When your best memories are experiencing the life they live..........

Clearly, Paige, that type of personalized local experience will be tougher in these tourist-rich Italian cities without anyone you know living there, BUT my only thought, based on our experience, is to spend some time checking out the must-sees in each city (i.e., San Marco, Palazzo Ducale, Rialto in Venice; Il Campo and city hall in Siena; and the Forum and Coliseum and Vatican...and so much more...in Rome) but THEN get out of those must-see sites, and lose yourselves in quiet, local residential neighborhoods for dinner or an evening stroll. In Venice, for example, go to the other side of the Grand Canal, the quiet side, for dinner, and dine off the canal, deep in a residential area. Or make a pilgrimage in Rome to a beautiful church that is simply not accustomed to having tourist traffic. Even then, there's no guarantee you'll connect in the way you hope, but in my experience, it's the best way. One more thing: doing laundry, getting a haircut, hitting a grocery store...things locals do in their 'hoods...that can help, too. One of our favorite nights in Italy involved eating 'toast' (grilled cheese) in Stresa while doing laundry with an older Italian couple at a local shop! AND one last thing: try your hand at Italiano whenever you can...in our experience, senior citizens really get a kick out of our attempt to do so, and this has led to some fond memories of very heart-warming (and funny) conversations.

I agree with Gio--if you're not staying long enough to warrant a hair cut or a trip to the laundramat, shop in a local farmer's market and strike up conversations with shopkeepers. My husband is never shy about chatting with shopkeepers wherever we are or striking up a conversation with someone in a pub, and he is basically monolingual. He learns a couple of key phrases and uses gestures and his rudimentary knowledge of Portuguese to make the leap to other Romance languages. The thing is, he is interested in people and not afraid to cross that language barrier. Museums and historical sites are great, but we leave lots of time for just sitting in cafes or on park benches, too.

Wow, Gio, you hit the nail on the head! One of our neatest memories in Germany is when we took a wrong turn in a little village and went to the wrong vineyard. The little elderly man who answered the door didn't speak a word of English and just the bird's eye view of us trying to communicate with him in the misty, overcast mundane weekday morning was a laugh! He must have thought we were nuts! But we look back on that as a gem!

I think we'll take your advice and find the roads less traveled in Italy. Loved the laundry part of your story. THAT'S what I'm talking about. It seems that the "good stuff" is never what you stand in line for. (for us, at least.)

Good advice, too, about the groceries, haircuts, etc. On the list now!

I think our trip to Italy last year was the first time ever that we did a trip without any local connections whatsoever. And it really was a different trip. One of the reasons we liked our week in Campania best was that we stayed at a small B&B where we had lots of really nice discussions with the owner. So if we are in an area with no local contacts with very much prefer to stay in a B&B or a rental appartment with the owner very close by.

But even if you don't have local connections you can create conntacts with locals if you travel like the locals do. In Germany, one option could be to book one of the programs the DJH (Youth Hostel Organization) offers. They have lots of family programs, e.g. staying at a castle for a week with guided tours, playing knights and princesses and such. Or biking tours along the Mosel or Danube. 99% of the people in such group tours would be other Germans. And you get to spend a lot of time with them!

http://www.jugendherberge.de/en/travelservice/

You and Gio are so right, and probably so much fun to travel with. On our trips I like to bring home at least one "souvenir" that has some meaning for me. A couple of trips ago, my husband responded to a little Mama in a restaurant in the Italian he had learned from Rick's book. She asked (in her one word of English) "Okay?" when she was clearing the table. My husband responded that "It was better than my Mama's kitchen" He got hugs & kisses! It was hilarious. I then asked (and she brought someone to translate) if I could buy a dinner plate. They had their own logo. She packed it up, with a big smile, & included a logo wine glass. I now have a collection of logo dinner plates from restaurants that we have wonderful memories of.

I would suggest that you talk to the owners of your hotels, ask for restaurant recommendations, ask them if there is something happening in the neighborhood that you shouldn't miss. Also, try the language. It brings smiles & then the Italians feel more comfortable trying their English. Many of them asked what state we were from and they all had heard of Colorado.

You may not have a personal connection this time, but who knows, you may make a friend that's a personal connection for next time!

Have a great trip! And let us all on the helpline know how your trip was!

GREAT ideas! LOVE the dinner plate momento. I would have never thought of that...but what a treasured and meaningful souvenir. Very authentic.

When I booked a Uffizi reservation by the phone last month, at the end I said Grazi and the lady laughed. Either it was 1)a lame attempt or 2) entertaining. Then I laughed too.

These suggestions everyone has made are very thought out. I appreciate you all. This helpline is bursting at the seams with folks with a keen appreciation for enjoying Italy and a sincere desire to help others enjoy it too.

We like to pick a favorite cafe to get cappuccino each morning and become a temporary local. We watch the same people come at the same time and order the same thing every day. (We have our private names for them, grappa man, scooter man, grandma, John Travolta, etc.) We always shop at the same alimientari. The shopkeepers get to know us and we get a glimpse of daily life. This works best when you spend at least three days in each location.

When we are just passing through a town we find a place where no one speaks English, sit and watch. Soon you will find that everyone there knows each other and you can observe their daily ritual even if you're not really a part of it. It's even more fun when it's a town that has absolutely no tourist trade at all-- that local scene is so undiluted. But that also means it's harder to interact since you are the only outsiders it feels intrusive and no one is speaking a word of English. But it's delightful people-watching.

When you have a leisurely dinner the people at the next table probably speak English.(Of course, the next table is only two inches away...) We've shared great dinner conversations with people from Ireland, France, South Africa, Germany. As Americans, we tend to eat early (If you consider 7 PM early!) so we don't run into so many Italians-- they show up later. The locals are there to interact with their own family and friends so other tourists are more open to conversation.

We always wave when we pass a shop where we bought something. One evening a shop owner and his wife invited us back in and shared some vin santo (that he made himself) with us. We talked. They spoke in Italian, we spoke in English, but it sorta worked.

I bring postcards from home to show people what California is like & some personal calling cards to share email addresses.

I'm going to try to meet some local people for coffee on my next trip through couchsurfing.com.

I'd love to hear others' tips on how to do this too.

On one of our first trips through Scotland (back in 1983), my wife and I happened to stop at a nice looking hotel in Perth, near the Huntingtower castle. It was November, and we were just winging it...no reservations. As it turns out, we we're the only guests that night. When I signed in (I have a very Italian last name) the woman replied, "italiano?". I said yes, and she called her husband out. They were both born in Italy and moved to Scotland to run the hotel.

They invited us to join them at the bar for a whisky tasting when we were settled in. Gina poured the drinks, and Aldo talked with us about his home in Tuscany and how different it was to be in Scotland. He spoke very little English, but enough so my basic Italian helped us get through many of the conversations and the jokes.

That little whisky tasting ended up lasting all night, and in the morning, we had a chance to meet their 3 children, who all had the beautiful Italian eyes, and spoke with Scottish accents. We ended up spending the next 2 days based in Perth and had a wonderful time with our new Italin/Scottish friends.

Several years later, we returned to Scotland, and met up with Gina and Aldo in Perth again. They had sold the hotel, but the new owners had their address, so we popped in. Vivan answered the door, and we continued right where we left off. This time, she had just received a shipment of vino and homemade salumi that her father sent to her. We spent the whole night in the kitchen eating salumi, drinking her father's wine, and making pasta.

Fast forward 12 years and 2 children later, and we toured Scotland again as a family this time. Gina and Aldo were on their way to their oldest daughters birthday party, so off we went with them and our children.

These are the things that tie people, families and the world together...at least for my family. As we prepare to leave for Italy in 2 weeks, we wonder who we'll run into. It wouldn't suprise me one bit if it was Gina and Aldo.

I have fallen in love with this topic. (I know, it sounds lame, but hey...) Our family of four leaves in two days for an adventure in Italy, and I am really looking forward to trying out the ideas posted here and on other threads regarding ways to truly interact with the locals.

My husband is the kind of person who can make friends with a fence post, and even though he knows no Italian I am anticipating some fun conversations. When we visited England in the mid-80s, we spent each night at a B&B and had some great times talking with the owners. (One elderly lady told us she would provide "entertainment" during our breakfast, then promptly tuned her radio to a broadcast from Parliament!)

I also love to talk with people, and I am hoping that for our sons this trip is more than just sightseeing as "consumer tourists". I'm hoping they are willing to get into this spirit of interaction and bring home the kind of memories you all have related.

Thanks again for your great stories and suggestions,
Melissa