thanks Jane! Fun story.

I do break out the dank u wel regularly - no matter how universal English is I can't stand to not say thank you in the native tongue.

Posted by
6265 posts

Hank, I made a slight edit. I forgot to include "meneer (sir)"

We're actually planning to spend just a little time (2 nights) in Amsterdam very shortly, so we've pulled out the Pimsleur disks again! I know we won't need the language, but at least we know "alstublieft," "dank u wel," "pardon," and "graag gadan."

And I'm always a bit skeptical when people say, "Oh, you don't need to learn the language; everyone there speaks English!" Well, perhaps, but the signs don't. The signs that tell what the store sells, "In" and "out" on doors, or "push" and "pull." Or "cash only" or "no vacancy" ... the list goes on.

Posted by
1218 posts

“ I'm going to highlight the distinction you made: "is it okay if I speak English?" not "do you speak English?" So I ask about what I'm going to do, not what the Dutch person's abilities are. I think it's harder for a Dutch person to be annoyed at the first.”

Indeed, no Dutch person is going to be annoyed if you ask “Is it okay if I speak English?” When you phrase it like that, the emphasis is on you.
Asking the question “do you speak English” can be interpreted as you questioning their ability to understand and reply you.
My guess is that the people who received a curt reply phrased the question like “do you speak English”. Questioning a person’s ability to understand you is never a good way to start a conversation. Not just in the Netherlands, but everywhere in the world.

Posted by
747 posts

Having been all over the world and in countries with many different languages even within the same country, I do not worry at all about speaking to anyone in English. Many times it is obvious that I am not of the region or country or race. So it is a given that I do not know the language. English is the world’s language. I am not sorry for that. I am glad that it is so and that I can go forward with my native tongue almost anywhere.
Many times I have encountered people of different nationalities traveling together who have to use English as their common language in order to understand each other. A boyfriend and girlfriend, she Dutch, he Polish, speaking English on the train. Such things are not uncommon.
So, to address the OP question, you simply speak in English to the Dutch person. Maybe you state a simple greeting you learned in Dutch, but beyond that you ask you question and they will either understand you or not and it will become obvious if you will have to draw on an alternative way of communicating.
You don’t have to dance around and feel awkward. Try a smile.

Posted by
1117 posts

I used to attend meetings of all international distributors for a U.S. Manufacturer that I worked for. I remember the German distributor saying: "Sometimes it is easier for everyone to just speak English, because then everyone knows the same fifty words."

Still, I try to at least be cordial and use a local polite phrase (if I know it) and not presume anything. If that is bothersome, we'll probably all get over it and get on our ways.

Posted by
1742 posts

Treemoss it certainly is handy that English has become more and more the de facto global common language. It's an interesting POV not feeling guilty about.

I often find myself apologizing for being close to monoglot (I used to have rudimentary but functional Spanish, which is faded over time). More and more often second language English speakers will reply something like "no worries, If English was my first language I I also wouldn't speak anything else."

To be clear, I don't feel at all like English is somehow naturally better or has some sort of value-based premacy over other languages. And I realize it's not exactly just happenstance that propelled English to its current position. But in the end it is what it is, and I feel lucky enough to have been born into a very globally useful language.

Posted by
14482 posts

I was in Holland the last time in 2017, ie, doing a day trip from Düsseldorf to Utrecht and Doorn., Had to talk with locals regarding directions, buying train and bus tickets and food in the Utrecht train station. Communicating with the Dutch, it's in English, no preface, I go right into English, which naturally, they all spoke well.

In Germany I automatically use German in all transactions, regardless of the site, bakery, coffee shop, pharmacy, etc.

Posted by
456 posts

I make an attempt at the language of the country I am visiting at the start of a conversation, whether that be in a restaurant, bakery, or just asking for directions ... when it's becomes obvious that isn't working, I will ask 'English?' ... sometimes the response is a curt 'Yes' and we just go from there and finish the transaction ... but I will usually ask somewhere in the conversation how do you say that in German/Spanish/Italian/French (and Dutch in a few months) ... that tends to ease the situation and sometimes even evokes a smile.

But ... do I care if someone thinks I am being rude by politely asking 'English'? ... not one bit ... it's obvious I don't speak your language and I'm trying to communicate by finding a common ground ... if you have some pre-conceived idea of me being an ugly American because I simply ask if you speak my language, then so be it, have a nice day. And if I feel I have been rude, I will apologize ... I don't want to perpetuate the ugly American stereotype (of which I know there are some, we have all seen them).

Posted by
755 posts

I will stick with asking someone If they speak English before just barreling in with it. Often when I travel, I encounter people who obviously are not native to the country I am visiting and they often do not speak English, but they will speak the language of the country they have immigrated to, so we can proceed with trying communicate in that language.

Posted by
6231 posts

Hank, I love your story but I have to say I'm with Dutch Traveler on this one. My son-in-law, who I love dearly, cannot ask a question or give an answer without a 5 minute (if I'm lucky) explanation. For example, if I ask him when he will be home when I'm babysitting the kids, instead of responding with an approximate time, he tells me everything he is going to be doing while he's out, in GREAT detail! By the end of it, he's usually forgotten the question so I have to remind him. 😊

I appreciate that many people love to use their words but I think my German ancestry comes out when those words go on and on. I like short succinct responses; no matter what language they are in.

Posted by
1742 posts

Mardee I can be direct no problem. I choose though to write the way I want to write.

Regarding concision in general, it definitely has its virtues. It's also the darling of thoughtless aphorisms, a false marker of masculinity, and a place where people who got nothin' can hide. My dad loved concision. He loved to take in limited information and be very certain about things. Me I'd rather read more than less and not be so sure.

Anyway I'm at a bloated 18% of maximum length so better sign off ;)

Posted by
1742 posts

Oh and Mardee I have nearly all German ancestry too. So did Henry Miller, Goethe and my same-named distant ancestor, a medieval German mystic poetic. I'm not comparing myself to these phenomenal writers. Just pointing out that the rococo lyric style is as Teutonic as pushing a Scwabian plow silently day after silent day. I'd in fact argue that a defining characteristic of most Germanic written communication is detail at length. You could hurt your back picking up the manual that comes with most German cars for instance.

Posted by
3218 posts

I took two semesters of Dutch in college. Many years later, I mentioned this to some people in Amsterdam. Their response was "Why? Everybody here speaks English!"

Posted by
1742 posts

Having reread all the above replies, I'd like to make the distinction that we are talking about the Dutch, not Europeans in general. It's hard to sidestep the general rule of asking someone if they speak English before you start speaking English to them. But the Dutch speak English nearly universally. And as I've found many times now, they can get a little chapped when you ask. It doesn't mean anything when they do, but they aren't going to hide it if they think it's silly or ignorant that you ask a native of a nearly universal English speaking country if they speak English.

As some recommend above, I'm going to stop asking. See how that goes for 10 days in August. Wish me luck :)

Posted by
1742 posts

Estimated Prophet, My buddy who's been married to a Dutch woman lived in the Netherlands for 5 years, put in a pretty good effort to learning Dutch, and doesn't have more than a deep shelf of one-off phrases. It's almost impossible to get the immersion experience necessary for fluency.

Posted by
6231 posts

Mardee I can be direct no problem. I choose though to write the way I want to write.

Hank, I am with you there. Writing is different than talking in many respects including the fact that one can be as verbose as one likes without (too much) penalty. And it should be said that my aversion to listening to long explanations is that I am very visual and tend to get distracted after the second or third sentence - it is very hard for me to concentrate. So maybe I shouldn't be blaming it on the German ancestry. :)

Posted by
1117 posts

Americans can be very phony smiling at complete strangers giving out
too much info

And people calling themselves "Artificial Intelligence" can be very arrogant in stereotyping all people from a given nation.

Posted by
456 posts

Just one word for all this AI, GPTChat and robot stuff ... Terminator

Posted by
14482 posts

There are those nationalities in Europe I begin with the "do you speak English ? " question. That's a perfunctory and generic question. More interesting and linguistically revealing is how the interlocutor answers the question in the affirmative.

The Dutch are not one of these nationalities, along with a few others. With these nationalities and the Dutch I automatically begin in English.

Posted by
1184 posts

Well, I can tell how not to do it....

This was many years ago, one of my first independent trips to Europe. We arrived at the Delft train station, and I confidently walked up to the window and asked "sprechen sie englisch?" The Dutch worker looked up at me, sighed, and said in perfect English "Well, that's German, but, yes, I speak English." I did not walk away so confidently!

Posted by
380 posts

I just learn the standard greeting and they can tell from my accent I'm not Dutch and they usually pick up in English. Learn your good day/hello, please, excuse me, and thank you and you will be fine.

In Montreal, a thoroughly bilingual city, you are greeted with "Bonjour, hello" and the way you respond is the language they'll use. Montreal is NOT a good place to practice your French. But Amsterdam is just as bilingual, I've found.

Posted by
84 posts

Being Dutch I appreciate if someone asks me if it is oke to speak English and not just start talking in English assuming everybody does speak English in the Netherlands. A lot of people do but there’s still a group that doesn’t. Off topic: Especially in Amsterdam there are quite some people though working in shops and restaurants that don’t even speak Dutch (which annoys me too because for instance my mum can only speak Dutch and they can’t help her in her own language in her own country)

Posted by
14482 posts

Maybe so regarding Montreal since I have never been there.

To practice and especially diving immediately into French , as though one were in France itself, the place there is Quebec City, (my favourite city in North America), culturally fascinating, totally bilingually, which always amazes me.

Posted by
14482 posts

"Writing is different than talking in many respects...." So very true as it pertains to German Schriftsprache. Those moments where I seem to or do falter in not getting the spoken German out quick enough, I resort to using the written language (Schriftsprache), which the locals immediately recognise and indicates a number of things to them about me.

Posted by
1936 posts

I wouldn't stress asking if someone speaks English in NL as most young people under 50 know basic English-sometimes better then Americans and if you try to speak in Dutch they will reply back in English.

And yes, English is now the de facto language in the world. I was in the lobby of my hotel in Istanbul and heard the Turkish reservation clerk and the Norwegian guests agree to converse in English as it was the common language between them.

Posted by
1742 posts

I wouldn't stress asking if someone speaks English in NL as most young
people under 50 know basic English-sometimes better then Americans and
if you try to speak in Dutch they will reply back in English.

Exactly Heather. And so some Dutch people seem annoyed that you asked, replying not just yes, but in that trademark slightly annoyed Dutch tone, "Yes ... of course."

I've arrived at don't ask and fewer Dutch people will be bothered by you. I used to travel with the express purpose of annoying the Dutch, which truth be told wasn't at all hard for me to do, but now have seen the light and reformed my ways :)

Posted by
149 posts

Never have encountered a problem with my English in Amsterdam and towns outside area. A smile, please and thank and pay the money works just fine.