To travel with an 18 month old or not to Europe?

The trouble with taking an 18 month old will be having to lug around all the baby paraphernalia (diaper bag, stroller, etc...). Europe, and Italy especially, is better enjoyed without having the distraction of a very young child, changing diapers, the hassle of having to take "extras", and getting on and off of public transportation (without getting pickpocketed). Less is more. Having said that, this also depends on how well-traveled your child is and if he/she is fussy or even-tempered. That will be your call. If you do take your toddler, I would suggest a light itinerary and keep the travel to a minimum. Stay in one place for a while and savor it. Some people want to travel to and spend the night in a different place every day and that is just unreasonable with a toddler in tow. There are downsides to taking a 4 or 5 year old also!

Since we have family to visit in Europe we've taken our kids at all ages. And used the time to explore well beyond our home base.

However, WHAT you do in Europe with a toddler is quite different from what you can do with a school-aged child. When they were little we stayed away from the large cities and tried to do something that included water if we travelled in the summer.

Instead of Paris we went to Brittany and included some beach time. Rather than staying in an expensive hotel on Rue Cler we opted for a 50 Euro/night B&B frequented mostly by Brits (they just hop over the channel and land in St Malo) where the kids felt like the Norman knights who built it sometime ago in the 13th century.

When we went to Crete grandma came along as well so that she was looking after our 20 months old daughter in the pool while hubby and I explored Knossos and the museum in Heraklion.

In Germany we explored the smaller and lesser known castles in the Muenster region instead of taking them to crowded Neuschwanstein. And there are many public swimming pools around that our kids love. They jumped from the 5 meter platform at the age of 7 for the first time because that was the first time they saw one - in a small town in rural Germany.

In Holland we did go to Arnheim to see the Kröller-Müller Museum. But when our almost 2 year old set of the alarm for getting to close to a van Gogh (she actually did it twice in 5 minutes ...) we headed outside and spent lots of time in Europe's largest sculpture park where the kids were allowed to climb on many of the sculptures. We did the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam later when they were 8 and 10 and then they really enjoyed listening to the audio guide especially designed for children.

Our kids were already 10 and 12 when we went to Italy. Still, they would put Rome pretty much last on their list of favourite memories while the week we spent in Tuscany relaxing at the pool most days comes out clearly on top.

contd:

What I wanted to show with these examples is that you certainly can go to Europe with a toddler. Just adjust your expectations as to what you'll get out of it. The child won't remember anything but you will have some precious memories to take home. However, they probably won't include hours spent in the Uffizi but maybe some time feeding the pigeons at one of the many fountains in Rome. It's up to you to decide whether you might as well feed the ducks in Seattle and create your memories closer to home without the hassles of travelling.

My daughter and son-in-law canceled their trip to London and Paris with their then 1 yo son, last year at this time. They had planned it 6 months earlier, before living with the reality of a mobile child. They had rented apartments in both cities, but it was the thought of 10 hours in a plane - - like you from the west coast - - with him (and he's as mellow a baby as I've ever seen) that decided them. Toddlers want to move around, and they aren't famous for their rationality. My advice is wait.

Ditto on the loooong plane ride. Forgot about that! Try that with a screaming toddler prone to nose bleeds...

We took our 15 month old daughter to Paris and to Southern France for 2 weeks. It was a GREAT trip. But I will say this if you go with the expectation that you will be dealing with all the normal hassles of home life with a toddler, except be doing that in a foreign country, you will have a great time. Let's just say I dealt with a screaming child at home, and so I did in Europe too. But I was in a much more interesting place. Small children open the doors to new relationships. We met more people from all over the world with our small child and in some ways were treated better and more like one of the locals. It was an amazingly memorable trip for us and even though our daughter does not remember, I know her experience has helped shape who she is. A confident and excited travelor who loves to meet new people.

Some issues to think about... you will be tired. But you will be tired with a toddler at home too. Your child will take days to adjust to the new time zone. Plan to let them nap in their stroller and enjoy the cafe time you will have with a sleeper. But know they will be awake in the middle of the night for a couple of days. Bring books! You can buy all the diapers etc. and everything you need there. Also, we NEVER traveled with a baby bed. All the hotels we stayed provided them and they were all practically new and very safe. Do bring your own carseat though. We did toddler, 1 suitcase, one backpack suitcase, and a carseat inside a travel bag (stuffed with all sorts of other things) and a small stroller. That's it. Take trains during nap time, plan air flights at bedtime, drive scenic routes at nap time. Go for it and have a great time. I would much rather change a diaper under the Eiffel Tower than at home.

PS My daughter is now 10. She is sooo excited to see the Eiffer Tower again in a month! We have new challenges with older kids... picky eaters, tears, jet leg, tired feet, complaining. But we deal with that at home too!

BTW... my kids do fine on planes. Even when they were 15 mos. Red eyes are the best. They sleep the whole time. We always stuck to our normal bedtime routine. Even including brushing teeth in the airplane sink...and I would tell them for days before how fun it will be that they can go "night night" on an airplane. Even before they could talk, they understood.

I have never taken a toddler to Europe, but I have taken a mid teen daughter, and in my eyes(you might agree in a few years)that is close to the same. The point is, this child will never remember where you went, or what you saw, but he/she will remember the fact that their mother and father were adventurous and willing to step out and do what was uncomfortable with/for their child. If we always chose the prudent, smart, common sense answer, our children would never know what made the world go around. My children have been to the ocean floor in Argentina, and to the top of the statue of liberty, and all points in between. Do I have perfect children, no!!! but my children do have a more balanced view of the world. I support you, and your trip. Go and enjoy, and think of the stories you will be able to tell your child! Caio, Jeff

Guys! I want to thank you all. All of you have given me advise which is totaly different but makes total sense if I look at the bigger picture. I have decided to make this trip in my heart and have booked the tickets. Now, I'll just stay longer in each place instead of 1 night or 2 days and really soak in as much as possible. It won't be a perfect trip but it will be fun, I know. First time...Every time.

Thank you. Thank you.

Sonis, I know you already made up your mind, and I just wanted to say...We took our son to Italy and he actually celebrated his 1st birthday in Italy with Italian relatives! It probably could not have been a worse age to bring him because he was very new to walking (pretty wobbly) and there's very little soft carpet in Italy! We dealt with no seat belts in their cars to attach our baby seat to, no a/c, no baby gates, a rickety old crib, and all sorts of stresses AND yet we had a fabulous trip! Have a wonderful time on your trip to Italy and Paris!

Don't hesitate and have a great time! Why put off what's doable now? As a youngish Gma, I have noticed that in Europe there aren't always the safety barriers that I've come to expect in the U.S. when touring sites in Europe. Just keep an eye out for that.

My brother and sister-in-law had their entire family in France over Christmas when their youngest was 18 months old. At the Louvre, the security guards saw them in line with their stroller and came and brought them to the head of the line inside. This was typical treatment everywhere they went. Just be very sensitive to the feelings of the folks on the plane with you--do your best to keep the baby occupied so that there isn't a lot of screaming and fussing (a pacifier is a good thing for flying, btw). My last trip to Europe there was a family in the row in front of us with two young children and I was very impressed at how they kept their children happy and relatively quiet throughout the long flight. Once you are IN Italy and Paris, you will be the center of attention because babies are much-loved and fussed over there.

We started bringing our kids when they were old enough to carry their own bag and walk for a day. Our oldest started at six, the others (probably because they had their sister's example to follow) started about five.

Before that, the time was a good chance for them to visit grandma's house and get to know their grandparents a little better.

I agree with Scott about carting all the "support" for bringing a toddler.

You are also throwing them off their eating and sleeping schedule, which means they will be miserable, and asking them to eat different foods and sleep in unusual beds every night.

Since the child will be miserable, mom will be miserable. Since mom will be miserable, dad will be miserable. Rather than a chance to reignite your romance, you'll be testy with each other because no one's getting enough sleep and you never feel like you can relax.

What's worse, they won't remember the trip at all. I was talking to my youngest, 12, about a trip we took when she was 7 (she traveled very well and was the best of our kids on that trip). She said she barely remembered the trip.

We moved to Italy 3 years ago with our-then 5 month old and our 3.5 year old, and we've done a ton of traveling with them over the last 3 years. By far the hardest part is the transatlantic flight. We've made that trip about twice a year, and if you're prepared for it, you should do fine. Forget about packing light-- it's just not going to happen with a toddler-- instead, pack as many new (to them) and interesting toys and games to keep them occupied for the long flight. It takes a lot of parental involvement, and sadly you can't just nap for a few hours like you'd like to do, especially if the baby's not too interested in napping. Someone else mentioned the pacifier being your best friend. Yes, by all means use it. Start now if you haven't already :-) OK, only kidding a little. Up until our fairly recent weaning, that was our "go to" tool when all else failed. Anyway, you know your child and his personality, so you'll have a better idea of what it takes to keep him occupied for long stretches.

Once you're in Italy, things get much easier. People love babies and young children here. Lots of times the waitstaff will entertain the kids during a meal. Many pizzerias will give you a hunk of dough to play with. People help me get off the train with a stroller.

Another tip: you might consider not adjusting too much to the local time once you get here. People tend to wake up late and eat late throughout the day. You're not going to find many non-touristy restaurants open before 7, and most Italians start thinking about dinner around 9. If you're able to recalibrate your sleep schedule to align with the local eating time, it might be easier for everyone. And of course, you have to do as the locals do and take a LONG afternoon nap.

Anyway, it's not all a walk in the park, but Italy is one of the most child-friendly places on earth. Remember, he's not going to get much out of the trip-- find a way to enjoy it while he's along for the ride.