Visiting Italy

I am sorry you are not enjoying your trip.

Did you think it would not be crowded?

I think that after the pandemic people stopped 'waiting' and started travelling. Hence, Italy is very crowded, all the time. I'm currently planning my 22nd visit. So, I've done all the major sites and major cities. What I learned a few years ago (post-pandemic) is to 'turn left at the next street or alley if I see a crowd of tourists coming towards me or catching up from behind. I've learned to enjoy getting lost, discovering very interesting neighborhoods, seeing relics of centuries long gone that weren't on the RS 'must do' list. I suspect, from your comments, this is your first trip. Sorry that it isn't turning out more enjoyable. Maybe spend a little time sitting on a piazza with a gelato or an aperatif, and just enjoy being there. Spend longer at dinner especially where there is no menu in English. Siena has lots of opportunities to do just that!

Sorry to hear this, truly. You started with the two bigger cities - I believe Bologna and definitely Siena will be smaller and hopefully less crowded. As an introvert, I find it helpful to go out and walk by myself, just 180 degrees from the crowded place you are, until I reach a quiet piazza or something. Perhaps you would be able to do that, and recharge yourself. Some of my best vacation memories are those quiet moments alone, in a setting I didn't plan but just happened upon.

My husband and I also find that being together on vacation 24/7 can be draining, and you and your wife may find the same, if in the day-to-day you spend time apart doing your own things. Sending you my hopes that you can find some peaceful and relaxing moments.

Part of it is the walking. I don't mind walking. I've done the Camino Frances and Portuguese. But walking in very crowded environment I am finding not relaxing. I expected some solemnity at the Vatican but the elbow to elbow crowd detracted from what it has to offer. And that statement applies to pretty much everywhere we have gone - pantheon, Colleseum, Forum, Duomo, David. And I expect to everywhere else we will be going. I also find the food unimpressive. Most likely because I cook fairly well. In fact, after eating out a few times, I decided to cook dinner at our Airbnb. We both liked what I prepared much better.

Crowds are tiring and impact the quality of our vacation. This is why I love traveling off-season when airfare is less with fewer crowds visiting the sights.
Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time finding good dining options. Sounds like you need to go where the locals eat and not patronize the restaurants where the tourists eat.

Im not sure what the point of this post is. If it is to serve as a crowd warning, you are a little late- the crowds in Rome and Florence have been bad since the end of the Pandemic. Or perhaps it is a warning to do more research while itinerary planning, so you can avoid going to places that are crowded, when you know that crowds bother you? Or perhaps it is a warning not to defer all of the trip planning to another person who may not share your tolerances or interests?

It's regrettable that you are not enjoying your trip. Apparently your wife doesnt share your opinion. Perhaps this can be a lesson learned, and something you can mutually work to avoid on future trips.

If you are still in Florence, I suggest escaping for a few hours and maybe for dinner to somewhere quieter nearby like the hill town of Fiesole. I was there ages ago so I don't know how crowded Fiesole gets these days. Fortunately, Bologna doesn't have any mega sites that get the crowds like Rome and Florence. Even when the central piazzas are crowded, I found museums and churches in Bologna rather empty. You might ask at you hotel wherever you are staying for suggestions for escaping the crowds.

We have gone to other places in the Mediterranean where crowds are nothing like these. And yes, that's what I expected. Not elbow to elbow. We have visited local eateries too. Food was ok. Like I mentioned, I have done the Camino Frances and Portuguese so I'm exposed to EU culture. But the Italian cities we've been to so far are just nuts. My next trip will be another Camino which I enjoy better.

I was just going to reassure you that Bologna will not be as crowded. We were there last June which I would think would be busier than April and never found the crowds oppressive. We were in Rome in 2023 and was amazed by the crowds. No comparison.

Here is my trip report. We went to Bologna last. We did a number of things we really enjoyed so you might skip down to that part and see if anything speaks to you.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/northern-italy-trip-report-venice-padua-dolomites-and-bologna

Well, you did pick Italy. Not exactly off the beaten path.

Sounds like you'd feel the same way in London, Paris or Salzburg.

Do daytrips, get out of town.

Go out at about 6:30am or 7:00am, walk around for two or three hours and you’ll barely see anyone out there. Cleaning crews, delivery people, people on their way to work, occasional tourist, but it’ll be mostly empty early on and relatively empty after 8:00am or so. Then go to the hotel for breakfast and a shower. I like to take pictures and don’t like people in them, and that’s what I sometimes do and it works for me.