Verona to Lake Como then Malan

Where on Lake Como? It is a big lake.

"today train tickets quoted at €60 each just to get from Verona to Lake Como" - I think you misread something, there is no one station for "Lake Como".
The lake is shaped like an upside-down Y. There is a rail line that goes up the eastern side of the lake, with multiple stations. Como town, which is at the south-west end of the lake, also has rail access. For the rest, it is buses or ferry boats on the lake.

We are staying at a hotel in Como CO 23391
which I believe is at bottom of the Y -Is train better then boat around lake or should I look for car or private driver? We did not plan this leg of our trip well but have 2 nights in Verona to figure this out. Thanks so much for your reply.

I am not sure where that address is. 23391 is not a valid Italian Postcode, 22100 is the code for Como town.
I looked it up here: https://www.getapostcode.com/en/italy/?SearchText=23391

If it is Como town, you can get to Como town easily by rail via Milan. It has three stations, all reachable by regular trains from Milan (Como San Giovanni, Como Nord Lago and Como Nord Borghi). You would have to find out which is nearest to your hotel.

Getting around the lake is a different question. If you are in Como town, rail is not good because you have to go south to Milan then north again, and rail only serves the towns on the eastern side of the lake.
Better is the lake boats, from Como town you can reach anywher on the lake.

A ticket from Verona P. Nuova to Como S. Giovanni using only Regional trains costs 15.25 € pp, one way. I don't know what site you are using to check fares and schedules, but the official one is www.trenitalia.com/tcom-en.