Hi Christopher, I’ve stayed in the Puglia region three times 2024-2026. Everyone has their own preferences so take this as just my opinion. I’ve stayed in Bari three times - two of those to attend the San Nicola Sagra festival and my recent stay for one night since I was flying late afternoon from Budapest. Of all of the places to stay in the Puglia region, I would prefer elsewhere, especially since you will have a car.
The idea of staying in the countryside is great. Choose one where you’re staying in a trullo. Waking up & seeing the interior of the cone roof is special. Matera is amazing & so unique! Yes, to staying two nights there. I loved my cave room & even selected my dates based on their availability: B&B, Palazzo Degli Abati. The view from the breakfast/evening tables, plus the room terrace was breathtaking, and it was very easy to find the B&B after exploring during the day.
https://www.palazzodegliabati.it/en
Polignano a Mare is in my Top 5 cities to stay in Italy. : ). I’ve stayed in 50 cities in Italy - 10 of those in this region. Going on an early morning walk in the old town lanes & down at the water, a boat ride seeing the jugged caves coastline and having dinner at tiny, intimate Mint Fresca (reservations a month ahead) is a perfect day. 2024, 2025 & 2026 included a few nights each time in Polignano a Mare.
I haven’t been south of Lecce just because I travel by train & occasionally a bus, and public transportation gets trickier in that area. So I can’t share any recommendations in the tip of the Salento. I’ve stayed in Matera, Trani, Bari, Alberobello, Locorotondo, Martina Franca, Lecce, Ostuni, Monopoli, Polignano a Mare. For your younger age, I would say Matera, somewhere in the countryside, Polignano a Mare, and Lecce with beach day trips. (If you don’t stay in PoM, stop in during the evening vs. mid-day.)