Separate checks at dinner?

I don't practice separate checks, but I'm sure I've seen it. It would depend on the establishment being familiar with the idea -- which would probably depend on location more than anything else.

On the other hand, I don't like chipping in for an unfair portion of a pig dinner.

One thing that could contribute to the problem is that in some cases the sever has paid for the stuff before it comes to the table and it's up to him to recoup his loan to you.

The tab can sit on the table for seven evers. Why couldn't all throw their share on the tray and the last one check to make sure there's enough there to cover bill? Or, if credit cards are involved, one fork over cash to the charger?

I totally get where you are coming from. The same thing happened to me recently at a fairly expensive place. Although we had far less food and drink than our friends, they wanted to split the bill evenly. My suggestion is that you have a frank conversation with your friends before you get there. Explain that you prefer to only pay for what you consume. If you can get separate checks, great. If not, it's understood beforehand that each couple will pay their own share. It's one thing for it to be inequitable for one meal, but for 2 weeks it could get very costly for you.

I have this problem with some friends too who want to order appetizers, desserts, etc, when I don't, and then evenly split the check. I don't think it's rude to ask if the restaurant can do separate checks, but if they don't, everyone just pays the amount of the check that is theirs. I agree with a previous poster that this is something to talk about ahead of time. Good luck!

Don't be surprised if you get resistance from the waiter, depending on the restaurant. As a rule, the busier the place is, the less likely they are to give you separate checks. I second the idea of a frank discussion with your friends ahead of time. Good luck.

I so sympathize with where you're coming from, Ellen!

We often travel with another couple and usually get one bill. When we do, we each calculate what our actual share is of the food, but split the wine bottles equally. We also split the total tip equally (easier to calculate that way). That works really well for the four of us.

A couple of years ago, we traveled with a different couple, assuming that we would be handling meal bills the same way. The husband would grab the bill and immediately calculate the bill in half, for each couple to pay. It didn't work for us - the bill was always skewed by several pre-dinner drinks and driven upwards by wine more expensive than what we'd usually order. It was embarrassing for me to bring it up, but after a couple of days, I started asking for split bills at the beginning of the meal, at the time of ordering. I also quickly got into the habit of selecting and ordering the first bottle of wine and putting it on our bill. We would not pick up the second bottle. The compromise worked well and we didn't pay as much as at the start. This was in France and the requests for separate bills were accommodated with no issue. In the rare instances where there was a "couvert", it was added in appropriately.

Since you're already aware of the issue, let the other couple know how you would like to approach bill paying during your trip. You should have this discussion before you go. You could use the unfamiliarity of paying for meals in Italy as your reason to open this discussion... ;-)

Make sure that you let the waiter know at the time of ordering how you want the bill done. The only thing I'd watch in Italy is that if a "coperto" (cover) is added, that it be added per head on the appropriate bills. I'd also watch how the "servizio" (tip) is charged, if it's added to the bills.

I travel for a couple of weeks with friends and we get one bill and split it according to the orders. I wouldn't mind splitting it three ways with this couple, but we just do the math and each pay cash proportionately, or one person pays with a credit card and the other (one or two) throw in cash.

I have gone out with people who order four courses and drinks before, during and after, and then want to split the bill into equal shares. I just say, sorry, that won't work for me.

It may not happen all the time, but you can split bills. It may be easiest if you all keep enough cash (and small bills/change) to just pay your portion by cash (and then the waiter doesn't have to do anything to split the bill either). And I agree with the suggestion to have a conversation about it up front - I would rather get that out of the way ahead of time than when you are over there already. You can also tell the waiter at the beginning of the meal you prefer split checks than try to figure out how to divide it at the end (as a former server, the warning really helps make sure I keep it in order! Can't guarantee it will over in Italy but I assume it would make it easier on them).

Just a couple thoughts, Ellen. Of course you know the other couple and your relationship, and i don't, and i also don't know how you're communicating in your travel planning, in person, by phone, or by e-mail, but you might try an approach something like this; "During our trip, we will be watching both our waistlines and our budget. If it's OK with you, we'd like to generally limit what we order and eat, and then pay for that, rather than just splitting bills." i think that says it nicely but also makes your point, no? It will also set the tone whether you can easily get separate bills or not.
Another alternative would be to simply eat considerably more, or be sure to get the biggest, best and most expensive dessert at the end of the meal, even if you take all or most of it to go. :->))

OK so we have heard from all the people who think they get taken advantage of...where are the people who have the nerve to order expensive food and then let others pay for it?:))
If it does come all on one bill I would just grab it, figure out what I owed and then give cash to the other party and let them deal with it...just don't forget to figure in your own tax and trip (somehow lots of people underestimate that)
Try to deal with it ahead of time otherwise it can add a stress to your trip that you don't need.

At the end of your dinner just get up, go to the cash register and pay separately. I've done it that way with my friends growing up in Italy all the time and even as recently as a few months ago. I don't even bother to ask for the check and neither do my Italian friends. Just get up and head to the cash register. And our tip for the separate checks has always been rigorously 0%, not a cent less or more.

Suggestion: Take a picture of the bill with your smartphone, and settle up daily or whatever. One person can pay the bill for ease of procedure at the restaurant. I think the key thing is to talk about it in advance.

My two cents: if it's at all close, I say just split the check and be done with it. The little bit of extra money is surely worth not even having to think about it.

But if it is very uneven, the best way to handle it is to bring a lot of cash. You know what you order, so you have a rough idea what you owe by the end of the meal. Make sure you get the check first. Grab it, put in what you owe plus a little extra, and hand it over. Let them deal with paying the balance.

I was hoping Roberto would weigh in on this. Given the amount of time he has spent in Italy, I would strongly consider following his suggestion. It's not uncommon at all for Italians to go up to the cash register to pay in pretty much all the restaurants. It's also a good option if you can't wait any longer for your waiter to bring you your check, or if you're waiter is pulling some funny business by writing the amount you owe on your paper tablecloth. (We had that happen at a busy pizzeria in Rome.) They're required to bring you an itemized bill.

If you don't get an actual bill, as Michael observed, ask for "la ricevuta fiscale".

When each couple is spending thousands of dollars on the trip, is counting dollars and keeping track of who orders what and drinks what really worth it? If they are "good" friends you should have had this talk long before a trip to Europe. I can't disagree its a source of irritation and inconsideration on the part of "good" friends. But there has to be redeeming values of their company and their relationship with you. I say make each meal a special memory and splitting the meals in half is not worth making it a possible issue.
Lean back, enjoy the beauty of a wonderful trip with wonderful friends. In the total scheme of things that why your going to Italy!

Aside from the personal issues one may have with travelling companions, I will at least point out that in smaller places it is not uncommon to share a table with others (though, yes, I know many are reluctant to do so if it is strangers) I do not think it would be strange at all to offer to share a table, but make it clear you are two parties. The down side of course is you should not expect that your courses arrive at the same time or that service may be equal, but not a big thing.

I guess I will add that I am though reluctant to appear as a group, then after the fact to ask them to "split" the check, trying to sort out the items, or ask that an item be split. If that is the need, then do it among yourselves.

People are either givers or takers. You are givers, your friends are takers. In my experience, gentle firmness with takers does not cause hard feelings. Takers, like small children, need to have boundaries. While an occasional dinner may not be worth the effort, 2 weeks together is. If you don't fix the problem, preferably before you leave, you are going to harbor resentment during the trip and the strain will take its toll on your enjoyment and the friendship. Unless your economic situation is much better than theirs, there's no reason to subsidize their trip.

When I've traveled with friends, we agree at the beginning how to handle combined expenses. It's often more convenient for one person to pay for the taxi or the admission tickets, or whatever. We each keep track of what we spend and settle up every few days. That might be a way to start a conversation about restaurant bills.