...is there such a thing? Looking for the over 40 crowd or at least one that is not an on going party..but a little fun and a nice crowd is always good.. Looking in Rome and Florence or if you have one that you really like in another city/town let me know. thanks!
Aren't those called hotels?
Yeah, the "flashpacking" trend is on the rise. Usually, hostels catering for flashpackers (people aged 40+ who used to backpack when younger and now, kids grown up and else, are back to the travelling lifestyle) are hybrids of hostels and hotels: mostly small but private bedrooms, comfortable shared bathrooms, a social gathering area... However, something they are not is cheap. A couple travelling together will probably spend more in a "flash-hostel" than in a budget hotel.
You might have better luck with B&Bs, especially if you are staying for several days.
In Florence, I have stayed twice at the Archi Rossi hostel. Everything about it is good (well, breakfast is sketchy), including the strict quiet policy from 11 pm to 7 am. I never saw rowdiness. I met families, several over-40's and even over-60's. It's nice to hang out in the dining hall in the evening (or at breakfast) and compare travel notes. If you want comfort, splurge on a double room en suite with a queen bed. Book through their website. I stayed at a fairly low cost hotel in Rome, also very good. There always seemed to be a crowd of over-40's from the UK at breakfast. Also take a look at hostelworld.com - they have reviews on hostels.
The Beehive in Rome caters to a mature backpacking crowd but it is so popular they are probably booked: www.the-beehive.com Also consider convents/religious housing - just be sure to find out if there is a curfew! Details: http://www.santasusanna.org/comingToRome/convents.html
Check out Sixbeds in Rome. It's near the train station, 50 euro/night, and you get a private bedroom and shared bathrooms w/ a few other rooms w/ a communal space and host. It has great reviews. Also look at Beehive for "flashpacking". Florence - there aren't a ton of "really nice" hostels in Florence. Archi Rossi is a good bet and also near the train station. However I've heard it can get rowdy in the hostel part.
Another vote for The Beehive. It is great but booked most of the time.
Thank you for those who have suggested places to stay-
My favorite hostel that I return to in Florence is the Academy hostel, a block up from the Duomo and a few minutes down from the Academia. They have 2 private doubles (one with ensuite) and 1 private single. One private double and the single share one bathroom.
I also stayed at the Academy Hostel in Florence. Booked it thru Hostelworld.com. It was very nice and very highly rated. I was traveling alone, and am (a young!) 60 yrs. old. There were folks of all ages...and quite a few 40 to 50 yr. olds. They offered free breakfast (standard) and wine or sangria and a light bite in the evening (a wonderful pasta salad one night!).