Questions about Rome and vicinity with my older mother

The ideal solution would be to squeeze a few days in the Naples-Amalfi Coast area--would that be possible? If you don't have enough time to do both places, I would still consider paying for two hotel rooms one night so you can see the coast at a more leisurely pace before heading back to Rome.
I can't imagine doing Pompeii and anything else in one day, and I am below 50.
How do you feel about driving yourself? As long as you avoid driving in Naples, Rome outskirts to Pompeii would not be a difficult drive.

I agree with trying to stay in both places, if possible, so you are not so rushed. But here is an option—a day tour from Rome of Pompeii and the Amalfi Coast, with a stop in Positano. We have used Walks of Italy for several day/half day tours and were very pleased with them.

https://www.walksofitaly.com/pompeii-tours/pompeii-tours-from-rome/

Consider the possibility that it may be very hot, which would make Pompeii quite tiring. I question whether it's a good idea to do anything else that day, but I haven't looked at the description of the Walks of Italy tour. I think the depth of your mother's interest may be a factor: Will a short look at Pompeii be enough for her? And will a glance at the Amalfi Coast be enough? I know some folks have said you can spend nearly a full day at Pompeii (I haven't been there). And multiple days are definitely recommended for the Amalfi area.

Do you think I should do Pompeii in one day then back to Rome and go back to Naples or Amalfi Coast for short boat tour with her on a separate day?

If you have the time to to this , why not just spend a night in Naples or Sorrento. Do Pompeii one day and the boat trip the other?

Do you think it's feasible to do both of these things in a day?

NO

If you were staying in San Francisco, would you try to do a day trip to Yosemite and a harbor cruise all in the same day?

We went to Pompeii in early July from Sorrento which is much closer than Rome. We had a two hour tour (purchased near tickets) which was very worth it. We then wandered around some on our own and had lunch. We headed back in the middle of the afternoon and were exhausted from the heat.

Unless you have unusually cool weather I would say doing Pompeii would be more than enough for a day, especially given its distance from Rome.

I would agree with others that staying a few nights in this area beats day tripping from Rome.

Thank you all. Have decided to only do the Pompeii tour in one day. Then, will do the Naples tour another day. We have hotels booked already in Rome and taking my mother with her baggage into another city is what I am avoiding. If I could find a Civitavecchia boat tour it would solve all our issues so we don't have to go to Naples.

Have decided to only do the Pompeii tour in one day. Then, will do the
Naples tour another day.

Paula, IMHO this plan is going to be more stressful/tiring than just rebooking your accommodation for a couple of nights to be closer to the things you wish to see. Really. Bus/minivan tours to Pompeii from Rome spend more time ON the road than actually seeing the scavi: about 3 to 3.5 hours each way so 6-7 hours in a vehicle. Then you're going to turn around and go to Naples (which is not all that far from Pompeii) again? If you MUST do that second trip, I'd definitely do it by train, non-stop from Roma Termini to Napoli Centrale, and then a cab to the cruise port to meet whichever boat tour you choose.

I don't think that a Civitavecchia boat tour would solve your problems as it's largely large-vessel port and not particularly attractive. Not sure Naples harbor would provide the scenery she may have in her mind's eye either; the Amalfi would be better.

Are your hotel reservations non-refundable, so you can't change them? And does your mom have specific mobility challenges? Not sure if you have been to Pompeii yet on your previous trips but it's a HUGE site that involves a lot (!) of walking on uneven surfaces.

Your plan sounds counterproductive and exhausting. A day trip to Pompeii from Rome is a long, tiring day. And then returning to Naples? This does not make any sense.
We were in Sorrento when we took the commuter train to Pompeii. The weather was warm, not hot and we were very tired. It would be easier to move to Naples for a few nights. Look at Palazzo Alabardieri in the lovely Chiaia area, along the Bay of Naples.
What it is about a boat tour of the Bay of Naples that she is looking for? It was packed with cruise ships and ferry boats when we were there. We took the ferry from Naples to Capri but the actual harbor is not something I would say is a “must see” and I am trying hard to remember it. You see Mt. Vesuvius from the walkway/lungomare near the hotel I suggested above. Sorrento also,gives you a great view of the Bay of Naples.

It sounds like your Mom has a desire to be on the water or to see beautiful water views. The only issue is that this desire doesn't really gel with being in Rome, or using Rome as a base. I realize you're trying to minimize movements with luggage etc., but have you considered just flying into Naples and using that area as a base? You can easily see the Amalfi Coast and Pompeii from there, it makes for a more practical base. Capri (a ferry ride away across the Bay of Naples) is really lovely too and has fantastic views, but it will be hot and crowded in June. I too question the plans to make 2 separate day trips from Rome, especially if you are worried about your older Mother's stamina on this trip.

"Older mom" ???

If lugging baggage is a problem, you could spend the one night away from Rome and just take one day's worth of stuff ( should easily fit in one bag), rather than bringing everything.

If subways and moving luggage are things to avoid, I cannot see how making two separate trips is better.

If lugging baggage is a problem, you could spend the one night away from Rome and just take one day's worth of stuff ( should easily fit in one bag), rather than bringing everything.

Joe beat me to it. A few items in a daypack should be enough for one overnight in Naples or Sorrento.

This tour should cover all your requirements...
https://www.viator.com/tours/Rome/3-Day-Italy-Trip-Naples-Pompeii-Sorrento-and-Capri/d511-5034ROM17

Kudos to you for taking your mother on a trip and having these memories with her. In my opinion a boat tour of Naples Harbor would be disappointing. It is more of a commercial harbor and not picturesque like the Amalfi Coast. If you wish to have beautiful water views the ferry from Positano to Amalfi town is gorgeous. However the Amalfi Coast takes a lot of time to get to. We spent a week on the Amalfi coast with 3 days in Positano and 3 days in Sorrento. Sorrento has beautiful views across the Bay of Naples to Mt. Vesuvius. We took a boat ride from Sorrento to Capri, but it makes a difference what type of boat you are on for the views. On the way over we were on a hydrofoil boat with windows low to the water and you could not see anything. On the way back we were on the upper deck of a ferry boat and it was a beautiful ride. We went to Pompeii from Sorrento. There is not much shade in Pompeii so it may be hot there and that would be enough to fill a day by itself. It seems like you may wish to do either Rome or the Amalfi Coast. Naples had a lot of panhandlers and we did not feel comfortable there the night we were there. Have fun planning!

It does get hot in Pompeii so try to go first thing in the morning but that is hard to do if you take the train from Rome the same day. And take one of those sun umbrellas. I did and was probably a good 20 degrees cooler than all the other poor saps. My husband thought it was dorky, but boy did he cozy up close to me to stand under it. On a two week trip to (mostly) Rome in 2017 we took the train from Rome in the afternoon, stayed the night at Hotel Vittoria (a bit down at the heels, but views from the balcony into the scavi and excellent breakfast) and then went in the morning as soon as it opened. We lasted until about lunch. We ate right outside the exit at a touristy, but fun, place under the lemon trees. After lunch, took the train to Sorrento then the ferry (hydro foil one) to Capri for one night. The ferry back to Sorrento and train back to Rome. All other nights were in Rome. It was a lot of traveling for just those days, but I'm glad we did it. Part of the fun was traveling by train and ferry. If that isn't fun for you or your Mom, don't make Rome the home base. We took only one small bag for both of us for that part of the trip and it did make things easier.